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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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"Generale LeFrogge, where shall we invade zee foul Sokot?"

"Hmmm...Sicily is nice zis time of zee year!"

"Magnifique!"
 

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Love your humour in this AAR! Also, ingenious tactics despite the attempts to kill as many of your own soldiers as possible. Could we possibly see a map of Sokoto's current holding's in the next update?
 

morningSIDEr

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Thank you profusely for the replies!

naggy - Very true! Thankfully Sokoto has just recruited another wonderfully gifted poet, as this update will show.

Vaya con Queso - How right you are, none can stand against a superpower such as Krakow! As it is I'd quite like to see Germany form too. It's always nice seeing the AI form nations and whilst a unified Germany is undoubtedly stronger than a scattering of smaller states, fighting one nation rather than a number of smaller ones could well prove less tricky. Although I'll still be avoiding any potential border with the various German states for the foreseeable future!

Xenophon13 - A great many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is en route!).

loki100 - MacMahon certainly is proving a brilliant general for France, this little surprise considering he is a cartographer. Sokoto has recruited a few new cartographers herself though and they are proving reasonably skilled, as this update will show!

malevoiy - Exactly so! That is ever the aim of the liberating, peace loving Sokoto!

Tanzhang (譚張) - I was glad I could finally polish off Egypt too, they've blocked Sokot font for far too long! I have to agree that in taking advantage of Sokoto's hard work against France Prussia has shown a remarkable level of cheek for which she need be punished. Sadly though, it will likely be a good few years yet before Sokoto can deliver such punishment!

Juan_de_Marco - I tend to agree with you, although I usually let opportunism guide my hand, thus I may well be at war with another GP at some point soon.

aldriq - Not to mention easier Peruvian, Ecuadorian and Brazilian land!

sorem - Apologies for the wait (I remain grateful and surprised that anyone wishes to see anymore of my nonsense on the forum!) and many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is in the post!), the update is now here.

CFG9000 - A great many thanks for the kind words (a bribe is on the way!).

Veugdenmans - Thank you profusely for the kind words (a bribe is en route!). Sadly I don't think WC is possible simply due to a lack of DP, not to mention a lack of skill on my part, but I'll certainly attempt to conquer, uh, liberate as much as possible!

Dewirix - What the...how did you know?!

Uh, I mean, what an outlandish suggestion.

thekinguter - Thanks for the kind words (a bribe is in the post!). Sadly I do not have a world map screenshot available at present, however I will certainly include another in the next overview which will be posted at the end of this decade of play.

naggy - Considering where we are in the league I fear you may well be right!

aldriq - Thankfully Hearts are in a remarkably strong financial position and unlike other clubs we have no problems in this regard whatsoever! Furthermore we are owned by the most brilliant, competent and in no way insane Vladimir Romanov.

wzhang29 - It is here! *stops wzhang29 rolling*

DeadeyeDave - France truly is a brilliantly able nation when it comes to war, their cleverly positioned troops in Sicily achieving yet another resounding success as this update will show!

Anjwalker - Many thanks for the kind words (a bribe is on way to you!). Alas as I've told thekinguter I have no world map screenshot available at present but I will certainly include one in the next overview, which is not too far away.
 

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Chapter Twenty Six - Safari, So Good

Whilst Sokoto's troops are busy besieging France the government hosts another of Sokoto's now famous safari hunts. Diplomats from accross the world are invited to the hunt, the government keen to use the event to further strengthen Sokoto's great relations with other world powers.


The government is then left horrified when informed that all of Sokoto's diplomats have been left wounded following the hunt, Pervuian diplomats opening fire upon their Sokot counterparts for no reason whatsoever. Scurrilous rumours that the Sokot diplomats were dressed in giraffe outfits and wielding swords as they charged the friendly Peruvian diplomats at the time of the shooting clearly ridiculous lies.

In response to Peru's entirely unprovoked attack on Sokoto's diplomats the government is left with no choice but to declare war upon the dishonourable nation.


