We Come In Peace - An Ashanti AAR

[Starfury]

We Come In Peace*
An Ashanti AAR
* Because Little Brown Men just seemed inappropriate​

Why play the Ashanti? Well, if we look at their flag, we can clearly see that they must be the children of Aliens and as such have some kind of hidden superpowers. (I sure hope magic combat dice are one of them)

I can so see the family resemblance

The game will be played with IN 3.2b at very hard difficulty, all options normal except random lucky nations and I’ll edit the appropriate event to get out of the tribal gov to require 2 centralization/innovation instead of decentralization/narrowminded (which I believe is a bug in 3.2b)

The goal is to survive early game until we get European neighbors. Once we have contact, the goal will be even more to survive, and of course to westernize and reform the government so we can start the game.
Eventually, I want to unite Africa. Those wimpy, temperate Europeans can't use it anyway.


Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Exploring the landing site
Chapter 2: Even Aliens have Redshirts
Chapter 3: Silly Divided Humans
Chapter 4: Cliffhangers were invented on Alpha Centauri
Chapter 5: There's a White Hole in Africa
Chapter 6: In Africa No One Can Hear You Fast Forward
Chapter 7: Space is big, empty and boring, just like the wait for Westernization
Chapter 8: The 5th rule of AARquisition: If you write longer chapters, you have to make up fewer titles
Chapter 9: Spin up the Improbability Drive, we're jumping to the 15th Century
Chapter 10: What's Klingon for "Neighbours for Breakfast"?
Chapter 11: Salmon belongs on Mon Calamari, not Africa
Chapter 12: It's still more surprising than Luke's parentage
Chapter 13: You thought astronomical events took a long time? Try waiting for Starfury to update his AAR
Chapter 14: Uhura, please check the dictionary if "peaceful" really means full of peaces
Chapter 15: All buildup and little payoff - just like in ***
Chapter 16: Actually it's 32, not 42
Chapter 17: Go patrol the Neutral Zone while we get our ass kicked by the Borg
Chapter 18: When conquest is the easy part
Chapter 19: Recycling old storylines
Chapter 20: Engineering an Empire
Chapter 21: Proving grounds
Chapter 22: Without a little help from my friends
Chapter 23: Premature declaration
Chapter 24: 1610 - A Space Interlude
Chapter 25: Blue Alert
Chapter 26: Red Care
Chapter 27: Cleaning up our new backyard
Chapter 28: Dealing with Billy Ray the not so Great
Chapter 29: Expanding our still somewhat new backyard
Chapter 30: Finishing Old Business
Chapter 31: Indian Intermezzo
Chapter 32: Prepare the Yellow Cake, we're having a Feast
Chapter 33: District Mine, Part 2
Chapter 34: About those warnings...
Chapter 35: The little war that could
Chapter 36: Get the Vogons, we're building
Chapter 37: Seven Weeks in Spain
Chapter 38: We'll always have Parlakimidi
Chapter 39: The one where we don't declare war
Chapter 40: On the Importance of Speedy Warfare
Chapter 41: A Badboyphobiac's worst nightmare
Chapter 42: Why did I ever start naming those chapters?
Chapter 43: Kusi in the Slaughterhouse
Chapter 44: War, Interrupted
Chapter 45: Has it been 25 years already?
Chapter 46: One faith fits all
Chapter 47: Making peace ain't easy
Chapter 48: Ashanti Sightseeing
Chapter 49: Connecting people, as long as they're Ashanti
Chapter 50: Camp Ojibwa
Chapter 51: The Graveyard of Technology
Chapter 52: Never get on your tailor's bad side
Chapter 53: We Come In Peace: Now with even more BB per chapter
Chapter 54: Short Papers Mean Extra Homework
Chapter 55: Starting the Wrap-up
Chapter 56: This can't be the way
Chapter 57: You know you're winning when this is considered a failure
Chapter 58: At least it's not a clip show
Chapter 59: The final term of Yanza the Tease
Chapter 60: The two thirds of a Million Spaceman March
Chapter 61: Postbellum boredom
Chapter 62: The long mop-up
Chapter 63: We're getting close now
Chapter 64: Why a 2 Million Men army really shouldn't rely on rebel support
Chapter 65: Ending a proxy war - by proxy
Epilogue

