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The Italians have garrisoned their border with us, which is something of a worry even though there is nothing specific to indicate they are ready to attack. The Hungarians though have largely demilitarised their border with us, concentrating on matching Romania’s forces on their border. Romania and the Soviets still suspiciously guard their respective border provinces with Romania and in the Caucasus. The Turkish Government wonders whether the Russians will one day require Bessarabia to be turned over to them as payoff for their quiescence on the Balkan takeover.
Italians in the birder isn't good. Let's hope the plan is a defensive measure only (to be fair, can see why they would be paranoid). Hungary and Romania killing each other in their own territory is the best outcome you can hope for so that's good. Hopefully if the Italian side decide to help they'll go after that fight first before going down south. As for appeasing the russians, I think that if Barbarossa is happening in their future, they might have their hands full and will let you get away with it, so long as it remains a faithful puppet. Any rebellion however will probs be used as an excuse to claim it themselves.
Trotsky and his supporters are organising the "Fourth International" as a rival to Stalin's Comintern, which has been pejoratively described as not having as its purpose the overthrow of capitalism. Leon Trotsky's son, Leon Sedov, dies mysteriously in Paris. Some believe that he has been murdered by an agent of Stalin. Leon, watch your back!
They better summon the Red Butterfly quickly. Although having northern communit faction in the world might make the eventual fate of the Comintern go differently.
Well either you pick an old name from the Bunche of middle eastern empires that have existed over the years to give yourself claims and rights to the land there or you go with the classic Ottoman Empire, which to be honest, is the choice you should make. It's existed for over 700 years and the person who can say they brought it back from the brink after being cruelly destroyed by the uptight European imperial powers is going to be a legend in Turkish politics for centuries to come. Plus it gives you solid ground for getting the rest of your old empire back and tells your allies exactly what land you want when the war begins to wind down and everyone starts negotiating. The only issue you might have is the allies being unwilling to hand their middle eastern turf (unlikely but possible, they might want to just make them indepednant which means you can take them later) and especially the African stuff (unless they cocked up so bad that turkey does most of the fighting there). However, if you buddy up to the communists I imagine they'll help you get these bits back if you can't get them peacefully off the allies after the war. Anything to weaken the capitalists after all. In fact, if the Russians want Western Europe and the Chinese end up being nationalists or don't join the comintern, Stalin might use turkey and her empire to control Africa and Southern Asia whilst Russian takes Europe (as much as it can) and deals with Japan's and the Chinese.
Are you sure you want to do this? If I'm not mistaken the terrain modifiers on a division are the average of the modifiers of the individual units. So adding an Art to a mountaineer division only makes sense if you plan to use them almost exclusively outside mountainous terrain. I just did the test and a Mtn brigade with Mountain Warfare gets Mountains: Attack +10%, Movement +10%, and Defence +30% for Hills: Attack +10%, movement +10% and Defence +10%. a Mtnx3 + 1xArt will get the following modifiers: Mountains: Attack: -10%, Movement -10% and Defence +22,5% and for Hills: Attack -2,5%, movement +5% and Defence +7,5%. This is compared to a full Inf Division which would get 0% on all.
Normal Inf will get 0% on Movement and Defense, and -50%, and -30% Attack respectively in mountains and hills.
Pure Art gets you -70% Mountain Attack & Movement, and -40% Attack, and -10% Movement in Hills.
The thing is that if your Mountaineers meet an equivalent enemy Mountaineer Division in Mountains they would lose against Mtnx4, and against Mtnx3 as well the Art would be a drag on their speed and on their performance, the combined arms bonus would redeem some of this, but I don't believe it's worth it (maybe in hills, but not in Mountains) (not taking other factors into account here assuming exactly the same tech level, and leader stats).
