Chapter Twenty Eight - Rule Sokoto! Sokoto Rule the Waves
Following long seconds of training, many trying minutes of preperation, countless hours at sea and challenging days spent deciding upon which fashionable pink and green uniform best suits them, Sokoto's brave and gifted naval officers are ready to finally face a foe worthy of their attention. They are ready to face the British navy.
Displaying the customary brilliance required of all Sokot naval officers the Sokot fleet reaches the western coast of mainland Britain having suffered minimal losses during the difficult journey from Sokot Spain to the British mainland, a mere half of shps sinking during the voyage. That losses have been kept so low is truly astounding considering the Sokot navy had to battle horrendous conditions such as calm seas, sunny weather and a favourable breeze throughout the journey.
As Sokoto's green faced troops hurriedly disembark from their ships on to Ireland, their green faces, caused due to seasickness, a fitting shade of green for their entry on to the Emerald Isle, the government is given some welcome news.
Unsurprisingly Sokoto's old friend and ally, Russia, has rushed to Sokoto's aid. Russia is undoubtedly envious of Sokoto's close alliance with Argentina and likely hopes to forge the same strong links with Sokoto via providing aid to her in this conflict.
A few weeks later and Sokoto's forces have all of Ireland under siege, having somehow overcome a handful of hastily mobilised reservists led by the brilliantly skilled General No Leader.
Understandably Britain left Sokoto's landing of troops in Ireland entirely uncontested. This little surprise as it hardly as if the British navy is anywhere near strong enough to battle with Sokoto's mighty fleet.
This proven beyond doubt a few days later as said mighty Sokot fleet performs stupendously in battle whilst desperately fleeing, uh, cleverly withdrawing that is, to safe harbour in Sokot Spain.
The government is naturally pleased with this impressive showing from the Sokoto navy, but slightly perturbed by the reports showing that Britain lost more ships than Sokoto. This because high casualties are always rightly sought by Sokoto in battles, be they on land or at sea.
Whilst Sokoto's navy is performing fantastically at sea, and the bulk of her forces in Europe are busy besieging Ireland, news reaches the government from Sokoto's African front.
In a show of strategic brilliance Britain is stripping her South African holdings of all troops, marching them into uninhabited wasteland rather than have them defend her lands against Sokoto's advancing forces. Truly Britain is proving a most cunning foe.
In a further showing of cunning Britain makes a well timed attack from Glasgow over the strait into Belfast, whilst not having yet mustered all of her forces in mainland Britain. Quite why Britain is rushing on to the offensive when she has not yet gathered all of her forces in Glasgow is puzzling. That is until Sokoto's officers realise that the British forces can either rush into battle with Sokoto's army in Belfast or reside in Glasgow for the next few weeks whilst waiting for the rest of her troops to gather. Battle is always preferable to residing in Glasgow for any length of time.
Whilst Britain is thus attacking into Belfast with less numbers than should otherwise be the case, she has picked her moment of attack well. This because a number of Sokoto's troops in Ireland are currently suffering from grevious injuries as a result of siege duty. Grevious injuries such as suffering from a battered self-esteem caused by Irish citizens inexplicably insulting their dashing pink and green uniforms.
With battle met in Belfast the government is forced to concede that Britain has clearly done her research into how best to defeat Sokoto well.
This clearly the case as Britain has undoubtedly studied Sokoto's various wars against Egypt, Italy and Japan and noted how successful such attacks accross straits proved in each of these campaigns.
With Britain rushing ever more reinforcements to Belfast, the battle surprisingly going badly for them, it almost as if Britain's decision to attack over a strait into a sizeable force led by a skilled general in an easily defensible, entrenched position with a mere few recently mobilised reserves was a bad idea, a small Sokot unit retreats from the battle into Glasgow.
Naturally Britain has left Glasgow entirely undefended and the strait crossing from Belfast to Glasgow entirely unguarded, the British fleet still unsurprisingly scared of Sokoto's mighty fleet following the battle of Celtic Sea. Leaving Glasgow and said strait undefended is an entirely understandable decision from Britain, it not as if Sokoto cutting off the only line of retreat for Britain's force in Belfast via the capture of Glasgow is anything for her to worry about.
At the last moment Britain rush troops forward to defend Glasgow.
Said troops are a locally raised force,
half of whom wear blue uniforms, the other half green and white hooped uniforms, both brigades surprisingly more interested in fighting one and other rather than Sokoto's invading force. Rumfa need be careful when engaging this army nonetheless as Britain has somehow found another officer even more talented than the gifted General No Leader, the great No Commander leading this force. If Rumfa can merely hold on for long enough though, Britain's army in Belfast should end up crushed.
Whilst the Glaswegian troops heroically attempt to stave off Sokoto's invasion of Scotland, whilst making sure to attack one and other with equal ferocity, mere miles away in Edinburgh a twelve thousand strong recently mobilised reservist force stands by gleefully enjoying the destruction of their close city neighbours. It is not for no reason that Edinburgh men have a reputation for bravery and helpfulness.
