Chapter Twenty Seven - The Future's Bright, the Future's Oranje
As war continues against both France and Italy, the government is given a worrying report from Sokoto's Secret Police.
With Sokoto loved the world over due to her peaceful, enlightened and progressive ways the government dare not risk damaging Sokoto's great reputation by employing the secret police in this instance, thus no action is taken.
It is highly doubtful that anything will come of this anyway, the majority of the Quechua doubtless delighted with life in the highly taxed, incompetently ruled Sokot Empire. Indeed, there are a number of Quechua serving with the army at present and the government does not doubt their loyalty for a second. It is madness to suggest that anyone would consider independence from so wonderful and glorious a nation as Sokoto.
Yes, definite madness. There is absolutely no chance that anyone would wish for independence from Sokoto. No chance whatsoever. Ahem.
Mere hours later the government enact further political reform.
Ridiculous rumours that the government hurriedly enacted this reform out of fear of a possible Quechuan rebellion could not be further from the truth. As ever the government is instead solely guided by a desire to encourage further democractic freedom within Sokoto.
Research of 'Army Risk Management' comes to an end over a month later.
Following an extensive study of the armed forces Sokot academics have come to the conclusion that friendly fire, incompetent leadership and malfunctioning Sokot made weapons are the main risks currently faced by the army. The government is left understandably pleased by these findings, clearly the Sokot army is doing its best to achieve an acceptable amount of casualties, and gives the order for said risks to be 'managed' (for 'managed' read as 'magnified'). Unsurprisingly, morale within the army increases as soldiers learn that such steps have been taken.
The academics next begin research of 'Point Defense System' as both the government and the army wish for improvements to be made to the defences currently erected by the troops. The research will thus look into ingenious designs such as forts with easily detectable hidden entrances, the use of highly flammable building materials in all defensive constructions and the careful placement of large piles of explosives in positions which are susceptible to enemy fire. Such measures likely to improve the defensiveness of Sokot army constructions considerably.
A few days later and the government is given the welcome news that Sokoto's great ally, Prussia, has agreed to peace with France.
As Prussia has proven an invaluable ally in the war against France, Sokoto was quick to aid Prussia's invasion of France by hurriedly blocking the advance of said invasion. This forcing Prussia to agree to a mere white peace with France, she was entirely unable to gain the war scored required to demand Alsace-Lorraine due to Sokoto's kindly blocking her advance. Sokoto is nothing if not a wonderful ally.
With war against France and Italy progressing surprisingly well the government turn their attention to another nation. A perfidious, warmongering nation which has preyed upon one of Sokoto's closest allies, Argentina, many times before. The diplomats are sent forth.
They return several weeks later covered in bruises, many sporting black eyes. Apparently after delivering the deceleration of war to their Chilean counterparts one of Sokoto's diplomats rather irked their angry hosts by telling them to, 'Chile out'.
Whilst war begins with the diabolical Chile, Sokoto brings her war with Italy to a close over a month later.
Despite the fact that these rich, newly gained lands are isolated from Sokot territory they should prove easy to defend thanks to Sokoto's mighty navy. The city of Nice in particular likely to prove a favourite garrison location for Sokot troops, bordered as it is by two nations which have nothing but respect for Sokoto.
There is pleasing news for the government a week later as they learn that the army has adapted well to some newly introduced training.
Alongside Sokoto's ingenious 'Throw Everyone Forward And Hope For The Best' strategy, this a most brilliant tactic devised by the great Abdullah Rumfa many years before which has served Sokoto well on so many occasions, officers will now be expected to learn at least one more strategy to be used as needs dictate. This second strategy, a sophisticated and daring tactic which is known as the 'Flee For Your Lives' strategy, is now being taught to all men. As a result of this training the army has happily learned how to march a bit faster.
Whilst Sokoto valiantly fights the insidious Chile, whose five brigades would doubtless have crushed Argentina at some point in the near future but for Sokoto's intervention, the government is left feeling rather worried. Argentina is such a strong ally of Sokoto's that even with Chile vanquished it would still seem wrong to leave so faithful a friend susceptible to annexation by another warring power. There is then but one option, Sokoto need reward her ally in the best way possible. The diplomats are sent forth.
They return several weeks later looking green faced and queasy, quite sure they have been poisoned. Having politely accepted some
Argentine wine from their hosts after delivering the decleration of war, the diplomats were left instantly feeling sick after having sipped a small amount of the wine. Apparently grapes are inexplicably used to make Argentina wine, this giving it a quite horrendous taste in the diplomats opinion, entirely unfavourable in comparison to the earthy brilliance of Sokoto's mud based wines.
