29th December 1944 - Peru
29th December 1944
We return, but not to frozen and forsaken Bratislava. Instead we go to South America where the Allies powers of that continent had banded together to form the Pan American Theatre Headquarters Expeditionary Troops Integrated Command. With that prestigious body due to meet in the New Year there are preparations to make. We begin in Lima where Prime Minister Sanchez had been summoned for a pre-cabinet meeting with the Peruvian President
"Sanchez, how are goes the war?" President Ugarteche asked.
"Not well, the foul monkeys of Ecuador still hold out." Prime Minister Sanchez replied.
"And relations with out Allies?"
"Much better." Sanchez beamed. "We had been concerned that the title of our military command was too long and no-one would use it, but we often hear the British and American call us PATHETIC so it must have caught on."
"Excellent. Is the Cabinet ready?"
Sanchez looked a bit unsure.
"Well as ready as they can be."
Sanchez and Ugarteche walked into the Cabinet Room. It contains a surprising number of skeletons.
"What the hell is going on?" Ugarteche asked.
"It's your cabinet."
"I know that, but who is that?" Ugarteche pointed at a gentlemen in white coat holding a clipboard.
"I am Doctor Montes from 'El Refugio'. Congress is concerned about the cabinet and has asked me to consult." Montes explained.
"I can't imagine why anyone from the national Aslyum for the Incurably Insane would be concerned about any of this." Ugarteche gestured at the cabinet. There was a small *crash* noise as some bones fell off one of the skeletons.
"Shall we begin with the civil side." Sanchez suggested.
"Alberto Ulloa Sotomayor is our Foreign Minister, he is a hard negotiator but these are hard times." Ugarteche pointed out the stern and brutish looking minister.
"I recognise the name, isn't he a Colónidaist poet?" Montes made a brief note.
"He was. But he has made a complete recovery since taking up Maritime and International Law." Ugarteche defended his minister against the foul accusation of being a post-modernist poet.
"I haven't reneged on exoticism for over 10 years." Sotomayor beamed proudly.
"We do find that the complexity of legal language is an excellent treatment for post-modernist poetry." Montes agreed.
"When looking for a Security Minister we were concerned about the possibility of a coup, so we wanted someone utterly trustworthy." Ugarteche explained his thinking as they moved onto the next chair.
"So you went for ex-President Luis Sánchez. A man who launched three separate coup attempts before finally seizing power himself." Montes made some more urgent notes.
"Well he's probably learnt his lesson by now." Sanchez squirmed.
"I find that unlikely, if nothing else he was shot dead back in '33 and that tends to limit your future learning opportunities." Montes carefully explained.
"Exactly! As a long dead corpse he is no position to lead a coup, making him the most trustworthy candidate." Ugarteche beamed widely, prompting further frantic note taking by Montes.
"There are no such issues around our head of Intelligence, Senor Farfan is a vibrant and energetic figure." Sanchez tried to move things along.
"I have often noted those properties in his work." Montes agreed. "But as much as I do admire his music, questions have been raised about the suitability of a composer for the role of Head of Peruvian Espionage."
"He has hidden depths." Ugartecher said enigmatically.
"Shall we move onto the military side." Sanchez tried to hurry things along.
"I of course recognise ex-President General Larrea, but your colleagues are less familiar." Montes greeted the Chief of the Army.
"You don't recognise former President Jimenez." Larrea gestured at the skeleton on his right.
"He has changed since his time in office." Ugartecher nodded considerately.
"He's got a lot thinner for starters." Sanchez agreed.
"Why is your naval opposite number wearing a kilt?" Montes hoped that the Socratic Method may yield some results. And if nothing else humouring them might keep them calm.
"That's not a kilt, it's a dress." Larrea said.
"We were honouring the widows request." Sanchez
After some desperately frantic scribbling Montes looked up.
"So those are the remains of former Prime Minister José de la Riva-Agüero?" He clarified.
"Yes. If you put aside his extreme fascism, transvestism and lack of any naval experience at all he is a perfect Chief of the Navy." Ugartecher said.
"Why is that skeleton wearing a beret?" Montes decided to rush through so he could leave.
"Do you remember back in 1920 the French tried to sell us some second hand Great War aircraft?" Ugartecher asked.
"Vaguely. It all ended in a disaster when one of the French pilots crashed his plane while trying to show off." Montes replied.
Ugartecher pointed at the skeleton.
"So that's the remains of the French pilot?"
"The very same. We made him Chief of the Air Force to serve as a warning to other pilots not to show off." Ugartecher explained.
"I think I've seen enough." Montes snapped his notebook shut. "I must warn you that what I've seen here confirms the worst fears of Congress."
Ugartecher and Sanchez exchange a worried look and then nodded.
"Of course doctor, that is between yourself and Congress." Ugartecher said.
"On an entirely unrelated point, you may have noticed there was no armaments minister in the cabinet. We have been reviewing various candidates, but none have measured up." Sanchez explained while walking to the drinks cabinet.
"However we have been impressed by your grasp of the problems and piercing intellect, so we'd like to offer you the role." Ugartecher told the shocked doctor.