As battles continue in Belfast and Glasgow the government is left hugely relieved upon learning that Britain's attempt to march troops from South Africa into uninhabited wasteland has been thwarted, Abasama gaining a convincing victory at Kimberley.
The goverment is however left worried by reports that Britain is continuing to persist with this stupendously daring and brilliant strategy, another six thousand troops spotted marching north from Calvinia into the desolate region of Dikathong.
Surprisingly marching her troops stationed in South Africa into barren wastelands is not the only strategy Britain has adopted on this front, as she is also cleverly sending recently mobilised, and thus still demoralised, reservists on to the attack into a mountainous region which heavily favours the defending Sokot forces, who had been busy besieging Oranje.
The government can merely hope that Sokoto's forces in the African theatre are able to survive these well coordinated and brilliantly executed attacks.
A few weeks later and the government is given some hugely disappointing news from Belfast.
With Sokoto's forces in Glasgow able to survive for long enough, Rumfa has secured a thumping victory in Belfast which has caused the annihilation of the majority of Britain's forces stationed on the British Isles. Understandably Britain made no effort to rescue any of the men trapped in Belfast by moving transport ships to the Irish Sea, it not as if Britain has a navy large enough to accomodate such a rescue operation.
Whilst pleased with this victory the government cannot help but feel unimpressed by the pathetically low amount of casualties Sokoto has suffered in comparison to Britain. Following Sokoto's recent embarrassing performance in her war against France the government had been desperately hoping that the issue of a lack of casualties would finally be addressed.
Following Britain's defeat in Belfast Sokoto's troops stationed in Ireland begin the unenviable task of invading Scotland. Many Sokot soldiers quickly left horrified beyond belief and questioning quite why the Sokot government think it worthwhile invading a rain sodden craphole of a nation filled as it is with backwards, workshy, drunken natives.
As said invasion takes place the government is given some puzzling news.
Naturally in so fair and democratic a nation as Sokoto all voters are free to vote for whoever they wish, provided they vote for the ruling Conservative party. As the government remains eager to promote democratic freedom above all else they quickly decide to imprison, uh, house the farmer within a state-run facility for three months so as to brainwash, uhm, re-educate the poor man. Sokoto is nothing if not a free and fair nation.
The government is happy that they have dealt with this matter deftly and the large crowd which is gathering outside parliament seems to be tastament to this. Said crowd doubtless mustering so as to cheer the government for having made another brilliant decision in imprisoning, uh, housing this dissident. It simply slightly surprising that the majority of this 'cheering' crowd seem to be shouting abuse at the government, many waving placards calling for their instant dismissal.
A day later and the government quickly enact further political reform. Once again the government's wish to promote democratic freedom within Sokoto remains their only motivation in passing this legislation. Outrageous claims that the government hurriedly enacted this legislation due to a fear of rebellion following massive demonstrations outside parliament the day before clearly scurrilous lies.
Mere days later and the government is informed of an acceptable Sokot victory in Edinburgh.
Not only has the last sizeable British force in mainland Britain now been defeated, Sokoto has also lost an acceptable amount of casualties in this battle. It little surprise that Sokoto has suffered such high casualties as Britain appointed one of her most skilled generals to the defence of the British Isles, the elderly and unsound General Seymour.
Following Seymour's defeat Sokoto's troops begin the much dreaded task of besieging Scotland.
Many troops quickly suffering grevious injuries as a result of said siege duty, as the drunken locals fondness for
kissing anyone they come into contact with quickly claims many victims. That Sokoto's troops wear fashionable pink and green uniforms only serves to exacerbate the situation.
Despite the suffering of the troops stationed in Scotland, most of the people within the glorious Sokot Empire are understandably proud of both the army and navy's exploits in the war against Britain thus far. Kumbari Kabe neatly capturing the mood of the nation with his most recent, epic piece of work.
When Sokoto first, at the Conservative party's command,
Was founded within mud brown borders;
This was the start of tyranny of the land,
And the Conservative party stated their orders:
Rule Sokoto!
Sokoto rule the waves,
Britons ever, ever, ever shall be slaves.
Other nations not as blessed as we,
Must in turn be liberated via annexation;
Whilst we flourish great and free,
Such liberation saves conquered nations from stagnation.
Rule Sokoto!
Sokoto rule the waves,
The Ottomans ever, ever, ever shall be slaves.
Ever more glorious we become,
More mighty with each victorious war;
And of allies we have many a chum,
Our diplomats all adore.
Rule Sokoto!
Sokoto rule the waves,
Italians ever, ever, ever shall be slaves.
The Conservative party, still with greatness on show,
Shall make the Empire ever glorious;
Oh wonderous land with safari hunts in flow,
And armies always victorious.
Rule Sokoto!
Sokoto rule the waves,
The French ever, ever, ever shall be slaves.
With so mighty and invincible an army and navy, and so brilliant a poet at her command, it is clear that Sokoto will enjoy nothing but success.
Well, provided she can continue to prove victorious against Britain's supremely gifted generals that is.