-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
I suppose that, yes, this does technically qualify as the last time we shall ever return to Bratislava. Still, a bit of a knicker-twister, no? 
We have more time on our hands in these 'iso' days ... so I tested to see if it was possible for Slovakia to research Teleporter tech by 11 March 1945, starting in the Götterdämmerung scenario. It is, if you concentrate on doing nothing else other than researching electrical engineering to the required level and then Teleporter.
To get there, all I did was start the scenario as Slovakia, normal difficulty, and do nothing else until March 1945. In this very quick (max speed) run through, the Allied invasion of Europe was quickly eliminated (Operation Over-run), Italy contained and rolled back a little, with the only other Allied invasion effort a small landing in Oslo in Feb 45. The Soviets were having some trouble rolling the Germans back, as a result. Slovakia remains intact.
My question: what have Tiso & Tuka and Slovakia done in TTL to so badly undermine the Axis war effort? The collapse of the Reich is all their fault, it seems. It is only fitting they be made to present themselves in Berlin for a thorough accounting in one of those Nazi show trials. Just use the console command 'Canaris' to unlock the event ...
My question: what have Tiso & Tuka and Slovakia done in TTL to so badly undermine the Axis war effort?
The collapse of the Reich is all their fault, it seems. It is only fitting they be made to present themselves in Berlin for a thorough accounting in one of those Nazi show trials. Just use the console command 'Canaris' to unlock the event ... 
Their defeat was perhaps overdetermined, but that was always the point. And as much as I have a soft spot for Pruzinksy there is a limit to even his skills.
I admit I was really pleased with myself when I came up with it.
I fear I may have made that joke too many times before and I think the conclusion was Clotted.
There is more (and less) to the teleporter than meets the eye. All will be clear before the end.
Well they are, just in a different way.
That was rather the point.I suppose that, yes, this does technically qualify as the last time we shall ever return to Bratislava. Still, a bit of a knicker-twister, no?
Top modding.We have more time on our hands in these 'iso' days ... so I tested to see if it was possible for Slovakia to research Teleporter tech by 11 March 1945, starting in the Götterdämmerung scenario. It is, if you concentrate on doing nothing else other than researching electrical engineering to the required level and then Teleporter.
As I said in the very first post I did a little modding to the game because Paradox left the scenario badly broken. As you noticed D-Day gets wiped out very quickly in vanilla, that's because the invasion force starts out of supply and has no ports so can never resupply. Hence the Germans, who are suffering none of the fuel/resource/logistics problems of OTL, can easily roll over them.My question: what have Tiso & Tuka and Slovakia done in TTL to so badly undermine the Axis war effort?
To fix this I modded in some ports (to represent Mulberry harbours, PLUTO, etc) and put all the troops back in supply. I also played as the British for the first crucial couple of days so their massive naval and air supremacy was used to support the invasion, not sent to patrol Mauritius or whatever else the AI would do (amazing the difference a bit of shore bombardment makes
). This success panicked the AI which rushed everything over to France to stop the invasion, which worked to an extent (the Allied progress through France was much slower than OTL) at the cost of leaving Italy and the southern bit of the Eastern Front under-manned, with the consequences we all saw.Overall I am unsure if Paradox just didn't play test the 44 scenario, did play test it but only from the German side or did test it but couldn't be arsed to fix the bugs. I'd guess second option, because Germany is in general better polished in HOI games (Paradox know their target market), but it could easily be either of the other options instead.
Wow, did not expect this AAR to take a sci-fi turn even if it is based on coal
- 1
Ah, I kind of almost remember that, but hope you will excuse my lack of recollection given how long ago I would have read that!
Very well done, otherwise the defeat would not have been inevitable - or would have come around the time Martin Bormann’s successor as Fuhrer was getting on a bit! I will unpause that test game and let it run to see what happens, out of curiosity.
Excellent research! One can imagine T&T and their dysfunctional government setting like a glob of mouldy bryndza to the bottom of a rustically decorated wooden cup of žinčica that was some days past its use by date!
Of course. Why surrender when you can teleport away?
Maybe defeat wasn't that inevitable after all...
Maybe defeat wasn't that inevitable after all...
Excellent Slovak dairy research. This being T&T we can assume it would be žinčica which absolutely looks worse.
It is an amazingly bad fake beard and the moustache is not much better. The overall effect is of a 15 year old unconvincingly disguised while trying to purchase some beer.
Like any good -punk genre there is an exciting degree of mixing in this AAR.
Pruzinksy would be saddened to hear you speak like this.
It was barely 9 years ago I started this, it is a thrusting young buck of an El Pip AAR. But I suppose for people who follow at normal timescales that is a bit of a long time back to remember things.Ah, I kind of almost remember that, but hope you will excuse my lack of recollection given how long ago I would have read that!
I will unpause that test game and let it run to see what happens, out of curiosity.
Nah, I played the game in fairly long chunks to avoid that sort of problem. This is just terrible scenario design from Paradox I think.I guess it would be all the 200 reloads in the AAR that makes the difference
Not all is as it seems with the teleporter...
Not even that.
