29th December 1944 - Bolivia
As President Pumarejo prepares a traditional Colombian 'pick-me-up' to help Londono Y Londono recover (a nice Enyucado cake and some strong coffee from the highlands), we depart Bogoata and travel further South, rising up to the Andes until we reach the highest capital on earth - La Paz.
We arrive and see President Gualberto Villarroel receiving an unexpected visitor, the head of the Supreme Court of Bolivia had demanded an urgent meeting and the President had considered it wise to agree. After the usual pleasantries, Tomás Monje revealed the reason for his visit.
"The National Assembly have grave concerns about some of your recent decisions." Monje said.
"Why could they not bring such concerns to me themselves?" Villarroel asked.
"They were concerned you would kill them and dump their bodies from the heights of Death Road."
"That's only for anti-people traitors." Villarroel explained.
"Like those opposition leaders." Monje suggested.
"Surely they don't count, they all willing chose to jump off."
"Because it was that or be shot."
"Exactly." Villarroel nodded.
"And then there were all those trade union leaders?" Monje reminded him.
"Well I let them form a miner's union and then they went on strike against me. How was I supposed to react to such ingratitude?" Villarroel huffed.
"But you can see why people might be anxious about questioning you?"
"Maybe." Villarroel grudgingly conceded. "So what are these concerns?"
"To begin with, your choice of Foreign Minister." Monje read the first item from the list.
"There is nothing wrong with Rafael Franco, he is eminently qualified!"
"He's a Paraguayan Colonel who seized power in a military coup and was so hated his own army launched another coup to force him into exile less than a year later."
"That proves his experience of high office and skills at rapidly arranging foreign travel."
"He's still in exile in Uruguay!" Monje raised his voice.
"I don't see the problem, he's a foreigner living in a foreign country. How could he be more qualified to be foreign minister?"
Monje sighed and moved on.
"There is the matter of Moritz Hochschild."
"The man is a traitor, the worst of the tin barons, he has openly called for a revolution and plotted against the me and my government." Villarroel declared. "He was pardoned by my predecessor after the last plot, but he has thrown that kindness back in our face. I will not be swayed by any petitions or request for leniency, he must face justice."
"If that is all true, why have you made him Minister of Security?"
Villarroel looked around before leaning in towards the baffled judge.
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." He whispered, before collapsing back into his chair.
"Even if they traitors you have condemned to death?"
"
Especially if they are traitors you have condemned to death." Villarroel nodded.
Monje looked down the list.
"The Assembly has doubts about your choice of commanders for the Bolivian armed forces."
Villarroel bristled. "I have chosen the very best men available, I have total confidence in their unparalleled ability."
"You brought back that German idiot Hans Kundt." Monje shook an accusatory finger. "We sacked him during the Chaco War because all he knew how to do were frontal assaults, and he couldn't even do them very well."
"He's learnt from the experience." Villarroel shifted in his seat. "I'm sure he will work well with Chief of Staff Busch as they prosecute the war with the Ecuadorian devils."
"Thank you for raising my next point, why did you appoint one of our unstable, multiple coup launching, ex-Presidents as Chief of Staff?"
"I believe Busch and Kundt have a great deal in common and will form an excellent team."
"A great deal in common? Like the fact they are both dead?" Monje glared.
"Yes! And they both died in 1939, so that's another thing they have in common." Villarroel beamed.
"You are just trying to stop anyone in the Army getting a higher rank than you. Your plan is to keep appointing corpses so you don't have to promote any living people." Monje accused.
The former Major Villarroel looked shifty and tried to change the subject.
"Surely they can have no complaint about the other armed forces appointments? David Toro will make a magnificent Chief of the Air Force."
"Your issuing of a pardon to ex-President Toro is not popular, he was exiled to Chile for a reason. In addition his only experience of aircraft is flying into exile under pain of death" Monje admonished.
"I haven't pardoned Toro for his part in his second coup."
"So you have appointed a Chief of the Air Force who isn't allowed into the country?" Monje called on his years of legal experience to avoid putting his head in his hands.
"The edict of exile remains valid, he still can't step foot onto Bolivian soil." Villarroel looked smug.
A look of horrified realisation crossed over Monje's face.
"My god. You are going to claim that flying doesn't count as 'stepping foot' aren't you? So as long as he stays in the air he's still technically in exile."
"It is an ingenious loophole." Villarroel contrived to look even smugger.
