Letter, Dr. Stavridis to Hon. Michael Doukas
6 September
My dear Mike,
My news today is not so good. Loukia this morning had gone back a bit. There is, however, one good thing which has arisen from it. Mrs. Este-Ravenna was naturally anxious concerning Loukia, and has consulted me professionally about her. I took advantage of the opportunity, and told her that my old master, Von Habsburg, the great specialist, was coming to stay with me, and that I would put her in his charge conjointly with myself. So now we can come and go without alarming her unduly, for a shock to her would mean sudden death, and this, in Loukia's weak condition, might be disastrous to her. We are hedged in with difficulties, all of us, my poor fellow, but, please God, we shall come through them all right. If any need I shall write, so that, if you do not hear from me, take it for granted that I am simply waiting for news, In haste,
Yours ever,
Stavridis
Dr. Stavridis's Diary[edit]
7 September.
The first thing Von Habsburg said to me when we met at Thessaloniki Street was, "Have du said anyzing zo our young friend, zo lover of her?"
"No," I said. "I waited till I had seen you, as I said in my telegram. I wrote him a letter simply telling him that you were coming, as Miss Este-Ravenna was not so well, and that I should let him know if need be."
"Gut, mein friend," he said. "Quite right! Better he not know as yet. Perhaps he vill never know. Ich pray so, but if it be needed, then he shall know all. And, mein gut friend John, let me caution you. Du deal vith zhe madmen. All men are mad in some vay or zhe other, and inasmuch as du deal discreetly with your madmen, so deal vith Gott's madmen too, zhe rest of zhe vorld. Du tell not your madmen vhat du do nor vhy du do it. Du tell them not vhat du zhink. So du shall keep knowledge in its place, vhere it may rest, vhere it may gather its kind around it und breed. Du and Ich shall keep as yet vhat ve know here, und here." He touched me on the heart and on the forehead, and then touched himself the same way. "Ich hab for mein self zhoughts at zhe present. Later Ich shall unfold to du."
"Why not now?" I asked. "It may do some good. We may arrive at some decision."
He looked at me and said,"Mein friend John, vhen zhe corn ist grown, even before it has ripened, vhile zhe milk of its mother earth is in him, and zhe sunshine has not yet begun zo paint him vith his gold, zhe husbandman he pull zhe ear und rub him between his rough hands, und blow away zhe green chaff, und say to du, 'Look! He's good corn, he vill make a good crop when zhe time comes.' "
I did not see the application and told him so. For reply he reached over and took my ear in his hand and pulled it playfully, as he used long ago to do at lectures, and said, "Zhe gut husbandman tell du so zhen because he knows, but not till zhen. But du do not find zhe gut husbandman dig up his planted corn to see if he grow. Zhat is for zhe kinder vho play at husbandry, und nicht for zhose vho take it as of zhe vork of zheir life. See du now, friend John? Ich have sown mein corn, and Nature has her vork to do in making it sprout, if he sprout at all, there's some promise, and Ich wait till the ear begins to swell." He broke off, for he evidently saw that I understood. Then he went on gravely, "Du vere always a careful student, and your case book vas ever more full than the rest. Und Ich trust zhat gut habit have nichtt fail. Remember, mein friend, zhat knowledge ist stronger than memory, und ve should nicht trust zhe veaker. Even if du have not kept zhe gut practice, let mich tell du zhat zhis case of our dear frau ist eine zhat may be, mind, Ich say may be, of such interest to us und others zhat all zhe rest may not make him kick zhe beam, as your people say. Take zhen good note of it. Nothing ist too small. Ich counsel you, put down in record even your doubts und surmises. Hereafter it may be of interest to du to see how true you guess. Ve learn from failure, not from success!"
When I described Lucy's symptoms, the same as before, but infinitely more marked, he looked very grave, but said nothing. He took with him a bag in which were many instruments and drugs, "zhe ghastly paraphernalia of our beneficial trade," as he once called, in one of his lectures, the equipment of a professor of the healing craft.
