KHANDESH THE BEWILDERINGLY SUCCESSFUL
CHAPTER 5 - MIRAN'S THE NAME
(1457-1459)
The war has been going well thus far, I have proven my considerable military ability with repreated victories over my hugely outnumbered and struggling foes. Gujarat the latest army to be shattered by my rampant forces.
Truly the only member of the enemy coalition worthy of my attention in this war is Delhi, who still have a reasonably large army. Smarting after their humiliating defeat at the hands of my predecessor in the war of 1446, wherein Delhi was stupid enough to disperse her large army into small units allowing for Khandeshi forces to defeat each small force in detail, Delhi are likely seeking revenge. I would be very surprised were Delhi to repeat the mistakes of the past. Then she though Khandesh ruled by an incompetent fool, clearly knowing of my brilliance she will surely not understimate Khandesh this time.
Oh well nevermind, they are making the exact same mistake once again alongside seemingly suffering attrition whilst within their own territory. Thank goodness for foolish opponents. Although their acting in this way seems to suggest they have little respect for my ability. It is almost as if they think me an inept ruler. Where they can have gained this impression I have no idea.
Despite Delhi showing alarming imbecility once again, I still think it time to finally recruit a general to lead Khandesh's armed forces alongside me. There are several reasons for my sudden wish to recruit another military leader, but chief amongst them is my love of life, and therefore my lack of enthusiasm at risking slaughter on the battlefield. Frankly I am clearly far too important for it to be worth the risk of my dying at the hands of some uneducated oaf wielding a rusty pitchfork. Khandesh would fall apart without me.
Sandeep is understandbly delighted at this news, he has been desperate to get stuck in on the battlefield, dismayed as he has been at being left with only administrative work in his role as Marshal. Whilst Sandeep is undoubtedly skilled he is lacking one major qualification for any budding Khandeshi general; he has the wrong name. I explain to him I simply cannot let anyone command Khandesh's armies if they do not have 'Miran' as their forename. This is, after all, the name of Khandesh's best known military leader, a colossus of the battlefield, my predecessor. It is a name steeped in victory, Sandeep will have to adopt this name if he wishes to lead my armies.
Sandeep, or rather the General formerly known as Sandeep, is confused by this demand but nonetheless acquiesces. Clearly he truly is desperate to fight for his Sultan and country. Patriotic fool. Oh well, rather him than me.
I am very happy that he is now leading the army, his name is similar enough to mine that I can simply claim any victories he achieves as my own, in exactly the same manner as my predecessor did.
San-uh, General Bhatti is recruited not a moment too soon. Delhi finally realised their idiocy in so splitting their forces once again and rectified the problem, instead creating a reasonably large stack which has entered Khandeshi territory. Noticing this, I order Bhatti forward.
Damn I'm good. Clearly that victory was solely due to me. After all it was my decision to recruit Bhatti and put him in charge of the army and my decision to give him the winning name of Miran. Sometimes I amaze myself with my brilliance.
I having, through Bhatti, vanquished Delhi's main force set about crushing the remenants of Delhi's army. That is to say, General Bhatti sets about crushing the remnants of Delhi's army in my name.
Having now wiped out Delhi's armed forces, only siege duty remains. It is during these eventful months of siege duty, wherein Khandeshi soldiers engage in remarkably courageous activies such as cloud watching and reading the odd book, that Hemant brings me highly important news.
Truly I astonish myself at times, I'm just too good. Yet another woman impregnated due to my rampant potency. Verily women really have to be locked up to remain safe from my sheer machoism. Conquerer on the field and in the bed, that's m-wait a minute. This doesn't add up. Hemant explains to me that I have actually been given the Jalayirids crown, some nation off to the west which I've barely heard of, rather than having spawned a Faruqi heir.
Oh. Well. I knew that. Obviously. Excellent news nonetheless. The Jalayirid people, wherever they are and whoever they are, clearly have good taste when it comes to picking monarchs.
Being a good and dutiful ruler ready to begin reigning over my newly acquired subjects, I have my cartographer show me where exactly the Jalayirids nation is.
Hmm. Interesting. The Timurids cut me off from direct access to my newly won throne and they are still suffering from constant rebellions.
I have Noor detail the rebel numbers.
Goodness me, things really are still bad. My poor cou-uh, fellow family member who I am very close to, whatshisface, oh yes, 'Mirza is still somehow clinging on to power. He clearly needs my aid once more. Although he does have a scarily large army which is prone to attacking allies, such as myself, for no good reason. Perhaps I should simply leave him to it.
Perhaps not.
Well then, matters are out of my hands. I have to aid my much loved fellow Faruqi ruler, M...something, once again. And I have to gain passage to my newly acquired Jalayirids realm, as my subjects there will no doubt be desperate for Faruqi rule.
I'm sure my cou-family member of some sort, will be delighted that I am aiding him once more.
Will 'Mirza truly be glad to have his fellow family member 'rescuing' him once more? Was forcing the clearly brilliant General Bhatti to adopt the name of Miran a stroke of genius or idiocy? Does anyone actually read through the questions posed at the end of an update? Find out in the next turgid episode of Khandesh - land of the bewildered!