 

[Emperor Ike]

Little Brown Men sound better

 

[Starfury]

Chapter 1: Exploring the landing site

Geography:

Our starting position is pretty clear. The entire known world (aka part of Western Africa) consists of our single Animist province right on the belly of a 11 province Sunni Mali.
So our only possible course of action will be to grab some territory from Mali (not all though, since an un-cored Mali should spawn 40’000+ Rebels in a succession crisis – not a good thing without forts) to get a bigger army and later a land border with the Europeans. This means the provinces to the northwest and Timbuktu with its 14+4 tax value will be the main targets.

Good news:

• Only one border province means at least two lost battles before we can get annexed. Maybe we can even tie up the Malinese troops in battle while a smaller army tries to overrun the rest of the country.
• Being Animist, Muslim Mali is free to attack and has tons of right religion provinces. And as long as I’m a OPM, I don’t have to mind that everyone can grab my provinces.

Bad news:

• The first war will be make or break, one enemy soldier in Kumasi means game over.
• We probably don't have a lot of time to prepare for the first war. A human Mali would probably declare war on day one.
• The first war should also come as fast as possible, before Mali can start to convert all those pagan provinces.

Court:

Here’s our mighty leader Chief Beriguwiemda I and his entourage of Great Men - or in our case - empty seats:
There was a 4 star Spymaster and a 1 star Sheriff available. Both totally useless in our quest to survive long enough for there to be a Beriguwiemda II.
Hopefully October 14 1400 will be our lucky day.

Economy:

For an OPM, we are pretty well off. Kumasi has a Base Tax of 5 and a Gold mine worth 51.2. However with 85% of our income coming from gold, we get quite a bit of inflation (0.12% / year at 0 minting). The .5 stability investment is to get the stability pop in one month. Tech investment goes into government research, though it’s pretty irrelevant right now since I expect early game inflation to drive up tech cost faster than I can invest. Once I can grab some non-gold provinces from Mali that should improve however.

Military:

We start with 1000 African Spearman and enough manpower income to recruit another one every 4 years. Mali has an army of 5000 and with their 12000 manpower will probably expand their army quite a bit. We'll definitely need lots of mercenaries for that war.
Good thing our Chief is quite the gifted leader, that will definitely be of help.

Domestic Policy:

Seems like it’s gonna be a long way till we get to westernize since we start at full decentralized.

Being fully aristocratic will of course help with our shock ratings and with recruiting a great cavalry army… by 1822 when our people have learned to ride on horseback.

Full serfdom is exactly the right thing for people that miss the unhurried attitude towards technology in the new world tech group. Cheaper infantry is nice though, especially since it’s our only unit.

Full mercantilism is probably ok. It’ll be hard to compete in foreign COTs anyway – once we get to place merchants that is..

At least we’re up to the limit towards innovative and at full land. (Which actually makes sense, since we don’t even know what an ocean is)

At some point in the future we'll move further toward Quantity and Defensive, as we'll need tons of inferior troops to throw at the enemy and as a pagan we really need our forts to hold (again, once we get to build them)

Coming up: The game will actually be unpaused

 

[phargle]

That flag is a voodoo paddle.

 

[unmerged(96639)]

*waves little voodoo paddle flag* Go Ashanti! AARs with backwater tribal nations in EU3 are especially fun, even though the odds of replicating prawnstar's jaw-dropping feats with the Cherokee people are slim. It'll be interesting to see what you'll achieve.

 

[Derdiedas]

That flag represent Umbulumag No Toe Toto - the legendary founding father of Ashanti, man with the most awesome afro in the multiverse.

