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Peter, I do love your weaving of reloads into the story. But what happens when you run out of gnomes? 
I'll have the Transcendant One steal one from some other AAR. There's bound to be a spare gnome lying around somewhere...Originally posted by Secret Master
Peter, I do love your weaving of reloads into the story. But what happens when you run out of gnomes?
I must say, that that's the most serious reload I have ever done. Basically, I saw that I was getting nowhere - but that the opposition wasn't strong enough to defeat me (if so, I would definitely have continued). So I dumped 119 years of gameplay to start anew from 1553.
And I began doing the manpower maths published elsewhere (and soon to be updated). If I had done those maths earlier, this might have turned into a world conquest style AAR rather than the relatively peaceful BOCOPS expansion style.
And my apologies for the delays in updates, but I've been (and still am) fairly busy. (See Denmark:TFoTK for a post written in deep frustration explaning why
)
Oh no, thought Snark, on his way down. I'm going to die an unpleasant death.
Unfortunately for Snark, the events leading to his demise occurred after the Rite of the Cheetah was performed.
Oh no, thought Snark, on his way down again in the new timeline. It looks like I'm going to die an unpleasant death.
And so it was that Snark died twice due to nonfunctional flapiflops and a desire to see the Transcendent One in his glory.
*Prufrock studies the agglutinated stain that was Snark*
"Blast. These flapiflops have been busted to glory. What did they look like before? What is a flapiflop?"
Chewing his lip in frustration, Prufrock turned his troubled gaze to the horizon, where his monastery was barely visible, nestled between two mountains. He, a poor country monk, had never set eyes upon the fabled city of Lhasa, or the flapiflops of the Transcendent One. He looked at the cliffs leading to the outskirts of Lhasa, and sighed heavily.
"I shall have to meditate a great deal to erase this blot on my serene acceptance of fate." Hoisting his robe, Prufrock began to climb the rocky wall. "I shall see a flapiflop today... or I shall die trying."
"Blast. These flapiflops have been busted to glory. What did they look like before? What is a flapiflop?"
Chewing his lip in frustration, Prufrock turned his troubled gaze to the horizon, where his monastery was barely visible, nestled between two mountains. He, a poor country monk, had never set eyes upon the fabled city of Lhasa, or the flapiflops of the Transcendent One. He looked at the cliffs leading to the outskirts of Lhasa, and sighed heavily.
"I shall have to meditate a great deal to erase this blot on my serene acceptance of fate." Hoisting his robe, Prufrock began to climb the rocky wall. "I shall see a flapiflop today... or I shall die trying."
I'm right now playing as Tibet and my army really sucks! Especially the country to the north is unbeatable. If I have 10k and he 2k he wins. I must say it is impressive what you have achieved.
I must say it is impressive what you have achieved.
Originally posted by Galadriel
I'm right now playing as Tibet and my army really sucks! Especially the country to the north is unbeatable. If I have 10k and he 2k he wins.
Let the Chagatai Kaganate waste most (or all) or their troops to the nearly eternal snows of Boing before you even think of attacking. Then walk through their mostly unfortified provinces (I'm assuiming we're talking start of the game here). Then let them attack your army, so you are the defender in mountain terrain rather than the attacker. Then besiege their few fortified provinces. It may take a few years to get right, but it works. (And you may lose a few battles, but hey, that's what your large manpower pool is for
)
Once they declared war without moving to my provinces. Lucky for me they later accepted a status que peace.
I have tried your attriation tactics and it work uite well. But I havn't thought about letting them attack on there territory.
In the mid 1400 they get a monarch with 5 in war. I guess I need to finish the war before he gets around.
Thanks for the tips! What is your next goal in the AAR?
I have tried your attriation tactics and it work uite well. But I havn't thought about letting them attack on there territory.
In the mid 1400 they get a monarch with 5 in war. I guess I need to finish the war before he gets around.
Thanks for the tips! What is your next goal in the AAR?