"Make no mistake, this will be an arduous role. The lucrative salary is barely adequate re-numeration for the work involved. So much travel and fine dining with foreign armaments company." Sanchez offered a glass containing a generous shot of well aged whisky to the doctor.
"Worse we are required to 'take care' of the salary of those cabinet members who are unable to collect their money." Ugartecher sighed at the thought of that onerous burden..
"Would I be allowed to divert far too much of the military budget towards Submarines?" Montes asked the decisive question.
"Of course!" Ugartecher beamed. "Welcome aboard."
"Now about your report." Sanchez asked.
"As I said, it will confirms the worst fears of Congress. The fear that Congress are wasting everyone's time complaining about the President and are basically unfit for power." Montes declared.
"So you would support me scrapping the elections?" Ugartecher asked.
"Of course! Why take the risk that the electorate would break up such a perfect team." Montes enthusiastically nodded.
The Peruvian Government in all it's magnificence. A good 60% of them are even alive, what more could any country ask for.
--
Notes:
All genuine ministers. I may have picked the best (worst) choices for a couple of them, but all legitimate options for Peru.
Not quite sure how Peru ended up a Right-Wing dictatorship, at the time it was a mostly functioning democracy and would be until the 1962 Coup. Bonus incompetence - at this point Paradox claim Peru is Paternal Autocrat (the light grey one) under the Partido Civil. The Partido Civil was (a) anti-military, centre-left (ish) and (b) dissolved and declared illegal in 1930. Double Bonus Incompetence - The President's party Acción Popular was only founded in 1956. Paradox did at least get the names of the HoG and HoS correct.
For the rest;
We return, but not to frozen and forsaken Bratislava. Instead we go to South America where the Allies powers of that continent had banded together to form the Pan American Theatre Headquarters Expeditionary Troops Integrated Command. With that prestigious body due to meet in the New Year there are preparations to make. We begin in Lima where Prime Minister Sanchez had been summoned for a pre-cabinet meeting with the Peruvian President
"Sanchez, how are goes the war?" President Ugarteche asked.
"Not well, the foul monkeys of Ecuador still hold out." Prime Minister Sanchez replied.
"And relations with out Allies?"
"Much better." Sanchez beamed. "We had been concerned that the title of our military command was too long and no-one would use it, but we often hear the British and American call us PATHETIC so it must have caught on."
"Excellent. Is the Cabinet ready?"
Sanchez looked a bit unsure.
"Well as ready as they can be."
Sanchez and Ugarteche walked into the Cabinet Room. It contains a surprising number of skeletons.
"What the hell is going on?" Ugarteche asked.
"It's your cabinet."
"I know that, but who is that?" Ugarteche pointed at a gentlemen in white coat holding a clipboard.
"I am Doctor Montes from 'El Refugio'. Congress is concerned about the cabinet and has asked me to consult." Montes explained.
"I can't imagine why anyone from the national Aslyum for the Incurably Insane would be concerned about any of this." Ugarteche gestured at the cabinet. There was a small *crash* noise as some bones fell off one of the skeletons.
"Shall we begin with the civil side." Sanchez suggested.
"Alberto Ulloa Sotomayor is our Foreign Minister, he is a hard negotiator but these are hard times." Ugarteche pointed out the stern and brutish looking minister.
"I recognise the name, isn't he a Colónidaist poet?" Montes made a brief note.
"He was. But he has made a complete recovery since taking up Maritime and International Law." Ugarteche defended his minister against the foul accusation of being a post-modernist poet.
"I haven't reneged on exoticism for over 10 years." Sotomayor beamed proudly.
"We do find that the complexity of legal language is an excellent treatment for post-modernist poetry." Montes agreed.
"When looking for a Security Minister we were concerned about the possibility of a coup, so we wanted someone utterly trustworthy." Ugarteche explained his thinking as they moved onto the next chair.
"So you went for ex-President Luis Sánchez. A man who launched three separate coup attempts before finally seizing power himself." Montes made some more urgent notes.
"Well he's probably learnt his lesson by now." Sanchez squirmed.
"I find that unlikely, if nothing else he was shot dead back in '33 and that tends to limit your future learning opportunities." Montes carefully explained.
"Exactly! As a long dead corpse he is no position to lead a coup, making him the most trustworthy candidate." Ugarteche beamed widely, prompting further frantic note taking by Montes.
"There are no such issues around our head of Intelligence, Senor Farfan is a vibrant and energetic figure." Sanchez tried to move things along.
"I have often noted those properties in his work." Montes agreed. "But as much as I do admire his music, questions have been raised about the suitability of a composer for the role of Head of Peruvian Espionage."
"He has hidden depths." Ugartecher said enigmatically.
"Shall we move onto the military side." Sanchez tried to hurry things along.
"I of course recognise ex-President General Larrea, but your colleagues are less familiar." Montes greeted the Chief of the Army.
"You don't recognise former President Jimenez." Larrea gestured at the skeleton on his right.
"He has changed since his time in office." Ugartecher nodded considerately.
"He's got a lot thinner for starters." Sanchez agreed.