As Sokoto's diplomats are all currently greviously wounded following the safari incident, the decleration of war is made via letter form;

"Dear Peru

The reprehensible wounding of our diplomats cannot go unpunished. It should be well known by now that diplomats can only be attacked if they are delivering a decleration of war, otherwise it is entirely unacceptable behaviour. Thus prepare for invasion from the peace loving nation of Sokoto. Or better yet, refrain from preparing thus making this war all the easier for us.

Much love,

Sokoto

P.S. We hope you are free to join the next safari hunt."

With Peru's army soon crushed the government feel it best to keep the Sokot troops in South America busy lest said troops consider foolish notions such as rebellion due to a dislike of wearing pink uniforms and their having to suffer horrific siege conditions. A new target for liberation is quickly found.


With the diplomats still not yet fully recovered following the Peruvian diplomats shocking and entirely unjustified attack upon them, the decleration of war is sent via letter form;

"To Ecuador,

We plan to send some of our armed forces to your nation so that they can carry out some training exercises. Just to make the training seem all the more realistic we are declaring war upon you. Worry not though, this decleration of war is simply a ruse to ensure our men take the training seriously, we will certainly not annex you. There is no need for you to thus defend yourself from our 'attack'. Indeed, be glad that we are giving your men something of a workout with these training exercises.

There is no need to thank us.

Yours annexingly,

Sokoto

P.S. The decleration of war is real and we will annex your nation."

Whilst one war of conquest begins, that is, whilst training exercises in Ecuador begin, another comes to an end a few weeks later.


At long last Sokoto's old foe of many years, Egypt, has at last been annexed into the glorious Sokot Empire. Her lands have enriched Sokoto considerably, her large population has expanded Sokoto's army, her literate people have made Sokoto's technological advances possible but, far more importantly, her conquest has increased Sokoto's font size considerably, much to the delight of the government. It simply a slight pity that the cartographers still think Northeastern Africa and the Arabian Peninsula a better place for the word 'Sokoto' to appear upon a map than Sokoto itself.

There is most welcome news for both the Prime Minister and the government a month later.


The government is understandably pleased at this find but the Prime Minister even more so. This because Massawa, land acquired from Egypt a few decades earlier, has been owned by the Prime Minister's family for centuries. The land deed proving the Prime Minister's ownership of Massawa, the ink of which is still surprisingly wet and the writing in said deed looking suspiciously similar to that of the Prime Minister's, having been mysteriously unearthed a few hours after news of the discovery of diamonds reached the government.

A month later and Sokoto has a new Prime Minister. The previous Prime Minster having hurriedly resigned stating that he believed the management of his diamond mine more important than the running of so 'uselessly incompetent a nation'. As is abundantly clear the former Prime Minister is a true patriot, a man of great integrity, Sokoto will sorely miss his great leadership. Nonetheless with a new Prime Minister so too a new poet, the Sokot army having finally identified a successor to the much missed Abdullah Kabe junior.


Thankfully the newly recruited Kumbari Kabe is yet another poet from the lauded Kabe family, no less than the first cousin thrice removed of the great Abdullah Kabe junior. Kumbari quickly proves to a soon enraptured nation that he too has the customary Kabe brilliance when it comes to poetry as shown by his first breathtakingly brilliant work, a romantic epic;

Shall I compare thee to a moderately attractive flower stolen from a graveyard?
Alike a rose, you have a big nose.
You remind me of a filched daffodil,
Your taste reminiscent of swill.
Similar to a nettle plucked from the ground,
Our love leaves me stung, making a screaming sound.
Thoughts of you as I pilfer some lily from a garden,
Make a certain part of me harden.
However there can be no doubt that you most remind me of a thistle,
Your anger rather like being hit by a missile.

As birth and marriage rates begin rocketing throughout Sokoto, many men putting Kumbari's newly written romantic epic to good use, the government is given some welcome news a day later.


The newly established colony of Zambia is home to many fancy dress hire shops, these the natural breeding grounds of the extremely rare spear wielding 'buffalo', said buffalo looking suspiciously like men dressed in suits. As such Zambia is likely to prove a very popular safari destination. Encouraged by this discovery the government order for colonisation of Somaliland to begin. There are rumours that a number of 'panther' armed with artillery, said panther looking surprisingly like men dressed in suits, have been sighted in the area.

