Wow, always nice to see the AI manage a reformation!
Well, maybe not so nice for our burgeoning kingdom...
Well, maybe not so nice for our burgeoning kingdom...
Lancaster: The King in the North
- Thread starter TheButterflyComposer
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They aren't really the ones to worry about, even though I was because it means more planned invasions of the island. Western Europe has far graver threats than resurgent pagan kingdoms on their doorstep, though the pagans do take down one significant Christian kingdom in their time. Two if you count what happens on the island.
Chapter 14: Lancaster takes Anglesey
Chapter 14: Lancaster takes Anglesey
The new year began with yet more power broker and marriage contracts. The south, ostensibly united under Offa’s Peace, was fractured once again into various independent realms. Of these, Wigberht was most interested in Essex, or rather, their grand city of London in the county of Middlesex. London was, like Chester, an old Roman town of great walls and buildings, but unlike the northern city, lay on a large and important trading river: the Thames. London was far from the most important city within the south, but it was one of the wealthiest, and most independent, things Lancaster dearly prized. Even better, the countess was a young girl suitable for marriage, a match deemed so priceless that it was I who was initially going to wed the lady. This in the end did not occur but relations with the city were established, and Middlesex would be of great interest to our family, as one can never trust Mercia.
The Frankish Empire remained strong but beneath the surface, fractures were beginning to appear. This was apparent with the regency council’s indecision on which crown within the three kingdoms would be primary, with West Francia, or France, eventually chosen. Eadraed, the new king, was to have a long regency ahead, which was hardly ideal for a realm in crisis with enemies at the gates. Wigberht could do little aside from offer a marriage, which nominally at least tied two halves of the family together. I suspect however that before this is all over, we shall come to regret going into France. The whole place seems, and indeed was, very unstable.
The continent was not our family’s main concern however, Anglesey was. Trade was beginning to flow into Lancaster’s ports from across the Irish Sea, yet Welsh pirates were causing increasing issue. Whilst the rest of the Briton and welsh lords would be put to task handling this problem in their own regions eventually, Wigberht saw and knew he could extend his grasp directly around the north coastline. Relations with the commoners and peasantry in the region was already quite good, for various reasons many of our commanders, builders and advisors came from those lands after the previous war against Anglesey. Direct conquest was thus quite popular with these fine people, and the Bear Guard was sure to gain further loyalty and prestige to our rule. Their king was unpopular for moving against the remaining Beowulf lords in the first place, though his army was again, a little larger than our own forces. This would have been a concern if not for events in Warwick.
Mercia had been slowly rebuilding itself in strength for some time, though it must be said our succession was not such a blow to the kings as we might like to think. The king was though quite weak personally, a tricky thing for a realm built on submission to operate. Warwick especially grated under such leadership, having never truly forgiven Offa’s line for the murder of one of their own, a child no less. Thus, they launched a major revolt that year, as our friends in Middlesex reported great panic and shock from the southlands Mercia demanded tribute from. Whilst we in the north did not hold out much hope for the end of that putrid kingdom altogether, it was a welcome distraction from our own campaign. We could safely send everything against the Welsh.
Whilst we were outnumbered by several hundred men, we had received trusted word that London was coming to our aid, so the Earl marched his forces west. He had built a significant war chest of gold to pay for the campaign, and could if needs be pay for a whole army of reinforcements should it come down to it. He was a wise ruler indeed, if not the greatest military mind.
I say that, not in disdain but admiration of his piety, for he took time and money still to support his Church and sect. Our realm was attracting more and more religious pilgrims, relics and tomes that required safe keeping and housing. He, in his wisdom, paid out great sums for this purpose, and celebrated their arrival around the city. As Lancaster relied heavily on great swarms of immigrants to grow and survive, this was a very timely and needed approach, and allowed us to grow and prosper even in the middle of a war.
But the war, of course! And it was a true battle of allies against a singular foe. At dawn our army met the Welsh at Denbigh, and by Noon the Londoners had arrived to reinforce our flanks. Word reached us also that week that the French had arrived in force on the isle of Anglesey, trapping the Briton army on the mainland.
