Oh god, this is so amazingly fun to read! I almost died when I read about the invincible transports! Huzzah!
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Damn I thought there was a new update.
This was hilarious I would love to see a new instalment, if only our intrepid author could hear me...
This was hilarious I would love to see a new instalment, if only our intrepid author could hear me...
I hear you my friends, and I am very sorry for the big delay! Somehow it takes me a long time to piece together this AAR, and these days I'm neither a student nor unemployed 
But fear not, new updates are on their way! The Kiwi Reich won't be beaten by silly cartographers!
But fear not, new updates are on their way! The Kiwi Reich won't be beaten by silly cartographers!
December 14, 1943
The island hopping campaign proved fruitless. As Freyberg's landing troops neared the coastline of Fukuoka, they painfully had to admit there was no beach in the area.
Freyberg: What the hell! How are we supposed to land? We must retreat to Okinawa!
Carr: And learn Karate LOL
And so, the Kiwi force heads back to Okinawa.
Freyberg: Bollocks... we were so close. There is literally no other possibility to extend our reach! There's no way we can attack Japan now!
Savage: HA-HA!! There is, Freyberg, there is! Finally the moment is at hand!!
Freyberg: ???
Carr: ????
Savage: BEHOLD!!!
Savage: At last the hour of the mutton transport plane has come! Freyberg, while you were playing with your ships, I have taken the liberty to
train a squad of paratroopers! They will land in Fukuoka, secure the port for us and then your forces can land!
Freyberg: Wow, excellent! But, they are still in Malaya...
Savage: ...crap. :sleep:
And thus, the NZ transport fleet runs the gauntlet - AGAIN.
----------------------------
January 17, 1943
Carr: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Freyberg: FINALLY the Paratroopers and the transport plane have arrived in Okinawa! Why do I have to ship the paratroopers with the navy? It's a TRANSPORT plane, for god's sake...
Savage: Anyway, ATTACK!!
Carr himself takes the first jump.
Carr: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Savage: HA, I guess they didn't expect THAT to happen!
Freyberg: :wacko:
With Fukuoka taken, the transports move in and Freyberg secures the beachhead.
Freyberg: Very nice! Quickly, fan out and grab as much land as you can!
Tokyo is quickly isolated and defenders are crushed from above.
Savage: Wow, it must be really cold, if the cartographer says that even the ocean is frozen!
Freyberg: Is it, by any chance, the same cartographer who drew the map of Fukuoka? :sleep:
Savage: ...
The last pockets are reduced...
----------------------
March 1, 1943
Japan is under firm Kiwi control.
Savage: Very nice, Freyberg! But why not occupy Sendai?
Freyberg: I thought they would move their capital here and then we could maybe cut off the supply to the mainland... but it didn't work
Savage: Yeah, they relocated to Busan in Korea. Seems like the mainland supplies itself perfectly well.
Freyberg: Hmm. Still, with only 45 IC, the Chinese should be able to push them back, and they will crush Japan for us.
Savage: AHA! Freyberg! But that is exactly the problem!
Freyberg: The problem? :wacko:
Savage: Yes Freyberg, the problem! If China gets its land back, they are gonna swarm us with troops! It's gonna be a nightmare!
Freyberg: Hm, so what do you suggest?
Savage: I was just waiting for you to ask
Freyberg: :sleep:
Savage: Do you remember how, last year, I said we'd only send about half our troops for the Japan expedition?
Freyberg: Yes, actually. What about the other troops?
Savage: They are already underway, solving our problem..... you will see in the next update! HAHA! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The island hopping campaign proved fruitless. As Freyberg's landing troops neared the coastline of Fukuoka, they painfully had to admit there was no beach in the area.
Freyberg: What the hell! How are we supposed to land? We must retreat to Okinawa!
Carr: And learn Karate LOL
And so, the Kiwi force heads back to Okinawa.
Freyberg: Bollocks... we were so close. There is literally no other possibility to extend our reach! There's no way we can attack Japan now!
Savage: HA-HA!! There is, Freyberg, there is! Finally the moment is at hand!!
Freyberg: ???
Carr: ????
Savage: BEHOLD!!!