Whilst colonisation efforts begin in Somaliland, and a surprising number of foreign diplomats complain at having been stabbed by 'buffalo' following the first hunting expedition in Zambia, the government is given some worrying news.


The government deal with this sensitive issue in the way expected of so progressive, openminded and fair an organisation by instantly banning all women from institutions of higher learning. The government taking the enlightened view that women are unsuited to such studies, their delicate frames and fragile female minds quite unable to cope with the rigorous demands of higher education. Left unsaid is the real reason why the government has banned all women from higher education, which is a fear that women would quickly prove far more competent in such studies than men and quickly take over the running of the nation leaving the all-male cabinet out of a job.

A month later and the government is given some puzzling news.


Apparently Brazilian citizens have risen in revolt after learning that Sokoto's liberating forces now occupy most of their nation, the Brazilian rebels rather unhappy at the prospect of parts of Brazil being annexed into the Sokot Empire. Quite why any Brazilian would find the prospect of joining the Sokot Empire alarming baffles the government. After all the great benefits for people lucky enough to be annexed into the Empire are considerable. Great benefits such as being forced to pay ludicrously high taxes, enforced wearing of pink clothing and being able to enjoy shockingly incompetent rule.

Just over a month later and the government is left hugely vexed by a report from Italy.


In what is likely to prove one of the last battles of the war against France, France has emerged victorious once again, her casaulty count far beyond that of Sokoto's. Truly the Sokot army has performed astoundingly poorly in this war.

With Sokot Italy at last freed from enemy troops the government feel the time is now right to begin another war. The now recovered diplomats are sent forth. At once the government regret having sent them, this diplomatic mission requiring some actual tact and diplomacy, something the diplomats clearly lack, for Sokoto's intended foe, Italy, is currently allied with Great Britain. A nation Sokoto can ill afford to anger.


Thankfully all goes well, Britain dishonouring her alliance with Italy following a brilliant show of cunning from the diplomats, who scared Britain from war with Sokoto after sending the British government the following message;

"Dear much beloved Britain,

It has come to our attention that France is planning an attack upon you at some point in the near future. As France can currently muster a whole seventeen brigades it goes without saying that they pose a considerable threat to your security. Thus it would likely prove best if you ignore our attack upon your current ally, Italy, so as to instead ready yourselves for a possible attack from France, a far more deadly foe.

Yours non-threateningly and peacefully,

Sokoto"

As battle commences between Sokoto and Italy's forces, the government is given some astoundingly good news.


Peace with Peru has brought with it a sizeable new addition to Sokoto's font upon the world map. For once the government is forced to congratulate the cartographers for some good work. It is the addition of yet more font to the map which always makes war worthwhile.

A few weeks later and yet another peace treaty is agreed, this time with the Ottomans.


Once again the cartographers have excelled themselves, Sokoto's font size growing considerably following the peace deal. At long last Sokoto is gaining a font size properly befitting a nation of her greatness.

Alongside having gained swathes of land in Asia Minor and North Africa, Sokoto has also gained control of yet more land in the Balkans following her peace deal with the Ottomans.


Considering Sokoto's great relationship with the Ottomans the government foresee no problems in defending the newly acquired province of North Macedonia, which is entirely isolated from any other Sokot territory.

With the rebellion in Brazil finally crushed, peace is agreed with Brazil a month later.


The government is left delirious with joy upon learning that Sokot font has increased in size once again, 'Sokot South America' becoming noticeably larger following the peace deal. As the delighted Prime Minister is heard to say, each increase in font size makes a certain part of him increase in size too.

It seems that at long last Sokoto has recruited some cartographers with actual skill. The recent peace deals having brought numerous increases in font size accross the map. Thus the cabinet is left hugely excited upon learning that yet another peace deal has been agreed, this time with Ecuador. As Ecuador is a sizeable nation they expect great things from the cartographers. Another increase in font size will show the world just how competent and brilliant a nation Sokoto is.


