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"Yours annexingly, Sokoto" I definitely laughed out loud at this.
 
I laugh hard at the mental image of thousand badly armed/dressed XIXth century african troops sacking and burning France. Soon the crescent will hang from the roofs of the Vatican and London!
 
Excellent progress, and I especially loved the latest poem! Such rousing sentiment! :D
 
Sokotch is definitely my favourite tipple.

A couple of notes from my reading through.

First your sphering of Persia was a bug that was triggered by the tensions event. There are various bugs in influence added by event and one of them results in inappropriate sphering. Its usual for it to happen a couple of times a game and the other way you see it is when it results in a sphereling being in several GPs spheres simultaneously.

Second: are you deliberately paying way over the odds for your military? Take a look at you budget screen, add up the officers plus the soldiers pay and notice just how much less that is than the total wage bill. You are also paying the same amount extra on military supplies. Its a consequence of having less bureaucrats than your reforms require. If you have only 30% the bureaucrats you should, then all military costs are increased by 70%.

Careful with future South American conquests. Sokot South America is pleasingly ramrod straight up the Andes. It would be a shame if it was to go all floppy as a result of territorial rearrangements.
 
Thank you profusely for the replies!

wzhang29 - Thank you for the kind words (your bribe is en route!) and thank you for the message of good luck! Although really Sokoto needs no luck against Britain when she has so mighty a navy!

Vaya con Queso - They had best appreciate Sokoto's great work on their behalf! Of course, Sokoto will doubtless 'reward' her good ally Prussia in due course.

Anjwalker - I was rather worried that Kabe's poem would prove rather too fitting myself! Thankfully things are going relatively well thus far, due to Sokoto's mighty navy and the AI's love of attacking over straits.

loki100 - Many thanks for the kind words (yet another bribe is in the post!). I cannot agree more regarding Sokoto, she truly is the best ally in the world. As for the devious French colonisation of Africa, such land will be liberated in due course, for the good of the people being oppressed by the evil French occupiers and, far more importantly, for yet more font! As for Britain, things are going surprisingly well despite their having deployed a number of highly skilled officers against Sokoto.

Marshall Daub - I'm very glad you like my woeful attempts at humour, thanks for the kind words (a bribe is on way to you!).

thekinguter - Indeed it shall! But far more importantly than the Crescent hanging in London and the Vatican, Sokoto's font will hopefully soon cover the world!

Selzro - A great many thanks for the kind words (another bribe is en route to you!).

loki100 - Thank you once again (a half dozen more bribes are on the way!).

Tallfellow - Many, many thanks for the kind words (a bribe is in the post!).

Zvetiki - Thank you for the kind words (the bribe is en route!). I'm much the same as yourself in that I rather struggled with V1, easily one of the most complex games I ever played, and I was thus a bit wary of buying V2. I'm very glad that I did though as this game is far more accomodating than the first, although I still struggle with it most of the time, and I heartily recommend giving it a go.

The Arch Mede - Thanks for clearing up the Persia sphering mystery, I was quite sure I'd stupidly added them to my sphere somehow rather than it being a bug. It has proven rather irksome too, I've been wanting to take chunks out of them for some time!

As for the budget, as is probably very clear from reading this AAR thus far my approach to this game is rather haphazard at best and I am really not very good when it comes to the economic side of things (as my near bankruptcy earlier when ordering too many guard brigades showed!). Thus thanks for pointing out that I have too few bureaucrats at present, I'll increase spending for that forthwith!

With regards to Sokoto's South American font, I cannot agree more! I hope to keep said font straight and erect for as long as possible. Admittedly keeping it straight and erect is making the Prime Minister rather flustered.

Apologies for another delay between updates (although I am quite sure everyone is likely glad when the forum is spared my drivel for a few weeks!), the delay was partially my fault. Hearts beat Celtic in the Scottish Cup semi-final last week setting up a cup final match against our derby rivals Hibs in the process and I rather enthusiastically celebrated this win (as loki was so right to deduce). However I've also had considerable computer problems over the last week, my barely functioning pile of rust only finally repaired on Saturday.

As one final note the ACAs are currently running at present. I've never before advertised them in any of my AARs as I'm not a fan of self-promotion, and I hasten to add I am not doing so now in the hope of gaining any votes for this AAR (you'd have to be mad to vote for this pile of tripe!). Instead I've been understandably asked by a prominent mod to add a quick mention to them in this AAR so as to hopefully boost participation in the ACAs. The ACAs are a great way to uncover new AARs and help bring this wonderful forum together, thus please head over to the thread and vote for a few AARs if you have the time!