I thought Evitable was a synonym for behaving in the manner of a Evita (buying lots of furs and shoes while inflation sky rockets and your husband imports a lot of Nazis and rigs elections). You learn something every day.
And on that educational note let us return, but not to Bratislava...!
13th March 1945.
13th March 1945.
Upon arriving in Berlin the second thing Tiso did was call an emergency cabinet meeting, to understand the new situation the Slovak leadership found itself in. The first thing he did was to confirm the hipflask reserves had safely arrived, because he had his priorities in the correct order.
"What is on the agenda Fritz?" Tiso asked.
"Some bad news and some odd news. But I'm afraid we must first begin with some catastrophic news." Fritz answered.
Tiso looked duly concerned.
"Due to the relocation the Slovak General Staff are allowed another Map of Many Things." Fritz continued.
Tiso started eyeing up the nearest exit.
"Fortunately they have obtained a German map, but I must warn you it is still terrible." Fritz finished, handing over the item in question.
The OKW estimated that 142,000 staff officer-hours were lost each month trying to decipher overly Germanic fonts on maps. The font remained in use until the end of the war, because the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was spreading the myth of German efficiency.
"The Allies are getting quite close to Berlin then?" Tuka interpreted the map.
"The OKW believes the decisive battle to defeat the Allies and hurl them out of the capital will occur in less than three weeks." Baron Von Killinger agreed. "Truly we are lucky to be present for such a singular opportunity to die heroically pointless deaths for the Fuhrer." He sighed.
"Fortunately that covers the bad news, which leaves only the odd news." Fritz gestured at General Kubela.
"As we are now in Berlin communications with the Germans have improved no end and we can now give you a report on other fronts." Kubela beamed proudly.
"We have therefore been able to determine the Finnish Front is going badly in an odd way." General G. Malar said
Yes those are British divisions wearing Communist Yugoslavian uniforms pushing into Central Finland. Why do you ask?
"Is there any other news?" Tiso asked.
"Nothing of any importance." Firtz said confidently.
Assistant-Pro Tempore-Vice Minister for Foreign Affairs looked at his telegrams and (correctly) decided to say nothing.
The Honduran Government is, of course, catastrophically wrong, but in ways too boring for me to even be bothered to type up.
--
Notes:
The Slovaks settle into Berlin and realise that their doom, while delayed, remains inevitable.
Upon arriving in Berlin the second thing Tiso did was call an emergency cabinet meeting, to understand the new situation the Slovak leadership found itself in. The first thing he did was to confirm the hipflask reserves had safely arrived, because he had his priorities in the correct order.
"What is on the agenda Fritz?" Tiso asked.
"Some bad news and some odd news. But I'm afraid we must first begin with some catastrophic news." Fritz answered.
Tiso looked duly concerned.
"Due to the relocation the Slovak General Staff are allowed another Map of Many Things." Fritz continued.
Tiso started eyeing up the nearest exit.
"Fortunately they have obtained a German map, but I must warn you it is still terrible." Fritz finished, handing over the item in question.
The OKW estimated that 142,000 staff officer-hours were lost each month trying to decipher overly Germanic fonts on maps. The font remained in use until the end of the war, because the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was spreading the myth of German efficiency.
"The Allies are getting quite close to Berlin then?" Tuka interpreted the map.
"The OKW believes the decisive battle to defeat the Allies and hurl them out of the capital will occur in less than three weeks." Baron Von Killinger agreed. "Truly we are lucky to be present for such a singular opportunity to die heroically pointless deaths for the Fuhrer." He sighed.
"Fortunately that covers the bad news, which leaves only the odd news." Fritz gestured at General Kubela.
"As we are now in Berlin communications with the Germans have improved no end and we can now give you a report on other fronts." Kubela beamed proudly.
"We have therefore been able to determine the Finnish Front is going badly in an odd way." General G. Malar said
Yes those are British divisions wearing Communist Yugoslavian uniforms pushing into Central Finland. Why do you ask?
"Is there any other news?" Tiso asked.
"Nothing of any importance." Firtz said confidently.
Assistant-Pro Tempore-Vice Minister for Foreign Affairs looked at his telegrams and (correctly) decided to say nothing.
The Honduran Government is, of course, catastrophically wrong, but in ways too boring for me to even be bothered to type up.
--
Notes:
The Slovaks settle into Berlin and realise that their doom, while delayed, remains inevitable.
- 1
That is a relief. They want to be thoroughly drunk by the time they are arrested by whichever power takes Berlin. If it’s the Soviets, they’d be better off joining Hitler in his Fuhrerdammerung. Because although they may be insignificant in the greater scheme of things, the Soviets just don’t miss details like that. Especially under Stalin. They have so much prior experience doing it to their own people. If it’s the Allies, they’d have an outside chance of slipping away, unrecognised. Or recognised and ignored until years later when a Nazi-hunter or documentary maker discovers and catches up with them.
One would ask, if there was the faintest chance of receiving any sensible answer. Given that chance is virtually zero, we’ll just chuckle and move on.
Why are all these minor nations constantly ringing up Slovakia to tell them about random domestic occurrences? Did someone at some point get their wires crossed or did they all agree to kick the underdog of underdogs just to feel superior about something?