1444-1469 of Mzab
Rythin The Skullcracker, a famous barbarian, fighter and womaniser, was sitting in the tavern in Athkatla, a city just few hundred miles to the southwest from Baldur's Gate. Drinking like a mad, he was seeking a person who could give him a quest, and most importantly, a prize that would suit his sophisticated needs. A shaby thug approached his table.
"Are you Rythin the Skullcracker? I may have a work for you."
"Oh? I'm all listening then."
"The job is simple. You have to arrange my date with Vanessa, a chick from the Slums district."
"Sounds simple."
"... But you have to eliminate her boyfriend, Jack Kelfarn."
"Still not so bad."
"He is protected by the magic golem made of steel."
"Killed few of those. Not that bad..."
"The golem is protected by the most secret spell of Higher Magic. To cancel it's effects you have to obtain a Stone of Desacration."
"That's like tough, no?"
"To get it, you have to complete an ancient Ritual of Terror. You will need a skin of a red dragon, a blood of a drow and a scroll of Four Elementals."
"Scroll of Four Elementals?"
"It's in the deepest dungeon of all times, hid in the anus of Great Ancient Wyrm. To kill it, you have to get the special sword, called..."
"Gosh, wouldn't be simplier for you to become a gay? Gosh, those games are so linear..."
His cellphone started to ring.
"Whatsup? Oh, hi Lurken... Nah, not busy... No, nothing special... Okay, I'll be right there."
***
And that's a story. Along with Lurken, we take turns in managing Mzab, probably the toughest shiite country in the world of 1419. Ah, right, THE ONLY shiite country in the world of 1419.
The disturbing thing was, we were vassals of Tlemcan. I didn't really like the idea of giving half of our income to the most annoying neighbour, so I soon broke the vassalage. Before a year passed, being a mad warmongerer, I decided to set out for a campaign against Tunisia, an evil camel country in the northeast.
***
"Gosh, I am so bored. General Abid, how's the campaign going?"
"Your Majesty, we are currently approaching the enemy. After a sixty-five-day-long travel through a desert, we shall engage the Tunisian forces in less than three weeks. I just hope their secondary units won't encircle us and ambush on the way back. They've been spotted three foremoons ago near a city of Linda."
"Woah? Six weeks ago? How could they ambush us?"
"Near some oasis, for example. Anyway, I am also afraid of possible raids. I think they could reach our positions in less than fifteen days!"
"That's more than two weeks!"
"That's an art of manouvering, sire. Quick, rapid and unexpectable manouvering."
"Right."
***
A peace was signed on 10th July 1448. We managed to capture and secure a poor province of Gafsha. A year later, I made a click towards Land, to improve the weak morales and make forces cheaper. Most unexpected event came in 1451.
***
"Your Majesty, this is Muhammad. He has a gift to your most magnificient court."
"What is it?"
"A pineapple."
"A pineapple?"
"Hey, we are on the desert, okay? It's not easy to get a pineapple here!"
***
Gift to State, how fortunate. It allowed me fortify a newly acquired province of Gafsha. Two years later, I declared war upon Tunisia again, which gave me a province of Ghadames just a year later - how pleasant it is to raid an enemy who has no fortifications at all!
After nine years of relative peace, the war broke out. It coincidented with another event of extreme importance - deflation.
***
"What is an inflation again, Abid?"
"A decrease of the money's value."
"When does it happen?"
"When there are too much money on the market, more or less."
"Okay, so what were those things you wanted to talk to me about?"
"A raid of Tunisian troops captured our convoy and took some of the annual income."
"Most terrific."
"Why?"
"Less money on the market means less inflation, no?"
"Uh."
***
Unfortunatelly, Castille dowed Tlamacen. We couldn't afford the two-fronts war, so dishonoured the alliance, with a strong desire of rejoining it as soon as the war ends. By 1469, after six years, it hasn't yet.
This war with Tunisia was the most fruitful one, giving us Ghat and Sfax. And Sfax means an access to the sea!
**
A room was dark. A messanged from Tunisia was sitting in the middle and bowed deeply when Rythin approached.
"What do you want from Tunisia?", the messanged asked in Arabic, a language that Rythin did not understand.
"What are you talking to me? God damn it, it's fu*k shit, I don't understand you."
"Ghat? Damneet? Sfu*cksheet? Sfuxeet? Sfux? Ghat and Sfux? Sounds fair."
"What?"
***