Ah. The font size has actually decreased. The change from the previous 'Sokot Peru' to 'Sokot Ecuador' bringing with it a markedly smaller font size. The cabinet instantly begin negotiations to release Ecuador as an independent nation once again in the hope of reverting the font to its previous larger size. After all there is no point in conquering land if it does not bring with it larger font.
 
Last edited:

unmerged(351041)

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Yeah, it lives! Still love the humour in this series.
Don't worry about North Macedonia; if the troops there need to get home, that's just another excuse for war!
South America is almost conquered- The +2 troop bonus will be yours!
 

Anjwalker

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The world falls before the plague of incompetent pink!

Love your humour once again. :D
 

Fyregecko

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Quality work, maestro.

The government is then left horrified when informed that all of Sokoto's diplomats have been left wounded following the hunt, Pervuian diplomats opening fire upon their Sokot counterparts for no reason whatsoever. Scurrilous rumours that the Sokot diplomats were dressed in giraffe outfits and wielding swords as they charged the friendly Peruvian diplomats at the time of the shooting clearly ridiculous lies.

In response to Peru's entirely unprovoked attack on Sokoto's diplomats the government is left with no choice but to declare war upon the dishonourable nation.
Damn right. I don't care whether they thought, you don't shoot at giraffes. Giraffes is ****ing awesome.



"Dear much beloved Britain,

It has come to our attention that France is planning an attack upon you at some point in the near future. As France can currently muster a whole seventeen brigades it goes without saying that they pose a considerable threat to your security. Thus it would likely prove best if you ignore our attack upon your current ally, Italy, so as to instead ready yourselves for a possible attack from France, a far more deadly foe.

Yours non-threateningly and peacefully,

Sokoto"
Stout man. Never trust the frog. All the nations of the world must stand fast against these dastardly scoundrels.

Once again the cartographers have excelled themselves, Sokoto's font size growing considerably following the peace deal. At long last Sokoto is gaining a font size properly befitting a nation of her greatness.
Truth. As always, a nation's greatness shall be measured by her font-size. Talking of which.


I haven't seen such a buxomly curved font in years. Makes the heart swell with pride. Heart. Definitely heart.
 

Dewirix

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Sokoto has universities now? When did that happen?

Frighteningly rapid progress against the Europeans and South Americans. Just watch out for Venezuela - I hear that the coffee is to be avoided at all costs.
 

Juan_de_Marco

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How is the westcoast of Africa doing? with colonizations and all?

and can you add humiliation to each conquest? it adds another 5 prestige and infamy is no problem I'd think.
 

loki100

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Our love leaves me stung, making a screaming sound.
or, as the Gang of Four put it: "Love will get you like a case of anthrax"

The cabinet instantly begin negotiations to release Ecuador as an independent nation once again in the hope of reverting the font to its previous larger size
or just finish off Peru?

great stuff and good to see a return to the previously high poetic standards
 

wzhang29

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Just to give you an idea:
Demand the Amazon rainforest is Sokot. :) There is a bigger font size there just waiting...
 

sprites

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The cartographers are really skilled , changing the name hoping to get a bigger font , not realising Equador is longer than Peru!
 

aldriq

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For God, King & Font!


Thankfully Hearts are in a remarkably strong financial position and unlike other clubs we have no problems in this regard whatsoever! Furthermore we are owned by the most brilliant, competent and in no way insane Vladimir Romanov.
:rofl:

I forgot about Mad Vlad! You should do a CK2 AAR inspired on him, a quick one – exiled Russian duke inherits Lothian and taxes peasants to death...
 

thekinguter

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Very hilarious AAR. The Sokot leaders must be proud! From America to Africa the world trembles upon pink!
 

morningSIDEr

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Thank you profusely for the replies!

Vaya con Queso - Thank you for the kind words (yet another bribe is en route!). You are quite right regarding North Macedonia, I feel a 'We Need Conquer You So As To Give Our Troops Free Access To Our Other Holdings' casus belli is ample justification for war!