The series of battles ended with a clear victory. Less than four score of our men had fallen to their four hundred. The enemy were trapped in our new county of Rhos, between our and the French armies.
The war was effectively over, and the Welsh recognised it, handing over their land to us before withdrawing back to their small island. Lancaster had nearly doubled in size, and secured the coast for our own. The good times continued as news of King Ecgfrith’s death reached us, and the rebellion still continued. His son, also of his name, now faced the revolt without command of his father’s tributes, but his own men alone. He was also suspected of already being riddled by some ghastly illness of God’s own choosing.
T’was not all good though in our fair isles, for in the north, we were concerned when hundreds of men began massing along our border. Northumbria was not attacking as feared, far from it. They themselves were being fought, by a great and terrible heathen army from across the icy eastern sea. The king, Elfwald, a good and pious man, begged our aid in his defence, but after our own battles we had little desire to send men. Wigberht instead sent five chests overladen with gold to York, and bade the southern lords know that they might wish to help their former masters in the North, lest it be overtaken by infidel. The Archbishop of Canterbury, diminished these many years by Offa and Mercian dominance, arose a great fervour amongst the free peoples of the southlands, and altogether I believe a good ten thousand men eventually stood strong against the numberless Norsemen hordes.
Worrying news came also from the departing Franks, who said in hushed voices that Iberia had fallen utterly to the heathens in several bloody invasions, and that they themselves were being rushed south to the mountains. Alas! They were all too correct on both accounts, for what good it did those brave men.
Wigberht, triumphant in northern Briton lands, cast his eyes south once again. The pirate raids were much diminished, but not halted. But between their bases and Lancaster lay many, many mountains, hills, valleys, and altogether a mess of country to march through. Rather than risk his entire realm and fortune on an altogether unlikely campaign of conquest, the Earl decided to take heed of Mercia and Northumbria before him and subjugate the lands through tributary instead. Each welsh lord and king would be made to bow before Lancaster’s might and pay their dues, in exchange for essential security, and an eventual unifying system of law in their lands. In the end, this strategy was most successful and we would be wise to remember that in the years ahead, it is far easier to dominate briefly and then befriend rather than enslave and try the same.
There were four realms to be subjugated in this manner. Powys was already under our thumb, which left three Welsh princes to deal with and the sole Saxon count within reach. Hwicce, whom had lost in their time almost their entire realm to Mercian expansion, and were in the midst of full absorption upon Offa’s death, now stood alone amidst a sea of giants. Wigberth was determined to stake full claim over the welsh lands as his, and leave under no uncertain terms that Mercia could no longer look westwards for expansion. In that aim, Hwicce, the furthest land from us, would have to be brought into the fold first, whilst Mercia remained distracted by civil unrest.
The Saxons, overconfident despite their situation, marched on us and met our army at Halton, near the venerable bishop’s residence. As we outnumbered them two to every man, it was not much of a battle for us, and quickly the Saxons saw reason and withdrew, recognising their overlords as they should. Lancaster was on the warpath once more, and this time our prize would be the entirety of Wales.
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That does look like quite a strong Mercia and, with France otherwise preoccupied, it looks like it'll be hard to gain allies to counter it.
I see the martial nature of the narrator shining through. I expect some Norse bashing in the next decades.
A good acquisition overall. Hopefully this long coastline won't attract too many raiders.
That will certainly change up the game in Britain. I wonder how the Norse will fit into the balance of power on the island. I fear they might tip it over.
Ah, there it is! And so the stage is set for the eventual Crusade for Aquitaine.
Might we have a Saxon king of Wales one day?
I learnt from my last few Charlemagne start date games. I didn't call France into anything until a few decades in, to give them time to build some ports because they start with practically nothing. They do show up a few times, probably too enthusiastically as we'll see.
Certainly. I finally got an excuse to do something outsdie of Wales.