And the Transcendant One looked down from on high, and saw a lone monk travelling the well-worn path up the steep mountain side braving the deep snow drifts and the blizzard with impressive dignity.
Hello, insignificant mammal. Are you serene?, asked the Transcendant One.
And the monk looked up from the ground and into the night sky, but the blizzard blinded him, and tore at his robes, and froze his flesh, and he saw naught but the blizzard, and he answered, "Errr.. Yes, fairly serene, thank you"
And HE spake, saying, You're supposed to say "Yo! I'm serene", according to the new monkish rules of conduct.
And if the monk was slightly saddened by his lack of tact and wisdom, who can argue that he shouldn't be?
And HE spake, saying, I'll just land and then we'll have a talk about ancient wisdom and cosmic harmony and suchlike, is that all right with you?
And the monk threw himself to the ground, and praising his karma (though he felt bad about it), he said "YO!"
And the Transcendant One landed, and HE heard something go squish and HE said, Blast. I never was that good at night landings in blizzards. If only these monks would bother with torches, but noooo. If inner illumination was good enough last incarnation, it is good enough this incarnation. Sometimes, I despair of them ever achieving enlightenment.
And as his soul rose from this now paper-thin squished body, Prufrock gazed upon the Transcendant One, and he sighed, for he had now seen the Transcendant One in all his glory, and accepting his destiny, he said to himself, I'll be back. And he was right.
Reincarnated as a yak, he was eaten as a snack by the Transcendant One four years later, and the Transcendant One said, You again?
And the senior monks wondered at the significance of talking to dead yaks, and made up any number of ancient sayings of wisdom thereof.
Hello, insignificant mammal. Are you serene?, asked the Transcendant One.
And the monk looked up from the ground and into the night sky, but the blizzard blinded him, and tore at his robes, and froze his flesh, and he saw naught but the blizzard, and he answered, "Errr.. Yes, fairly serene, thank you"
And HE spake, saying, You're supposed to say "Yo! I'm serene", according to the new monkish rules of conduct.
And if the monk was slightly saddened by his lack of tact and wisdom, who can argue that he shouldn't be?
And HE spake, saying, I'll just land and then we'll have a talk about ancient wisdom and cosmic harmony and suchlike, is that all right with you?
And the monk threw himself to the ground, and praising his karma (though he felt bad about it), he said "YO!"
And the Transcendant One landed, and HE heard something go squish and HE said, Blast. I never was that good at night landings in blizzards. If only these monks would bother with torches, but noooo. If inner illumination was good enough last incarnation, it is good enough this incarnation. Sometimes, I despair of them ever achieving enlightenment.
And as his soul rose from this now paper-thin squished body, Prufrock gazed upon the Transcendant One, and he sighed, for he had now seen the Transcendant One in all his glory, and accepting his destiny, he said to himself, I'll be back. And he was right.
Reincarnated as a yak, he was eaten as a snack by the Transcendant One four years later, and the Transcendant One said, You again?
And the senior monks wondered at the significance of talking to dead yaks, and made up any number of ancient sayings of wisdom thereof.
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Wow! I never thought that the tibetans.. sorry, the Boingese introduced "Yo!" to the hip hop world. I'm amazed!
CUT TO: Esalen Institute, San Pedro, California, 1977:
Shirley Maclaine wakes with a start, panting in the dim moonlight. A rustling came from her left.
"The yak dream?"
"Yes."
"Let it go, sweetheart. That was lifetimes past. Here- use my crystal."
Shirley Maclaine wakes with a start, panting in the dim moonlight. A rustling came from her left.
"The yak dream?"
"Yes."
"Let it go, sweetheart. That was lifetimes past. Here- use my crystal."
That's it! I've figured out who the Chosen one is!
It's none other than.... Mothra.
It's none other than.... Mothra.
Could be ?