Are you sure you want to do this? If I'm not mistaken the terrain modifiers on a division are the average of the modifiers of the individual units. So adding an Art to a mountaineer division only makes sense if you plan to use them almost exclusively outside mountainous terrain. I just did the test and a Mtn brigade with Mountain Warfare gets Mountains: Attack +10%, Movement +10%, and Defence +30% for Hills: Attack +10%, movement +10% and Defence +10%. a Mtnx3 + 1xArt will get the following modifiers: Mountains: Attack: -10%, Movement -10% and Defence +22,5% and for Hills: Attack -2,5%, movement +5% and Defence +7,5%. This is compared to a full Inf Division which would get 0% on all.
Normal Inf will get 0% on Movement and Defense, and -50%, and -30% Attack respectively in mountains and hills.
Pure Art gets you -70% Mountain Attack & Movement, and -40% Attack, and -10% Movement in Hills.
The thing is that if your Mountaineers meet an equivalent enemy Mountaineer Division in Mountains they would lose against Mtnx4, and against Mtnx3 as well the Art would be a drag on their speed and on their performance, the combined arms bonus would redeem some of this, but I don't believe it's worth it (maybe in hills, but not in Mountains) (not taking other factors into account here assuming exactly the same tech level, and leader stats).
Thanks so much! I'm still pretty new to the game so helpful technical hints like this are very welcome. Your sage guidance has been provided to MAJGEN Muzir who will apply it. I don't think the Persians will have any 4xMTN divs, so will keep a 3x and try to get the 2x up to three brigades asap, but will use them as is in support of the advance.
Thanks so much! I'm still pretty new to the game so helpful technical hints like this are very welcome. Your sage guidance has been provided to MAJGEN Muzir who will apply it. I don't think the Persians will have any 4xMTN divs, so will keep a 3x and try to get the 2x up to three brigades asap, but will use them as is in support of the advance.
Always glad to help. Using Mtnx3 will be just fine, I have rarely seen an AI use Mtnx4. (If you didn't know already you can easily evaluate terrain modifiers by composing your proposed division in the Division production screen and then hovering over the small terrain icon (right below the templates to the right of the picture) to see the modifiers.)
Always glad to help. Using Mtnx3 will be just fine, I have rarely seen an AI use Mtnx4. (If you didn't know already you can easily evaluate terrain modifiers by composing your proposed division in the Division production screen and then hovering over the small terrain icon (right below the templates to the right of the picture) to see the modifiers.)
One thing you could consider, if you have the leaders to spare, would be to collect a few artillery pieces under a Corps HQ to use as supporting forces for your mountain divisions. That way your mountaineers can attack independently of the artillery into mountains or hills, but if you need them to fight in plains regions you can bring the corps into the attack to provide artillery fire.
I'm not 100% sure how this works in terms of how all the stats shake out, but it might be something to try.
One thing you could consider, if you have the leaders to spare, would be to collect a few artillery pieces under a Corps HQ to use as supporting forces for your mountain divisions. That way your mountaineers can attack independently of the artillery into mountains or hills, but if you need them to fight in plains regions you can bring the corps into the attack to provide artillery fire.
I'm not 100% sure how this works in terms of how all the stats shake out, but it might be something to try.
Noted. Not much spare arty at the moment but may have a play with it later. I'm not actually expecting too hard a defence from the Persians, but it could be a handy thing when defending against the Hun hordes later!
To back up @nuclearslurpee I have seen players give front line HQ's, mostly Corps HQ's, artillery and anti-aircraft brigades because they do get into a habit of being in combat because either the player was distracted and forgot to move the HQ OR their are under AI control and have a habit of going into combat.
To back up @nuclearslurpee I have seen players give front line HQ's, mostly Corps HQ's, artillery and anti-aircraft brigades because they do get into a habit of being in combat because either the player was distracted and forgot to move the HQ OR their are under AI control and have a habit of going into combat.
indeed. For the Yugoslav campaign I gave them spare inf bdes (I think it was at Markkur's suggestion iirc) because I'm short of generals and actually used them in an offensive capacity. So adding some support bdes as well will be on the cards once I have enough to throw around. Definitely for the coming Götterdämmerung!
Slightly disappointed it's taken you till now to realise this.
On which note Lord El Pip advises that the Soviet claims on Bessarabia are all but inevitable, it is their destiny and minor details like Romania being a Turkish puppet will not derail them.
