NOOO!!!! NOT RIHANNA!
Note: It's not sarcasm. I just wanna make sure you don't think I'm being a playa hatah, y'know.
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
NOOO!!!! NOT RIHANNA!
Note: It's not sarcasm. I just wanna make sure you don't think I'm being a playa hatah, y'know.
I see you're planning to take out Italy...?
You're insane. But you already know that.
You're insane. But you already know that.
Duh duh duh duh daaaaaahhhhh
THE TIME HAS COMETH FOR AN UPDATETH!
When we last left our intrepid country New Zealand it was stumbling its way into war. Coz their industry was comparable with Lithuania or the dreaded Bhutan. which sucked to say the least. Nevertheless we have embarked on our war now, come hell or high water, Italy shall be ours!!!!
This update will feature message boxes just to let everyone know whats happening, although they should, because as usual HOI (= Awesome) players, they will know that France surrenders (WHAT!?!) and so forth. But anyways I was bored and only just started fighting so here we go.
At the start of the war, South Africa opted out of the Allies, instead preffering to chill out at the bottom of Africa and win world cups.
OMG RUN AWAY RUN AWAY GERMANY IS GOING TO COME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE AND PUMMEL US!!
Its ok, they made up for it.
you can only push a south african so far you know Italy
This was the first news that Id hard that Italy had joined the Axis, so I kinda got all excited that I could do something and charged all available men into an attack on Bardia. Turns out I should have researched decryption devices first. there was more of them than me. which sucked.
9 divisions!? theres only two counters!!!
meanwhile... SHOCK HORROR!
STOP THE PRESSES!
RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES SCREAMING!
France surrendered...
Thats ok, it give me a bit where they cant attack Italy from.
"Thats it Henri, im going to live in Vichy"
The war in Nth Africa went the usual way, stalemate at Sollum etc. until I landed my men at Benghazi, (ps i know I said i wouldnt get bengahzi but I lied. Sue me.) which opened it up a bit. Pretty soon the NZ Army arrived in Italy!! woot.
Hi ho hi ho its off to Italy we go
Yeah my names are getting pretty imaginative ay.
However, theres no point having Sicily if you cant get to the mainland. Unfortunately, Yugoslavia must have annoyed Germany somewhat...
"knock knock" "Whos there?" "Masses of German divisions" "... do you have an appointment?"
For some bizzare reason Yugoslavia thought that we would help them, despite being surrounded by the axis they joined our team. And got pummeled. I wanted to help, but couldnt.
Anyways thats probably enough for this update, pictures aplenty are present so ill do a part two
Updateth Part two: Bugger
Well, Yugoslavia got steamrollered, which was a shame, I quite liked them. An unfortunate side effect of this was that Masses of german divisions remained in Italy. Not just one or two.
But 60 odd.
"Hey Klaus, did you hear we are at war with the Soviet Union?" "Well, shouldnt we be going over there instead of hanging out here?" ".... naaaaaahhhhh"
turns out Germany likes to hang out in Italy. Luckily after 3 or 4 months they cruised off to the front line. Still, i need more transports to get a decent amount of men to assault the beaches of Italy, so while I wait for them to arrive (Along with two new divisions from home) the New Zealand army sunbathes in Sicily, under the watchful eye of a German expeditionary force lent to the Eyeties.
"muuuuummmmmmmmmm the germans are watching me!" "shush honey just sunbathe"
Luckily, the allies get some much needed help. If it wasnt for this, i dont quite know what we would do, I think we would not stand a chance.
"Mein Fuhrer... I have news!!!" "What is it?" "Panama has declared war on us!!!" "Tits. Get the surrender documents ready."
so yeah, at the moment I am waiting for my transports to come, alot has happened that i havent taken pictues of, but thats ok ill fill you guys in later. China has repelled the Japanese invasion
and the Germans are charging hard for Moscow. BUT... secret weapons are coming!! I think. Till next time... you stay classy Paradox forums
Who hasn't trembled before the might of Panama and their fearsome hats?Raaritsgozilla said:
Do your transports have much chance of getting past the Italian fleet or are you relying on luck and the Royal Navy?
