• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

naggy

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We need two competitions: Biggest Font, and Most Instances of Country Name on the map. Seeing "SOKOTO" in 40 different places is almost as impressive as it being visible from Jupiter by the naked eye.
 

sprites

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Mobilize all troops!
Oh , hausa populations are dwarfed by french ones!
 

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Well this should be fun. I'll just sit here sipping champagne and nibbling on a croissant while you go about conquering things.
 

LordTempest

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You mean you actually declared war on France? What a glutton for punishment you are...
 

aldriq

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We need two competitions: Biggest Font, and Most Instances of Country Name on the map. Seeing "SOKOTO" in 40 different places is almost as impressive as it being visible from Jupiter by the naked eye.
Surely the tigerskins are already visible from Jupiter....
 

Selzro

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Finally, a South American font fit for Sokoto! I sure hope you planned this French adventure through. Looks like they've got a million men in arms across the Pyrenees...
 

Fyregecko

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Always good, but you're on top form in this update. A reminder of why I'm not supposed to read the forum while at work.

Firstly, permission is granted to some of Sokoto's academics to begin excavating The Valley of Kings. The government hope that the academics will make discoveries which bring prestige to Sokoto. Eygptian complaints that this excavation is little more than the organised looting of their historic artifacts could not be further from the truth. Admittedly some of these discoveries may end up in the homes of various cabinet members, or may even be sold to increase the Conservatie party's 'Bribery Fund', but this is entirely acceptable and far from mere looting.
Wonder where David Cameron is holidaying this year...




Despite being disappointed at not having found the source of the Nile, the geographers are happy to report that the source is definetly nowhere in the Caribbean. Instead they have a suspicion the source could be located somewhere in Hawaii, thus they request further funding which is happily given. Several brave government ministers selflessly volunteer to join the expedition to Hawaii also.
A nation of dauntless, intrepid adventurers, braving the sunshine and cocktails of outrageous fortune.


Whilst the bulk of the geographers set sail for Hawaii alongside numerous members of cabinet, a sole geographer quickly became quite lost in his attempts to reach Hawaii, somehow ending up in Central Africa where he stumbled accross a large lake. Quickly determing this as the actual source of the Nile, a fact which confused him considerably, it seeming impossible that the source of the Nile would actually be somewhere within Africa, he found a native and, speaking to said native loudly and slowly whilst pointing towards the lake, asked him what the lake is called. Recording the native's response, the souce of the Nile is now known as 'Just Some Lake Wait Is That A CrocodilAAAAAAARGH'.
Always wondered how the mighty city of Croc-al-d'Aargh got its name. Educational as well as hilarious.
 

unmerged(351041)

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Ah, at last a true challenge for mighty Sokoto.
Defeat the French and claim what is rightfully someone else's!
 

morningSIDEr

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Thank you profusely for the replies!

loki100 - The Prussians have learned that in Sokoto the hunter truly becomes the hunted! I agree with regards to the font in South America, it is looking far better but hopefully it can yet be increased in size a bit more. How right you are with regards to France. Brigade and ship numbers mean little in comparison to the most important matter in warfare; clothing.

Juan_de_Marco - I was rather taken shocked by the number of brigades they had upon mobilisation but I welcome war with them every five years! I'll need to war with all of the colonial powers multiple times before Africa is 'liberated' into Sokoto's welcoming embrace after all.

naggy - Quite so! Naturally, as with Cheney, the hunting incident was a complete accident. *cough*

Caezaire - Very true! Both the rampant warmonger Chile and Sokoto's great ally, Argentina, will have to be absorbed into the Sokot Empire so as to allow Sokoto's font to increase to the fullest extent. In doing so the great threat Chile poses the world will finally be ended and Argentina will at last gain the protection she deserves from her wonderful ally.

naggy - I cannot agree more! Sadly though, considering the skill of the average Sokot cartographer the only way to find Sokoto on a map will be via use of a magnifying glass held over the Pacific Ocean.

sprites - Alas they are indeed! Thankfully though whilst France has an advantage in terms of numbers, skilled leaders, better technology, a stronger economy and a competent government she does not have pink uniforms. Sokoto is thus in the stronger position!

