What will happen to Germany with people like this leading it =D And what will happen to us readAARs? We might accidentally hurt ourselves while laughing
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coz1: They are a bit bumbling, yes. Hopefully though, Bernau himself will be competent enough to mitigate their relative ineptitude. And if they were actually responsible for something, they'd probably die 
Pinkspider: Well, hopefully Germany's war effort will stay relatively sane, and hopefully our readAARs won't hurt themselves!
BritishImperial: Yeah, his names are special
First comment day!
Pinkspider: Well, hopefully Germany's war effort will stay relatively sane, and hopefully our readAARs won't hurt themselves!
BritishImperial: Yeah, his names are special
First comment day!
04. The Secret Meeting
August 22, 1939
Berghoff, Germany
The generals were standing on the terrace of the Berghof, looking out over the rolling landscape below them and chatting idly as they awaited Hitler's summons for a speech he had especially prepared for them to ready them for the invasion of Poland. Among those present naturally were the two theater commanders, albeit on polar opposite ends of the audience. It dawned on Regenbogen rather quickly that Bernau was making a deliberate effort to avoid him, or at least he wasn't concealing it like everyone else.
Elsewhere, Bernau shook his head and chuckled at some empty witticism fired off by one of the myriad of generals crowding the terrace near him. He was indeed trying to stay away from Regenbogen, at least until the briefing with Hitler; he did not want to hear any more insane strategic concepts like the one he had heard only ten minutes ago from the man, which involved landing at Arkhanglesk and marching westward. To reach Warsaw.
At last the Fuhrer had appeared behind his podium. In unison, exactly half of all hands present in the room were busy with their most obligatory salutating gesture. Only Regenbogen's was still holding his whiskey glass. He looked about in a succession of confusion, dawning realization and embarrassment before slyly shifting into the forest of sprouting arms to hide himself. Once Hitler returned their salute, the generals dropped their arms, one of them accidentally spilling Regenbogen's whiskey all over his dress uniform in the process, and began assuming their seats.
The Fuhrer had previously decided to make this speech relatively brief, as there was infinitely more exciting work to be done after the ceremony. All of these men knew what they had to do, and were by far the best at it in the entirety of the world. All that he could give them at this point was a morale boost the magnitude of which only he could deliver. He began.
Bernau pushed his shoulders forward as far as he could, concentrating on stretching his aching back, the automobile ride to the Berghof had not been terribly pleasant for his back. Von Rundstedt, who was sitting next to him, looked askance at him before nudging him in the arm, causing Bernau to blink several times in rapid succession and look up at Hitler's gyrating arms. "...I shall give a propagandist reason for starting the war, no matter whether it is plausible or not. The victor will not be asked afterwards whether he told the truth or not. When starting and waging a war it is not right that matters, but victory..."
Throughout the course of the speech Regenbogen could feel his head nodding in agreement. He really couldn't say he understood what was being talked about, but it was oh so convincing... Hitler continued his fervent ranting, his furious words inundating his politically pliant generals. "...Close your hearts to pity. Act brutally. Eighty million people must obtain what is their right. Their existence must be made secure. The stronger man is right..."
Bernau took a deep breath and let it out slowly before scratching his cheek. Hitler was not actually saying anything that the vast majority of the people in the room did not agree with.
With a healthy doze of ideological slogans, Hitler concluded his speech and retired to the area behind the curtain, leaving the audience to amuse themselves. Two men, however, were as concentrated as they can respectively be. They politely denied all offers of alcohol from the waitresses and quietly slipped into a small door in the back of the room.
Once inside, they looked around in slight confusion, wondering where to go as the room was empty save for a table and a handful of chairs. There was another door on another wall, and a curtain in the corner, behind which came strange moaning noises. Göring stumbled out from behind it, holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a glass of whisky in the other and with a jug of rum dangling from his belt. He slurred "ignore the man behind the curtain!” at Bernau and Regenbogen before using the other door to stumble his way out.
It was unclear whether or not the two generals were alone now, given that no one appeared from behind that curtain. Coupled with the fact that Bernau honestly didn't want to hear anything his compatriot had to say, it made for an awkward 5 minutes before Hitler swept grandiosely into the room with his chiefs of staff in tow. As both Bernau and Regenbogen could see, these chiefs of staff included the not entirely sober Göring, who unsteadily dropped himself into one of the chairs and make sounds as if he was a bomb exploding. Hitler looked at him, took a deep breath and sighed before sitting down and offering his other chiefs of staff and the two generals the rest of the seats around the table. He looked at them in order from left to right, which incidentally was alphabetical order, and uttered only the word "Report."
Ludwig Beck looked uncomfortably at Bernau, who looked uncomfortably back at him. Both were unsure whether Hitler meant only the supreme commanders, or everyone else in the room. Taking a deep breath and feeling his cheeks flush, Bernau finally took the initiative and began speaking.