He is also concerned about the nascent Turkish Armoured Corps if they think the CV-33 is in any way exciting, or even an improvement over an armoured car. Even at the time you could find armoured cars that were faster, more heavily armed and had better armour, if you go for one of the 6 wheeled ones (as was fashionable inter-war) then they might even be more manoeuvrable.
I suppose the hidden plus point in the terrible play is that it will distract everyone from Braanszon's failure to come up with a new name for Turkey so he won't be killed for that. Admittedly he will instead risk death for theft and funding pro-Axis propaganda, but no plan is perfect.
Slightly disappointed it's taken you till now to realise this.
On which note Lord El Pip advises that the Soviet claims on Bessarabia are all but inevitable, it is their destiny and minor details like Romania being a Turkish puppet will not derail them.
He is also concerned about the nascent Turkish Armoured Corps if they think the CV-33 is in any way exciting, or even an improvement over an armoured car. Even at the time you could find armoured cars that were faster, more heavily armed and had better armour, if you go for one of the 6 wheeled ones (as was fashionable inter-war) then they might even be more manoeuvrable.
I suppose the hidden plus point in the terrible play is that it will distract everyone from Braanszon's failure to come up with a new name for Turkey so he won't be killed for that. Admittedly he will instead risk death for theft and funding pro-Axis propaganda, but no plan is perfect.
Yes, you must remember that the 'Path to Glory' is indeed an unabashed Turkish Government propaganda piece A CV-33 isn't really enough to excite someone who commanded a troop of Leopard 1A4s in his now very distant youth. But any tank is better than no tank, no matter how lame, and I've managed to build one before I've even managed to develop the light armour tech for indigenous production. You have to take your small pleasures where you can. And compared to the Slovakian armoured corps ...
As for Braanszon, I think he may be in for a real emotional roller-coaster ride: it is now officially spring, so that means things start warming up again everywhere. I think a few of the main players will be lucky to see the darling buds of May this year!
And finally, the Romanians will just have to grin and bear it re Bessarabia: after all, we did promise it to the Russians as the price for their turning a blind eye in the Balkans. They will keep Transylvania too, and their own puppet government - until they are overrun by the Germans around 1941. A bargain.
On which note Lord El Pip advises that the Soviet claims on Bessarabia are all but inevitable, it is their destiny and minor details like Romania being a Turkish puppet will not derail them.
Pretty much. I think we did offer it up on the alter of communism so we could get the rest of our empire. And since Romania is pretty expendable, at least in this aar, it shouldn't matter too much. Though the possibility of introducing insane communist dictators is...worrying.
He is also concerned about the nascent Turkish Armoured Corps if they think the CV-33 is in any way exciting, or even an improvement over an armoured car. Even at the time you could find armoured cars that were faster, more heavily armed and had better armour, if you go for one of the 6 wheeled ones (as was fashionable inter-war) then they might even be more manoeuvrable.
Yeah but...we're fighting Persians.
Mind you a big healthy tank brigade would have made that war really short, as in OTL. I guess that's might be a problem now. Hopefully we didn't shoot and eat all the horses when we got that dustbin on wheels.
I suppose the hidden plus point in the terrible play is that it will distract everyone from Braanszon's failure to come up with a new name for Turkey so he won't be killed for that. Admittedly he will instead risk death for theft and funding pro-Axis propaganda, but no plan is perfect.
Or it could be the straw that breaks the camels back and facism (and racism) will be revealed as the ridiculous sham that it is. Hitler will be ashamed and Mussolini will probably be killed. World peace shall be established and the British empire will magically stay together, the U.S. will continue to be irrelevant and Russia will build a liberal socialist democracy utopia...on the MOON! Oh, and turkey does something. Like maybe pick a name.
As for Braanszon, I think he may be in for a real emotional roller-coaster ride: it is now officially spring, so that means things start warming up again everywhere. I think a few of the main players will be lucky to see the darling buds of May this year!
The Melt! The Melt! Just as Kelebeck fortold!
