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Zaporozhie: the Product of a Sich Mind

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Hey, Farq, landing a raiding party in Anatolia and making a general nuisance of myself until the entire Turkish Army comes back looking for my head on a silver platter, and then hoping the mighty Zaporozhie fleet is still around to take me and my lads back home? Sounds like a job for me! Sign me up, I'm on the job. :wacko:

Oh, by the by, what's the pay like? :rolleyes:
 
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crazypeltast52: You can be sure that vengeance will be wreaked on the Native Americans just as soon as we've caught up with them in Land Tech... :eek:

Grundius: Yes indeed - as you'll see in the next episode, Fungus Khan managed to cause a whole lot more problems by staying around...

Judas Maccabeus: That's the new look dynamic AI for you - they just don't know their way around, do they?

RGB: :rofl: How did I miss that one?

Draco Rexus: OK, you've got the job. Pay is 1000 roubles per day spent pillaging Anatolia. Now you can't say we're not generous!
 
Chapter 16: 1611-20
A Succession of Rulers​

Danylo I Hetman of Zaporozhie had just received another unwelcome visit from the bane of his life, the Mongol rebel leader Fungus Khan.

Fungus Khan: Well, well, Danny Boy, how nice to see you!

Danylo: Just call me "Sire", Mr Khan.

Fungus Khan: Sure thing, Danny Boy - and you can just call me Fungus.

Danylo: I'd rather not if you don't mind, Mr Khan.

Fungus Khan: Why not? Don't like my name eh? Don't worry, it'll grow on you - heh, heh, heh!

Danylo: We already had that joke.

Fungus Khan: Aw, c'mon Danny Boy, not in the AAR proper - it was just feedback to feedback! Anyway, it's a good one - worth using a few times surely?

Danylo: Twice will be more than enough I think. Now Mr Khan, perhaps we could get on to the reason for your visit?

Fungus Khan: Ah yes. Well Danny Boy, I was just wondering - you know, it's been a while since we had an election in Zaporozhie, isn't it?

Danylo: Four years actually, Mr Khan. No time at all, really.

Fungus Khan: Four years, eh? Hmm - about the standard length of term for an elected official, I'd have thought.

Danylo: What are you driving at, Mr Khan?

Fungus Khan: Well, you know, I'm thinking of standing for Hetman myself, and I just wanted to get my campaign off the ground if there's an election on the horizon…

Danylo: WHAT??! YOU want to stand for Hetman? But… but… you're a MONGOL for crying out loud!

Fungus Khan: Hey, so what? Still got democratic rights haven't I?

Danylo: But who in their right mind would ever even think of voting for a Mongol? You wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of being elected!

Fungus Khan: There's always the Crim Tartars - they could be persuaded, I'm sure…

Danylo: The Crim… The Cri… Wait a minute… Yikes, he's got a point… Ahem, let's see… Well, Mr Khan, I wouldn't count on an imminent election so why don't you just relax for the moment - I'll keep you posted. And good luck in your forthcoming campaign.

fungusandbush.jpg

Fungus Khan - never one to miss out on a photo opportunity​

This was serious. For Danylo realized that Fungus Khan stood a very good chance of snatching up pretty much the entire Crim Tartar vote. Add in the various elements of Zaporozhian society who were less than satisfied with Danylo's mediocre performance as Hetman and you had the makings of a political catastrophe in view. What on earth was to be done?

And then the answer came to him in one of his more lucid moments of sheer genius. Why have an election at all? Why have some stupid anachronistic system of electing a Hetman? This was the seventeenth century for goodness sake. Real countries were ruled by hereditary Kings and Tsars and Sultans who simply passed on absolute power to their children when they died. All he had to do was to make the Hetman of Zaporozhie a hereditary office and all his troubles would be over! He even had a young son, Pylip, ready to be next in line to the new throne of Zaporozhie.

Quickly the announcement was made. Henceforth Zaporozhie was joining the Premier League of large and powerful nations with a real, hereditary, and of course divinely appointed, ruler, namely himself and his descendants, who would lead the Zaporozhian Cossacks to ever-increasing heights of glory and greatness. Naturally there was quite a bit of murmuring and grumbling about "lack of consultation" on this issue, but all Danylo had to do was to let slip rumours about Fungus Khan's ambitions to get elected as Hetman, and all right-thinking Zaporozhians - that is, the Ukrainians and Ruthenians - soon saw that having a hereditary Hetman was really an excellent idea after all.

What Danylo didn't know, and hadn't planned for, was that he had only three more years to live. Alas, in May 1614 he was struck down by a fever and died two weeks later. As we mentioned, Danylo did leave a son to rule after him, but unfortunately young Pylip was only 12 years old when his father died. A little too young to take the reins of power, argued the leading figures of Zaporozhian society who quickly organized themselves into a Regency Council with powers to rule during Pylip's minority.

1614-regency.jpg

This wouldn't have been so bad, but somehow Fungus Khan himself seemed to have wormed his way onto the Regency Council, on the grounds that someone had to represent the interests of the Muslim minority. Thus, when the Council met together to discuss the urgent necessity of getting into another war, and when the motion was put forward that the Turks were the obvious candidates for tasting Cossack steel once again, Fungus Khan did everything in his power to derail the motion.