Mothra:
Length
Between 40 and 180 Meters (Larva)
Between 65 and 135 Meters (Adult)
Weight:
Between 8,000 and 20,000 Tons (Larva)
Between 15,000 and 20,000 Tons (Adult)
Wingspan:
Between 80 and 250 Meters
And it has worshippers in the world (but we don't know if they are monks).
Naaah! What are the flapiflops then ???
Cat
Well, Mothra does have flapiflops in adult form - well spotted, that novice, but Mothra clearly lacks the intelligence of the Transcendant One as well as the red voice.
And most important of all... The Transcendant One... is larger (when angry)
Episode the fifth
From the Book of Time Revealed
And the senior monks wandered through the seven dimensions of the palace gardens, and they came upon the Transcendant One as HE lay curled up in deep sleep, and they were deeply relieved for HE had been missing for quite some time. And considering HIM then as HE lay there, they fell into discord, again.
"While certainly HE is the Transcendant One, and never would I critize HIM, it would be practical were HE smaller. The expense of feeding him nearly busts the budget, even despite the growth of Boing", said the first senior monk.
"Come now. While certainly of magnificent size, HE is only truly great when HE angers. At rest, like now, HE is a mere 100 meters long and weighs 1,000 yaks", said the second senior monk.
"Or 200 meters long and 2,500 yaks", said the third senior monk. "The measurements disagree. Space does seems to warp around the measuring ribbon in strange ways. I postulate that HE exists in rather more than the usual seven dimensions."
"That certainly would explain being 500 meters long (or 700 meters) and weighing in excess of 10,000 yaks (or 16,000 yaks) when angry, since anger would, according to the principle of wrathification, collapse at least one transcendent dimension temporarily. Like the principle of the wave function, that doesn't collapse unless a tree falls in the forest", said the fourth senior monk, pontifically.
"That theory was disproved years ago. The wave function doesn't collapse, unless its twin returns from outer space, is the currently accepted theory", said the fifth senior monk, smugly.
"Didn't we agree that it was caused by the death of a cat?", said the first senior monk, fanning the flames.
"Retract that statement in a benevolent way!", screamed the fourth senior monk.
"Banish thy misguided idealism peacefully!", retorted the first senior monk.
"Up yours respectfully!", exclaimed the fifth senior monk, getting into the spirit of things.
"Why did Bodhidharma come from the West?", asked the second senior monk, upping the odds considerably.
A brief silence fell over the garden, as the monks prepared their sayings of last retort.
It wasn't my fault really. I told him to buy a compass so he could find true north and go convert the ancestors of the vikings, but did he listen? Noooo. It was all: even a good thing isn't as good as nothing and I see things so clearly because I close my eyes. You should have seen the bandages he was wearing when I first met him., muttered the Transcendant One in his sleep.
The silence deepened as the monks turned several different shapes of red.
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
Fortunately, the senior monks were equipped for all eventualities, and thus beat emptiness back in their own heads with a single sharp blow each. Nothing beats enlightenment into a skull like a heavy stick.
And this noise finally woke the Transcendant One, and HE looked upon the monks, and HE brought forth a small device like unto a mirror, save it showed scenes of an abandoned castle inhabited by ghosts, in which an intrepid dog and his stupid companion went around trapping the ghosts, unmasking them, and collecting snacks and sandwiches, and HE asked Isn't it neat? It has been a couple of busy weeks, but I'm finished now, and it is going on air any day now!
And though the senior monks wondered how it could go on air without flapiflops and though they wondered how anyone could call a brown two-dimensional smudge in a mirror a dog, they nevertheless agreed. It seemed wisest.
From the Book of the Novice
Meditate on the following:
Apply your formidable arithmetic skills, novice, and answer the following question: How does sitting in meditation make a Buddha?
From the Book of Peaceful Coexistence
And the Transcendant One looked upon Mysore, and seeing the plight of the peasants, who latemented their lack of serfdom, HE asked Mysore to integrate further into BOCOPS as a part of Boing, and the wise leader of Mysore did agree to this eminently reasonable suggestion, and Mysore did become a part of Boing in 1604.