"Um sir, why did you feel the need to sell my soul to find out simply if summer is coming rather than even the slightly more useful information of when the winter drifts clear?"
Oh yes, that reminds me...
The man shoved his hapless assistant out of the window. As his ejaculation of surprise ended prematurely with a swift meeting with Terra Firma, a small binging sound was heard in the man's office. Suddenly, a small receipt burnt into existences and floated into his hand.
And finally, the Romanians will just have to grin and bear it re Bessarabia: after all, we did promise it to the Russians as the price for their turning a blind eye in the Balkans. They will keep Transylvania too, and their own puppet government - until they are overrun by the Germans around 1941. A bargain.
I like how this is your good scenario plan, that we might be able to get the land back after Germany has finished killing most of us and Russia in Europe and finally cocked up somewhere. When that cock up might be that'll, when they take Romania they'll double down on fighting turkey from two fronts, this might not end well for us (though for Russia, they get our European empire in the bag for it!).
Or it could be the straw that breaks the camels back and facism (and racism) will be revealed as the ridiculous sham that it is. Hitler will be ashamed and Mussolini will probably be killed. World peace shall be established and the British empire will magically stay together, the U.S. will continue to be irrelevant and Russia will build a liberal socialist democracy utopia...on the MOON! Oh, and turkey does something. Like maybe pick a name
If you've seen Iron Sky, those moon colonies never seem to work out well! Don't worry, a name will be chosen, all in good time. Indeed, Persephonee may even have thought of one already ...
An update should be out soon. Spring is coming. For Hitler too: in Europe and on the stage. Though I wonder where Luca Brasi may have ended up - not as fishbait, surely?
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Chapter 42: Springtime for Hitler (1 to 12 March 1938)
Chapter 42: Springtime for Hitler (1 to 12 March 1938)
The “Mystery Musical”
1 Mar 38. At last, Roger De Bris is happy that all will be ready for the play to open soon.
Roger De Bris likes what he sees!
Max and Leo have been handing out free invitations for the Gala Grand Premier “Mystery Musical” to the elite of the Turkish government, military, business and cultural institutions for the last month. Now they are able to confirm the date: Saturday the 12th of March, 1938. Early spring in Ankara. Turkey’s leading theatre critics have also been invited, though they must pay. Given the interest shown so far, they have moved the production to the more prestigious (and far more expensive) Ankara Opera House.
The large number of free tickets issued in advance is supposedly a clever marketing ploy to gain maximum publicity and pique the public’s interest. In fact, Leo and Max are banking on this backfiring on the production once they see how theatrically awful and politically offensive it is. Opening night will be closing night, the losses will be substantial (though only a fraction of what they will get away with). Plane tickets will be bought for a quick getaway before the creditors can come looking for them.
An Unexpected Guest for Lunch
2 Mar 38. In Bosanka Dubica, 2 Cav Bde is still not attacking the Croatian rebels in nearby Sisak, despite having arrived by train on 24 Feb and being given orders to attack immediately. The brigade commander, who sat out the New Balkan War and was posted to command the brigade after some time on the Syrian border, seems not to have been imbued with the new aggressive Turkish military spirit. Instead of exhorting his men to attack, he has had some of them raid a passing circus troop so he can conduct some experiments he first heard about from veterans of the desert campaigns of the Great War.
Commander 2nd Cavalry Brigade’s bright idea for taking heavy weapons into the cavalry charge.
The commander (left), pictured here with his second-in-command, is pleased with what he sees.
Having inspected the demonstration and given orders for Heavy Elephant Fire Teams to be prepared and attached to each squadron of the brigade before the attack on Sisak can go in, he retreats to his command post in a nearby country mansion to rest and have a hearty lunch.
As he sits down to eat his roast pheasant with spatchcock liver paté, he hears a door open behind him and heavy footsteps approaching.
“Ah, Besim,” he says, giving an order to his Albanian manservant, “this burgundy is a little off, bring me the 1921 and be quick about it, man!”