Savage: At last the hour of the mutton transport plane has come! Freyberg, while you were playing with your ships, I have taken the liberty to
train a squad of paratroopers! They will land in Fukuoka, secure the port for us and then your forces can land!
Freyberg: Wow, excellent! But, they are still in Malaya...
Savage: ...crap. :sleep:
And thus, the NZ transport fleet runs the gauntlet - AGAIN.
----------------------------
January 17, 1943
Carr: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Freyberg: FINALLY the Paratroopers and the transport plane have arrived in Okinawa! Why do I have to ship the paratroopers with the navy? It's a TRANSPORT plane, for god's sake...
Savage: Anyway, ATTACK!!
Carr himself takes the first jump.
Carr: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Savage: HA, I guess they didn't expect THAT to happen!
Freyberg: :wacko:
With Fukuoka taken, the transports move in and Freyberg secures the beachhead.
Freyberg: Very nice! Quickly, fan out and grab as much land as you can!
Tokyo is quickly isolated and defenders are crushed from above.
Savage: Wow, it must be really cold, if the cartographer says that even the ocean is frozen!
Freyberg: Is it, by any chance, the same cartographer who drew the map of Fukuoka? :sleep:
Savage: ...
The last pockets are reduced...
----------------------
March 1, 1943
Japan is under firm Kiwi control.
Savage: Very nice, Freyberg! But why not occupy Sendai?
Freyberg: I thought they would move their capital here and then we could maybe cut off the supply to the mainland... but it didn't work
Savage: Yeah, they relocated to Busan in Korea. Seems like the mainland supplies itself perfectly well.
Freyberg: Hmm. Still, with only 45 IC, the Chinese should be able to push them back, and they will crush Japan for us.
Savage: AHA! Freyberg! But that is exactly the problem!
Freyberg: The problem? :wacko:
Savage: Yes Freyberg, the problem! If China gets its land back, they are gonna swarm us with troops! It's gonna be a nightmare!
Freyberg: Hm, so what do you suggest?
Savage: I was just waiting for you to ask
Freyberg: :sleep:
Savage: Do you remember how, last year, I said we'd only send about half our troops for the Japan expedition?
Freyberg: Yes, actually. What about the other troops?
Savage: They are already underway, solving our problem..... you will see in the next update! HAHA! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Yes I have to admit that only after finishing this game I realized that Jetstar is actually from Australia... :blush:
Savage: BLASPHEMY!!!!hmy:
Savage: BLASPHEMY!!!!
hmy:
You are killing me! X}
A great read! especially after reading all 400 pages of return of the king hehe. I love the way this AAR spilled all the tention, i am still laughing from page 1... so i guess i will keep laughing until tomorrow!
A great read! especially after reading all 400 pages of return of the king hehe. I love the way this AAR spilled all the tention, i am still laughing from page 1... so i guess i will keep laughing until tomorrow!
March 19, 1943
----------------------------------
Freyberg: So where have you sent the other troops?
Savage: Here!
Freyberg: To Siam! Interesting...
Savage: Of course! Now that we've crippled Japan, the British have started to press into Indochina!
Freyberg: But isn't that good?
Savage: No! UK would gain a lot of land! Have you forgotten? All land must fall to Kiwis!
Freyberg: :wacko:
------------------
The frontlines in March 1943.
Freyberg: OK, we've landed in Battambang. From here we'll dislodge Bangkok defenders...
Freyberg: ...then capture the undefended city from the sea...
Savage: ...MUTTON TRANSPORT ATTAAACK!!
*CLICK*
Freyberg: What the! :blink:
Savage: Muha! The six-day invasion of Siam! It's a new record!
Freyberg: This is just wrong...
--------------------------
Savage: Grrr! I thought all Siam troops would vanish now! :angry:
Freyberg: Nope, actually they have suddenly become Japanese troops, with better doctrine and supply! They are now twice as strong!
Savage: Hmpf, that's cheating! How dare they, after I beat them fair and square
Freyberg: ...
Immediately, 10 divisions are mounting a counterattack into undefendedSiam Kiwi territory. Carr can only delay them a little...
