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We Are Not a Road, We Are a Country!

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We Are Not a Road, We Are a Country!​

It is quite a thing to leave Lauwers gallops behind the main force as they head for Holstein in remarkable speed! But what is this madness the Danes have sent their new main man Krieger to dispatch the left over Lauwers, who by personally choice is really not a lawyer. Outnumbered and overeducated, Lauwers battles at Flensburg, until the time of…well something good happens or so we hope.

And with our great thinking – or by sheer accident – we hoist our flag over the people of Holstein! To be annexed is truly remarkable, we were once annexed by the great frog of Napoleon. It turns out he really wasn’t a frog, but rather a Corsican! A truly relieving moment it was, when the truth was found.

War is rather exciting, an extreme sport of sorts. Yet war when intermixed with ideological politics is nothing more than a snore! Nevertheless, the great people were to “landed” in their weight, and never partook of the great delight of bore! What a use for a person’s plump figure. Determine it does, an election of great importance, as the incumbent party succeeds once more.

Yet, a new challenge of sorts always arise at the most convenient and relevant times! To them we speak, bring it on! Bring it on again! For we can quickly dispense our landed weight to sleek beauty.

(January 1st, 1845 - May, 29th, 1845)

32845annexjt3.jpg

Image Provided by: "The Coloring Book of Beneluxian History" by Brother Jacobs​
 
A rather amusing post. Well done.
 
We Are Not a Road, We Are a Country!​

Oh forgotten person, whose name the great books of historical events have dispensed! At fault I, Jacobs, the Brother of Men, am I, for falling to the great temptation and forgetting your name brave man! Dare I say the bravest man in war between two countries [of the time]? Who so valiantly storms the beaches of Viborg, entrapping the great host of Danes at Ribe!

And to Smets, the great admiral who fought in the pits against the dogged bites and blows of a deadly foe in the greatest naval fight! Nothing but praiseful remarks are left to the books, for a man of great youth and prestige you are! A pity it is that you must die, for cherished you are, as the great longboats set to sea to vanquish our fleet.

And to Ribe, Lauwers musters our attention! A marvelous, most excellent military victory – or most one-sided battle – plays out with a flawless script! Lauwers oh Lauwers, a shame it is we remember your name over the great leader who stormed ashore at Viborg! When you stood confronted by a great host, you called for assistance, forming a great military coalition! For that we must remember you Lauwers, a man who sucked his pride and asked the great question when in a time of need!

(May 29th, 1845 - July 15th, 1845)

71545battleue1.jpg

Image Provided by: "The Coloring Book of Beneluxian History" by Brother Jacobs​
 
One-sided victories had better be glorious. I mean they wouldn't be one-sided if they were hard-fought, or near-run-things would they? ;)
 
I see the road is expanding... maybe someday it will become a freeway.
 
We Are Not a Road, We Are a Country!​

Ah Lauwers, it is time to draw attention and glory away from your great fame, for you cannot do what our dearest dreams of a expansive freewa---no, EMPIRE can want! Dispatch we will our wooden fortresses onto the rough seas and sail north I say! North to the lands that are green during the summer, but frigid during the winter! To Iceland we dispense your new friend and foe Lauwers, who shall draw away from your fame.

And in the last days of summer, but before the beginning of fall, our great troops march onto ample fields of green. Not a drop of blood shall ruin the magnificent green pastures that are beginning to freeze! In great wisdom we sail again, to a land where it is nothing but a sheet of ice, edged by what none in their right mind would call pastures for their home nor family! To Greenland we shall break the ice with a warm reception and parade!

And when we have liberated the great sheet of ice, sail we do to the greatest colony of all. It is sweet to take it from the opposite gender! There is a faith in the world that suggests when you die, you shall be rewarded with seventy-two of them. Paradise it is, paradise is the Virgin Islands!

At great thing we learn from the wonderful women, who cringe at the sight of us! And to the sheer amazement of men, a rifle can be loaded from the muzzle! Much like a condom slides down protecting from the vile creation of total damnation!

And oh great Danes, you have but no choice to accept our great offer! Strip down all your possessions! Do not ask for what, because your only option is you must! Cede the pants of colonialism to the new master! Cede your virgins from the green pastures and frozen shores, and submit before the world a humiliated nation.

(July 15th, 1845 - January 9th, 1846)

(Notes: Denmark accepts treaty ceding Virgin Islands, Greenland and Iceland to the Benelux.)
 
Mighty ocean-spanning Empire indeed.
 