And the Transcendant One looked upon Vijayanagar, and seing the plight of the flowers and mountains of that realm, HE asked Vijayanagar to join BOCOPS as a vassal, and the wise leader of Vijayanager did agree to this most perspiracious suggestion, and Vijayanagar did become a vassal of Boing in 1615.
And the Transcendant One looked upon Nippon, and HE saw the plight of the rice, and HE visited the Shogun and the Emperor and HE asked them, smiling toothily (and how could it be otherwise) Join Boing? Coin coin.... Or chop-chop for dinner? I've brought my own eating implements having studied the native language, and the Shogun prostrated himself, and the Emperor wept with gratitude, and Nippon became part of Boing in 1617, and the Transcendant One raised HIS flapiflops to the skies and did the wappa-dance of joy, and HE took forth two 15 meter long eating sticks, and HE had mountains of rice for dinner. The Nipponese palace took a decade to repair.
Mountain of Rice: Nippon joins Boing, 1617
And the Transcendant One looked upon Manchu, no longer a Nipponese vassal, and seing the plight of the furs of that realm, HE asked Manchu to join BOCOPS as a vassal, and the mighty leader of Manchu did agree to this benevolent suggestion, and Manchu did become a vassal of Boing in 1620.
And the Transcendant One looked again upon Viyajanagar, and said: BOCOPS is nice, but Boing proper is nicer. Are you serene?. And the leader of Vijayanagar was serene and answered "Yo!", and Vijayanagar became part of Boing in 1625. And the senior monks said to the Transcendant One: "We are now dishonourable scum", and HE said, Remembering what happened last timelime, I'm going to release Assam as a vassal. And though bewildered, the senior monks conferred with the Priest-King Karma Tsen-Kyong, and Assam was giving special rights within BOCOPS, and the vassals within BOCOPS were Orissa, Manchu, and Assam.
Yo! Vijayanagar IS serene, 1625
And the Transcendant One looked upon Orissa, and seing the plight of the cotton of that realm, HE asked Orissa to join Boing, and the drooling leader of Orissa did agree to this enlightened suggestion, and Orissa did become a part of Boing in 1632.
From the Book of Boing
And in those days did the Transcendant One walk the very Earth, and occasionally fly, and on HIS hiking expeditions, HE discovered many hidden mountains. The hidden mountain on the island of Manado, was discovered by HIM in 1612, and the hidden Mountain of Ganges in 1617. Truly, the ways of the Transcendant One are mysterious, but his mere presence caused the inhabitants of the hidden mountains to join Boing, and Boing was enriched by their presence.
Truly blesséd is Boing by HIS presence. By HIS will is overcome even the mightiest obstacles. Utter insanity in the Priest-King is no long-term problem as demonstrated by the Priest-King Phüntso Namgye (the exploding yak incident), and neither is a political crises, nor the allying of the Nobles with Foreign Powers, nor even severe unhappiness amongst the Peasantry, for by HIS will are surviving dissenters persuaded to be serene. Or, failing that, their inheritors.
And HE gazed beyond the infinite, and HE saw the hearts and the minds of the Sultans of Delhi, and HE realised that they were in dire need of enlightenment, and, being compassionate, HE suggested that the Priest-King Karma Tsen-Kyong claim the throne of Delhi. But the obstinate Sultans of Delhi took severe offense at compassionate Buddhism, and were very rude in their wrath, and the Transcendant One worried about their Karma, and the Karma of the subjects of Delhi.
And the senior monks attempted to comfort HIM with ancient words of wisdom, and declared, unanimously, that surely the Sultans would reach enlightenment in their own time, and they looked rather smug at the thought.
To which HE replied, that with a heavy heart HE had already declared the defensive compassionate invasion of the Sultanate of Delhi in May 1641.
YAK DUNG! went the senior monks, agreeing for once.