Carr: LOL
But suddenly, a joint British-Canadian-Southafrican-Nepalese-Bhutanese-French taskforce comes to the rescue!
Carr: LOL froggies
Freyberg: Brilliant! British troops are defending the border, so my troops are free again!
--------------------
After another 2 months of grinding jungle warfare, Indochina is firmly in Kiwi hands.
Freyberg: I'll leave it to the Brits to take those two empty provinces... it's too boring to do by myself! :happy:
Savage: Well done Freyberg! And you are right indeed, don't waste your troops in the jungle! I have much more exciting things for you, because this, too, was only another part in my grand design... haha!
Freyberg: Why do I have a funny feeling...
Savage: Ready yourself Freyberg! Because the greatest - and bloodiest - battle the Kiwi Empire has known to date is about to begin! MUHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
----------------------------------
Freyberg: So where have you sent the other troops?
Savage: Here!
Freyberg: To Siam! Interesting...
Savage: Of course! Now that we've crippled Japan, the British have started to press into Indochina!
Freyberg: But isn't that good?
Savage: No! UK would gain a lot of land! Have you forgotten? All land must fall to Kiwis!
Freyberg: :wacko:
------------------
The frontlines in March 1943.
Freyberg: OK, we've landed in Battambang. From here we'll dislodge Bangkok defenders...
Freyberg: ...then capture the undefended city from the sea...
Savage: ...MUTTON TRANSPORT ATTAAACK!!
*CLICK*
Freyberg: What the! :blink:
Savage: Muha! The six-day invasion of Siam! It's a new record!
Freyberg: This is just wrong...
--------------------------
Savage: Grrr! I thought all Siam troops would vanish now! :angry:
Freyberg: Nope, actually they have suddenly become Japanese troops, with better doctrine and supply! They are now twice as strong!
Savage: Hmpf, that's cheating! How dare they, after I beat them fair and square
Freyberg: ...
Immediately, 10 divisions are mounting a counterattack into undefended
Carr: LOL
But suddenly, a joint British-Canadian-Southafrican-Nepalese-Bhutanese-French taskforce comes to the rescue!
Carr: LOL froggies
Freyberg: Brilliant! British troops are defending the border, so my troops are free again!
--------------------
After another 2 months of grinding jungle warfare, Indochina is firmly in Kiwi hands.
Freyberg: I'll leave it to the Brits to take those two empty provinces... it's too boring to do by myself! :happy:
Savage: Well done Freyberg! And you are right indeed, don't waste your troops in the jungle! I have much more exciting things for you, because this, too, was only another part in my grand design... haha!
Freyberg: Why do I have a funny feeling...
Savage: Ready yourself Freyberg! Because the greatest - and bloodiest - battle the Kiwi Empire has known to date is about to begin! MUHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I still cant get over the fact you beat the U.S.A :blink: This is an awesome AAR I wish you luck.
July 12, 1943
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Savage: Muhahaha! Haha! Hehe
Freyberg: What's this? Why are you laughing?
Savage: Haha! I think it's time to annex some countries!
Freyberg: Ok, what do you have in mind?
Savage: Guangxi of course! They're not allied to anybody!
*CLICK*
Savage: Hehe, now they're allied with Germany.
Savage&Freyberg: WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?
Carr: LOL
Freyberg: What the hell, we're not Soviets! Now China declared war on us as well!
Savage: AHRG!! Damn you Nationalist China! This is not good! But on the bright side, they're now at war with Soviets too.
Freyberg: But what in god's name are we going to do about China? They have like 150 divisions, and now we have a land connection!
Savage: Easy Freyberg, we'll just do some crazy troop maneuver, beat them from behind, and then make an "irresistable proposal"
Freyberg: But how???
Savage: Don't ask me, that's your job! Now get your men and go! Bring glory to the Kiwi Reich!
Freyberg: *sigh* :sad:
------------------------------
July 27, 1943
The troops are assembled and ready to strike.
After two weeks of combined ground&air attacks, Guangxi defenders are easily overwhelmed.
Freyberg: Hm, France has sent us expeditionary forces. Too bad they are nowhere near the front line...
Savage: Canadians as well. Probably French Canadians though, haha!