When we were shown in, Mrs. Este-Ravenna met us. She was alarmed, but not nearly so much as I expected to find her. Nature in one of her beneficient moods has ordained that even death has some antidote to its own terrors. Here, in a case where any shock may prove fatal, matters are so ordered that, from some cause or other, the things not personal, even the terrible change in her daughter to whom she is so attached, do not seem to reach her. It is something like the way dame Nature gathers round a foreign body an envelope of some insensitive tissue which can protect from evil that which it would otherwise harm by contact. If this be an ordered selfishness, then we should pause before we condemn any one for the vice of egoism, for there may be deeper root for its causes than we have knowledge of.
I used my knowledge of this phase of spiritual pathology, and set down a rule that she should not be present with Loukia, or think of her illness more than was absolutely required. She assented readily, so readily that I saw again the hand of Nature fighting for life. Von Habsburg and I were shown up to Loukia's room. If I was shocked when I saw her yesterday, I was horrified when I saw her today.
She was ghastly, chalkily pale. The red seemed to have gone even from her lips and gums, and the bones of her face stood out prominently. Her breathing was painful to see or hear. Von Habsburg's face grew set as marble, and his eyebrows converged till they almost touched over his nose. Loukia lay motionless, and did not seem to have strength to speak, so for a while we were all silent. Then Von Habsburg beckoned to me, and we went gently out of the room. The instant we had closed the door he stepped quickly along the passage to the next door, which was open. Then he pulled me quickly in with him and closed the door. "Mein gott!" he said. "Zhis is dreadful. Zhere is nicht time to be lost. She vill die fur sheer vant of blut to keep zhe heart's action as it should be. Zhere must be a transfusion of blut at once. Ist it du or mich?"
"I am younger and stronger, Professor. It must be me."
"Zhen get ready at once. Ich vill bring up mein bag. Ich am prepared."
I went downstairs with him, and as we were going there was a knock at the hall door. When we reached the hall, the maid had just opened the door, and Michael was stepping quickly in. He rushed up to me, saying in an eager whisper,
"Jim, I was so anxious. I read between the lines of your letter, and have been in an agony. The mother was better, so I ran down here to see for myself. Is not that gentleman Dr. Von Habsburg? I am so thankful to you, sir, for coming."
When first the Professor's eye had lit upon him, he had been angry at his interruption at such a time, but now, as he took in his stalwart proportions and recognized the strong young manhood which seemed to emanate from him, his eyes gleamed. Without a pause he said to him as he held out his hand,
"Sir, du hab come in time. Du are zhe lover of our dear frau. She is bad, very, very bad. Nein, mein kinder, do nicht go like zhat."
For he suddenly grew pale and sat down in a chair almost fainting. "Du are to help her. Du can do more zhan any zhat live, and your courage ist your best help."
"What can I do?" asked Michael hoarsely. "Tell me, and I shall do it. My life is hers' and I would give the last drop of blood in my body for her."
The Professor has a strongly humorous side, and I could from old knowledge detect a trace of its origin in his answer.
"Mein young sir, Ich do not ask so much as zhat, not zhe last!"
"What shall I do?" There was fire in his eyes, and his open nostrils quivered with intent. Von Habsburg slapped him on the shoulder.
"Come!" he said. "Du are a man, and it ist a man ve vant. Du are better than mich, better than mein friend John." Michael looked bewildered, and the Professor went on by explaining in a kindly way.
"Young frau is bad, very bad. She vants blut, and blut she must have or die. Mein friend John and Ich have consulted, and ve are about to perform vhat ve call transfusion of blut, to transfer from full veins of one to zhe empty veins which pine for him. John was to give his blut, as he ist zhe more young and strong zhan mich."--Here Michael took my hand and wrung it hard in silence.--"But now du are here, du are more good zhan us, old or young, vho toil much in zhe vorld of zhought. Our nerves are nicht so calm and our blut so bright zhan yours!"
Michael turned to him and said, "If you only knew how gladly I would die for her you would understand . . ." He stopped with a sort of choke in his voice.
"Gut boy!" said Von Habsburg. "In zhe not-so-far-off du vill be happy zhat du have done all for her du love. Come now and be silent. Du shall kiss her vonce before it is done, but zhen du must go, and du must leave at mein sign. Say nicht a word to Fraulein. du know how it ist vith her. Zhere must be no shock, any knowledge of zhis would be one. Come!"
