• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

dhomas

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August 16, 1944

As expected, the Chinese don't stand a chance as New Zealand pushes down on them with 40 divisions, some of them armoured, while the Chinese resistance consists mostly of militia.



With wealthy Sichuan finally taken, only the barren hills of Gansu province remain in the enemy's hand.

Savage: My finger is on the button :D WAIT WHAT



Savage: What the hell! How can they simply annex this other country when in truth they were about to be annexed!? YOU ARE BLOODY CHEATING!!

Freyberg: Well technically they are allies...

Savage: So what? Then I want to do the same! We're allies, so let's annex UK and Australia! :D

Freyberg: :wacko:

Savage: Grr! I had enough of this! They think they can do clever diplomacy? Well surprise, NZ can do clever diplomacy too!

Freyberg: Huh?



Savage: As I said, clever diplomacy!

Freyberg: And what exactly happened?



Freyberg: WHAT? You brokered a peace with China and made them your puppet? But why? When we had already conquered it!

Savage: Relax, Freyberg! I just made a new plan... I will tell you later, don't kill the suspense!

Freyberg: Well at least I didn't have to march through thousand miles of desert in order to capture the last VP locations....

Savage: Right! Now, let's mop up Japan real quick and I'll tell you what I have in mind!


------------------------------------------


The Imperial Japanese Navy is already destroyed, so the invincible transport fleet just steamrolls the pacific islands.



Savage: It's not island hopping, but island mopping :D

Freyberg: :rolleyes:


Until, finally, the fateful day arrives...




The full extent of NZ domination in Asia...

 

dhomas

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The war in the Pacific is concluded. Japan has been annexed and China is now a puppet of New Zealand. Savage, Freyberg and Carr are relaxing in their new holiday resort in the Philippines...




---------------------------


Freyberg: Nice! But seriously, why the hell did you not annex China? We already conquered them!

Savage: Yes, and they will be annexed, trust me! But this is all part of my ingenious plan... why annex them? We don't need their IC. The only thing they have is endless manpower!

Freyberg: Yeah, and we can't use it.

Savage: Exactly! Instead, we will let THEM use it... muhahaha!

Freyberg: I'm not sure I understand?

Savage: In the coming months, China will produce gazillions of infantry and militia. Part of those we will buy at a really cheap rate, and the other part.... well, let's just say we shall put them to good use. :p

Freyberg: Hm... they'll be an army of cheap cannon fodder... exactly the thing NZ is lacking! But what would we need it for? Are we going to war again?

Savage: Yes! We are going to war again - the masterplan is coming together! With our newly acquired puppet army, we can do it! Things will get bigger... a lot bigger! We will rule - we will conquer! THE WORLD! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

 

dhomas

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Chapter 8 - Soviet Nazis

January 1, 1945. This will be a long year, so let's make it short:



Freyberg: :eek:
Carr: :eek:
Savage: :D

Freyberg: uh...

Savage: Well? What do you think?

Freyberg: OK, I'm not going to pretend that I'm shocked anymore. I mean, we've already conquered half the world. So let's have a little less drama and a little more battle please :)

Savage: Aww... but I love the drama so much :(


-----------------------


Two weeks later, and Kiwi troops have conquered Vladivostok.



Freyberg: Everything's frozen, but that hasn't stopped me before! On the contrary, it allows me to hold a huge frontline and defend it with just a couple of men!

Savage: Exactly, and our puppet China can hold the line in southern Siberia! Soviets are preoccupied in Germany, and what's better, English troops are starting to push into Central Asia!



Freyberg: Just as they think they're winning the war, we come to bite them in the arse :D


-----------------------


April 1, 1945

After the Russian Far East army of about 30 divisions is wiped out, the Kiwi force is free to roam at will. Swiftly all ports are occupied. Both sides of the Pacific are now wholly under NZ control!




Savage: I can understand Stalin doesn't want to send any troops... he's standing at the gates of Berlin!



Freyberg: Yes... if the Nazis surrender quickly then Russia will crush us with 300 divisions!

Savage: Don't worry Freyberg! Nazis being Nazis, they won't surrender even though they don't have a chance! There's been no allied landing in France, so the situation is not quite as dire! Let Stalin run all his troops into Germany, meanwhile we'll slowly eat up his country from the south and the east, haha! Ahahah! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
 

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Well I do hope you get past the Urals quickly since most of the USSR IC is either in the Urals or in European Russia. Some small patches are scatered along the trans Siberian railway.
 

unmerged(291207)

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I was away from forum for a long, long time, but that story has drew me back :D It's really fun seeing New Zealand conquering the world. My absence had a good side though: I've read, that you go for a trip for a year, than I shrugged and proceeded to the next post send a year later... :)

I am impressed of course and I simply like watching (and using) ground attack tactics. Just personal bias. It would be OP, hadn't it be New Zealand :) I am very curious though of the outcome of war with Soviets. It can be harder even, than USA. You haven't annexed China, so they still have their old level of technology. Their infantry will be truly cannon fodder, yet with no cannons to throw them at the enemy. And a winter can eat up your MP in no time. For now it was all jungle and beaches, but it's time to shear the sheep and prepare some sweaters. So I really want to see, how you win this one. Or lose, should it happen, every WC plan this far has come to that in the end, so no shame, really :)

I hope seeing some serious kiwi trip report soon!
 