Only this isn’t Besim approaching. The eyes of his second-in-command widen as he sees a circus performer approach the table. He seems to be a rather large fellow, dressed in wrestler’s garb.
It is indeed Luca Brasi, who has been diverted from his top secret mission somewhere in the region to investigate the cause of the delay in the attack on Sisak and provide some 'encouragement' to the commander to press forward. He has been given wide discretion to rectify matters.
Posing as a wrestler from the circus troop from which the commander appropriated the elephant, he had observed the earlier elephant demonstration, spoken to soldiers and officers in the brigade over the last day and taken in the state of inertia and incompetence.
Luca wraps his arms around the commander’s neck and head in a wrestling manoeuvre. Saying only “You have failed your nation for the last time”, he snaps the unfortunate officer's neck like a twig!
He turns to the second-in-command. “Commander,” Luca rumbles. “The President is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.”
“We shall double our efforts,” babbles the petrified officer. “We will attack this very day!”
“I hope you do Commander, for your sake,” warns Brasi. “The President is not as forgiving as I am.”
The officer runs from the room, barking orders to the staff as he enters the operations room.
There, that wasn’t too hard after all. It just took a little motivational counselling.
7 Mar 38
The latest round of Axis subversion has finished. Kaya is in an even more filthy mood than usual. He has been unable to stop these provocateurs and is on high alert for the first even remotely plausible scapegoat to foolishly make his way into his clutches.
At least, he thinks to himself, he can have one night off from the grind of counter-espionage and traitor hunting to indulge the one relaxation and innocent pleasure he allows himself: a good musical stage entertainment! He has front row tickets, with Mrs Kaya, to the premier of the new ‘Mystery Musical’ being put on by Max ‘Broadway’ Bialystock. Just the thing to ease the concerns of his grim world!
9 Mar 38
The second Turkish AT bde is produced. It is placed at the other end of the nascent Calistar Line, in the very strong (mountains, behind a strait) defensive terrain of Canakkale. Soon, the first level of fortifications will be completed and another new ‘infantry support division’ will be formed around the nucleus of this second AT bde. A new militia brigade is ordered to start building the port garrisons that will supplement the Calistar Line defences to guard against possible Italian naval landings in Turkish ports.
World News Report, Vienna, Austria: Anschluss! Germany is on the move in earnest now. Taking a leaf out of the Turkish playbook, they have brazenly annexed Austria! That now gives them a shared border with Turkey and their lackey Hungary.
In scenes that are likely to be repeated as Germany gears up its own expansion plans,
the border gates go up and German troops march in to Austria on 9 March 1938.
10 Mar 38
World News Report, Rome, Italy: Just a day after the annexation of Austria by Germany, Italy is accepted into the Axis faction through their ‘Pact of Steel’. That possible invasion of Hungary would have proven to be the fast lane on the highway to hell for Turkey!
12 Mar 38: Springtime for Hitler
Nationalist China is on the verge of surrender to Japan. It is only five days after the end of the last pro-Axis influence campaign in Turkey finished, three days after the annexation of Austria by Germany and two days after Italy joined the Axis. So, with superb timing, Bialystock and Bloom’s “Mystery Musical” is ready to premier in Ankara. They are (of course) almost completely politically naïve, are all recent expats from America and speak no Turkish, so they are almost completely unaware of the fraught situation their play will be bursting into. They just think it means that Hitler and the Nazis will be very unpopular and thus their play will either flop, or simply be closed down, thus aiding their plan.
All is in readiness at Ankara’s new and modern Opera House as guests begin arriving for the Premier.
Braanszon Guildenstern arrives early. He is keen to see how his investment performs and admits to some admiration for the “Mystery Musical” promotion that Max has been running. He is mulling over the new national name Persephonee has just suggested for Turkey. Perhaps he will present it to his boss, Armaments Minister Calistar, on Monday. He should be in a good mood after tonight’s musical entertainment, which he will be attending, along with the whole Cabinet, including the President.