We all went up to Loukia's room. Michael by direction remained outside. Michael turned her head and looked at us, but said nothing. She was not asleep, but she was simply too weak to make the effort. Her eyes spoke to us, that was all.
Von Habsburg took some things from his bag and laid them on a little table out of sight. Then he mixed a narcotic, and coming over to the bed, said cheerily, "Now, little frau, here ist your medicine. Drink it off, like a gut kinder. See, Ich lift du so zhat to svallow ist easy. Ja." She had made the effort with success.
It astonished me how long the drug took to act. This, in fact, marked the extent of her weakness. The time seemed endless until sleep began to flicker in her eyelids. At last, however, the narcotic began to manifest its potency, and she fell into a deep sleep. When the Professor was satisfied, he called Michael into the room, and bade him strip off his coat. Then he added, "Du may take zhat one little kiss vhiles Ich bring over zhe table. Friend John, help to mich!" So neither of us looked whilst he bent over her.
Von Habsburg, turning to me, said, "He ist so young und strong, and of blut so pure zhat ve need nicht defibrinate it."
Then with swiftness, but with absolute method, Von Habsburg performed the operation. As the transfusion went on, something like life seemed to come back to poor Loukia's cheeks, and through Michael's growing pallor the joy of his face seemed absolutely to shine. After a bit I began to grow anxious, for the loss of blood was telling on Michael, strong man as he was. It gave me an idea of what a terrible strain Loukia's system must have undergone that what weakened Michael only partially restored her.
But the Professor's face was set, and he stood watch in hand, and with his eyes fixed now on the patient and now on Michael. I could hear my own heart beat. Presently, he said in a soft voice, "Do nicht stir an instant. It ist enough. Du attend him. Ich vill look to her."
When all was over, I could see how much Michael was weakened. I dressed the wound and took his arm to bring him away, when Von Habsburg spoke without turning round, the man seems to have eyes in the back of his head,"Zhe brave lover, Ich zhink, deserve another kiss, vhich he shall have presently." And as he had now finished his operation, he adjusted the pillow to the patient's head. As he did so the narrow black velvet band which she seems always to wear round her throat, buckled with an old diamond buckle which her lover had given her, was dragged a little up, and showed a red mark on her throat.
Michael did not notice it, but I could hear the deep hiss of indrawn breath which is one of Von Habsburg's ways of betraying emotion. He said nothing at the moment, but turned to me, saying, "Now take down our brave young lover, give him of zhe port
wine, and let him lie down a vhile. He must zhen go home und rest, sleep much and eat much, zhat he may be recruited of vhat he has so given to his love. He must nicht stay here. Hold a moment! Ich may take it, sir, that you are anxious of result. Then bring it vith du, that in all ways zhe operation is successful. Du have saved her life zhis time, and du can go home and rest easy in mind zhat all zhat can be is. Ich shall tell her all vhen she is vell. She shall love du none zhe less for vhat you have done. Goodbye."
When Michael had gone I went back to the room. Loukia was sleeping gently, but her breathing was stronger. I could see the counterpane move as her breast heaved. By the bedside sat Von Habsburg, looking at her intently. The velvet band again covered the red mark. I asked the Professor in a whisper, "What do you make of that mark on her throat?"
"Vhat do du make of it?"
"I have not examined it yet," I answered, and then and there proceeded to loose the band. Just over the external jugular vein there were two punctures, not large, but not wholesome looking. There was no sign of disease, but the edges were white and worn looking, as if by some trituration. It at once occurred to me that that this wound, or whatever it was, might be the means of that manifest loss of blood. But I abandoned the idea as soon as it formed, for such a thing could not be. The whole bed would have been drenched to a scarlet with the blood which the girl must have lost to leave such a pallor as she had before the transfusion.
"Vell?" said Van Helsing.
"Well," said I. "I can make nothing of it."
The Professor stood up. "Ich must go back to Vienna tonight," he said "Zhere are books and things there which I want. Du must remain here all nacht, und du must not let your sight pass from her."
"Shall I have a nurse?" I asked.
"Ve are zhe best nurses, du and Ich. Du keep vatch all nacht. See zhat she is vell fed, and zhat nothing disturbs her. Du must not sleep all zhe nacht. Later on ve can sleep, du and Ich. Ich shall be back as soon as possible. And zhen ve may begin."