As for South America, conquering her is certainly worth the risk when such bonuses are available!

Anjwalker - A great many thanks for your kind words (another bribe is in the post!). Indeed, the liberating, glorious tide of pink is beginning to wash over the world!

Fyregecko - Thank you once again for the kind words (a bribe is on way to you!). Giraffes are most certainly awesome. Sokot diplomats dressed in glorious pink giraffe outfits are all the more awesome! Sokoto's font is becoming a wonder to behold, thankfully it gets all the bigger and better in this update!

Dewirix - Sokoto does now have an astoundingly high literacy rate of 26.1% thanks to the 'Conquer Your Way to Better Literacy' initiative. This coupled with the brilliance of her academics has allowed for the founding of a great many universities accross the Empire. As you'd expect, they are bastions of learning!

As for Venezuela, very wise advice! A certain Senor Harold has the Sokot government suitably worried.

Juan_de_Marco - There are two nations currently colonising western Africa, as this update will show. I'm a bit worried about one of them.

As for adding humiliation to each peace deal it is an excellent idea and I'd dearly like to but I'm very short on DPs at present, thus I cannot really afford to.

loki100 - Many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is en route my good man!). Simply finish Peru off?! Far too sensible a suggestion for the Sokot government to consider!

wzhang29 - A great idea and rest assured the Amazon rainforest will be liberated in due course! Sokoto's font must grow as large as possible.

sprites - Exactly so! Just as the government were beginning to worry Sokoto finally had some competent cartographers at last due to the continually increasing Sokoto's font, they thankfully tripped up and showed themselves to be blundering idiots!

aldriq - I certainly like the idea of CK2 AAR with Vlad in it! He has already made an appearance in another most brilliant AAR though, which I heartily recommend reading. Fyregecko captures Vlad's brilliance perfectly!

thekinguter - Thank you profusely for the kind words (yet another bribe is on the way!). Sokoto's leaders are indeed proud, the world is being liberated and turned a most fantastic shade of pink!
 
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morningSIDEr

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Chapter Twenty Seven - The Future's Bright, the Future's Oranje

As war continues against both France and Italy, the government is given a worrying report from Sokoto's Secret Police.


With Sokoto loved the world over due to her peaceful, enlightened and progressive ways the government dare not risk damaging Sokoto's great reputation by employing the secret police in this instance, thus no action is taken.

It is highly doubtful that anything will come of this anyway, the majority of the Quechua doubtless delighted with life in the highly taxed, incompetently ruled Sokot Empire. Indeed, there are a number of Quechua serving with the army at present and the government does not doubt their loyalty for a second. It is madness to suggest that anyone would consider independence from so wonderful and glorious a nation as Sokoto.


Yes, definite madness. There is absolutely no chance that anyone would wish for independence from Sokoto. No chance whatsoever. Ahem.

Mere hours later the government enact further political reform.


Ridiculous rumours that the government hurriedly enacted this reform out of fear of a possible Quechuan rebellion could not be further from the truth. As ever the government is instead solely guided by a desire to encourage further democractic freedom within Sokoto.

Research of 'Army Risk Management' comes to an end over a month later.


Following an extensive study of the armed forces Sokot academics have come to the conclusion that friendly fire, incompetent leadership and malfunctioning Sokot made weapons are the main risks currently faced by the army. The government is left understandably pleased by these findings, clearly the Sokot army is doing its best to achieve an acceptable amount of casualties, and gives the order for said risks to be 'managed' (for 'managed' read as 'magnified'). Unsurprisingly, morale within the army increases as soldiers learn that such steps have been taken.

The academics next begin research of 'Point Defense System' as both the government and the army wish for improvements to be made to the defences currently erected by the troops. The research will thus look into ingenious designs such as forts with easily detectable hidden entrances, the use of highly flammable building materials in all defensive constructions and the careful placement of large piles of explosives in positions which are susceptible to enemy fire. Such measures likely to improve the defensiveness of Sokot army constructions considerably.

A few days later and the government is given the welcome news that Sokoto's great ally, Prussia, has agreed to peace with France.