By 1617 the situation was getting desperate and the more clear-headed members of the Council were now begging young Pylip to assume power. Fortunately he was definitely showing signs of maturity, not to mention a healthily warlike nature. Quickly a coronation ceremony was arranged, and the Regency Council was dissolved.

1617-tothrone-pylip.jpg

Pylip's administrative skills were sadly lacking, and his diplomatic skills were mediocre, but he proved to be more than competent in the warmongering department. The very first thing that he did, only two weeks after taking power, was to pick a fight with the Ottoman Empire over the province of Azow. To Pylip, the matter was obvious.

1617-zaporozhie.jpg

Of course, sabre-rattling with the mighty Ottoman Empire was a pretty reckless way of starting his reign, and several of his closest advisors argued that he should wait for a more opportune time, such as when the Turks were already being overrun by several other nations, but Pylip would hear none of it. Had not God himself appointed him as the liberator of the lands around the Black Sea currently infested by the Despicable Infidel Turks? There was obviously not a moment to lose.

And so in April 1618 the Azow boundary dispute escalated into all-out war. The Sultan's vassals Transylvania, Wallachia and Ragusa naturally joined in. The Russian Tsar Fyodor II, who it should be noted was actually married to Danylo's sister Elizaveta, also came to the aid of his nephew, but rather hesitantly, expressing doubts about whether this was really a wise thing to do. Sultan Suleyman I's armies immediately began marching on Zaporozhie.

It was at this point that Pylip launched his secret weapon, the Cossack Marine Commandos, led by Colonel Dracho Rekhlessovitch. This fearless commander and his small but intrepid task force were to be transported by the Zaporozhian fleet to the northern shores of Anatolia where they would harry and pillage the enemy lands preventing vital troops and supplies from reaching the frontlines. Alas it was as they were sailing through the Gulf of Varna that it became clear how ill-matched the Zaporozhian Navy actually was when they came face to face with a huge Turkish fleet. All five Cossack ships were sunk and Colonel Rekhlessovitch only escaped by clinging to a piece of wreckage in the open sea for six days before being washed up on the shores of Bessarabia. It was back to the drawing board for the Cossack Marine Commandos…

Although the Cossacks fought bravely and fiercely on both the western and eastern fronts, it is noteworthy that their best generals and most of their troops were concentrated in the west. Thus the province of Bessarabia was captured by September, and Transylvania the following January. Both Silistria and Wallachia were also besieged but never surrendered. Meanwhile in the east the Russians took Lugansk, and began a siege of the disputed province of Azow. But the Turks forced their way into Kaffa, capturing it in October 1618. A subsequent siege of Crimea was finally broken in a horrendously bloody conflict in March 1619.

1619-battle-crimea.jpg

The war raged on for several more months without any more notable developments. In particular although the Russians seemed to have been besieging Azow for years it had still not surrendered. The Cossack armies were getting weaker and weaker while the Turks just kept on coming. Finally in August 1619 Pylip sent an offer of peace to Sultan Suleyman, demanding that he hand over the Orthodox province of Bessarabia. Thankfully the Sultan agreed and the war came to an end.

Once more the proud Cossack armies had failed to reach the gates of Constantinople and they had lost their entire fleet, but the Orthodox Alliance had proved that they could take on the Ottoman Empire single-handed and defeat them. Pylip was hailed as a hero and was able to bask in the praise and adoration of his people for a few short months.

Then in March 1620, rather unexpectedly, he died.

Being still of the tender age of eighteen, the Hetman had not actually got around to marrying anyone, let alone begetting any heirs to the throne. This caused more than a little consternation in Zaporozhie for, according to the new succession laws, the rightful heir to the throne was none other than Pylip's cousin Ivan, the son of Tsar Fyodor II, who was also of course the next in line to the throne of Russia. And when Tsar Fyodor himself died less than two months later, the Zaporozhians found themselves under the admittedly extremely competent rule of the young Russian Tsar Ivan VI.

ivan-vi.jpg

Ivan VI rockets to fame with the smash hit "I Wanna be a Hetman"

1620-europe.jpg

Europe in 1620, showing Zaporozhie's new neighbours: Austria, Transylvania and Wallachia​
 
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Did you just go and get yourself Personal Unionised?
 
King Pylip's unexpected death may be explained by the suriving members of the Cossack Marine Corps who were seen leaving the scene with blood dripping from thier swords.

The Russian, who were always up for a spot of mayhem, had been looking to advance west sent in Ivan VI to make sure the Cossacks did not have any more bright ideas.

Will the Orthodox Alliance grow by two members, Transylvania and Wallachia? Raisining numoerous cavalry units of Mongol Maruaders might just give Fungus the opportunity to, ermm die ermm, terrify the Poles and Lithuanians. Meanwhile the Crim Tartars, who like building boats, must do nothing but produce ships for the Black Corsairs. Who'd have thought the Turkish navy would actually do something useful?
 