Anyway, my PC seems to be fine now, thus onwards with the update!
 
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Chapter Twenty Eight - Rule Sokoto! Sokoto Rule the Waves

Following long seconds of training, many trying minutes of preperation, countless hours at sea and challenging days spent deciding upon which fashionable pink and green uniform best suits them, Sokoto's brave and gifted naval officers are ready to finally face a foe worthy of their attention. They are ready to face the British navy.

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Displaying the customary brilliance required of all Sokot naval officers the Sokot fleet reaches the western coast of mainland Britain having suffered minimal losses during the difficult journey from Sokot Spain to the British mainland, a mere half of shps sinking during the voyage. That losses have been kept so low is truly astounding considering the Sokot navy had to battle horrendous conditions such as calm seas, sunny weather and a favourable breeze throughout the journey.

As Sokoto's green faced troops hurriedly disembark from their ships on to Ireland, their green faces, caused due to seasickness, a fitting shade of green for their entry on to the Emerald Isle, the government is given some welcome news.

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Unsurprisingly Sokoto's old friend and ally, Russia, has rushed to Sokoto's aid. Russia is undoubtedly envious of Sokoto's close alliance with Argentina and likely hopes to forge the same strong links with Sokoto via providing aid to her in this conflict.

A few weeks later and Sokoto's forces have all of Ireland under siege, having somehow overcome a handful of hastily mobilised reservists led by the brilliantly skilled General No Leader.

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Understandably Britain left Sokoto's landing of troops in Ireland entirely uncontested. This little surprise as it hardly as if the British navy is anywhere near strong enough to battle with Sokoto's mighty fleet.

This proven beyond doubt a few days later as said mighty Sokot fleet performs stupendously in battle whilst desperately fleeing, uh, cleverly withdrawing that is, to safe harbour in Sokot Spain.

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The government is naturally pleased with this impressive showing from the Sokoto navy, but slightly perturbed by the reports showing that Britain lost more ships than Sokoto. This because high casualties are always rightly sought by Sokoto in battles, be they on land or at sea.

Whilst Sokoto's navy is performing fantastically at sea, and the bulk of her forces in Europe are busy besieging Ireland, news reaches the government from Sokoto's African front.

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In a show of strategic brilliance Britain is stripping her South African holdings of all troops, marching them into uninhabited wasteland rather than have them defend her lands against Sokoto's advancing forces. Truly Britain is proving a most cunning foe.

In a further showing of cunning Britain makes a well timed attack from Glasgow over the strait into Belfast, whilst not having yet mustered all of her forces in mainland Britain. Quite why Britain is rushing on to the offensive when she has not yet gathered all of her forces in Glasgow is puzzling. That is until Sokoto's officers realise that the British forces can either rush into battle with Sokoto's army in Belfast or reside in Glasgow for the next few weeks whilst waiting for the rest of her troops to gather. Battle is always preferable to residing in Glasgow for any length of time.

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Whilst Britain is thus attacking into Belfast with less numbers than should otherwise be the case, she has picked her moment of attack well. This because a number of Sokoto's troops in Ireland are currently suffering from grevious injuries as a result of siege duty. Grevious injuries such as suffering from a battered self-esteem caused by Irish citizens inexplicably insulting their dashing pink and green uniforms.

With battle met in Belfast the government is forced to concede that Britain has clearly done her research into how best to defeat Sokoto well.

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This clearly the case as Britain has undoubtedly studied Sokoto's various wars against Egypt, Italy and Japan and noted how successful such attacks accross straits proved in each of these campaigns.

With Britain rushing ever more reinforcements to Belfast, the battle surprisingly going badly for them, it almost as if Britain's decision to attack over a strait into a sizeable force led by a skilled general in an easily defensible, entrenched position with a mere few recently mobilised reserves was a bad idea, a small Sokot unit retreats from the battle into Glasgow.

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Naturally Britain has left Glasgow entirely undefended and the strait crossing from Belfast to Glasgow entirely unguarded, the British fleet still unsurprisingly scared of Sokoto's mighty fleet following the battle of Celtic Sea. Leaving Glasgow and said strait undefended is an entirely understandable decision from Britain, it not as if Sokoto cutting off the only line of retreat for Britain's force in Belfast via the capture of Glasgow is anything for her to worry about.

At the last moment Britain rush troops forward to defend Glasgow.