"That doesn't explain the Chief of the Navy." Monje hurriedly changed the subject.
"We don't have a navy or even a coastline, the Chief of the Navy is a honorary post, a sinecure." Villarroel waved his hand dismissively.
"That is all true, so why have you given it to a mining baron everyone hates?"
"While we advance the cause of Military Socialism to reform Bolivia, we must be pragmatic and include all views, including the mining interests, in the government." Villarroel tried, and failed, to look statesman like.
"Yes but Felix Aromyao died in 1929. You've given a job to a corpse. Again." Monje accused.
"He has been quiet in cabinet meetings, I thought he was just annoyed because I'd spelt his name wrong." Villarroel had the decency to look mildly embarrassed.
"Speaking of quiet people, the latest intelligence briefing to the Assembly was a disaster and they are requesting you replace the Intelligence Minister."
"I realised he would not be a popular choice, but I believe Bolivia needs a spy who is a master of industry. We depend upon Tin and so our efforts must be focused upon understanding how the world's factories stand so we can plan and prepare for changes in demand for Tin. Sadly I could not find a local candidate who could be trusted, certainly the Tin Barons had the knowledge but few would say they had the patriotism." Villarroel paused and drew himself up. "So I was again forced to look further afield to find a man with the experience, knowledge and reliability the position requires."
"That's all well and good, but it doesn't justify appointing a 19th Century Mexican diplomat."
Villarroel glared at the judge.
"You can't even bring his skeleton to cabinet, because he was exiled and buried in Paris. Why do you keep appointing people who have been exiled?" Monje asked suspiciously.
"I feel their desire for forgiveness will motivate them to do well." Villarroel replied. "It is never too late to seek redemption."
"Well it is too late for the dead." Monje flatly stated.
"Possibly some of them have left their bid for redemption a tad too late." Villarroel conceded. "Is that all?"
"There is just this letter of complaint from the Holy See." Monje passed over the crisp vellum.
"What problem can the Pope have with my cabinet?"
"The Holy Father is concerned that it is not appropriate for Archbishop Pierini to serve as your Armaments Minister."
"He is impressively obsessed with Tanks." Villarroel argued.
"If he was obsessed with tanks, which the Vatican dispute, that stopped in 1939."
"Because he saw the horrors of war as German Panzer threatened to end Christian Civilisation?" Villarroel asked.
"No, because he died." Monje explained slowly.
"I looked long and hard to find a tank obsessed archbishop to serve in my cabinet. So if you, or the Pope, think I'm going to let a little thing like him being long dead stop me you will be sorely disappointed." Villarroel said haughtily.
The two men stared at each other.
"I must warn you, if you keep this up someone is going to launch a coup." Monje threatened.
"This is Bolivia, there is always a coup!" Villaroel laughed. "Besides most of the country is distracted with the war with Ecuador, so I think I'll get away with it."
Monje left the laughing President and, head bowed, walked out of the office.
The impressively unique Bolivian Cabinet in all it's majesty.
--
Notes:
Where to begin with this one?
Gualberto Villarroel was indeed the 46th President of Bolivia and, best I can tell, also Head of the Government (constitutionally things are unclear as will become clear). He was from the proud tradition of "progressive Military-Socialist dictatorships" which Bolivia enjoyed for much of the early 20th century. As was traditional he was a junior(ish) officer who came to power in a coup. Like all Military-Socialist he as a bit odd, mixing progressive reforms on pensions, unions and workers rights with murdering anyone who looked at them funny or tried to use those rights in ways they didn't like. Got a bit murderously unhinged towards the end and was deposed in a coup before being strung up from a lamp post Mussolini style.
Yungas Road, also known as Death Road, was a stupidly dangerous road through the Bolivian mountains which killed 200/300 Bolivians a year due to it being fundamentally unsafe. You may, or may not, have seen it in the Top Gear Bolivian Special a few years back.
Bolivia was the land of coups at the time. There were successful coups in 1930, 1934, 1936, 1937, 1943, 1946, 1951 and 1952. Plus half a dozen more Unsuccessful ones. Most President tried to legitimise themselves and there were a lot of Constitutional Conventions/Assembles, so it was all a bit of a mess. This helps explains why there are so many ex-Presidents around the place. Speaking of which Thomas Monje was indeed head of the Bolivian Supreme Court and would be the next full-time President after Villarroel, appointed solely as someone who was trusted to arrange some elections before vanishing back into obscurity. Given Villarroel did like killing opponents, Monje seemed one of the few who could have that sort of chat with him, Monje did manage to die of old age and not be exiled - impressive achievements for a Bolivian President of the time.