From the Book of Time Revealed
And the senior monks wandered through the seven dimensions of the palace gardens, and they came upon the Transcendant One as HE lay curled up in deep sleep, and they were deeply relieved for HE had been missing for quite some time. And considering HIM then as HE lay there, they fell into discord, again.
"While certainly HE is the Transcendant One, and never would I critize HIM, it would be practical were HE smaller. The expense of feeding him nearly busts the budget, even despite the growth of Boing", said the first senior monk.
"Come now. While certainly of magnificent size, HE is only truly great when HE angers. At rest, like now, HE is a mere 100 meters long and weighs 1,000 yaks", said the second senior monk.
"Or 200 meters long and 2,500 yaks", said the third senior monk. "The measurements disagree. Space does seems to warp around the measuring ribbon in strange ways. I postulate that HE exists in rather more than the usual seven dimensions."
"That certainly would explain being 500 meters long (or 700 meters) and weighing in excess of 10,000 yaks (or 16,000 yaks) when angry, since anger would, according to the principle of wrathification, collapse at least one transcendent dimension temporarily. Like the principle of the wave function, that doesn't collapse unless a tree falls in the forest", said the fourth senior monk, pontifically.
"That theory was disproved years ago. The wave function doesn't collapse, unless its twin returns from outer space, is the currently accepted theory", said the fifth senior monk, smugly.
"Didn't we agree that it was caused by the death of a cat?", said the first senior monk, fanning the flames.
"Retract that statement in a benevolent way!", screamed the fourth senior monk.
"Banish thy misguided idealism peacefully!", retorted the first senior monk.
"Up yours respectfully!", exclaimed the fifth senior monk, getting into the spirit of things.
"Why did Bodhidharma come from the West?", asked the second senior monk, upping the odds considerably.
A brief silence fell over the garden, as the monks prepared their sayings of last retort.
It wasn't my fault really. I told him to buy a compass so he could find true north and go convert the ancestors of the vikings, but did he listen? Noooo. It was all: even a good thing isn't as good as nothing and I see things so clearly because I close my eyes. You should have seen the bandages he was wearing when I first met him., muttered the Transcendant One in his sleep.
The silence deepened as the monks turned several different shapes of red.
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
Fortunately, the senior monks were equipped for all eventualities, and thus beat emptiness back in their own heads with a single sharp blow each. Nothing beats enlightenment into a skull like a heavy stick.
And this noise finally woke the Transcendant One, and HE looked upon the monks, and HE brought forth a small device like unto a mirror, save it showed scenes of an abandoned castle inhabited by ghosts, in which an intrepid dog and his stupid companion went around trapping the ghosts, unmasking them, and collecting snacks and sandwiches, and HE asked Isn't it neat? It has been a couple of busy weeks, but I'm finished now, and it is going on air any day now!
And though the senior monks wondered how it could go on air without flapiflops and though they wondered how anyone could call a brown two-dimensional smudge in a mirror a dog, they nevertheless agreed. It seemed wisest.
From the Book of the Novice
Meditate on the following:
- And the army of Boing stood tall and strong and it numbered 400,000 infantry and 80,000 cavalry in 1599 after decades of peace.
- And the number of troops recruitable per year was 17,000.
- And the Transcendant One applied rule five.
- And following the vassalisation of Nippon and the humbling of Manchu in 1603, the army of Boing stood tall and strong and it numbered 190,000 infantry and 70,000 cavalry.
- And the Transcendant One said That was a tough one, all right. I want more horsies next time.
- And the senior monks said, "But traditionally we have relied on infantry!"
- And the Transcendant One replied Tough cookies. I WANT HORSIES!
- And the senior monks did not raise the subject again.
Apply your formidable arithmetic skills, novice, and answer the following question: How does sitting in meditation make a Buddha?
From the Book of Peaceful Coexistence
And the Transcendant One looked upon Mysore, and seeing the plight of the peasants, who latemented their lack of serfdom, HE asked Mysore to integrate further into BOCOPS as a part of Boing, and the wise leader of Mysore did agree to this eminently reasonable suggestion, and Mysore did become a part of Boing in 1604.
