Hi, Jim Bob. I got some guys here from the Bucharest Mirage Newspaper who want to ask you if they can quote your statement for an article they are working on right now.Jim Bob said:
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Chapter I.6: A comprehensive report on our army’s current condition + First “Bucharest Mirage” newspaper issue ever to be published on a forum
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Everyone took their seats including the Prince who settled on his throne.
Andrei: So, who wants to go first?
Silence
Andrei: C’mon guys, I’m too scared to start counting again. Who knows what might happen now?
Everyone agrees, one mad mime a day was enough.
Eventually Bacovia rises and goes in front of the class.
Bacovia: As you surely expected my royal highness, I did my homework for today.
Some in the back make unsympathetic remarks: Prince’s pet!
Andrei: Spike, where is that newspaper?
Spike: I’m coming, I’m coming, the writer is almost finished.
Andrei: What the hell is he doing? Is he writing it right now?
Spike: Well, actually yes, we don’t own a printing house, so he has to write every single newspaper copy.
Andrei puts his head in his hands in desperation, while Bacovia takes his place at the wooden mike.
Bacovia: I have here (shows a huge folder full with documents) a comprehensive report on our army’s current condition.
Andrei: Yes I see, are you sure you have everything (ironic remark)?
Bacovia: Of course my lord.
Andrei: Ok, go on then.
Bacovia: okay, so… The Walachian armed forces contain … (starts reading from the report)
Andrei: (Not paying attention to Bacovia as he receives the newspaper he requested from Spike) Good boy, Spike, now go to your place. (Shows with his finger Spike’s chair).
Bacovia: (he doesn’t notice that nobody is listening to him, maybe just Spike, so he continues speaking)… I have personally ordered our army… (Carries on talking)
Andrei: (very curious on what the walachian media has to state, he stops paying even the slightest amount of attention to Bacovia; he opens the newspaper and starts reading)
Andrei: How can they afford to make so much grammatical mistakes? I will never understand.
Writer: Well, we are from Romania, and English is not our main language.
Andrei: Excuses, Excuses…
Andrei: (While Bacovia was talking, the prince who right now was still reading the newspaper not paying attention to what he was saying, gave him some random generic responses) Yes… I see… sure… smack them in the head… of course… go on
After Andrei finishes reading the newspaper he turns to Bacovia.
Bacovia: (took a glass of water and persisted on reading the report)… to run like hell soon as they will see the enemy. (Finishes reading and looks at the prince).
Andrei: Sorry Bacovia, I wasn’t paying attention, can you please read the report again?
Bacovia: (already tired) Again???
Everybody else: (even more tired) Not Again!?!?
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Andrei seems to be settling right in to the princely role, being almost as obnoxious as the real thing!
Stnylan, have pity and spare the puny mortals who don't know every word in the English Dictionarystnylan said:Andrei seems to be settling right in to the princely role, being almost as obnoxious as the real thing!
.I had to look in the dictionary to find out what “obnoxious” means… and I can’t say I understood too well the meaning of this word. But I agree with you, he does look a bit obnoxious… I guess.
P.S. Thank you for your comment, I’m looking forward for more dazzling comments.
@hjarg: I’ll answer your question using the words of a great Walachian prince: “I don’t know why, but it feels like we live into a perpetual AAR introduction”
@CSK: Thank you, come on in, make yourself at home. Do you want a cigar, some scotch or a cup of tea?
@CSK: Thank you, come on in, make yourself at home. Do you want a cigar, some scotch or a cup of tea?
peer-LAN said:
Aargh!!
How long will i have to wait to hear the magic words...
Our words are backed by nuclear weapons!!
I hope i live to see the day... but until then good luck
The newspaper seemed more entertaining than the military report. Nice little graphic.
Nice little graphic.
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Chapter I.5: HE makes a surprise inspection at the army base camp.
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Eager to see the Walachian army before declaring war to the Ottoman Empire, the Prince made an unannounced inspection of the army base camp.
Officer: (opens Bacovia’s office door, screaming) Sir, Wake Up! He’s HERE!!
Bacovia: (suddenly waking up from a beautiful dream) Aagaraass (weird interjection), Women and Bacovia first in the lifeboats!... huh, what, where…oh sorry, I was dreaming that I was on the Titanic. Didn’t I tell you never to wake me up while I’m sleeping at work?
Officer: Sir, but… HE… IS… HERE!
Bacovia: Oh, NO… HE IS HERE!
Officer: I’m afraid HE… IS… HERE.
Bacovia: I told him that our relation is over!
Officer: Sir, it’s not that Russian general again. It’s the other “HE”!
Bacovia: The other “HE”? That damn priest, again… I didn’t pay him for my daughter’s marriage and he just can’t get over it?
Officer: No, not him… but by the way, the priest told me that he will come this Sunday again and that if you don’t give him his money he will excommunicate you from the Orthodox Church.
Bacovia: THE Bastard...Then it must be that Clerk, no?
Officer: No.
After 5 minutes
Bacovia: That boy I forgot to say hello when I was 4 years old?
Officer: No, NO, NO!
The Prince enters the room.
Officer: It’s the Prince! the Prince!(Hits his head against the wall several times)
Bacovia: (turns his head slowly towards Andrei) …uh… hi Andrei, what… what are you doing here?
Andrei: Well Bacovia, I came to see our brave army before we’ll smash the Ottoman Empire. Where exactly is our army right now? The whole place looks deserted.
Officer: They all ran home when they heard that we’ll declare war to the Ottomans.
Bacovia: (puts his hand over the officer mouth) they ran home... to get their weapons.
Andrei: I didn’t know we didn’t have weapons, where is our defense budget going.
Officer: We have built a huge Them Park.
Bacovia: (hits the officer in the head with a brick) Oups… I guess he is very tired. (the officer fells unconscious) The soldiers will be back anytime now, I’ve heard that we even have a new “fork and spoon” commando squad. (tries to change the subject)
Andrei: A Them Park???
Bacovia: (nervous) Well, it’s not really a Them Park… it’s (looking for a word)…A Top Notch Intense Training Thingee (forced grin)
Andrei: Really?
Bacovia: Yes, the results are very promising (keeps his forced grin)
Andrei: Oh, good. Now I am sure we’ll win the war.
Bacovia: (takes the sweet off his forehead and loosens up) Yes my Lord, of course my Lord.
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You are just misinterpreting…stnylan said:That's a nasty surprise for, well, all concerned
:rofl: