Observe, The Paradox Programmer

[UltimateTobi]

"On the floor, it lies in wait, often attempting to hide alongside long lists of patch notes. Why it does this, we're not sure we'll ever really know." - MrFreake (Stellaris CA)

Saw this in the PC Announcement channel of Stellaris' Discord.

Speculate on the content of this "long list of patch notes".

 

[ashbery76]

I had a closer look.

 

[Janx14]

"Unity production is now in part based on tech rates, providing a bonus for Materialists over spiritualists"

"A lot of the community was upset about hiveminds, so we've just removed them from the game."

"Admin cap was unliked, so we just removed it. Instead, the wider you are, the more growth rate you accumulate, we call this 'Thiccness'."

"Robots can now colonize everyting and anything, not just habitable worlds"

"There is now a special event for robots and synths that increasing their growth rate by 25%"

"Pops now check things every second instead of every day."

"Pirates now just spawn randomly"

"Missiles and strike craft damage reduced by 50%"

 

[Walshicus]

Okay, so those are the modding patch notes, so where are the rest?

 

[MK1980]

i wonder if the banana on the image has a hidden meaning...

 

[Rosthun]

snip

You forgot:

"Fixed military AI by completely removing FTL travel"
"In order to reduce micro, every time the pop grows, you have to manually select a job for it"
"Endgame crisis now acts as a player ally, conquering systems for them"
"Gameplay was deemed too diverse, so we removed governments and traits from the game"

 

[Kayden_II]

I don't know why, but I can already sense the crowd that will celebrate like "Look how Paradox cares !" and I think to myself "Look how it takes a ****-load of criticism in order to look how Paradox cares !"

Besides that, it's an other cup of tea how this will turn out.

 

[Archael90]

Most of this notes are precisely pointet features of necroids DLC.
But i hope there is at least few about base game changes.

 

[HFY]

i wonder if the banana on the image has a hidden meaning...

Bananas are included for scale.

This is because bananas are a tropical fruit, and therefore not compatible with polar conditions or coordinates: the image is clearly scalar, not vectored.

 

[MrFreake_PDX]

Bananas are included for scale.

This is because bananas are a tropical fruit, and therefore not compatible with polar conditions or coordinates: the image is clearly scalar, not vectored.

I have no idea what any of this means, but I'm getting a real Monty Python "Where'd you get the coconut then?" vibe from it and I LIKE IT

 

[Jman5]

Can't read anything but they tend to format these things the same way so you can get an idea of how much is in each section.

Looks like a lot of bug fixes!

 

[GnoSIS]

He's too happy and too relaxed. Therefore it's time to stop buying paradox products.

 

[Birdos]

"In order to reduce micro, every time the pop grows, you have to manually select a job for it"

Anyone else thinking this could actually reduce micromanagement if they then stick to that job forever?

 

[HFY]

I have no idea what any of this means, but I'm getting a real Monty Python "Where'd you get the coconut then?" vibe from it and I LIKE IT

Is there a programmer on your team?

You could ask someone nerdy about the math references -- explaining this joke will kill its potential for humor for you, but you'll know for next time.

 

[bedervet]

This is clearly a a waste of good paper, print that much of Lorem Ipsum...

 

[GnoSIS]

Seriously, posting photos like that is REALLY dangerous and stupid. He set the stage now, and if ANYTHING goes wrong he's going to be memed hard, cause he provided the material to load all the meme shotguns.

 

[Constans337]

"Zoom and enhance!", just like in the movies. You're welcome.

 

[Celulthor]

"On the floor, it lies in wait, often attempting to hide alongside long lists of patch notes. Why it does this, we're not sure we'll ever really know." - MrFreake (Stellaris CA)

Saw this in the PC Announcement channel of Stellaris' Discord.

Speculate on the content of this "long list of patch notes".

Paradox is certainly a great company to take such a good care for it's employees. Look at those amenities of a modern office space: comfy concrete floor to lie on while you write program code on almost unused paper. You also get the opportunity to work closely with some of the finest talent in the industry, such as mr. Banana seen here. It sure is a programmers dream come true.

 

[Akka le Vil]

i wonder if the banana on the image has a hidden meaning...

Pretty sure it's the 9gag meme of the "banana provided for scale".

 

[Mastikator]

Can't read anything but they tend to format these things the same way so you can get an idea of how much is in each section.

Looks like a lot of bug fixes!