As previously promised, and kindly reminded by a fellow countryman, I had promised an update. I really need to get rid of these screens!!
Why Napoleon's Ambition I hear you madly asking?! Why, it shall become clear!!
First things are first; the North... 15,000 shivering old men and one terrifying woman sit shivering in a swamp in Novorgod. They have nothing to eat, as yet again that bastard Ivan has run out of Natalyas to trade for turnips, and only marsh water to drink. (To see pictures of all the wonders mentioned please turn to page ten and view the updates there. Your custom is appreciated)
It is decided that the one woman alone is a threat. A New Zealand general is very pleased to order an attack!
Raaaaaaaaar!!
As the order passes down the lines, two whole divisions of battle hardened New Zealanders simply refuse to attack that terrifying vision...
AAAHHHHHHRRRRGGHHHHH
Thus the sole division bravely battles on, urged on by the promise of ten weeks leave and a possible night with Agent Katy Perry! For some though, it is not enough.
For Katy Perry!!
Those brave soldiers came back from the front with the charactaristic thousand mile stare, having confronted horrors no man should see. As a result, a new medal was commissioned to award all those men for their heroism.
Yes, these men were awarded two brass testicles
With masses of men moving around behind the lines, Freyberg is not content to sit on his laurels... Oho no! He is busy busy busy completing the preparations for the attack on the MOTHERLAND! Mozak needs to be ours!!
It is such unfair odds
With this small diversion completed, Freyberg, sitting around his tent having a stubby of Lion Red (Lyon Rouge to those in the know) is approached by his aide.
Aide: Mein Feldmarschall... ach... Ahem... Mr Freyberg, we are at the gates of Moscow. Do we attack?
Frey-dawg: No, not yet Winston. I cannot risk sending more men in against that... thing... look what it did to XI Corps at Novogrod! We need more intelligence. Where is Agent Perry?
Aide: Sir, Agent Perry is currently... busy roaming Stalin's dacha with Molotov Cocktails. And she has an engagement with XI Corps when she gets back... You know, for the bravery and all that.
Freyberg: Very true, very true. Do we have any more people?
Aide: Well... There is one...
Agent Fisher! Rawr...
Freyberg: HOLY SHIT! I mean... *ahem* Very well Winston, send her in. If that terror weapon isnt there, we attack.
In the dead of the night, Agent Fisher schneaks into Moscow. No sign of the terror is evident, just 30,000 Soviets and 5,000 tanks. Easy Peasy.
A very relieved Freyberg orders the attack.
"Lets go lads! For Agent Fisher!"
Everything is coming up ACES!
Suck it Napoleon!
Quitter
Yes, the gates of Moscow have been breached. New Zealand troops patrol the Kremlin. When Nappy entered the city it was a burning wasteland. When Freyberg entered... well, it was still burning, but at least we arent on the retreat now! Only 7 years previously this was the burning hope of Hitler, eh buddy?
JA!
How'd that end for you dear Hitler?
"Ach! I died!"
Yeah, tough luck about that.
So, with Moscow taken, and Finland well and truly cut off, we begin to clear it out. This will not take long, especially with Uberstacks of Americans... right? Naw, theyre useless.
Winter War, anyone?
Finally for today, the Koreans, having just got off a boat all the way from, well, Korea, hear that Moscow has fallen. Figuring there isnt much else to do, they stop. And hang out with the Danes. And the Swedish. Such a gathering.
"I have a feeling we aren't in Seoul anymore Toto"
Propably trying to find some of that marshwater, huh?
Enough to drive a man to drink
So that is it for today. Moscow has fallen, what will happen? Both Napoleon and Hitler's ambitions have been realised! How will this affect the world? Raar has a job, how will it effect his updating skills? (lets be honest, they were shit anyway) Tune in next time for more excitement!
. Thanks!