"May begin?" I said. "What on earth do you mean?"
"Ve shall see!" he answered, as he hurried out. He came back a moment later and put his head inside the door and said with a warning finger held up, "Remember, she ist your charge. If du leave her, and harm befall, du shall nicht sleep easy hereafter!"
Dr. Stavridis's Diary--Continued
8 September.
I sat up all night with Loukia. The opiate worked itself off towards dusk, and she waked naturally. She looked a different being from what she had been before the operation. Her spirits even were good, and she was full of a happy vivacity, but I could see evidences of the absolute prostration which she had undergone. When I told Mrs. Este-Ravenna that Dr. Von Habsburg had directed that I should sit up with her, she almost pooh-poohed the idea, pointing out her daughter's renewed strength and excellent spirits. I was firm, however, and made preparations for my long vigil. When her maid had prepared her for the night I came in, having in the meantime had supper, and took a seat by the bedside.
She did not in any way make objection, but looked at me gratefully whenever I caught her eye. After a long spell she seemed sinking off to sleep, but with an effort seemed to pull herself together and shook it off. It was apparent that she did not want to sleep, so I tackled the subject at once.
"You do not want to sleep?"
"No. I am afraid."
"Afraid to go to sleep! Why so? It is the boon we all crave for."
"Ah, not if you were like me, if sleep was to you a presage of horror!"
"A presage of horror! What on earth do you mean?"
"I don't know. Oh, I don't know. And that is what is so terrible. All this weakness comes to me in sleep, until I dread the very thought."
"But, my dear girl, you may sleep tonight. I am here watching you, and I can promise that nothing will happen."
"Ah, I can trust you!" she said.
I seized the opportunity, and said, "I promise that if I see any evidence of bad dreams I will wake you at once."
"You will? Oh, will you really? How good you are to me. Then I will sleep!" And almost at the word she gave a deep sigh of relief, and sank back, asleep.
All night long I watched by her. She never stirred, but slept on and on in a deep, tranquil, life-giving, healthgiving sleep. Her lips were slightly parted, and her breast rose and fell with the regularity of a pendulum. There was a smile on her face, and it was evident that no bad dreams had come to disturb her peace of mind.
In the early morning her maid came, and I left her in her care and took myself back home, for I was anxious about many things. I sent a short wire to Von Habsburg and Michael, telling them of the excellent result of the operation. My own work, with its manifold arrears, took me all day to clear off. It was dark when I was able to inquire about my zoophagous patient. The report was good. He had been quite quiet for the past day and night. A telegram came from Von Habsburg at Vienna whilst I was at dinner, suggesting that I should be at [ILLEGIBLE] tonight, as it might be well to be at hand, and stating that he was leaving by the night mail and would join me early in the morning.
9 September.
I was pretty tired and worn out when I got to [ILLEGIBLE]. For two nights I had hardly had a wink of sleep, and my brain was beginning to feel that numbness which marks cerebral exhaustion. Loukia was up and in cheerful spirits. When she shook hands with me she looked sharply in my face and said,
"No sitting up tonight for you. You are worn out. I am quite well again. Indeed, I am, and if there is to be any sitting up, it is I who will sit up with you."
I would not argue the point, but went and had my supper. Lucy came with me, and, enlivened by her charming presence, I made an excellent meal, and had a couple of glasses of the more than excellent port. Then Lucy took me upstairs, and showed me a room next her own, where a cozy fire was burning.
"Now," she said. "You must stay here. I shall leave this door open and my door too. You can lie on the sofa for I know that nothing would induce any of you doctors to go to bed whilst there is a patient above the horizon. If I want anything I shall call out, and you can come to me at once."
I could not but acquiesce, for I was dog tired, and could not have sat up had I tried. So, on her renewing her promise to call me if she should want anything, I lay on the sofa, and forgot all about everything.