As Prussia has proven an invaluable ally in the war against France, Sokoto was quick to aid Prussia's invasion of France by hurriedly blocking the advance of said invasion. This forcing Prussia to agree to a mere white peace with France, she was entirely unable to gain the war scored required to demand Alsace-Lorraine due to Sokoto's kindly blocking her advance. Sokoto is nothing if not a wonderful ally.

With war against France and Italy progressing surprisingly well the government turn their attention to another nation. A perfidious, warmongering nation which has preyed upon one of Sokoto's closest allies, Argentina, many times before. The diplomats are sent forth.


They return several weeks later covered in bruises, many sporting black eyes. Apparently after delivering the deceleration of war to their Chilean counterparts one of Sokoto's diplomats rather irked their angry hosts by telling them to, 'Chile out'.

Whilst war begins with the diabolical Chile, Sokoto brings her war with Italy to a close over a month later.


Despite the fact that these rich, newly gained lands are isolated from Sokot territory they should prove easy to defend thanks to Sokoto's mighty navy. The city of Nice in particular likely to prove a favourite garrison location for Sokot troops, bordered as it is by two nations which have nothing but respect for Sokoto.

There is pleasing news for the government a week later as they learn that the army has adapted well to some newly introduced training.


Alongside Sokoto's ingenious 'Throw Everyone Forward And Hope For The Best' strategy, this a most brilliant tactic devised by the great Abdullah Rumfa many years before which has served Sokoto well on so many occasions, officers will now be expected to learn at least one more strategy to be used as needs dictate. This second strategy, a sophisticated and daring tactic which is known as the 'Flee For Your Lives' strategy, is now being taught to all men. As a result of this training the army has happily learned how to march a bit faster.

Whilst Sokoto valiantly fights the insidious Chile, whose five brigades would doubtless have crushed Argentina at some point in the near future but for Sokoto's intervention, the government is left feeling rather worried. Argentina is such a strong ally of Sokoto's that even with Chile vanquished it would still seem wrong to leave so faithful a friend susceptible to annexation by another warring power. There is then but one option, Sokoto need reward her ally in the best way possible. The diplomats are sent forth.


They return several weeks later looking green faced and queasy, quite sure they have been poisoned. Having politely accepted some Argentine wine from their hosts after delivering the decleration of war, the diplomats were left instantly feeling sick after having sipped a small amount of the wine. Apparently grapes are inexplicably used to make Argentina wine, this giving it a quite horrendous taste in the diplomats opinion, entirely unfavourable in comparison to the earthy brilliance of Sokoto's mud based wines.

After almost four years of war peace with France is finally agreed a month later.


During these years of war Sokoto's soldiers have suffered dreadfully due to the nightmarish siege conditions they were forced to heroically endure. Many of them left greviously wounded with horrific injuries such as gout following the forced consumption of lovely French food and drink.

Thankfully though due to their great sacrifice Sokoto has made some significant gains, her font size increasing considerably, much to the delight of the government. The increase in font size proves rather too much for the Prime Minister, who is led to a darkened room for some relaxation after his having become overly excited upon viewing Sokoto's new font.

Whilst France's prescence in Africa has been lessened significantly following this peace deal, the government quickly learn that France is currently busy colonising parts of Northwestern Africa.


Whilst this is unfortunate there is some far better news as reports also indicate that Prussia is currently colonising the province of Benin, which is in direct contact with Sokoto's heartlands. Gaining Prussia as a neighbour should prove beneficial for both parties, as Prussia will doubtless be hugely grateful to Sokoto for Sokoto's repeatedly aiding her in recent wars against both France and Egypt.

Many months later and finally Sokoto is at peace one more, as war comes to an end with both Chile and Argentina.


These peace deals are cause for celebration for Sokoto's staunch ally, Argentina. Not only has her nemesis the menacing Chile at long last been annexed by Sokoto, this ensuring her safety until her truce with Sokoto runs out, uh, this ensuring her safety for all time that is. She has also had her strong ties to Sokoto further strengthened following Sokoto's selfless acceptance of Corrientes into the Empire. Truly Argentina is hugely lucky to have so astoundingly stupendous an ally.