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Said troops are a locally raised force, half of whom wear blue uniforms, the other half green and white hooped uniforms, both brigades surprisingly more interested in fighting one and other rather than Sokoto's invading force. Rumfa need be careful when engaging this army nonetheless as Britain has somehow found another officer even more talented than the gifted General No Leader, the great No Commander leading this force. If Rumfa can merely hold on for long enough though, Britain's army in Belfast should end up crushed.

Whilst the Glaswegian troops heroically attempt to stave off Sokoto's invasion of Scotland, whilst making sure to attack one and other with equal ferocity, mere miles away in Edinburgh a twelve thousand strong recently mobilised reservist force stands by gleefully enjoying the destruction of their close city neighbours. It is not for no reason that Edinburgh men have a reputation for bravery and helpfulness.

As battles continue in Belfast and Glasgow the government is left hugely relieved upon learning that Britain's attempt to march troops from South Africa into uninhabited wasteland has been thwarted, Abasama gaining a convincing victory at Kimberley.

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The goverment is however left worried by reports that Britain is continuing to persist with this stupendously daring and brilliant strategy, another six thousand troops spotted marching north from Calvinia into the desolate region of Dikathong.

Surprisingly marching her troops stationed in South Africa into barren wastelands is not the only strategy Britain has adopted on this front, as she is also cleverly sending recently mobilised, and thus still demoralised, reservists on to the attack into a mountainous region which heavily favours the defending Sokot forces, who had been busy besieging Oranje.

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The government can merely hope that Sokoto's forces in the African theatre are able to survive these well coordinated and brilliantly executed attacks.

A few weeks later and the government is given some hugely disappointing news from Belfast.

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With Sokoto's forces in Glasgow able to survive for long enough, Rumfa has secured a thumping victory in Belfast which has caused the annihilation of the majority of Britain's forces stationed on the British Isles. Understandably Britain made no effort to rescue any of the men trapped in Belfast by moving transport ships to the Irish Sea, it not as if Britain has a navy large enough to accomodate such a rescue operation.

Whilst pleased with this victory the government cannot help but feel unimpressed by the pathetically low amount of casualties Sokoto has suffered in comparison to Britain. Following Sokoto's recent embarrassing performance in her war against France the government had been desperately hoping that the issue of a lack of casualties would finally be addressed.

Following Britain's defeat in Belfast Sokoto's troops stationed in Ireland begin the unenviable task of invading Scotland. Many Sokot soldiers quickly left horrified beyond belief and questioning quite why the Sokot government think it worthwhile invading a rain sodden craphole of a nation filled as it is with backwards, workshy, drunken natives.

As said invasion takes place the government is given some puzzling news.

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Naturally in so fair and democratic a nation as Sokoto all voters are free to vote for whoever they wish, provided they vote for the ruling Conservative party. As the government remains eager to promote democratic freedom above all else they quickly decide to imprison, uh, house the farmer within a state-run facility for three months so as to brainwash, uhm, re-educate the poor man. Sokoto is nothing if not a free and fair nation.

The government is happy that they have dealt with this matter deftly and the large crowd which is gathering outside parliament seems to be tastament to this. Said crowd doubtless mustering so as to cheer the government for having made another brilliant decision in imprisoning, uh, housing this dissident. It simply slightly surprising that the majority of this 'cheering' crowd seem to be shouting abuse at the government, many waving placards calling for their instant dismissal.

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A day later and the government quickly enact further political reform. Once again the government's wish to promote democratic freedom within Sokoto remains their only motivation in passing this legislation. Outrageous claims that the government hurriedly enacted this legislation due to a fear of rebellion following massive demonstrations outside parliament the day before clearly scurrilous lies.

Mere days later and the government is informed of an acceptable Sokot victory in Edinburgh.

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Not only has the last sizeable British force in mainland Britain now been defeated, Sokoto has also lost an acceptable amount of casualties in this battle. It little surprise that Sokoto has suffered such high casualties as Britain appointed one of her most skilled generals to the defence of the British Isles, the elderly and unsound General Seymour.

Following Seymour's defeat Sokoto's troops begin the much dreaded task of besieging Scotland.

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Many troops quickly suffering grevious injuries as a result of said siege duty, as the drunken locals fondness for kissing anyone they come into contact with quickly claims many victims. That Sokoto's troops wear fashionable pink and green uniforms only serves to exacerbate the situation.

Despite the suffering of the troops stationed in Scotland, most of the people within the glorious Sokot Empire are understandably proud of both the army and navy's exploits in the war against Britain thus far. Kumbari Kabe neatly capturing the mood of the nation with his most recent, epic piece of work.