"Mein Fuhrer, my staff has calculated that the southern theatre is ready for operations. I have two army groups under my control. The first, Army Group West Wall, is comprised of the Second and Sixth Armies, which total fourteen and nine divisions, respectively. Their duty will be to defend against any French incursion. Army Group South, on the other hand, has four armies, two of which are panzer armies. The Eighth Army, with nine divisons, guards the Yugoslav border. The Second Panzer Army, with ten divisions, awaits orders at Ostrava and the Fourth Panzer Army at Zilina, with four divisions. Finally, there is the Fourth Army at Kosice, which musters nine divisions. These latter three armies will be dedicated to reducing the defences in southern Poland."
The Fuhrer took a moment to digest this information, and nodded in satisfaction. He then looked expectantly at Regenbogen, who was still tired from last night. In fact, he hadn't slept at all, and his mind wasn't coming up with anything clever to say. In a moment of panic, he said the only thing he remembered Zug telling him before he left.
"My Fuhrer, it is my pleasure to announce that we are strong."
Hitler compressed his lips together tightly, but nodded cautiously at Regenbogen, humouring him. He looked over at Göring, who was busy sputtering to himself as if he was some sort of airplane, one that flapped its wings as awkwardly as Göring flapped his arms.
"Well then" he said calmly, "since we are clearly ready for war with the allies, what invasion plans will you be undertaking when we declare war next week?"
Not having a map on hand, Bernau was reduced to drawing imaginary lines on the table to illustrate his operational plans.
"My forces will be advancing out of the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia with supporting attacks from the territory of our Hungarian allies. I will simply smash the Polish lines and make sure they remain smashed."
Trying his best to maintain the pace of the conversation, Regenbogen didn't hesitate to blurt out "...and we will also be going forward!"
An awkward silence set in as everyone save Göring eyed Regenbogen askance before Hitler nodded, humouring Regenbogen again, and then coughing mildly.
"In that case, I wish us all luck with your invasion... plans... You will be summoned again after the successful annexation of Poland. For now, you may be dismissed."
All stood up and saluted Hitler, and this time Regenbogen included himself in the number. Göring did his own version of the salute, as he happened to still be an airplane, tipping off his seat and diving straight toward the floor. Soon enough the Fuhrer and his staff walked out of the room in unison.
The two generals walked back into the party, one significantly more amused than the other. This amusement died, however, when he saw the look he got in response to "Well that went well, wouldn't you say?"
* * *
The final strategic map of Germany as of August 22nd, composed by Hitler’s staff.
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From: oberst Kurt Steiner
To: Herr Reichsmarschall Göring
Dear Gordy,
If you drink, don't fly.
Best wishes.
Regenbogen, obviously, have the best lines :rofl:
To: Herr Reichsmarschall Göring
Dear Gordy,
If you drink, don't fly.
Best wishes.
Regenbogen, obviously, have the best lines :rofl:
Göring and Regenbogen are ever so funny people =D It's nice that this is amusing as both humour and AAR
dublish: Good, good
Kurt_Steiner: Yes. And no, Göring shouldn't drink and fly
Pinkspider: What's our mission here, humor
First comment day!
Kurt_Steiner: Yes. And no, Göring shouldn't drink and fly
Pinkspider: What's our mission here, humor
First comment day!
Yes. My original hope was for a different, more serious AAR and for the dark color to be more forbidding and whatnot but that didn't happen
Second comment day!
Second comment day!
Myth said:Yes. My original hope was for a different, more serious AAR and for the dark color to be more forbidding and whatnot but that didn't happen
Second comment day!
Now we can at least tell the difference between France and Germany. It's so irritating when they are so close with the colours
Hmm... likes this.
And Poland won't survive long. And the black germany looks amusing.
I shall follow the updates.
And Poland won't survive long. And the black germany looks amusing.
I shall follow the updates.
A week. That's how long Poland will last with those chaps. And I'm being too generous...
Given the generals in charge of the invasion, I hold out some hope for the Poles, but not much. The sun shines on a sleeping dog's a$$ at least once.
coz1 said:Given the generals in charge of the invasion, I hold out some hope for the Poles, but not much. The sun shines on a sleeping dog's a$$ at least once.
Unless the southern front attacks Hungary instead of Poland and the northern one Sweden -you're gonna make Johhan to cry- instead of Danzing, the question is settled.
But... perhaps... the first goal is not going to be Poland... Too simple... too obvious...
Discomb said:
By now it should have been clear with this kind of guys leading a nation
Pinkspider: Yes, that's true. Plus, the black looks more ominous
Enewald: Awesome, great to have you along
Kurt_Steiner: Haha, we'll see...
coz1: Does it ever shine on Poland's, though?
Kurt_Steiner: Hungary is our ally! You wouldn't want us to attack an ally, would you?!
Pinkspider: Precisely
An update will come some time today! Don't know when, though. I have stuff to do in the morning and Discomb has stuff to do in the afternoon, so its quite plausible that we might entirely miss any opportunities to post our next updates until this evening some time. But there will be one!
Enewald: Awesome, great to have you along
Kurt_Steiner: Haha, we'll see...
coz1: Does it ever shine on Poland's, though?
Kurt_Steiner: Hungary is our ally! You wouldn't want us to attack an ally, would you?!
Pinkspider: Precisely
An update will come some time today! Don't know when, though. I have stuff to do in the morning and Discomb has stuff to do in the afternoon, so its quite plausible that we might entirely miss any opportunities to post our next updates until this evening some time. But there will be one!