 

[Tsungun]

You should keep with the alien theme for humour. I for one welcome our new alien overlords

 

[PrawnStar]

Good luck with this, I tried Ashanti but 7 games and 7 annexations in under a year put me off. Mali on the other hand...

 

[Beamed]

That flag is a voodoo paddle.

You should see it in ping-pong.

 

[Starfury]

First of all, thanks to you for the responses. This wouldn't be much fun without an audience.

@Emperor Ike
But if I put it the way I did, I can be politically correct and still get the other one out of my system

@phargle
I still see the typical big head, big eyes and small face of a Grey. However, if I get free paddles, I don't need to equip my spearmen with clubs

@Morsky
I've thought about that too. I guess I'll sorely miss cavalry and not having the Atlantic Ocean as a border probably isn't helpful either.
However, I might also be at a somewhat safe distance from the colonial storm, and having the tropical home field advantage should be really helpful.

@Derdiedas
That's a great name. And thanks to you, everyone googling it, will find my AAR.

@KingJH
I'll try, however I also won't shoehorn them into the AAR. Not too much at least

@PrawnStar
Strange, I expected to be attacked quickly too, however I just ran 10 hands off runs until Jan 1, 1401 (15 months), all on very hard without a single dow from Mali.
No idea if I'm so lucky or you were so unlucky. (Judging from my start, I guess it's the former )

@Beamed
Oh good, I'll be able to use anything that helps improve my pingpong technique in the next half century.

 

[Starfury]

Chapter 2: Even Aliens have Redshirts

Our first official action is moving our slider the first step towards centralization. Two of the three options would spell doom for our government. So without further ado:

And 48 days later:

Good thing I introduced you to the old ruler while I still could. Luckily his successor is just as unpronouncable and almost as capable as a general.

So a whole new Ashanti enters the 14xx's. We're now a United Federation of Tribes led by the Usurper Agyinamoa Akoto ... *looks at monarch stats* ... erm, the glorious Agyinamoa I.
Hail to the chief and let's all dance on Beriguwiemda's grave.

So this was quite the lucky start into the new century. Not only did we get a new and improved ruler, he also brought his own private army of 3000 men which instantly triples our military.
However, what we see in Jenna doesn't look too promising. By Mid-February we'll see how big the Malinese army has gotten.

The switch from Tribal despotism to a federation has also cut our manpower increase from 21/month to 18/month. This means our next regular unit can't be recruited before mid 1401, which will turn out to be too late for the war.
However the 10% trade efficiency bonus means our trade income skyrockets from a rounded up 0.1/month to a rounded down 0.1/month. And a bit more immediately (i.e. in the next 50 years) relevant, it removed the slider limit for innovative.


Coming up tomorrow: Am I even allowed to call that a war?

 

[Fronzel]

Not only did we get a new and improved ruler, he also brought his own private army of 3000 men which instantly triples our military.

A popular way to start an African AAR, it seems.

 

[naggy]

A popular way to start an African AAR, it seems.

Reminds me of the time I saw an OPM Golden Horde spawn pretender rebels, collapse, and get a 9-9-9 king and a 10K army. They had an instant move to Despotic Monarchy, and went on a conquering spree.

 

[Murmurandus]

This is fun.

 

[oddman]

In before you get annexed the first time

 

[Starfury]

@Fronzel
Yes, I've seen the start of Kanem Bornu's AAR. However in his case it was pretty much unavoidable and in my case it was a 50:50 case. Either the centralization move results in a pretender revolt or a stability drop (To be honest, I would probably have reloaded in the case of a peasant revolt. No more army and the tax penalty would have been a bit much for the first day...)

@naggy
If that happened to me, I'd have reloaded. Noone would have believed my luck anyway
Is it even possible to get out of tribal by a pretender revolution?

@Murmurandus
Glad to hear that.

@oddman
You could have taken your time. It seems like Mali just doesn't want to attack me
It didn't attack in the first trial run (normal difficulty, eventually took all of Mali and learned to respect the 9 province tribal limit) and it never attacked in 10 hands off runs to try to recreate PrawnStar's Ashanti experience.