When Sokoto first, at the Conservative party's command,
Was founded within mud brown borders;
This was the start of tyranny of the land,
And the Conservative party stated their orders:

Rule Sokoto!
Sokoto rule the waves,
Britons ever, ever, ever shall be slaves.

Other nations not as blessed as we,
Must in turn be liberated via annexation;
Whilst we flourish great and free,
Such liberation saves conquered nations from stagnation.

Rule Sokoto!
Sokoto rule the waves,
The Ottomans ever, ever, ever shall be slaves.

Ever more glorious we become,
More mighty with each victorious war;
And of allies we have many a chum,
Our diplomats all adore.

Rule Sokoto!
Sokoto rule the waves,
Italians ever, ever, ever shall be slaves.

The Conservative party, still with greatness on show,
Shall make the Empire ever glorious;
Oh wonderous land with safari hunts in flow,
And armies always victorious.

Rule Sokoto!
Sokoto rule the waves,
The French ever, ever, ever shall be slaves.

With so mighty and invincible an army and navy, and so brilliant a poet at her command, it is clear that Sokoto will enjoy nothing but success.

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Well, provided she can continue to prove victorious against Britain's supremely gifted generals that is.
 
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Brilliant! How did the UK manage to botch the defence of their home waters so badly? By this point in the game, they should have hundreds of ships, yet they only sent out 6... were they at least ironclads?

Will the UK and Russia become Chile and Argentina on a far larger scale? Can Sokot poetry attain the necessary epicness to describe such a titanic struggle? I am in awe...
 
I've never fought the UK on such a large scale, but I would assume that occupying the British Isles would be enough to force them to give up their African possessions, and then some. At least, I hope so; having to invade India/Mordor would be a nightmare.
At least the AI hasn't been fort-spamming.

Glad to hear that you're still alive, and that this AAR will be able to continue with more regular updates.
Keep fighting the good fight!
 
Lucky you struck Britain at this time, in 30 years they would have quadrupled their forces with the assimilation of the Indian colonies into states.

Epic victory so far. Very surprising.
 
Russia is undoubtedly envious of Sokoto's close alliance with Argentina and likely hopes to forge the same strong links with Sokoto via providing aid to her in this conflict.

aye, you'd think by now most of the world was already aware of the wonderful fate that awaits Sokoto's allies

Battle is always preferable to residing in Glasgow for any length of time.

didnae realise there was that much of a difference

And you really should recruit General Seymour when this is all over, he has the traits needed for a top class Sokoto general
 
Gilbert and Sullivan are obviously vile plagiarisers of Sokoto's celebrated playwright Kabe.
 
FOR SOKOTO AND MONEY I mean FREEDOM!

It would be interesting to see Sokoto as a Fascist or Communist Nation.
 
FOR SOKOTO AND MONEY I mean FREEDOM!

It would be interesting to see Sokoto as a Fascist or Communist Nation.
A Communist Sokoto? Think of the nightmare of manually managing factories across all those states...
Fascism might be more agreeable, though. You can never have too much jingo!
 
Those two will never be as much fun as the true democracy that is the Sokoto schoolclass. Or: Those two will never be as much fun as the Sokoto schoolclass that is the Sokoto Democracy.
 
Top work my son. Your cup overfloweth - like most great artists, you excel yourself when you write about what you know!

And also interesting to see what Scotland looks like in V2. Wish We had that many provinces in EUIII.

I feel the need to provide some clarification, though...

Battle is always preferable to residing in Glasgow for any length of time.

Sigh. Ye soft eastern buggers'll ne'er unnerstaun the west. It isnae preferable. It's jis inevitable that ye'll get involved in wan.

Scene: Argyll Street, Glasgow
Pompous Edinbugger: I'm going to stand here and read my newspaper.
Fine Upstanding Glaswegian: Haw you yabass. You fae Embra?
PE: Why, yes, I am in fact from Edin...
FUG: Ah'm gonnae boot ye!
PE: But why would...
FUG boots PE

Nothing happens in Glasgow without a reason.
 
Nice invasion. Though it is sad to see yet another disappointing AI navy show. At least they could hard-code the British AI to 'search and destroy' no matter the circumstances, as Britain is always likely to have tons of ships anyway.

Your cup overfloweth...

Indeed, like the victorious Sokot soldiers I imagine him getting drunk with Pink & Green Rusty Nails (1 part Scotch, 1 part Sokotch, 1 part Drambuie) :D