Carr: LOL Froggies
Savage: Very nice Freyberg! Now have the troops fan out and I can hit the annex button
Savage&Freyberg: WHAT THE -
Freyberg: Sir, they just annexed Guangxi from under our arses, sir!
Savage: AAAAAAAARGH! How can they annex it without holding any province? I should be the one to press the button! DAMN YOU NATIONALIST CHINA!
Freyberg: ...
Savage: FREYYYBERG!!!
Freyberg: Sir...
Savage: Freyberg! Attack them at once, head-on! How dare they insult me! They think they can play games with me, but I'll show them! :angry:
Freyberg: But sir, we're horribly outnumbered!
Savage: I don't care! Yes... muhaha... take China for me, Freyberg! It can be nothing less than total domination... and then we'll see who has the last laugh... muhahaha... AHAHAHAHA!
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August 20, 1943
Freyberg is steadily advancing.
Very soon, however, the advance is stalled by Chinese troops.
Freyberg: Crap, we're almost surrounded and now they're threatening to cut off the supply. It seems it's time for another of my genius battle plans!
Savage: Phew, thank god! I almost thought we were gonna lose this one! But if you have a genius plan, like you did in USA, then I'm happy
Freyberg: Yes... ATTAAAAAAACK!
And thus, the battle for Fuling begins!
-----------------------------
Savage: Muhahaha! Haha! Hehe
Freyberg: What's this? Why are you laughing?
Savage: Haha! I think it's time to annex some countries!
Freyberg: Ok, what do you have in mind?
Savage: Guangxi of course! They're not allied to anybody!
*CLICK*
Savage: Hehe, now they're allied with Germany.
Savage&Freyberg: WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?
Carr: LOL
Freyberg: What the hell, we're not Soviets! Now China declared war on us as well!
Savage: AHRG!! Damn you Nationalist China! This is not good! But on the bright side, they're now at war with Soviets too.
Freyberg: But what in god's name are we going to do about China? They have like 150 divisions, and now we have a land connection!
Savage: Easy Freyberg, we'll just do some crazy troop maneuver, beat them from behind, and then make an "irresistable proposal"
Freyberg: But how???
Savage: Don't ask me, that's your job! Now get your men and go! Bring glory to the Kiwi Reich!
Freyberg: *sigh* :sad:
------------------------------
July 27, 1943
The troops are assembled and ready to strike.
After two weeks of combined ground&air attacks, Guangxi defenders are easily overwhelmed.
Freyberg: Hm, France has sent us expeditionary forces. Too bad they are nowhere near the front line...
Savage: Canadians as well. Probably French Canadians though, haha!
Carr: LOL Froggies
Savage: Very nice Freyberg! Now have the troops fan out and I can hit the annex button
Savage&Freyberg: WHAT THE -
Freyberg: Sir, they just annexed Guangxi from under our arses, sir!
Savage: AAAAAAAARGH! How can they annex it without holding any province? I should be the one to press the button! DAMN YOU NATIONALIST CHINA!
Freyberg: ...
Savage: FREYYYBERG!!!
Freyberg: Sir...
Savage: Freyberg! Attack them at once, head-on! How dare they insult me! They think they can play games with me, but I'll show them! :angry:
Freyberg: But sir, we're horribly outnumbered!
Savage: I don't care! Yes... muhaha... take China for me, Freyberg! It can be nothing less than total domination... and then we'll see who has the last laugh... muhahaha... AHAHAHAHA!
--------------------
August 20, 1943
Freyberg is steadily advancing.
Very soon, however, the advance is stalled by Chinese troops.
Freyberg: Crap, we're almost surrounded and now they're threatening to cut off the supply. It seems it's time for another of my genius battle plans!
Savage: Phew, thank god! I almost thought we were gonna lose this one! But if you have a genius plan, like you did in USA, then I'm happy
Freyberg: Yes... ATTAAAAAAACK!
And thus, the battle for Fuling begins!
THE BATTLE OF FULING
September 15, 1943: Just after midnight, New Zealand fires the first shots.
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September 15, 1943: After only 11 hours of fighting, Chinese have to give up their positions. NZ has better soldiers and excellent air cover!