Loukia Este-Ravenna's Diary
9 September.
I feel so happy tonight. I have been so miserably weak, that to be able to think and move about is like feeling sunshine after a long spell of east wind out of a steel sky. Somehow Michael feels very, very close to me. I seem to feel his presence warm about me. I suppose it is that sickness and weakness are selfish things and turn our inner eyes and sympathy on ourselves, whilst health and strength give love rein, and in thought and feeling he can wander where he wills. I know where my thoughts are. If only Michael knew! My dear, my dear, your ears must tingle as you sleep, as mine do waking. Oh, the blissful rest of last night! How I slept, with that dear, good Dr. Stavridis watching me. And tonight I shall not fear to sleep, since he is close at hand and within call. Thank everybody for being so good to me. Thank God! Goodnight Michael.
Dr. Stavridis's Diary[edit]
10 September.
I was conscious of the Professor's hand on my head, and started awake all in a second. That is one of the things that we learn in an asylum, at any rate.
"Und how ist our patient?"
"Well, when I left her, or rather when she left me," I answered.
"Come, let us see," he said. And together we went into the room.
The blind was down, and I went over to raise it gently, whilst Van Helsing stepped, with his soft, cat-like tread, over to the bed.
As I raised the blind, and the morning sunlight flooded the room, I heard the Professor's low hiss of inspiration, and knowing its rarity, a deadly fear shot through my heart. As I passed over he moved back, and his exclamation of horror, "Gott in Himmel!
[sic]" needed no enforcement from his agonized face. He raised his hand and pointed to the bed, and his iron face was drawn and ashen white. I felt my knees begin to tremble.
There on the bed, seemingly in a swoon, lay poor Loukia, more horribly white and wan-looking than ever. Even the lips were white, and the gums seemed to have shrunken back from the teeth, as we sometimes see in a corpse after a prolonged illness.
Von Habsburg raised his foot to stamp in anger, but the instinct of his life and all the long years of habit stood to him, and he put it down again softly.
"Schnell!" he said. "Bring zhe beer."
I flew to the dining room, and returned with the decanter. He wetted the poor white lips with it, and together we rubbed palm and wrist and heart. He felt her heart, and after a few moments of agonizing suspense said,
"It ist nicht too late. It beats, zhough but feebly. All our vork ist undone. Ve must begin again. Zhere ist no young Michael here now. Ich have to call on du yourself zhis time, friend John." As he spoke, he was dipping into his bag, and producing the instruments of transfusion. I had taken off my coat and rolled up my shirt sleeve. There was no possibility of an opiate just at present, and no need of one. and so, without a moment's delay, we began the operation.
After a time, it did not seem a short time either, for the draining away of one's blood, no matter how willingly it be given, is a terrible feeling, Von Habsburg held up a warning finger. "Do nicht stir," he said. "But Ich fear zhat vith growing strength she may vake, und zhat vould make danger, oh, so much danger. But Ich shall precaution take. Ich shall give hypodermic injection of morphia." He proceeded then, swiftly and deftly, to carry out his intent.
The effect on Loukia was not bad, for the faint seemed to merge subtly into the narcotic sleep. It was with a feeling of personal pride that I could see a faint tinge of color steal back into the pallid cheeks and lips. No man knows, till he experiences it, what it is to feel his own lifeblood drawn away into the veins of the woman he loves.
The Professor watched me critically. "Zhat vill do," he said. "Already?" I remonstrated. "You took a great deal more from Mike." To which he smiled a sad sort of smile as he replied,
"He ist her lover, her fiance. Du have work, much work to do for her and for others, and the present will suffice."
When we stopped the operation, he attended to Lucy, whilst I applied digital pressure to my own incision. I laid down, while I waited his leisure to attend to me, for I felt faint and a little sick. By and by he bound up my wound, and sent me downstairs to get a glass of wine for myself.
I had done my part, and now my next duty was to keep up my strength. I felt very weak, and in the weakness lost something of the amazement at what had occurred. I fell asleep on the sofa, however, wondering over and over again how Loukia had made such a retrograde movement, and how she could have been drained of so much blood with no sign any where to show for it. I think I must have continued my wonder in my dreams, for, sleeping and waking my thoughts always came back to the little punctures in her throat and the ragged, exhausted appearance of their edges, tiny though they were.
Loukia slept well into the day, and when she woke she was fairly well and strong, though not nearly so much so as the day before.