Politicians, generals, intelligentsia, business leaders, theatre critics, socialites and the well-to-do who have been able to obtain tickets all file in. Among them is an an unusually large percentage of little old ladies. Kaya arrives with his wife; General and (key investor) Mrs Artunkal (for once she is without her chihuahua); Prime Minister Inönü. Finally, the President himself arrives. Despite a serious life with serious duties, he enjoys a laugh and has been a major sponsor of the modern arts in Turkey. He has brought one of his many adopted daughters with him to enjoy the spectacle.
Franz Liebkind arrives wearing a resplendent tuxedo – with his ubiquitous German helmet, freshly painted. This draws many a curious and a few plainly hostile stares. He sees Max and Leo in the lobby.
“Gentlemen,” he greets them very seriously. “This is a very momentous moment!”
He wishes Max and Leo good luck (Max has his fingers crossed behind his back), clicking his heels together as he shakes the hand of each and starts into the theatre.
He stops suddenly, turns back to them and, with a mad gleam in his eye, says: “Tonight, Ankara. Tomorrow, ze world!”
Bloom points out The Istanbul Times theatre critic, who has just entered and is chatting with some theatre-goers.
Max ambles over. “Always delighted to see the gentlemen of the press. Here’s a couple of free tickets, on the centre aisle.”
The critic accepts haughtily, then says: “Thank you. Here, wait a minute. There seems to be some mistake. There's a thousand lira bill wrapped around these tickets.”
“It’s no mistake,” says Max conspiratorially. “Enjoy the show!”
“Just what do you think you are doing, Mr Bialystock?”
“Why, bribing you. And if you play ball there’s a lot more where that came from.”
The critic and his companions – who have heard the lot – are aghast. He blusters in rage: “I... I... I... How dare he! I've never been so insulted in my life! The gall of the man! The incredible gall of the man! I'll fix his wagon.”
He flings the money back as he stalks past Max. “Heh, heh, heh,” chuckles Max. “He’ll kill us!”
All take their seats. An announcer’s voice calls out in rich tones. “Mr President, Excellencies, Generals, Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Bialystock and Bloom’s Mystery Musical …” he pauses as the curtain slowly rises to reveal a line of chorus girls dressed in sexy storm trooper costumes. They dance and kick in Radio City Music Hall Rockette fashion and are accompanied by a male storm trooper chorus.
The men begin singing:
Germany was having trouble,
What a sad, sad story.
Needed a new leader
To restore its former glory.
Where, oh, where was he,
Who could that man be,
We looked around,
And then we found,
The man for you and me,
And now its...
The announcer now chimes in with the show’s mystery title: “... Springtime for Hitler and Germany!”
There were some raised eyebrows at the dancing girls and chorus. Uncomfortable murmurs when “glory” was mentioned, some thinking it may be a dig at the expense of Turkey’s now-famous (and state-sponsored) Path to Glory. But then audible gasps at the show’s title! The song of praise to the Fuhrer, Turkey’s arch-enemy of the moment, continues.
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutschland is happy and gay!
We're marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Rhineland's a fine land once more!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Watch out, Europe
We're going on tour!
They can't say "no" to his demands
They're freaking out in foreign lands
He's got the whole world in his hands
The Fuhrer is causing a furor!
The storm trooper Rockettes part. From above them, descending twin staircases, are two lines of beautiful showgirls. Each holds a huge balloon above their heads. On each balloon is painted a picture of the Fuhrer. They all sing the “Springtime for Hitler” song as they descend.
From the audience, cries of “This is shocking!” and “Outrageous!” can be heard. The offended theatre critic is writing furiously.
“Ahhh, this is going better than I expected!” Max says delightedly.
A couple walk past him, leaving early. “Well, talk about bad taste,” the woman says to her husband as they hurry past Max and Leo.
Max says to Leo: “Come, let us repair to the bar across the street. I don't want to be caught here during intermission. We'll be stoned to death.” They exit the theatre happily, arms linked, a flop - and a fortune – guaranteed.
On the stage, the ‘Springtime for Hitler’ opening number is coming to an end in a great crescendo of patriotic insanity, with the whole chorus singing:
So Springtime for Hitler,
Is Springtime for Goering,
Is Springtime for Goebbels,
Is Springtime for Himmler,
Is Springtime for you and me!!