Initial goals for this AAR were to secure Lancaster, Anglesey/Gwyned, and the Isle of Man for a nice looking, decent sized realm. Further plans were to go into Yorkshire and take that too, and tribute the rest of Wales until we're given good reason to expand out. So the earldom at the moment looks really nice and I still actually quite rich, due to build and laws, but quite low on men. Pretty perfect little minor power to be honest, which is what I was going for.
As for raiders, they were fairly mild in the firstborn few decades. Far less troublesome than actual invasion attempts of various Saxon kingdoms by pagans.
They certainly try. Most games see either Northumbria or Scotland got worn down and taken by pagans at some point, which they do try here. However, this game is more surprising than usual, once again.
There is indeed an eventual crusade planned for Aquitaine. And then the Lancasters hijack it for their own ends.
I'm actually trying to be alt-historical here so whilst Lancaster (duchy and eventual kingdom) will exist, I want to try to make my own kingdom in the north, that will try to absorb Wales and anywhere else it can into it rather than being made up of four unified kingdoms. All will be one under Lancaster!
But yeah, in practice, most of Wales is Anglo-Saxon by 1000AD. As are some other weird places. Like Barcelona. And Rome.
Chapter 15: The Marvellous Adventures of Secret, the Great Bear Spy
Chapter 15: The Marvellous Adventures of Secret, the Great Bear Spy
Our story begins, as many do, in a small farmstead in North Wales. A young cub was born to a good bear family, poor as they were. He would chafe under such a limited life however and strike out on his own to seek his fortune. He found it in Denbigh, a town in crisis. The marauding Welsh and Lancaster armies were fighting all across the land, the people were afraid and a hero was needed. Enter our young bear, now calling himself Secret. He took charge of the town’s defence, rallied the people (under threat of being eaten) to his banner and not only defeated the local bandit groups but pushed out the Anglesey garrison as well, making the town fully independent.
Enraptured by their saviour, they elected him king, but Secret was a humble bear, and accepted only the democratically elected title of Mayor, to be held only for two terms maximum as decreed by the constitution (which he wrote in an hour) that clearly defined the mandate of the office and separation of powers into a judicial, fair and liberal system not at all unlike that which you might find in any decent place. He then rebuilt the town into a city with his bear hands, creating both a large marketplace and heavy-duty stone wall surrounding the local farmsteads, church and aforementioned market. It was also at this time that he was baptised (once the priest worked up the courage to pour cold water over his head) on the understanding that clearly some deity was at work here and presumably needed to be kept happy.
And so, for a year and a day (or thereabouts), the Good Bear Mayor ruled the city well and wisely, and everybody was happy. Very happy. Tears upset Secret. Anyway, eventually the Lancasters arrived in the area and began submitting the local settlements to their will. They were quite surprised to find a large walled city where a fishing village was supposed to be, and even more surprised when the mighty gates opened and Secret was carried out in a golden throne by some unfortunate (presumably quite strong) serfs. High diplomacy was not Secret’s strongest suite but he made a good go of it anyway, essentially securing Lancaster’s rule over the city peacefully without his own gig being ruined by other bears that could actually fight back.
The Good Bear Mayor ruled out his two terms in office peacefully and without fuss, save for when the latrine pit needed to be emptied. As it happened, Old Earl Wigberht was looking for a new councillor about the time Secret showed up at his court begging for a job and a place to put his vast riches. Fortunately for Secret such a place was found within Lancaster (with some difficulty) and he settled into his new position as Spymaster. He had no prior experience or interest in being an intelligence operative but considering the name, he supposed he should give it a go at least once. That and it gave him a chance to leave the city often on business, something he greatly desired as the local Bear Guard community found him to be weird.