She chatted with me freely, and seemed quite unconscious that anything had happened. I tried to keep her amused and interested. When her mother came up to see her, she did not seem to notice any change whatever, but said to me gratefully,
"We owe you so much, Dr. Stavridis, for all you have done, but you really must now take care not to overwork yourself. You are looking pale yourself. You want a wife to nurse and look after you a bit, that you do!" As she spoke, Loukia turned crimson, though it was only momentarily, for her poor wasted veins could not stand for long an unwonted drain to the head. The reaction came in excessive pallor as she turned imploring eyes on me. I smiled and nodded, and laid my finger on my lips. With a sigh, she sank back amid her pillows. Von Habsburg returned in a couple of hours, and presently said to me. "Now you go home, and eat much and drink enough. Make yourself strong. I stay here tonight, and I shall sit up with little miss myself. You and I must watch the case, and we must have none other to know. I have grave reasons. No, do not ask the. Think what you will. Do not fear to think even the most not-improbable. Goodnight."
In the hall two of the maids came to me, and asked if they or either of them might not sit up with Miss Lucy. They implored me to let them, and when I said it was Dr. Von Habsburg's wish that either he or I should sit up, they asked me quite piteously to intercede with the`foreign gentleman'. I was much touched by their kindness. Perhaps it is because I am weak at present, and perhaps because it was on Loukia's account, that their devotion was manifested. For over and over again have I seen similar instances of woman's kindness. I got back here in time for a late dinner, went my rounds, all well, and set this down whilst waiting for sleep.
It is coming.
11 September.
This afternoon I went over again. Found Von Habsburg in excellent spirits, and Lucy much better. Shortly after I had arrived, a big parcel from abroad came for the Professor. He opened it with much impressment, assumed, of course, and showed a great bundle of white flowers.
"These are for you, Frau Loukia," he said.
"For me? Oh, Dr. Von Habsburg!"
"Ja, but zhese are medicines." Here Loukia made a wry face. "Zhis is medicinal, but du do nicht know how. Ich put him in your vindow, Ich make pretty vreath, and hang him round your neck, so du sleep vell. Ja! Zhey, like zhe lotus flower, make your trouble forgotten. It smell so like zhe vaters of Lethe, and of zhat fountain of youth that the Conquistadores sought for, and find him all too late."
Whilst he was speaking, Loukia had been examining the flowers and smelling them. Now she threw them down saying, with half laughter, and half disgust,
"Oh, Professor, I believe you are only putting up a joke on me. Why, these flowers are only common garlic."
To my surprise, Von Habsburg rose up and said with all his sternness, his iron jaw set and his bushy eyebrows meeting,
"Ich bin very serious! Zhere ist a reason Ich do zhis!"
We went into the room, taking the flowers with us. The Professor's actions were certainly odd and not to be found in any pharmacopeia that I ever heard of. First he fastened up the windows and latched them securely. Next, taking a handful of the flowers, he rubbed them all over the sashes, as though to ensure that every whiff of air that might get in would be laden with the garlic smell. Then with the wisp he rubbed all over the jamb of the door, above, below, and at each side, and round the fireplace in the same way. It all seemed grotesque to me, and presently I said, "Well, Professor, I know you always have a reason for what you do, but this certainly puzzles me. It is well we have no sceptic here, or he would say that you were working some spell to keep out an evil spirit."
"Perhaps Ich am!" He answered quietly as he began to make the wreath which Lucy was to wear round her neck.
We then waited whilst Loukia made her toilet for the night, and when she was in bed he came and himself fixed the wreath of garlic round her neck. The last words he said to her were,
"Take care you do nicht disturb it, und even if zhe room feel close, do nicht tonight open zhe window or zhe door."
"I promise," said Loukia. "And thank you both a thousand times for all your kindness to me! Oh, what have I done to be blessed with such friends?"
As we left the house in my fly, which was waiting, Von Habsburg said,"Tonight Ich kann sleep in peace, and sleep Ich vant, two nights of travel, much reading in zhe day between, und much anxiety on zhe day to follow, and a night to sit up, vithout to vink. Tomorrow in the morning early du call for mich, und ve come together to see our pretty frau, so much more strong for mein `spell' vhich Ich have vork. Ho, ho!"
He seemed so confident that I, remembering my own confidence two nights before and with the baneful result, felt awe and vague terror. It must have been my weakness that made me hesitate to tell it to my friend, but I felt it all the more, like unshed tears.