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Great to see this continuing. Let the Kiwi Empire reign!
 

dhomas

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It would be OP, hadn't it be New Zealand :)
It's very much OP now. Basically I have 24 wings of CAS, 16 TAC and loads of FTR. By this point I'm really getting tired of using the same tactics over and over again.

Now the updates are lots of work for me, because I played that game long ago and I need to remember what happened, which battles were actually defining etc. Take for example Soviet Union, there were lots of battles and irritations which I'm going to skip because I'm tired of this report. So I'll just present you with the results.

Gameplay wise, nothing new is happening anymore. I'll just deploy 50 divisions of expeditionary INF, rotate 2x12 CAS day and night, and the enemy can't do anything, even in winter. No need for ingenious tactics anymore, I guess the beginning was much more interesting :)

There are a couple of interesting points though, I'll get an update out ASAP.
 

unmerged(291207)

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Yes, that's a pattern, this game stops to be exciting, when you grow powerful. Yet to real World Conquest you need to take London, too :) (I know, that you don't play anymore, but maybe this could be a challenge? You don't have much navy, I think. Just saying :) )
In any case it's cool there will be an update. Let nobody doubt Red Army can be defeated by mighty Kiwi's!
 

dhomas

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July 13, 1945.
Fast forward 3 months: New Zealand has conquered Mongolia and all but overrun the Far East.




Savage: Not thanks to our Chinese puppets however!

Freyberg: Yeah, why the hell do they have a peace treaty with our enemy!? Isn't the only reason we let them live that they can fight for us?




Savage: TERRITORIAL CLAIMS ON NEW ZEALAND!? Argh! YOU WILL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH!.... SOON! And look at what our English "friends" have done!

Indeed, the British have driven their tanks through the Central Asian plains with virtually zero resistance.




Savage: GAH! How dare they! Quick, Freyberg, you have to overtake them! They can keep some desert, but Ural and European Russia must belong to us!

Freyberg: Yes sir... :wacko:


-----------------------


September 10, 1945

Soviets offer virtually zero resistance. They keep redeploying single divisions towards the east, where they are immediately destroyed by NZ Airforce.
Meanwhile, NZ motorized troops (and HQ, which is somehow faster) roam the land at will.



Savage: Keep going! Almost there!


-----------------------


October 18, 1945

It is done! British troops have been contained, and are now pushing with NZ towards...




Savage: :eek:

Freyberg: !!







Freyberg: HELLOOO Anybody there??

Savage: Oh wow. They'd rather park all their troops in Germany instead of defending their home. Duh...


-----------------------


December 27, 1945

With only a token force, Kiwis are effortlessly conquering northwestern Russia.




Freyberg: And it's even frozen! Oh man...

Now Soviets find themselves between a rock (Germans) and a hard place (Kiwis)! Finally, the last of the soldiers is redeployed and the full might of New Zealand descends upon the Soviets!




Carr: you said hard LOL!!

Freyberg: ...

Carr: :D

Savage: Now! For the most part of this campaign, our forces have been stuck in constant redeployment, because we simply pushed the front way too fast :D But now, all our foot infantry has arrived and we are pushing into Europe!! Soviet Union is a real paper tiger, no, paper bear! Muha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


------------------------


 

Capt. Kiwi

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Some interesting corps names there :D

And believe it or not it's not the first time I've seen NZ HQs take Moscow... though last time it was via Italy, not the East.
 

unmerged(291207)

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So. Kiwis on sightseeing trip. March through Siberia like walk in the park. Freyberg wanted to meet someone, but Carr have scared everybody off. I did overestimated USSR, but maybe it's for the better. New Zealand is the only superpower now and nobody will dare to say "paper Kiwi" :D
Will there be a trip to Berlin, or London?

Some interesting corps names there :D
I could have missed this. And it gives everything nice touch. They really have sent everybody they had :)
 

dhomas

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January 22, 1946

Germany is having fun bullying the poor Royal Navy!



Carr: LOL


------------------------------------


The situation: The Soviet Union is basically crushed, and the ever growing Kiwi army advances onto Axis territory.



Freyberg: Wow, even the "Troupes d'Afrique Centrale" are at my command now!

Indeed, declaring war on Iraq last year has made a land connection between Africa and British Persia, and Frenchies are redeploying all their Africans to Europe.

Freyberg: I South African Corps... wow... and to imagine those guys didn't come by ship! All the coasts are under enemy control!

Savage: ...all the coasts? Don't be so sure! :D





Savage: That's right - we're landing more troops! The whole invasion from the east is going too slow - I wanna annex some countries! Yeah!