TonyJoe - I could do with several glasses of champagne, or perhaps something stronger, having played through the war thus far! Some of the defeats Sokoto has suffered are truly strange. Well, strange that is until the calibre of the average Sokot officer is taken into account!

Tanzhang (譚張) - It was either that or wait for them to declare war upon Sokoto in a few months time!

aldriq - Sadly not quite yet but the recently ordered neon pink tigerskins should do the trick. Fashionable and highly visible, who needs camouflage on the battlefield?

Selzro - Quite right regarding the font in South America although as Caezaire was kind enough to point out, it need be enlarged yet further! I did have something of a plan for war against France and it seems to be going well thus far, really though it is AI stupidity handing me the advantage (which is just as well as if it was left to my playing ability alone I'd have been annexed long ago)!

Fyregecko - A great many thanks for the kind words (yet another bribe is en route!). Sokoto truly is a nation of brave, intrepid and astoundingly well dressed adventurers. Without her doughty explorers the world would be a far worse, far less pink place!

Vaya con Queso - Exactly so! Sokoto is always willing to selflessly liberate land which is rightly owned by another!
 

morningSIDEr

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Chapter Twenty Four - The Thin Pink Line

With the war now underway the government cannot help but think they have forgotten about something.


Oh. It may have been a good idea to refrain from declaring war upon France until she had removed her sizeable force from the newly acquired Philippines. It may have been an even better idea to refrain from beginning work on forts within the province, which is now likely to fall long before their completion.

Setting aside this slight mishap the first reports filter through of Sokot troops meeting the French in battle.


Rather worryingly France have appointed a gifted commander to this first attack, Gallieni a skilled, attack minded general. Far more worryingly General Rumfa is rather competent himself. Thankfully, despite appointing a skilled general to lead this attack France is rather outnumbered on the battlefield, the bulk of her troops in the region understandably more interested in the most important aspect of warfare, looting and pillaging. In this case the looting and pillaging of Sokoto's empty Spanish holdings to the east.

With battle met along the whole of the narrow front, Sokoto secures her first victory a month later.


This victory won after the French General de MacMahon led his men into an ambush, having become hopelessly lost whilst following a map of his own creation. This the reason why cartographers should never be given command.

Research into 'Army Decision Making' comes to an end a few days later.


The army is now more than happy that both troops and officers have been taught to always make decisions which will bring victory whilst causing as many casaulties as possible. A majority of men now making the wise decision to take to the battlefield whilst entirely unarmed.

Research is next begun into 'Iron Muzzle-loaded Artillery'. This after Sokot industralists promised the government that they can produce iron, made from cow dung and cotton, which will prove far more sturdy and resilient than the current bronze used to make cannon.

A few days later and Sokoto secures a crushing victory at Burgos.


For some reason France's strategy of throwing forward newly mobilised reserves at a narrow, well defended front against entrenched, numerically superior opposition, whilst leaving the bulk of her troops to loot, pillage and besiege empty Sokot provinces, is not proving a good one.

All is far from lost for France though, as her ally Belgium makes an audacious landing in Sokot Italy.


With her allies employing such ingenious strategies France is sure to win the war soon.

Whilst Belgium makes her daring attack upon Sokot Italy, France attacks with her troops in North Africa, happily marching them back and forth in the attrition causing deserts of Sokot Egypt.


This a brilliant strategy Sokoto's army remains keen to emulate as soon as possible.

There is considerable surprise amongst the government just over a week later as they are told of the growing temperance movement within Sokoto.


Whilst greatly doubting the need for such a movement, it hardly as if the leading producer of liquor and wine within the world would have a problem with rampant alcoholism, the government nonetheless give the League their support. The government is always willing to bully poor citizens by denying them what they want. That is, the government is always willing to aid poor citizens by protecting them from the temptation of alcohol.

The government is given some hugely worrying news a few weeks later.


Sokoto has suffered defeat. That is not what causes the government huge worry however. What is hugely worrying is that even when suffering defeat France's casualty count is far higher than that of Sokoto's. Sokoto really need do something to address this worrying imbalance.

A few weeks later and the government is given the alarming news that the victor of Soria, General Gallieni, is leading an attack in Santander.