RGB: Quite correct - it's a personal union with Mother Russia, my one and only Royal Marriage... :rolleyes:

JaxomCA: Considering that Azow is Mongol and Sunni it's difficult to see how Zaporozhie managed to fabricate this core claim - "obviously misaligned border" seemed the safest line to take.

Chief Ragusa: I think you're on to something there concerning the Cossack Marines. I notice Colonel Rekhlessovitch is keeping a suspiciously low profile. :p As for the Turkish Navy, it seems they don't venture north too often, but try getting anywhere near Constantinople and WHAM! you're sunk, as they say...

Judas Maccabeus: Alas no - I'm the junior partner. :(

J.Passepartout: Yes, I'm afraid Podolia is becoming a serious cartographic aberration. An obviously misaligned border if ever there was one!

And now a couple of gameplay questions:

1) I had intended to annex Transylvania in the last war as well as taking Bessarabia from the Turks. But since they are vassals of the Ottomans they weren't allowed to accept my peace offer of annexation once I'd captured their single province - so is it in fact impossible to annex someone else's vassal in a peace treaty? What if I DoWed Transylvania instead of the Ottoman Empire? The OE would probably still be war leader, right?

2) When I was personal unionized I was initially sharing Fyodor II with Russia (he was already Tsar of Russia and became Hetman of Zaporozhie). According to the manual a PU only lasts until that ruler dies. So he died two months later in fact, but instead of getting separate rulers we continued sharing Ivan VI. So what's the deal? Was this exceptional because Fyodor died so soon?

Any help or info gratefully received!

And finally I am leaving tomorrow for a week and a half climbing mountains on the Isle of Skye so this AAR will be on hold for about two weeks. Don't worry - it is not abandoned!
 
I believe you can force the Ottomans to release thier vassals via a peace treaty, I know you can also force them to release nations that they conquered, said nations automatically becoming your ally. Releasing nations takes 25% warscore per nation...don't know about releasing vassals though.
 
Farquharson said:
1) I had intended to annex Transylvania in the last war as well as taking Bessarabia from the Turks. But since they are vassals of the Ottomans they weren't allowed to accept my peace offer of annexation once I'd captured their single province - so is it in fact impossible to annex someone else's vassal in a peace treaty? What if I DoWed Transylvania instead of the Ottoman Empire? The OE would probably still be war leader, right?
Click to expand...

If you declare war on Transylvania, they will be the war leader. However, they will be unable to make peace until you make a separate peace with their liege. I think you can then make any kind of offers to Transylvania, including annexation. If you want to be sure, force the Sultan to let them go. If you feel adventurous, take whatever you want from the Sultan and then annex their vassal.

I can't help you with the personnal union. In my very first EU3 game as Muscovy, I became the junior partner in a union with Yaroslav. That union lasted for over 30 years, completely wrecking my plans for early conquests. Since then, I avoid royal marriage like I avoid Crim Tatars. :)
 
Excellent little war. The whole business over the Azow border was, however, clearly just a smokescreen, a misdirection, as clearly Zaprozhnie wishes to be a Balkan Master! :eek:
 
Yes, fun as it is to pick on the Turk, the Poles have more to offer. Like Podolia.
 
Randomosity said:
I believe you can force the Ottomans to release thier vassals via a peace treaty, I know you can also force them to release nations that they conquered, said nations automatically becoming your ally. Releasing nations takes 25% warscore per nation...don't know about releasing vassals though.
Click to expand...

What version are you using? In my game it's 50% warscore, no alliance, and relations of precisely 0 with a released nation. Your game seems to have a much better system than mine, though.

And I guess with the two Pers. Unions in a row, you just got a really unlucky sequence of rulers; it's a probability thing, like how infinite crim tartars given building tools and infinite time will eventually build something close to a ship.
 
The latest update it got reduced to 25% I believe, they've always become my ally, and I have to get them out of my alliance because they always drag me into unwanted wars with either other allies or powerful nations.
 
Colonel Rekhlessovitch reporting as requested, SIR!

I regret not reporting earlier, but I was in recovery from my near death ordeal, aided by several very pretty wenches. Need to keep up one's strength when one is at the drawing board for the Cossack Marine Commandos and planning a second attempt at an assault in Anatolia.

Question, sir, ah... I have some medical bills coming due here soon, and was wondering if there is a major medical insurance plan available for servants of Zaporozhie or if possibly I could get an advance on those 1000 roubles per day?

**

Perhaps the dear Colonel could have his recklessness better used as a diplomat for Zaporozhie? I mean, the country does have a track record of picking fights with vastly stronger enemies, eh? :p
 
Catch up! :D

Glad to see new Farquharson AAR even if I'm not familiar with EU3 yet. You choose difficult yet interesting country to play.
So are the monarchs in EU3 kind of random?
I demand you to conquer Masovia - it's real sich all that rabble here are Cossacks waiting for liberation and would be really glad to leave that pigsty and join glorious Cossack nation :cool:
Oh, and don't forget that cossacks Navy shall reach Baltic as it was in reality!!!
 
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