I wouldnt want to fight them thats for sure!!El Pip said:
Thanks, its slow going, i believe i need more RAM haha4th Dimension said:
The Italian navy doesnt really do anything, just moves from one port to another, so im not worried about getting them there. Maybe a little. Its the invasions i worry about.PrawnStar said:
Im going to have to go with Fgorginator with this one, the south africans dont do anything worthwhile but sit in South Africa and wait for the non existent invasions. At least the other dominions are TRYING to helplikk9922 said:
I feel i have enough screenies to warrant an update so that shall be done. After lunch though!! haha
Updatey!
Well, as mentioned before, things are going preeeetty slow. Have played up to October 1942, with bugger all actually happening, so... yeah. needed a plan... THINK
THINK
THINK!!!
GOT IT!! we shall invade Italy!!. needless to say, this dumb shit general who suggested this idea was immediately nipped in the scrotum and dragged into the street by his nose where he was beaten with flax leaves. Idiot.
OF COURSE we were going to invade Italy!
It was the idea the whole time!!
The wait was over. The transport ships were finished, bringing to the Med the 13th 'Lucky' NZ Inf division and the 14th 'Pukekohe' NZ inf division, both with weak 2 pdr AT gun attachments.
Good god man can these ships not sail faster!?
So, yes the ships were sorely needed. However, our only attack airplanes, four CAS lvl 2 wings, were in Palmero and had no hope of having the range needed to support any landings. Another, not dumb, general made a suggestion.
"Lets invade Sardinia!"
For this insightful idea he was immediatly awarded France's highest honour: The Sit-under-a-table-and-wave-white-flags Cross for Gallantry. Hoorah!
"Mamma mia! theresa somea New Zealandiers acoming shore-a!" "Pardon?"
The invasion of Sardinia went well, giving us large metal reserves, one factory, which, lets face it, could be used well by our industry, and, most importantly, a base to fly support of invasions from.
Time was not wasted. It was noted that the beach of Florence was rather un-defended, so an invasion force was sent quick smart!
Is this were the famous nurse was born?
This attack succeeded, however, due to the fact that some of my men were not part of the whole group, 2 divisions arrived early while the remaining five were still disembarking. Those two were quickly sent off the beaches, while the five didnt fare any better.
So alas, our first invasion of the mainland was a failure.
It was noted in the high up offices of power that New Zealand's navy was still non existent. Like most things, the offices of power had no idea what the research teams were doing, so they got a surprise when this appeared on their desks.
OMGWTFBBQ!? DESTROYERS!?
Luckily I knew what was going on, and destroyers were quickly being built. Pretty soon the first surface ships of the RNZN were dispatched to Wellington:
In the navy... you can sail the seven seas, in the navy, you can put your mind at ease...
Work on a further two flotillas continued, and were expected to arrive on the 1st December 1942.
Meanwhile, the other dominions have actually done something and helped our glorious endevour!
What we need it a great big melting pot...
Yup, two Australian inf divisions, one mot Indian (thanks England), and one Canadian inf garrisoning Sardinia were greatly received as expeditionary forces. So, now we have 14 NZ inf divs, 2 Aust, 1 Indian, one Canadian and a partridge in a bloody pear tree.
Finally for this update, the invasion force is assembled in Sardinia of the best NZ inf divisions available,
aiming to strike deep into Anzio, the least defended of the mainland around the new year. I'll let you know how it unfolds
I do hope the III Australian Corps general is leading the assault. As the only man to be given a colour portrait he must be the senior officer. Hopefully his intense technicolor glow will blind the Italians on the beach leading to an easy victory.
Thats what the C stands forCharle_88 said:
A-Australians
N-New
Z-Zealanders
A-Are
C-Crazy