"Why is your naval opposite number wearing a kilt?" Montes hoped that the Socratic Method may yield some results. And if nothing else humouring them might keep them calm.
"That's not a kilt, it's a dress." Larrea said.
"We were honouring the widows request." Sanchez
After some desperately frantic scribbling Montes looked up.
"So those are the remains of former Prime Minister José de la Riva-Agüero?" He clarified.
"Yes. If you put aside his extreme fascism, transvestism and lack of any naval experience at all he is a perfect Chief of the Navy." Ugartecher said.
"Why is that skeleton wearing a beret?" Montes decided to rush through so he could leave.
"Do you remember back in 1920 the French tried to sell us some second hand Great War aircraft?" Ugartecher asked.
"Vaguely. It all ended in a disaster when one of the French pilots crashed his plane while trying to show off." Montes replied.
Ugartecher pointed at the skeleton.
"So that's the remains of the French pilot?"
"The very same. We made him Chief of the Air Force to serve as a warning to other pilots not to show off." Ugartecher explained.
"I think I've seen enough." Montes snapped his notebook shut. "I must warn you that what I've seen here confirms the worst fears of Congress."
Ugartecher and Sanchez exchange a worried look and then nodded.
"Of course doctor, that is between yourself and Congress." Ugartecher said.
"On an entirely unrelated point, you may have noticed there was no armaments minister in the cabinet. We have been reviewing various candidates, but none have measured up." Sanchez explained while walking to the drinks cabinet.
"However we have been impressed by your grasp of the problems and piercing intellect, so we'd like to offer you the role." Ugartecher told the shocked doctor.
"Make no mistake, this will be an arduous role. The lucrative salary is barely adequate re-numeration for the work involved. So much travel and fine dining with foreign armaments company." Sanchez offered a glass containing a generous shot of well aged whisky to the doctor.
"Worse we are required to 'take care' of the salary of those cabinet members who are unable to collect their money." Ugartecher sighed at the thought of that onerous burden..
"Would I be allowed to divert far too much of the military budget towards Submarines?" Montes asked the decisive question.
"Of course!" Ugartecher beamed. "Welcome aboard."
"Now about your report." Sanchez asked.
"As I said, it will confirms the worst fears of Congress. The fear that Congress are wasting everyone's time complaining about the President and are basically unfit for power." Montes declared.
"So you would support me scrapping the elections?" Ugartecher asked.
"Of course! Why take the risk that the electorate would break up such a perfect team." Montes enthusiastically nodded.
The Peruvian Government in all it's magnificence. A good 60% of them are even alive, what more could any country ask for.
--
Notes:
All genuine ministers. I may have picked the best (worst) choices for a couple of them, but all legitimate options for Peru.
Not quite sure how Peru ended up a Right-Wing dictatorship, at the time it was a mostly functioning democracy and would be until the 1962 Coup. Bonus incompetence - at this point Paradox claim Peru is Paternal Autocrat (the light grey one) under the Partido Civil. The Partido Civil was (a) anti-military, centre-left (ish) and (b) dissolved and declared illegal in 1930. Double Bonus Incompetence - The President's party Acción Popular was only founded in 1956. Paradox did at least get the names of the HoG and HoS correct.
For the rest;
- Paul de Beaudiez - French airforce captain. Part of France's (failed) mission to sell aircraft and training skills to Peru, Crashed in Peru in 1920 in a Caudron G.III he was attempting to show off in.
- José de la Riva-Agüero - Former Prime Minister of Peru. Went utterly fascist Transvestite. Died in October 1944
- Óscar Raymundo Benavides Larrea - Ex-president of Peru and former General. Decent enough choice as CoA, except for the whole ex-President issue
- Gustavo Jimenez - Temporary President of the Preuvian Junta for a week before handing over to Sanchze. Died in 1933
- Benigno Ballón Farfán - Genuinely famous Preuvian Composer who was alive at the time. His works were declared part of the "Cultural Patrimony of the Nation of Peru". Never worked in intelligence or the government in any capacity
- Luis Miguel Sánchez Cerro - Joined his first coup when only 15 (lost three fingers on his hand grabbing a firing machine gun, which he turned against loyalist troops). Second coup 7 years later in 1921, also got shot but this coup was unsuccessful. Joined the Spanish Foreign Legion (got shot). Organised 3rd coup in 1930 against the dictatorship of the time and won. Then got kicked out by the rest of the Junta after 6 months and went into exile. Junta then organised fresh elections a couple of years later, which Sanchez (maybe) won. Then got assassinated in 1933. Very interesting chap. Very dead, even in 1936
- Alberto Ulloa Sotomayor - Peruvian Jurist and world renowned expert in International Law. Was indeed a post-modernist poet in his youth, but gave it up to study the law. Was legitimately Peruvian Foreign Minister at various points. Believed sincerely in the primacy of law and the very opposite of an iron-fisted brute though..
- Oscar Trelles Montes - Peruvian Doctor who genuintely ran a mental hospital called the "asylum of incurables". In fairness was Minister for Health in 1945 and did get other government jobs in the 1960s. Actual view on Submarines, unknown.