A few weeks later and the government is left baffled after being informed that some common riff-raff in Mocambique believe they deserve adequate working conditions, this something their trade unions are inexplicably demanding.


Bringing their usual impartiality and fairness to this decision, the government side with the rich capitalists in agreeing that union busting tactics need be allowed in this instance. The government reaching this decision due to very convincing bribes made by the capitalists. That is, the government reaching this decision due to the very convincing arguments made by the capitalists.

After all these common oiks have no justification for demanding better working conditions when they are already given minimal pay, no time off, they are forced to work eighteen hour days and they are given no pension or healthcare rights. Clearly these workers are being pampered and have no right to complain about their working conditions.

A few months later and research into 'Point Defense System' comes to an end.


Both the government and the army are happy with the results of this new training, Sokoto's soldiers now able to construct some truly formidable defences. Admittedly said defensive works offer little by way of protection as they are highly likely to catch fire or explode at any given time, but it is due to this that they prove such excellent defences. As both Sokot and enemy soldiers alike keep well away from these deathtraps.

Research of 'Deep Defense System' begins next at the request of the army's officers. Sokoto's courageous officers requesting this research as they have long wished for a defence system which will allow them to hide, uh, station themselve within forts many miles from the battlefield, deep within friendly territory, whilst bravely directing matters from afar.

Following months of peace the government find themselves desperately needing to start a new conflict. Without war to distract them, the many people liberated by Sokoto over the years have become increasingly fractious, many of them inexplicably unhappy at being part of a nation which prizes incompetence above all else. The diplomats are thus hurriedly sent forth before rebellion grips the nation.


They return several months later looking desperately ill and still retching, entirely sure they have been poisoned once again. Having accepted the offer of a meal from their British hosts after delivering the decleration of war, they had happily eaten a number of regional delicacies from accross Britain before trying something called 'haggis'. The diplomats are still unsure exactly what this strange dish is, other than most likely a form of torture.

Whilst Britain represents the strongest foe Sokoto has faced thus far the government are still blithely confident regarding Sokoto's chances. Not only does Sokoto's army of just over three hundred brigades outnumber the British army considerably, Kumbari Kabe has composed a rousing poem so as to boost the morale of the nation for the coming war.

Our army is courageous,
Our navy masters of the sea,
Our government is as competent as can be.

Alas however I can see no victory,
Britain is too strong a foe,
I feel of this war we should have said no.

I must include that I am a fantastically gifted poet,
Who has always felt Britain the best nation in the world,
I look forward to when the Union Jack is brought to Sokoto's capital and unfurled.

For I am ready to work for our wonderful soon to be British overlords,
My poetic ability ready to further Britan's glory,
For of Sokoto I feel it is the end of her story.

With both the nation and Sokoto's mighty army suitably enthused by so moving a poem clearly nothing but victory awaits Sokoto. Britain has no chance whatsoever, Sokoto will canter to victory in this war.


Ah.

This could prove difficult. Still, at least Sokoto has the stronger navy.
 
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wzhang29

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:rofl:
That was great. Good luck in the war against Britain (and their Indian satellites).
 

unmerged(351041)

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Where would Prussia be without the help of its loyal ally Sokoto? I sure hope they appreciate everything you've done for them.
 

Anjwalker

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I like Kabe's poem. Very fitting to the occassion.

*has urge to scream "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, GOING TO WAR WITH BRITAIN?"* It spells doom .... not sure if the Sokot's can though.
 

loki100

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one of Sokoto's diplomats rather irked their angry hosts by telling them to, 'Chile out'
quite superb deployment of a bad pun

Argentina is such a strong ally of Sokoto's that even with Chile vanquished it would still seem wrong to leave so faithful a friend susceptible to annexation by another warring power
your consideration to your allies has almost no limits ... such self-sacrifice

You have done a good job making N Africa safe for the Sokoto font but it was a bit sneaky of the French to hide all those settlers and forts from your superb spies and cartographers.

Britain, pah, you'll win this war in a matter of days