After almost four years of war peace with France is finally agreed a month later.
During these years of war Sokoto's soldiers have suffered dreadfully due to the nightmarish siege conditions they were forced to heroically endure. Many of them left greviously wounded with horrific injuries such as gout following the forced consumption of lovely French food and drink.
Thankfully though due to their great sacrifice Sokoto has made some significant gains, her font size increasing considerably, much to the delight of the government. The increase in font size proves rather too much for the Prime Minister, who is led to a darkened room for some relaxation after his having become overly excited upon viewing Sokoto's new font.
Whilst France's prescence in Africa has been lessened significantly following this peace deal, the government quickly learn that France is currently busy colonising parts of Northwestern Africa.
Whilst this is unfortunate there is some far better news as reports also indicate that Prussia is currently colonising the province of Benin, which is in direct contact with Sokoto's heartlands. Gaining Prussia as a neighbour should prove beneficial for both parties, as Prussia will doubtless be hugely grateful to Sokoto for Sokoto's repeatedly aiding her in recent wars against both France and Egypt.
Many months later and finally Sokoto is at peace one more, as war comes to an end with both Chile and Argentina.
These peace deals are cause for celebration for Sokoto's staunch ally, Argentina. Not only has her nemesis the menacing Chile at long last been annexed by Sokoto, this ensuring her safety until her truce with Sokoto runs out, uh, this ensuring her safety for all time that is. She has also had her strong ties to Sokoto further strengthened following Sokoto's selfless acceptance of Corrientes into the Empire. Truly Argentina is hugely lucky to have so astoundingly stupendous an ally.
A few weeks later and the government is left baffled after being informed that some common riff-raff in Mocambique believe they deserve adequate working conditions, this something their trade unions are inexplicably demanding.
Bringing their usual impartiality and fairness to this decision, the government side with the rich capitalists in agreeing that union busting tactics need be allowed in this instance. The government reaching this decision due to very convincing bribes made by the capitalists. That is, the government reaching this decision due to the very convincing arguments made by the capitalists.
After all these common oiks have no justification for demanding better working conditions when they are already given minimal pay, no time off, they are forced to work eighteen hour days and they are given no pension or healthcare rights. Clearly these workers are being pampered and have no right to complain about their working conditions.
A few months later and research into 'Point Defense System' comes to an end.
Both the government and the army are happy with the results of this new training, Sokoto's soldiers now able to construct some truly formidable defences. Admittedly said defensive works offer little by way of protection as they are highly likely to catch fire or explode at any given time, but it is due to this that they prove such excellent defences. As both Sokot and enemy soldiers alike keep well away from these deathtraps.
Research of 'Deep Defense System' begins next at the request of the army's officers. Sokoto's courageous officers requesting this research as they have long wished for a defence system which will allow them to hide, uh, station themselve within forts many miles from the battlefield, deep within friendly territory, whilst bravely directing matters from afar.
Following months of peace the government find themselves desperately needing to start a new conflict. Without war to distract them, the many people liberated by Sokoto over the years have become increasingly fractious, many of them inexplicably unhappy at being part of a nation which prizes incompetence above all else. The diplomats are thus hurriedly sent forth before rebellion grips the nation.
They return several months later looking desperately ill and still retching, entirely sure they have been poisoned once again. Having accepted the offer of a meal from their British hosts after delivering the decleration of war, they had happily eaten a number of regional delicacies from accross Britain before trying something called 'haggis'. The diplomats are still unsure exactly what this strange dish is, other than most likely a form of torture.
Whilst Britain represents the strongest foe Sokoto has faced thus far the government are still blithely confident regarding Sokoto's chances. Not only does Sokoto's army of just over three hundred brigades outnumber the British army considerably, Kumbari Kabe has composed a rousing poem so as to boost the morale of the nation for the coming war.
Our army is courageous,
Our navy masters of the sea,
Our government is as competent as can be.
Alas however I can see no victory,
Britain is too strong a foe,
I feel of this war we should have said no.
I must include that I am a fantastically gifted poet,
Who has always felt Britain the best nation in the world,
I look forward to when the Union Jack is brought to Sokoto's capital and unfurled.
For I am ready to work for our wonderful soon to be British overlords,
My poetic ability ready to further Britan's glory,
For of Sokoto I feel it is the end of her story.
With both the nation and Sokoto's mighty army suitably enthused by so moving a poem clearly nothing but victory awaits Sokoto. Britain has no chance whatsoever, Sokoto will canter to victory in this war.
Ah.
This could prove difficult. Still, at least Sokoto has the stronger navy.