 

[Starfury]

Chapter 3: Silly Divided Humans

Jan 2 1400: We get our first real mission (the first one was expanding the army, which was cancelled when the government was overthrown). And it's a nice one. Every core we get from a mission means a province less that has to be garrisonned.

In the meantime, Mali has expanded it's army to 10 000 men

Couldn't they have a more helpful mission?

Now, we have to wait for a distraction for Mali. With 10 of their provinces being wrong religion, they have currently 7% RR all over the country.

Aug 24: Poor government policies, we choose -1 stab over paying 50 ducats.
Sep 1: Stability is back to +3

Oct 14: It's Advisor day. I guess we need to hire a chair polisher.
I've considered hiring the Interest guy (there's also two 2* advisors lower), but even if we take out all 5 loans, we'd pay more on wages than we'd save on interest.

Dec 21: There seems to be more than one human faction on the planet, as we've just had our independence guaranteed by a still unknown but very palindromic Oyo.

Jan 1 1401: Mali has expanded it's army to 14 000 men. We're still at 3000, but ready to hire at least 4000 mercenaries.

Jan 23: That's our cue. A religious revolt in Bure. We start to hire 4 mercenary regiments, all our 50 ducats allow.

Mar 7: With 3 out of 4 mercenary regiments recruited, we finally declare war on Mali. We have to hurry lest they collapse too soon.

Mali still has 14 000 soldiers, hopefully soon fighting the rebels:

Mar 29: We take a loan of 31 ducats and start recruiting a fifth merc. Military Maintenance is 3.3 ducats/months and will rise even more. We're currently minting 50%. I don't want to mint 100% early on, since I'd get lots of inflation for very little money. A day later, the army arrives at Jenne.
1000 soldiers are diverted to take Timbuktu.

April: We've taken Wasuju, Timbuktu and Massina unopposed. Mali has apparently already lost 1000 men to attrition or combat.

May 1: The main army arrives at Bure, we finally see the Mali army fighting 6 rebel regiments. We divert another 1000 mercs to take the rebel occupied hinterland.

Jun 14: Another merc unit has taken Segu, Mali is still fighting the same rebels.

Jul 4: We've taken over all of Mali except for Bambuk. Mali is still fighting the same rebel stack.

With our force limit of 2, our 3000 soldiers / 5000 mercs cost us an arm and a leg. And while arms and legs may be plenty in the Mali flag, we don't have any to spare. So we offer peace and hope they accept even though they still have the bigger army:

They do and a day later Jenne becomes a core.
The westernmost Merc is disbanded, the rest of the units are sent back to the three northernmost provinces which will have 9% RR from nationalism and need to be constantly guarded if I want to get rid of the nationalism before I get the core. The remaining mercs will be gradually replaced by regular units, but for now they're still needed for guard duty.

Jul 7: We get a new mission. Building a bigger army than Mali. Why didn't I wait with disbanding the lonely western merc?

Aug 1: The game adapts to the new situation: Mali culture is accepted, we now get enough manpower for one new unit every 6 months and we have a force limit of 10 units. We've also doubled our income, mainly from Timbuktu.
We immediately recruit our fourth infantry unit.

And in case you're wondering:

Well, that was quite probably the cheapest war I've ever waged, even if it was quite expensive with all the mercenaries. The original battle plan had been to hold the enemy with my main army long enough to overrun the rest of the country, but not having to fight a single battle surprised even me. I guess the lesson to learn is that African battles go on forever.

Next up: We'll see who wins the Battle of Bambuk, and if I have to pay for my early lucky streak.

 

[unmerged(96639)]

Not a year in and already a coup. How very African. Also, way to beat the Malians (Malinese? Malish? Malicans? ) there. Timbuktu ought to pay off all the war debts in short order.

A promising start, this. Keep it up!

 

[unmerged(68652)]

Great start!
All I can think of though is that the manpower advisor really doesn't look like a Cibind Bongo

 

[unmerged(121713)]

Hahah Amazing