The curtain falls. The number is received by the audience with hushed silence. Followed by a surge of people toward the doors. The aisles are choked with unhappy people, who can’t wait to get out. They are either offended or do not wish to be associated with this politically toxic hymn of praise to Hitler.
Kaya remains, stony faced. As does the Cabinet. The President has not left yet – his expression is unreadable. Many people do stay, just to see what happens.
The curtain rises again. On stage is a very fetching Eva Braun. Hitler (Lorenzo 'LSD' St Dubois) is pacing up and down. Eva sits on a love-seat, an oversize daisy in her hands. She speaks with a pronounced American accent:
“Er liebt mir. Er liebt mir nicht. Er liebt mir.” The last petal falls. “Er liebt mir nicht.”
The people who were leaving have slowed down. Some are walking back to their seats. They are intrigued.
“I lieb you baby, I lieb you. You know that.” Says LSD/Hitler.
“If you lieb me, why are you leaving me?”
“Hey, man, I can't spend all my time with you. I took an oath, baby, Deutschland uber alles.”
Eva, Adolph and a few close personal friends.
All the early leavers have stopped to turn and watch now. Some begin to laugh and others applaud. They like LSD (so to speak).
One of them turns to a fellow patron. “That's Hitler? I get it! It's a put-on.”
His wife turns to him: “Hey, Ali, he’s funny!”
As Max and Leo down drinks in the bar across the road, the audience is beginning to get into the show.
Eva: “If the Duke of Windsor could give up the Throne of England for the woman he loved, why can't you?”
LSD/Hitler: “It's different. I'm a tyrant, baby.”
The whole audience laughs. This gag is very topical and the crowd remembers well the visit the then Edward VIII made to Turkey just before he abdicated.
Meanwhile, as the show goes on, Franz Liebkind is becoming increasingly confused. Then outraged. This is not the show he wrote! He charges backstage.
“Bring down ze curtain! Bring down ze curtain.” He rushes for the curtain rope, banging the stage hand trying to stop him over the head with his helmet. Down comes the curtain, on top of the cast.
Franz dashes onto the stage and addresses the audience. “I am ze author of this play. You are ze victims of a hoax. These are not my words. Der Fuhrer never says baby. Der Fuhrer is sweet, the Fuhrer is kind, the Fuhrer is good.”
The crew have won back control of the curtain and raise it. A wildly protesting and gesticulating Franz is raised up with it. The audience, thinking this is part of the show, laughs uproariously and break into applause. Franz disappears above.
The cast, recovering as the curtain rises, goes on with the show.
A General, making a report: “Who can we attack?”
LSD/Hitler: “Hey man, let’s stomp Switzerland!”
General: “We can’t … we keep our money there!”
LSD: “Where’s Goebbels, Where’s my little Joe?”
General: “Send for Goebbels!”
Goebbels enters shortly afterwards: “Heil, baby! I just finished the morning propaganda broadcasts.”
LSD: “What did you tell the people?”
Goebbels: “I told them we invaded England.”
LSD: “Hey baby, that’s good! How’d we come out?”
Goebbels: “We won!”
LSD: “Groovy!”
The President hasn’t enjoyed himself so much in years. This is a
politically smart and very timely spoof of the great tyrant. He even
detected the taciturn Security Minister Kaya crack a broad smile!
After continuing in much the same vein, the show finally ends.
In the bar, Max and Leo can see the after-show crowd heading in. “Quick, hide your face,” says Max. “They’ll tear us to pieces.”
A horde of the first-nighters sweeps into the bar, clamouring for drinks. The crowd is very cheerful.
“Well, that’s about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on the stage, in Istanbul or Ankara,” a woman says to her companion.
“Never laughed so much in my life,” he says.
“Hysterical, absolutely hysterical,” says another. “I thought I’d split my sides.”
“Take it easy, don’t panic,” Max whispers to Leo. “There are other plays on this street tonight. They’re not necessarily talking about ours.”