Freyberg: ...

Savage: Do you know how long it has been since I annexed something? Mongolia, I think, was the last one!

Freyberg: :wacko:

Savage: Greece is in reach of our large airbase at Sevastopol, also the Brits have bases at Crete and Cyprus - it's perfect!


---------------------------


February 4, 1946

The front is moving slowly, but Germany has recaptured their capital and is recovering. The Balkan countries are easy prey though!



Through the massive size of NZ's airforce it is possible to mow down the Balkan defenders while at the same time containing the Germans in the north.




The first nation falls before the Kiwis!

Savage: It's the first European country in my collection! Yeah! :D




-----------------------------


Although the Germans are resisting very hard, Kiwis manage again and again to drive them into pockets.



Not after long, the once-300-division army is reduced to a mere token force.



Savage: That's even less than us!

Freyberg: Well, most of these are colonial troops from France...

Savage: SILENCE!! More importantly, *click*



New Zealand is slowly conquering the mountainous Balkan, even the Italian Alpini have no chance.



Savage: Also, *click*




------------------------------


February 27, 1946

The last remaining Soviet Troops are fleeing to Danzig, which coincidentially is their last VP province. But Kiwis are in pursuit!



Savage: WAAH! You must get to Danzig before the Germans! Just imagine what would happen if those guys press the button before me!!!

Freyberg: ok.. :wacko:

But all is well that ends well:





Savage: WAHAHAHA! It's incredible! The Soviet Union! We've annexed them! Muha! Now nobody will doubt my greatness ever again, hahaha! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Freyberg: :wacko:
 

dhomas

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Hitler doesn't play a part in this - I don't really enjoy historical "fanfiction", especially not about controversial characters. Except if they are over-the-top and hilarious!


Freyberg: Hey! We're not some funny joke! We're dead serious! :mad:

Savage: ....MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH MUHAHAHAHAHA....

Freyberg: Ok, maybe not :sad:
 

dhomas

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March 2, 1946

Savage: A lot has happened! But first, *click*



Freyberg: ...

The Kiwi army is now in full pursuit. Prussia is still heavily guarded, but Freyberg is leading a push into Austria to separate the North from Italia.



Freyberg: Yeah, those Italian guys have a bigger army than Germany now, but they seem to hole up back in Rome and await their doom? Suits me!


---------------------------


The situation is developing - and a huge pocket is forming.



Freyberg has tears in his eyes.

Freyberg: This is so beautiful... *sniff*... Blitzkrieg on the Germans... I will be the hero of this war!


----------------------------

March 19, 1946

After some heavy battles (due to frozen Terrain), the pocket in Poland is finally closed and the majority of German forces annihilated.



Freyberg: It's all but over! That was a bit of work!

Savage: By the way, *click*



Freyberg: *sigh*


---------------------------

The resistance has been broken, the floodgates are open, and hordes of Kiwis are pouring into Germany.



Carr: WOOHOOOO LOL :D





---------------------------

Savage: Nice. But what is this?



Carr: LOL WHUT!?

Freyberg: Oh god. They have bunkered 95 divisions in their homeland.... crap!

Savage: Duh....


----------------------------


1 Month later

After losing several battles, Kiwi forces have been pushed back over the river - Italians are just too strong!



Freyberg: I never thought I'd see the day... Italy is actually the strongest opponent so far. We can't do a thing!

Savage: Well, let's just wait... I'm sure they will do some stupid stuff in time!


----------------------------


Interlude

Savage: While you're waiting, I have some news for you!

Freyberg: What?

Savage: Panama and El Salvador declared war on us!

Freyberg: ???

Savage: Anyway, this it what it looks like now:



Carr: LOL

Savage: They were so stupid - I didn't even have to declare war and suffer dissent! The most difficult thing was to get somebody to go over there to occupy the willing populace :D

Freyberg: Oh man...


----------------------------


Another 2 weeks later

Freyberg: Italy is digging in, but they can't dig forever! I've outmaneuvered them and now it's over - the airforce will crush you!



Carr: I will CARRUSH them!! LOL!

Freyberg: :wacko:

And over it is indeed! As the italian frontlines are in disarray, Kiwi motorized troops overtake them and storm the entire country - it barely takes another 2 weeks!




-----------------------------

June 11, 1946

The mighty NZ transport fleet lays the final blow to the last of the not-so-mighty Axis powers!



Savage: *click*

 

Capt. Kiwi

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Resilient Italians defending some sort of reverse Gothic line from the north after the collapse of Germany? Madness!

Also, Hispania delenda est. The colour is confusing.
 

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What VPs of Germany do you yet need in order to annex them? Or are you holding off for some reason?
 

dhomas

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I haven't shown this, but there was another Axis nation. It's Liberia - as ex-ally of USA they are at war with NZ, and Germany has stationed a sizable Carrier taskforce there :D
Anyway the invincible transport fleet took care of them, as you've grown to expect. Now Germany is truly the last country at war with us!
 
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