TekcoR: ...(Notes: Denmark accepts treaty ceding Virgin Islands, Greenland and Iceland to the Benelux.)

most excellent ! ! :D

magnificent updates! ! :cool:
 
We Are Not a Road, We Are a Country!​

Oh by the mighty name of the Lord! Why do you people want more when you clearly already have enough? Dare you disturb the great rule of a mighty conservative? There is no need to dispense your smears of change amongst the great and subdued populace of this empire!

Settle down people! If it is change you want, never fear we shall listen to your concerns, but only with one ear! Gold is the best way to bring about change, territorial change that is! Oh great Danes, did you not think of what we would use your precious Holstein for? Surely you must answer no! To the Prussians it goes! To our treasury they send 10,500,000 pounds! All for what, ah yes! A simple war with a nation whose military stood as no match for us!

What is this? You people are just plain evil! Why are you, the very people of Breda throwing the ammunition from the recently completed factory at us? Why do you revolt? Do you seriously want change? Too bad you pitiful fools! Your ears shall soon hear the distinctive sound of boots against brick as the soldiers have been dispatched!

Uhmmm, yeah about that great citizens, the king is truly sorry! And you shall be given change! Is fourteen hours of working a day more reasonable, but reserve he does, our great king, the right to call you in on the weekends! We cannot harm you poor helpless defenseless people! We are in a time of need! War has approached the face of Europe! The French have declared a vendetta against the Swiss for surely a rotten case of cheese. And so the French must whine their sorrows away with war! But what is this? The British are coming!

(January 9th, 1846 - December 31st, 1846)

(Notes: France declares war on Switzerland. British declare war on France. Benelux survives another day.)
 
Oh I don't know, rebels help break up the monotomy of a year.
 
TekcoR: ...France declares war on Switzerland. British declare war on France. Benelux survives another day.

what was those French thinking? ? that is worse than a DOW on Prussia without the ability to go thru the Benelux! ! :eek:

excellent update! ! :cool:


Duke of Wellington: Damn rebels :mad:

well said ! ! :)


stnylan: Oh I don't know, rebels help break up the monotomy of a year.

to each his own! ! ;)
 
Glad to see the incorporation of that little freeway joke... :D

Great AAR... maybe you can take the colonial land from Portugal as well??? ;)
 
@joebthegreat - sometimes you just gotta take others jokes and suggestions to make your own comedy better. It takes awhile for me to come up with something that I think is remotely funny. After quite a few years have passed in game, it gets harder to think of funny things.

@Ghostwriter -- I admit, this war seems rather boring, mostly because the Benelux isn't involved, prolly the first (and only) time a foregin army hasn't bee on the soil!

@Duke of Wellington -- Damn rebels or parade gone wrong? I really wouldn't call about 300 "revolters" a rebellion...though we know how reliable of a narrator Brother Jacobs is.

@stylan -- About that year it was really boring, more boring than watching my eldest kid (almost 2 years) empty the toy box, refill it, then repeat the process for about the next three hours.

@Others who don't post -- Enjoy reading and maybe build up the courage to respond. Thanks all.
 
TekcoR said:
...@Ghostwriter -- I admit, this war seems rather boring, mostly because the Benelux isn't involved, prolly the first (and only) time a foreign army hasn't been on the soil!...
Click to expand...
having foreign combat on "the soil" is an experience i have not had, so, does foreign combat trash your provinces same as if you were an active participant in the war? ?

tia
 
We Are Not a Road, We Are a Country!​

Forced into the very deep thoughts of irrationality we are when the most dire of moments arrive at our doorstep. With the roaming Frogs to our left, the ambitious Prussians to our right, and the seafaring kingdom above, we must decide with whom our loyalties lay! The choice of naval protection throws us into a European powder-keg of land war. The choice of the powder-keg, leaves our colonial holdings open to naval invasion! Then our decision is clearly marked, to the Prussians we will go. To the Prussian we shall ally! Indeed our road shall become one-way!

Horrid are the responses of the French, who now face a combined threat. But France, it is not within our capabilities to strike at you just quite yet. Duke it out with Britain you shall, for as you weaken each other we only strengthen our resolve! But watch out of conquered Danes, the Austrians have been revived with a temper! Truly angry they are for Holstein being lost to us masters of the road. But declare the war on you they do, for they do not know what proper transport is like!

And cement our way into the future we shall we this great achievement of a factory in the mighty state of Vlaandern! “Today people,” the king proclaims, “the structure of our market has been reorganized!” And I must admit, I was present at this great moment for say I: “The management must be new!” With his sly nod the king looked on, the troops were coming with their boots of iron to the great province we stood in. A revolt had occurred.

(January 1st, 1847 - December 31st, 1847)

(Notes: Cement Factory complete in Vlaandern. Market structure is researched.)
 
Another revolt? Oh well, more practice for the troops.
 
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