Chapter 26
Second set - The Failure of a Republic
Berlin, April 23rd, 2004.
April 23rd was to be remembered for many as the day when Mathias Rust, after nearly avoiding colliding with the Big Ben, after circling the city for some time, he was able to land his Reims Cessna F172P D-ECJB on Southwark Bridge.
Good old Ducky was not going to be one of those, as he had his own reasons to remeber that day.
Rust, after bien arrested by the British bobbies, would claim -during his trial for hooliganism, disregard of aviation laws and breaching of the British tea time break- that he had escaped from Germany to warn the world that an evil worst than any had the world ever dreamt had befallen over the Reich.
The claim might have caused some upheaval had not been revelead that Rust had a serious mental illnes which dated back to 1989, when, while doing his obligatory community service (
Zivildienst) in a German hospital, he stabbed a female co-worker who had rejected him. The injuries were life-threatening and he was sentenced to four years in prison for attempted murder and was released after having served fifteen months. Sentenced to four years, Rust will fade into oblivion.
As said, Ducky was not one of those who would remember Rust flight, due to several reasons. It will be wiser to leave the most important one, related with his wife, to later on. But not oo late.
The day had started badly to him. As it was the normal use in those days, he kept fighting (and loosing) his doomed war against his is Private Secretary, Bernard von Schwarzerwäldchen, and the Permament Secretary of the DAA, Humbert Freiherr von Funck. It goes without saying that he was loosing badly the fight.
The battle of that day began with a problem of interpretation. Bernard was patiently waiting for his minister to understand some pice of impenetrable prose that Duckie had to read in answer to a question that he had made yesterday. And damned be the need of making the silly rot question, Duckie thought.
-So, Bernard... I've read it... very interesting... very dense... very... what the heck does that mean?
-Minister, it means that nothwistanding the provisions of paragraph B of subsection 3 of Section A of Clause 73321 of Chapter 20th of the Administrative Procedures Act of 1987, it has been agreeed that, insofar as the implementation of the statutory provisions is concerned, the resolution of anomalies and uncertainties between responsible deparment shall fall within the purview of the Minister for Administrative Affairs.
After Duckie gazed at Bernad blankly for almost an eternity and a half, and realizing that Bernard had not noticed that Duckie had not understood a single word of all, our dear Minister, who began to feel quite miserable at that time, said:
-Thank you very much indeed for reading me aloud what I have just read, Bernard, but... what does it
mean?
Bernard just looked blankly to his minister and answered:
-What it says, Minister.
-F**k. This is going to be long day.... - Duckie muttered to himself-. Ok, Fine, that mean that. Let's go for the next topic. What comes next?
-Minister, you are seeing a deputation form the Trade Union Federation in fifteen minutes, and from the Council for the Protection of Rural Germany gahlf an hour later, and finally, there is the meeting with the NUTs at 12 noon...
-The NUTs?
-The National Union of Teachers, Minister.
-So fitting... erm... what do they all want... in just a few words, please?
-They are all worried about the machinery for inflation, deflation and reflation, Minister.
Feeling like bicycle pump instead of a Minister of the German Crown, Duckie just rose to face his fate. Trying to put a brave face, he said, while making his way to the door.
-You know, Bernard. The Kaiser wants us, his ministers, to govern. Not just preside like our predecessors did. When a nation's been going own downhill you need someone to get into the driving seat and put his foot on the accelerator.
-Perhaps you mean the break, Minister? -replied Bernard.
Duckie simply did not know whether he was beign helpful or putting him down.
Later on, that day, Duckie was to have a nice surprise when she found his two wives discussing.
-What is going on?
-We are going to decide about who of the two is going to go to bed with you -said Käthe, deeply serious looking at Käthe's face. A coin shun on her hand- Ready?
After looking sides, the coin was thrown into the air. It twisted and spinned until it was back again into Kathe's hand.
-Head -said Alix- I win! I win! I win!
While Alix, mad with happiness, began to jump and race all over the place, Käthe sat down, looked defeated. She looked so bad that Duckie felt awfully bad, so he sat by her side and surrounded her shoulders with him arm.
-Don't be so sad, my love. I'll sleep with you tomorrow, don't...
-Oh, shut up, you fool! -she answered, raising from the chair and grasping him by the neck- I'm going to sleep with you tonight, 'cause I lost!
As said in the beginning, Duckie was unable to forget that April 23rd...
Not the following morning, when he overhead a private chitchat of the two ladies.
-You know, Alix... after all, it's not so bad... and Duckie is quite... surprising... He needs some practising, you know...
Was that the beginning of a change?
Duckie went to work that day with a happy, huge, silly grin on his face.
Thus, while Germany's fate was being settled, one of his ministers was completely unaware of that.