And so, our hero eventually found himself travelling across Europe, spying on nearly every court you can name, and all of the other ones as well. In Paris he was given flowers. Then after he killed that guy they gave him booze as well. In Rome, the Pope taught him how to play cards, and how to run a brothel, some say in the same action-packed evening. It is in Constantinople however that his legend runs greatest. Having accidentally drunk a barrel of Greek Fire rather than whiskey, the court was obliged to both redecorate the palace (kickstarting a new wave of art and culture across the world) and also to try and murder this bear that kept breaking into secure rooms and drinking things. As you might expect, it is quite hard to kill a polar bear with a remarkable toxicity tolerance gained after a lifetime of sin and excess. Since he was also an ambassador an diplomat as well as a spy (no one really bothered with spies when they figured out everyone had to take diplomats in anyway), they also had to try to be polite at all times, to save face.
In retrospect, the gigantic explosion which wiped out the Imperial dockyards and sank the Black Sea Fleet was clearly just begging to happen given all above, and so must be blamed mostly on the Romans. For some reason, Secret was forced out the city soon afterwards however, and wandered around the Greek islands for a time before becoming addicted to Ancient Greek, and having to go back to Rome for a detox. His great friend the Pope was wonderful about the whole thing however, and Rome’s night-time economy tripled in the three months the friends were together.
All good things come to an end however, and the Lancaster envoy to the Vatican eventually got through to remind Secret he was still being paid, so had better have something to show for it. He thus decided to steal two castles in the Italian Alps for the Earl, since he thought they looked pretty. Whilst performing a cunning scheme of blackmail and economic ruin, Secret also found time to learn how to ski, more impressive when you realise, he invented the practice.
Returning home to a muted welcome, as it was half past one in the morning, Secret dumped his stolen castles in the courtyard before going off to bed. Stern words were had in the morning however and the Earl made him put them back, with an apology, though Lancaster still kept ownership of them, of course. These castles would go on to be a constant thorn in the family’s side for decades until finally someone had the good sense to sell them to some sucker in Italy.
Secret though was in trouble. He had caused dire diplomatic trouble for the Lancasters, exploded Constantinople, fully corrupted the Papacy, caused two horrific boughts of border gore in the Alps, and racked up so much debt over his escapades that not only did he lose his vast riches but the Lancaster’s had to bail him out, something they hated doing more than admitting that maybe having a Bear acting as their ambassador to the world was a terrible idea. In his favour, however, was the fact he was in fact a bear called Secret, which meant he was always going to keep his job. He was pretty much confined to Lancaster for the next few years though, and the Bear Guard took it upon themselves to chastise their comrade for being such an apparent disgrace to Bearkind everywhere.
An even more humble and wise Secret emerged from this fiasco, and he returned to his own city to rule as Mayor once again (as it turned out, the city had thrown out his constitution when he left and went back to being ruled by a noble oligarchy). At 33, which was one more year than Christ ever managed, the future seemed bright, and warm, and fluffy and white, and bear-shaped.
And the adventure continues…
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I'm hoping you just go off and sack some random Christian city, Rome ideally.
*slow clap* This entire chapter was a masterpiece.
No better way to motivate people!
I assume it was all dictated, otherwise a constitution written with bear hands would just be a gash on a piece of paper.
I'll see if I can bear these puns.
I lost it at this point. Bravo!
I mean, what's the point in being pope if you can't have a drunken night out with a Polar Bear. I've heard tale that a jackass and a honeycomb might have been involved in the evening.
Truly this is the greatest crime of them all...
I'm anxious to find out how the Secret History continues.
Yeah I tried to be clever and use it to mass holy war some land but then the pope outswizzled me. Presumably in revenge.
...
Ok so Secret is my favourite character that CKII has given me so far (Cosma being the favourite char of mine). This bear came into my realm at the end of the last Anglesey war and was immediately put in charge of spymastery. As I've said before, this game is ironman and no chesting has been done. He genuinely is called Secret.
Had to figure out some way of putting him in without getting in the way of everything else. So here's everything he was involved in-game plus some backstory. Yes, it was around this time we did inherit two random castles in the alps, get great relations with the papacy (they all became anglosaxon after that) and ruin things with the Byzantines.
I'm not sure whether he could speak either. He associated primarily with illiterate peasents and drunken nobles so it's suprisingly hard to tell.
Why not indeed?
Most annoying one anyway. Came in useful exactly once, I think.