Says another man to his wife: “Fatima, I never in a million years thought I'd ever love a show called ‘Springtime For Hitler.’”
Max and Leo freeze. Mrs Artunkal comes up behind Max, rapping him on the back with her umbrella: “Bialy, you sly fox, you've done it. It's a smasheroo!”
Max and Leo beat a hasty retreat. Max is dazed: “Got to think … got to think … got to think,” he keeps saying to himself.
Leo has his security blanket out again, muttering the list of investors, all owed 20-50% of what will be the stupendous profits. What are they going to do next?
Max and Leo confront the awful truth of their ragingly successful opening night.
Coming Up: Mud maketh the man – Field Marshal Arikan wonders whether it will ever end. The officers start heading out of Ankara and back to their units on the Persian border. Persephonee has something she wants to send up the flagpole for the new national name. Braanszon ponders his rosy future with the profits he will surely reap. As does a long list of fellow investors. Max and Leo retreat to the bunker (not a Fuhrer bunker). Luca disappears from view again – where will he be seen next? Germany sends a strong protest note to Foreign Minister Aras: their Ambassador was apparently at the performance! When told of this, Atatürk laughs almost as hard as he did at the performance of ‘Springtime for Hitler’. And Franz has more than a protest note in mind: it may be safer at the front!
Excellent work there. "Mystery play" A special nod to the artwork...excellente, fantastico, brovisimo!
or "Far out! that play man, like Roxx dude! and a mysterious wrestler to boot. You'd need him just to keep men on the back of that "heavy mobile-unit"<LOL> A word of caution to the <ahem>..."back seat gunner" "Do NOT fire the gun!"
"Sir...sir...he's doing it again."
The Sargent sighed and got up from his whiskey and water, leaving the Mess to find the commanding officer of the entire Brigade on the back of an elephant, making gun shapes with his hands and whispering "Pew, Pew!"
"Ah, Richards! Class act this circus. Hey, hey, hey...let me ask you something...let me ask you something."
"Yes sir?"
"Machine buns-I mean guns."
"Machine Guns?"
"Machine guns. Get me one. I want to fit this baby up for war."
"Sir we've been here for days without doing anything about the rebel crisis. Austria has been annexed by Germany. Italy is just across the border itching to invade. Turkey needs to stand United right now-"
"I wonder if the Italians would know anything about war elephants...hey I should totally go ask them! I bet they'd be cool with discussing that right?"
"Um...well I guess it dpeends on how well they know their own his-"
"You're right, you're right, we should use them against the russsians first. Only then can we answer the question who wouldn't win in a fight between elephants and bears."
"In three foot high snow?!"
And that is the reason why all elephants today hate communism.
World News Report, Vienna, Austria: Anschluss! Germany is on the move in earnest now. Taking a leaf out of the Turkish playbook, they have brazenly annexed Austria! That now gives them a shared border with Turkey and their lackey Hungary.
World News Report, Rome, Italy: Just a day after the annexation of Austria by Germany, Italy is accepted into the Axis faction through their ‘Pact of Steel’. That possible invasion of Hungary would have proven to be the fast lane on the highway to hell for Turkey!
At this rate, it looks like the war will go pretty much as in OTL. This is only good if Germany decides not to help with conquering Yugoslavia or immediately decides to seize the rest of Poland and the Ukraine rather than go after turkey.
Finally, the President himself arrives. Despite a serious life with serious duties, he enjoys a laugh and has been a major sponsor of the modern arts in Turkey. He has brought one of his many adopted daughters with him to enjoy the spectacle.
In the end a good laugh at Adolf's expense was just the tonic he needed. At least Max and Leo now only need to worry about being killed by their investors, rather than arrest and disappearance in the clutches of Kaya's secret police, which at first was looking very likely
I'm hoping that the elimination of Yugoslavia as an entity means that no scripted attack on it (or Greece) therefore applies. It would have to be an attack on Turkey, which I assume would only occur according to game parameters. So I guess that may mean a border garrison sufficient to discourage cheap attacks?