Onto the cabinet;
- Rafael Franco Rafel - ex-President of Paraguay who seized power in a coup in 1936. Another Military-Socialist, so lots of money spent on re-building the armed forces, but also extra holiday, union rights, nationalisations and building hospitals. The taxes to pay for this were not popular, so there was a counter-coup in 1937 and he spent the next decade in exile in Uruguay. An odd choice.
- Moritz Hochschild - Tin Mining Baron and the Bolivian Schindler for all his work on helping to save Jews, paid for ~10,000 odd to escape Germany and helped them set up a new life in Bolivia. Sadly he did this while utterly screwing over his Bolivian workers and threatening to fund coups against any Bolivian government that tried to make him treat them fairly or pay any tax. Got arrested and sentenced to death twice for this (1939 and 1944), after being conditionally pardoned the second time he fled Bolivia never to return. Again, odd choice for Security Minister as at this point he is sitting on Bolivian Death Row and officially awaiting execution.
- German Busch - Colonel in the Bolivian Army and hero of the Chaco War (he won his bits, even as the rest of the Army lost the wider war badly.) Launched three separate coups, including one during the Chaco war, was President twice - first time was only for a few days as he handed over to David Toro, then a year later realised Toro was a liability so couped him and became President. 'Tempestuous and volatile' according to wiki. Utterly unhinged would also apply. Committed suicide in 1939 while President as he was enraged and depressed that a country was harder to reform than an army unit.
- Hans Kundt - German Colonel who got sent to Bolivia as part of a training mission. Bolivia liked him so called him back after WW1 to head up their army and be Minster of War. Sadly he was utterly useless. He was a decent staff officer who cared for his men, but he was crap at logistics, contemptuous of aerial recon (the one edge Bolivia actually had in the Chaco War), awful at strategy and beyond terrible at tactics, having seemingly learnt nothing at all during WW1 about the limits of front assaults against dug in machine guns. Sacked and deported from Bolivia in 1933, he died in 1939. So even if they wanted him back (and they never would) he was not available.
- Felix Aromyao (Paradox added an extra 'R' to his name, just to make researching him that bit harder) - Tin and Bismuth mining magnate. Just as influential and unpleasant as Hochschild, but without the redeeming features. Died in 1929 and not an obvious choice for Chief of the Navy, but then this is Bolivia so there are no historical option. In Paradox's defence he did like doing things off-shore (like putting his companies there to avoid tax) so there is that link.
- David Toro Ruilova - Another ex-President and another Colonel, a pattern is developing. As discussed above he was put into power by Busch in the1936 coup, then kicked out by Busch in the 1937 coup. Nationalised all the Standard Oil interests in the country (not much, but it was the thought that counted), but also had to cope with the country being bankrupt after losing the Chaco War. Couldn't reform fast enough for his allies, but was moving too fast for the previous elite, so everyone hated him. He attempted a counter coup against Buch in 1938, but this failed (because everyone hated him) and so he was exiled to Chile never to return. Zero air force experience, if any more reason were needed to declare him an odd choice.
- José María Gutiérrez - Mexican Diplomat who died in 1867. That is absolutely his photo Paradox have used. A fanatical monarchist he was kicked out of Mexico in 1840, but didn't let that slow him down. Eventually he became the link man between the Mexican conservatives and Napoleon III, being instrumental in making Maximilian Hapsburg the Mexican Emperor. This did not go well, which sums up Gutiérrez's career. A baffling choice even if he had been Foreign Minster. As an Industrial Specialist Minister of Intelligence.. I lack the words to describe his total lack of suitability.
- Francesco Pierini - Absolutely my favourite. Italian who ended up Archbishop of Sucre. Died in 1939, like so many of Bolivia's ministers. Views on tanks and mobile warfare doctrine - unclear. But if you can't appreciate the idea of a zombie Italian Archbishop muttering "Taaaaanks" in a Bolivian cabinet meeting, this probably isn't the AAR for you.
The notes are only just shorter than the actual update, and the entire thing is a bit of a beast. But we are now done and can leave South America to return to Europe and the actual war, Huzzah! *Hipflask toast* *Glug, glug, glug*
How about having the VP as the ‘Head of Government’?