Attacking Sokoto's entrenched troops with a hugely outnumbered, battle weary force which is on the point of collapse, Gallieni shows the genius for command which explains his great victory at Soria. Sokoto can feel little shame in losing to so skilled a general.

Whilst Sokoto's troops in Santander battle desperately to defeat the brilliant Gallieni, the government is informed of a thumping Sokot victory in Burgos.


A thumping victory which brings yet more disappointment. Sokoto's army has a long way to go before it too can suffer such casualties, France's army clearly superior.

The government's despondancy at the inadequacy of Sokoto's army in comparison to France is lifted a few days later by wonderful news from North Africa.


Somehow the worryingly competent Zamnagawa has triumphed over the attrition ravaged force led by General d'Orleans, who is rightly regarded as a rising star by the French military, when all Zamnagawa had in his favour was a gift for command and overwhelming numbers.

Evidently inspired by the great Gallieni, France continues to throw forward small, battle weary forces at well defended Sokot positions.


Quite why France persists with this strategy is a mystery to Sokoto's army. There is no chance of Sokoto being defeated by horribly outnumbered, disorganised French reservists attacking entrenched Sokot brigades with no artillery or cavalry support.

No chance whatsoever. Sokoto's men are too brilliantly led, equipped, trained and, most importantly, clothed. France should simply concede defeat and stop employing this awful tactic.


Yes, there is no chance whatsoever that Sokoto will succumb to such a strategy. Ahem. In losing to a far smaller, disorganised force the Sokot army is left hugely impressed by Zamnagawa's display. His promotion is now assured.

Whilst France and Sokoto battle desperately in Spain, the government is given some welcome news just over a month later.


France's forces in North Africa have now been defeated, which allows Sokoto's soldiers within the region to begin the much dreaded task of besieging France's North African holdings. Many quickly succumb to grevious injuries as a result of said siege duty. Grevious injuries such as having to suffer sand in their eyes.

As Sokot troops suffer through horrifying siege conditions in North Africa, Sokot forces in Iberia continue to battle on against endless French attacks.


France need be commended for continuing her brilliant strategy of throwing forward mobilised reserves with little artillery or cavalry support against easily reinforced and defended Sokot positions. She will doubtless gain victory soon.

Whilst France somehow meets repeated defeat in Spain despite employing her brilliant strategy, the army of her ally, the Ottomans, is crushed.


Although not before they defeat Sokoto at Uskudar. General Rumfa winning much praise for his defeat here as he suffered an acceptable amount of casaulties, a first for Sokoto thus far in this war. Defeat in such circumstances is always welcomed by the Sokot army as it allows for war to drag on for a bit longer, which gives the possibly of more men being lost.

After almost a year of fighting Sokoto seems to be gaining the upper hand in this war. Her pink clad troops near invincible, they have defeated French armies time and again, swiftly whittling down France's brigade count. Once France's numbers dwindle sufficiently Sokoto will be able to press home her advantage, at last able to advance. There can no doubt that Sokot attacks will sweep all before them.


Well, perhaps a little doubt.
 
Last edited:

naggy

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Make sure you wipe all of France's mobilized army so that they can remobilize. That'll show off Sokot competance!
 

LordTempest

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Oh those Belgians! Can't blame them for trying though.

Some really bloody Verdun-like battles going on in Spain, hopefully Sokoto has enough men to win through sheer strength in numbers alone.
 

Avindian

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But.. how could you research techs that would decrease casualties? HOW?!

Great stuff as always ;)
 

sprites

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As glory is proportionnal to the number of causalties on the battlefiels , France appears to be even more glorious than Sokoto!
 

Fyregecko

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Good stuff, as usual.

Chapter Twenty Four - The Thin Pink Line

With the war now underway the government cannot help but think they have forgotten about something.


Oh. It may have been a good idea to refrain from declaring war upon France until she had removed her sizeable force from the newly acquired Philippines.
Why? Let them see first-hand the benefits of joining the Sokot Empire! Surely they will defect in droves.

And what did I tell you about all this professionalisation nonsense? Not enough casualties. Morale amongst the men must be plummeting, they have to share the loot with too many others!
 

Caezaire

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Dear Lord Luxembourg is protecting France. Retreat may be the only option.
 

Suirantes

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The French are getting too many casualties! You must step up to be a real Sokotan!