Freyberg: Victory! But now we march for 14 days, while their reinforcements are streaming in day and night!
------
September 19, 1943: Chinese reinforcements try to delay the NZ troops.
Freyberg: Hrm! They're trying to wear us down through attrition! I hope we can make it!
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September 23, 1943: Another Chinese corps tries to hold Fuling, all in vain.
Freyberg: Troop morale is still good... but we need full strength because, once we arrive, they will attack from all sides!
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September 26, 1943: Kiwi soldiers advance inch for inch, as they beat back another wave of reinforcements.
Freyberg: I'm starting to worry... just a little more!
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September 27, 1943: Suddenly, 6 divisions arrive in Fuling and take up the fight - it's a mountain nighttime fight!
Freyberg: Oh crap! Come on guys!!! If we lose this, they'll kick us out of China!
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September 28, 1943: Chinese defenders are not yet dug in, and Kiwi soldiers keep pressing on. Tired, but victorious so far.
Freyberg: Just one more day.... we can do it!
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September 29, 1943: Kiwis finally take Fuling, but the instant they arrive - ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!
Freyberg: AAAHRG!!!
........
........
Is that it?
It's 35+ angry Chinese and well-rested Japanese, in a 4-way pincer move. All this while Freyberg's 14 divisions are well below 30% organisation.
If Freyberg is to lose this battle, his soldiers face encirclement and annihilation. Without those 14 troops, NZ will be set back several years.
There's no way to win such a battle. Or is there...?
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Savage: Psst, no need to create suspense, by now you should know that Kiwis are gonna win anyway
September 15, 1943: Just after midnight, New Zealand fires the first shots.
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September 15, 1943: After only 11 hours of fighting, Chinese have to give up their positions. NZ has better soldiers and excellent air cover!
Freyberg: Victory! But now we march for 14 days, while their reinforcements are streaming in day and night!
------
September 19, 1943: Chinese reinforcements try to delay the NZ troops.
Freyberg: Hrm! They're trying to wear us down through attrition! I hope we can make it!
------
September 23, 1943: Another Chinese corps tries to hold Fuling, all in vain.
Freyberg: Troop morale is still good... but we need full strength because, once we arrive, they will attack from all sides!
------
September 26, 1943: Kiwi soldiers advance inch for inch, as they beat back another wave of reinforcements.
Freyberg: I'm starting to worry... just a little more!
------
September 27, 1943: Suddenly, 6 divisions arrive in Fuling and take up the fight - it's a mountain nighttime fight!
Freyberg: Oh crap! Come on guys!!! If we lose this, they'll kick us out of China!
------
September 28, 1943: Chinese defenders are not yet dug in, and Kiwi soldiers keep pressing on. Tired, but victorious so far.
Freyberg: Just one more day.... we can do it!
------
September 29, 1943: Kiwis finally take Fuling, but the instant they arrive - ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!
Freyberg: AAAHRG!!!
........
........
Is that it?
It's 35+ angry Chinese and well-rested Japanese, in a 4-way pincer move. All this while Freyberg's 14 divisions are well below 30% organisation.
If Freyberg is to lose this battle, his soldiers face encirclement and annihilation. Without those 14 troops, NZ will be set back several years.
There's no way to win such a battle. Or is there...?
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Savage: Psst, no need to create suspense, by now you should know that Kiwis are gonna win anyway
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Holy mutton! Your Kiwi-warriors..... I have a question about them: Are they all Maori?
At least you have a river on two sides, mountains, and air support. Will be interesting to see if it takes anything more than that to hold the line.
Hum! Well some of them are Maori I guess! Although most of my army consists of bought Aussies and Canadians, as you can see from the infantry names. My strategy is such: to reinforce a bought division costs 8MP. Afterwards, when you disband it, you receive 10MP. If this division has an artillery brigade, you even receive 12MP. So in this way, you can "breed" new manpower by using massive amounts of resources and industrial power. Actually, I have about 5 divisions sitting in Wellington which are constantly "breeding". These are happy men
But don't worry, all those Ozzies and Froggies have learned to do Haka, and since they don't beat NZ in Rugby anyway we'll gladly let them in on the fun