Not for much longer I'm afriad. Bears don't live very long after all.
Yeah I'm glad it went down well because I was at a loss how to use him otherwise.
. The Bear Guard may be strong, but otherwise unremarkable; Secret is anything but.I'm guessing plenty of cardinals were involved in his orgies with the pope, so that their vote has been won over for the Anglo-Saxons
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I'm guessing plenty of cardinals were involved in his orgies with the pope, so that their vote has been won over for the Anglo-Saxons
Glorious
Thanks.
Due to other religions pushing Catholicism back and constant scandal and corruption charge events, the Faith's moral authority sank tremendously, which meant stability dropped like a rock. So far a while, over a century in fact, Latin Christendom becomes an Anglo Saxon cult. I suppose you could say that Anglicanism is the default Christian belief outside of the Orthodox Church, which is absurdly powerful.
Well that Bear fellow certainly is a fine tale for foreigners to listen to. It's sure to leave them confused though .
.
Well that Bear fellow certainly is a fine tale for foreigners to listen to. It's sure to leave them confused though
A humiliating story for the lancasters and a hilarious story for everyone else, including their own subjects, down through the ages. I expect it became ever more embellished over time, whereas the 'true' tale is whispered to Lancaster children when they are old enough to know.
That bear looks suspicious. Kill it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mm yes, they do try that at least once. Next update details more.
An update is ready, but I need to upload photos and edit so tomorrow you should have the second half of the Bear Tale. However, as of this minute we are fairly caught up with watching the rather stale but still burning dumpster fire that is the conservative party leadership. It makes you weep for an organised and effective opposition. So it goes...
Anyway, Secret will be done and away with in the next chapter so if you didn't like the insane bent of the AAR recently we'll be back to normal before long. If you liked the insanity, then you may have to wait sometime before a lunatic takes over as leader of Lancaster. But it does happen. Anyway, north wales and Lancaster are secured as of the next chapter, and we face the issue of power projection as a minor earldom. The next ruler has to solve all that.
As for the current game save, we are at 1005AD and Lancaster, who were doing quite well at finally amalgamating their tributaries, suddenly come up against a massive stumbling block. Something that I was certainly not expecting. I continue to be impressed by this game to throw multiple enemies at me as soon as I ascended to the next level of power. For those worried about Lancaster becoming OP and curb-stomping everyone...that doesn't happen here. I would be surprised if it ever does.
Anyway, Secret will be done and away with in the next chapter so if you didn't like the insane bent of the AAR recently we'll be back to normal before long. If you liked the insanity, then you may have to wait sometime before a lunatic takes over as leader of Lancaster. But it does happen. Anyway, north wales and Lancaster are secured as of the next chapter, and we face the issue of power projection as a minor earldom. The next ruler has to solve all that.
As for the current game save, we are at 1005AD and Lancaster, who were doing quite well at finally amalgamating their tributaries, suddenly come up against a massive stumbling block. Something that I was certainly not expecting. I continue to be impressed by this game to throw multiple enemies at me as soon as I ascended to the next level of power. For those worried about Lancaster becoming OP and curb-stomping everyone...that doesn't happen here. I would be surprised if it ever does.
I'm now feeling sad that bears whether spies or not have never appeared in my games.
A wonderful tale TheButterflyComposer, and having just caught up on the equally amazing rest of this AAR I'm very interested in seeing where Lancaster goes!
A wonderful tale TheButterflyComposer, and having just caught up on the equally amazing rest of this AAR I'm very interested in seeing where Lancaster goes!
I'm now feeling sad that bears whether spies or not have never appeared in my games.
A wonderful tale TheButterflyComposer, and having just caught up on the equally amazing rest of this AAR I'm very interested in seeing where Lancaster goes!
Whilst I haven't attached to any characters I've played quite like the Pendragons, lancaster as a game has been more fun to play and far more suprising. I genuinely have had to fight for survival and success for most of the game. I heartily recommend everyone to try a game with maxed taxes and few levies from vassals. Much harder game but more strategy.