And the Transcendant One looked upon Vijayanagar, and seing the plight of the flowers and mountains of that realm, HE asked Vijayanagar to join BOCOPS as a vassal, and the wise leader of Vijayanager did agree to this most perspiracious suggestion, and Vijayanagar did become a vassal of Boing in 1615.
And the Transcendant One looked upon Nippon, and HE saw the plight of the rice, and HE visited the Shogun and the Emperor and HE asked them, smiling toothily (and how could it be otherwise) Join Boing? Coin coin.... Or chop-chop for dinner? I've brought my own eating implements having studied the native language, and the Shogun prostrated himself, and the Emperor wept with gratitude, and Nippon became part of Boing in 1617, and the Transcendant One raised HIS flapiflops to the skies and did the wappa-dance of joy, and HE took forth two 15 meter long eating sticks, and HE had mountains of rice for dinner. The Nipponese palace took a decade to repair.
Mountain of Rice: Nippon joins Boing, 1617
And the Transcendant One looked upon Manchu, no longer a Nipponese vassal, and seing the plight of the furs of that realm, HE asked Manchu to join BOCOPS as a vassal, and the mighty leader of Manchu did agree to this benevolent suggestion, and Manchu did become a vassal of Boing in 1620.
And the Transcendant One looked again upon Viyajanagar, and said: BOCOPS is nice, but Boing proper is nicer. Are you serene?. And the leader of Vijayanagar was serene and answered "Yo!", and Vijayanagar became part of Boing in 1625. And the senior monks said to the Transcendant One: "We are now dishonourable scum", and HE said, Remembering what happened last timelime, I'm going to release Assam as a vassal. And though bewildered, the senior monks conferred with the Priest-King Karma Tsen-Kyong, and Assam was giving special rights within BOCOPS, and the vassals within BOCOPS were Orissa, Manchu, and Assam.
Yo! Vijayanagar IS serene, 1625
And the Transcendant One looked upon Orissa, and seing the plight of the cotton of that realm, HE asked Orissa to join Boing, and the drooling leader of Orissa did agree to this enlightened suggestion, and Orissa did become a part of Boing in 1632.
From the Book of Boing
And in those days did the Transcendant One walk the very Earth, and occasionally fly, and on HIS hiking expeditions, HE discovered many hidden mountains. The hidden mountain on the island of Manado, was discovered by HIM in 1612, and the hidden Mountain of Ganges in 1617. Truly, the ways of the Transcendant One are mysterious, but his mere presence caused the inhabitants of the hidden mountains to join Boing, and Boing was enriched by their presence.
Truly blesséd is Boing by HIS presence. By HIS will is overcome even the mightiest obstacles. Utter insanity in the Priest-King is no long-term problem as demonstrated by the Priest-King Phüntso Namgye (the exploding yak incident), and neither is a political crises, nor the allying of the Nobles with Foreign Powers, nor even severe unhappiness amongst the Peasantry, for by HIS will are surviving dissenters persuaded to be serene. Or, failing that, their inheritors.
And HE gazed beyond the infinite, and HE saw the hearts and the minds of the Sultans of Delhi, and HE realised that they were in dire need of enlightenment, and, being compassionate, HE suggested that the Priest-King Karma Tsen-Kyong claim the throne of Delhi. But the obstinate Sultans of Delhi took severe offense at compassionate Buddhism, and were very rude in their wrath, and the Transcendant One worried about their Karma, and the Karma of the subjects of Delhi.
And the senior monks attempted to comfort HIM with ancient words of wisdom, and declared, unanimously, that surely the Sultans would reach enlightenment in their own time, and they looked rather smug at the thought.
To which HE replied, that with a heavy heart HE had already declared the defensive compassionate invasion of the Sultanate of Delhi in May 1641.
YAK DUNG! went the senior monks, agreeing for once.
I just love defensive compassionate invasions! I mean, what more could you do for them?