- Jun 14, 2006
Because of the scale of this AAR, I decided to clean it up a bit by adding chapters with links, together with other details you probably won’t even notice.
Chapter I: The perpetual Vichy introduction.
Chapter I.1: A typical day in the life of a Walachian Shepherd.
Chapter I.2: The Wagon Diaries.
Chapter I.3: Welcome the Bucharest.
Chapter I.4: Look into what I got myself this time…
Chapter I.5: Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Chapter I.6: A comprehensive report on our army’s current condition + First “Bucharest Mirage” newspaper issue ever to be published on a forum
Chapter I.5: HE makes a surprise inspection at the army base camp.
Chapter II: Welcome to the wonderful world of Richy.
Chapter II.1: The first screenshot was found
Chapter II.2: An experience from the future
Chapter II.3: The struggle for liberty commence
Chapter II.4: Second “Bucharest Mirage” newspaper issue ever to be published on a forum
Chapter II.5: The mountain started moving
Chapter I.1: A typical day of in the life of a Walachian Shepherd.
In a place far away, full of charm and lure, known only by the most preeminent geographers – yes, you guessed it, Walachia – a young man stays awake at dusk, smoking some pot while watching over his sheeps.
But this common looking shepherd is not that common after all; his name is Andrei (the Romanian name equivalent for Andrew, see, that isn’t that absurd after all, and it’s really easy to remember now) and he is the main protagonist in our AAR.
So without any further ado, let’s take a look at what he’s doing right now… (The video camera draws near the character).
Andrei (bored to death, supporting himself with both hands on his stick): Damn, I’m so sick of this job… it has no benefits, no dental insurance or travel reimbursement; tomorrow I’m going to tell my boss that he can shove it up his ass or any other poor animal he has home. Can’t he imagine how it’s like? Watching the same old sheeps eating grass all day for FIVE YEARS… I didn’t want to be a shepherd anyway… I want to be a LUMBERJACK… (Raises his stick up as if it was an axe, prepares himself to start dancing when suddenly).
peer-LAN (a voice from the sky): aaahh… not so fast Andrei, that song is trademarked by Monty… you’ll have to choose some other job.
Andrei: what?? This is my song… we are in the year 1836 Dude, there was no Monty, actually I bet he stolen my song…
peer-LAN: probably, but you’ll have to choose another job. How about a very treacherous job, like… a programmer, you look like an adventurous type?
Andrei: easy Dude, don’t you see that watching sheeps jumping over a fence is busting my ass?
peer-LAN: well then… let’s think of something similar but less dangerous… (after 10 sec)… how about being the leader of the greatest power in the world.
Andrei: Now we're talking, I can do that all day long.
peer-LAN: Ok, let’s see… you’ll be the ruler of … (pause)… uhhh… Kingdom (Andrei start to raise his eyebrow)... of (Andrei almost can’t stand the excitement, with a big grin on his face)...
Andrei: Of? Of?
Andrei: What??? There is no “Kingdom of Romania”… what are you talking about?
peer-LAN: Well yes…there isn’t one; you’ll have to make it.
Andrei: Oh, c’mon (really frustrated)… so…where’s your help in all of this?
peer-LAN: There isn’t any, I’m here just for moral support, but I keep my fingers crossed for you.
peer-LAN: Well, good luck… I’m out of here.
Andrei: Wait… who the hack are you? Hellooo? Damn, I’m starting to hear voices… spooky
(Our mighty hero goes to his employer ready to give his resignation)
Boss: Yo, slave… what the hack are you doing here, why aren’t you working?
Andrei: Well… sir, firstly I want to tell you that I quit, and secondly, totally not related with the fact that I just quit, that you are a jerk (we are in an AAR after all, there is no point to go beyond the jerk word, even if it would have added to the story line).
Boss: I never understand why you always say that when you quit, I pay you much more then you disserve.
Andrei: You mean you pay us minimum wage; that’s the same as saying that you would pay us less, if it was LEGAL.
Boss: well… no... uhhh *murmurs* bloody politicians*murmurs*
Now that our friend is free from his lousy job, he went… home to sleep.
Why? Why do I always pick such lazybones? Anyway...
On his way home, he meets his best friend Ion (Ion is like John… so… easy, right? I’ll use some other names then saints-name in the future, but these are too damn common to avoid).
Andrei: Nothing… having a (ad space - price: 80 gold coins)…
Ion: Heard you quit your job and you are now begging for money.
Andrei: well that’s for sure… at least the second part of it.
Ion: Yes, I also quit my job as a coal miner also. It was too dirty for me; I want to do some money laundering now, to clean my reputation. But I still have some explosives left.
Andrei: Please, can I have it… pretty please (begging dog face)
Ion: No way bro, I’m going to give it back to my supervisor at work.
Andrei: Dude, you don’t know how to have fun.
On their way to Ion’s workplace they spot something strange. A rock with a rusty mace in it and near a note:
“Who will ever take out the rusty mace 2000 out of the rock will became the leader of the most powerful nation in the word*.
P.S. Don’t use explosives
No, really… DON’T”
Andrei: What’s that * for?
Ion: Look, it’s something written down here (Ion takes a magnifying glass): “Side effects may include: sudden lost of sanity, procrastination, shedding, stupidity, imprudence and berserk”
Andrei: Oh… sounds safe enough, let me try.
(The mace comes out of the rock easily)
Ion: Hey! I wanted to go first.
Andrei: You’ll take the next object well find stuck in a rock, ok?
Ion: (a bit sad) ok; what now?
Andrei: Now we wait…
(After 4 hours)
Ion: Ok, I’m out of here.