Okay, this is my first AAR, and if you haven't guessed by now, I'm gonna do Communist China. I've got DD 1.2... so here goes.
Welcome to Red Star Over China, the real reason why HOI2 is banned in China!
As for the title, I apologize to anyone I may have stolen it from, accidentally or intentionally, including but not limited to Edgar Snow.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: The fourth wall
Chapter 2: Starting out
Chapter 3: Some sort of incident at Xi'an
Chapter 4: Why they call him Wang/Dick (or Neville Chamberlain is a pussy, part I)
Chapter 5: The Second Amendment
Chapter 6: Enter Little Bottle
Chapter 7: A foolish wager?
Chapter 8: AARnAARthAAR ChAARpter
Chapter 9: Tuva or Bust!
Chapter 10: Super Ma Bros!
Chapter 11: Snakes on a Plane!
Chapter 12: A Delorean made by Newfies
Chapter 13: Of Poland and Peru
Chapter 14: Jackie and Jesus Toast
Chapter 15: BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Chapter 16: Two Erec... Elections (or Neville Chamberlain is a pussy, part 2)
Chapter 17: The Three (or four) Stooges
Chapter 18: I can't believe it's not chicken!
Chapter 19: Brave Zhu De
Chapter 20: And now, for something completely different
Chapter 21: The Maohawk
Chapter 22: The Summer Government
Chapter 23: Chiang Kai-Shek: frickin' idiot
Chapter 24: Worst Alfonso ever.
Chapter 25: Goring the Hutt (or Neville Chamberlain is a pussy, part 3)
Chapter 26: Much (more) ado about Spain
Chapter 27: The meaning of life
Chapter 28: It's gotta be steroids
Chapter 29: You just assumed I couldn't
Chapter 30: The most violent update ever
Chapter 31: Get on with it!
School sucks: A slightly humorous intermission and public service announcement
Chapter 32: A little slow
With Guest Appearances by:
Samuel L. Jackson
Chuck Norris
Jackie Chan
Chris Tucker
Owen Wilson
Verne Troyer
Billy Mays
Joe Pesci
Frank Vincent
and a special guest appearance on toast by:
Jesus
and a special guest appearance on Jesus by:
Roy Orbison
A couple tents somewhere in Shaanxi, December 31, 1935, 11:59 pm
Several of Mao's closest followers were celebrating the ringing in of the new year on a chilly Shaanxi night. Mao glanced at his watch and began counting down with the rest of his followerd. "... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
Wang Jiaxiang approaches Mao as he takes a shot of vodka to ring in the new year. "Chairman, why are we celebrating the New Year now? Chinese new year isn't for another couple months."
"It's an excuse to drink, Wang," Mao replied.
"But shouldn't you be focusing on the war?"
"War?" replied Mao, as he took another shot.
"You know, trying to liberate China from the evil capitalist scumbag, Chiang Kai-Shek?"
"Oh, right, that. I'll deal with it in the morning."
Wang let out a sigh. "You could take this war a bit more seriously, you know. I mean, we didn't march 6000 miles all the way to the middle of nowhere for nothing."
"I said I'd deal with it in the morn-" Mao looked up as an unknown man entered the tents. The devilishly handsome man was wearing a green trench coat and was carrying a large box. "Who the hell are you?" asked Mao.
"Whoa, you speak English?" replied the stranger in perfect Chinese.
"No, I'm speaking Chinese and so are you," replied a confused Mao in perfect English. "I don't know any English."
"Oh, right the universal translator," mumbled the stranger. "I got a universal translator, like on Star Trek, so we can understand each other, even though I don't speak Chinese and you don't speak English."
"What is Star Trek?" asked Wang.
"Never mind. Anyways, I've come to make a deal with you. Basically, I can guide these few tents in Shaanxi into becoming a great power and liberating billions of people from capitalism."
"What do you want in return?" asked Mao.
"I just want to be able to write an AAR about it. And free Chinese food for life at my local restaurant. You folks sure know how to cook."
"Deal!" shouted Mao.
"Damn, I should have asked for some tea... no... all the tea. Ah well, too late, and I'm a coffee drinker anyways." replied the stranger. "Now, let me set up my computer and-"
"What is a computer?" asked Mao.
"Don't worry, you can research them later on, under Secret Weapons."
"Ok. One more question?"
"Yes?"
"What is your name?"
"Comrade Brian."
"Dude, writing yourself into your own AAR is lame," said Li Kenong, who had been listening the whole time.
"Shut up, so is breaking the fourth wall."
"Touche."
"Great, now lets get down to business," replied Comrade Brian as he opened his box and searched for an electrical outlet to plug his computer in to...
Welcome to Red Star Over China, the real reason why HOI2 is banned in China!
As for the title, I apologize to anyone I may have stolen it from, accidentally or intentionally, including but not limited to Edgar Snow.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: The fourth wall
Chapter 2: Starting out
Chapter 3: Some sort of incident at Xi'an
Chapter 4: Why they call him Wang/Dick (or Neville Chamberlain is a pussy, part I)
Chapter 5: The Second Amendment
Chapter 6: Enter Little Bottle
Chapter 7: A foolish wager?
Chapter 8: AARnAARthAAR ChAARpter
Chapter 9: Tuva or Bust!
Chapter 10: Super Ma Bros!
Chapter 11: Snakes on a Plane!
Chapter 12: A Delorean made by Newfies
Chapter 13: Of Poland and Peru
Chapter 14: Jackie and Jesus Toast
Chapter 15: BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Chapter 16: Two Erec... Elections (or Neville Chamberlain is a pussy, part 2)
Chapter 17: The Three (or four) Stooges
Chapter 18: I can't believe it's not chicken!
Chapter 19: Brave Zhu De
Chapter 20: And now, for something completely different
Chapter 21: The Maohawk
Chapter 22: The Summer Government
Chapter 23: Chiang Kai-Shek: frickin' idiot
Chapter 24: Worst Alfonso ever.
Chapter 25: Goring the Hutt (or Neville Chamberlain is a pussy, part 3)
Chapter 26: Much (more) ado about Spain
Chapter 27: The meaning of life
Chapter 28: It's gotta be steroids
Chapter 29: You just assumed I couldn't
Chapter 30: The most violent update ever
Chapter 31: Get on with it!
School sucks: A slightly humorous intermission and public service announcement
Chapter 32: A little slow
With Guest Appearances by:
Samuel L. Jackson
Chuck Norris
Jackie Chan
Chris Tucker
Owen Wilson
Verne Troyer
Billy Mays
Joe Pesci
Frank Vincent
and a special guest appearance on toast by:
Jesus
and a special guest appearance on Jesus by:
Roy Orbison
A couple tents somewhere in Shaanxi, December 31, 1935, 11:59 pm
Several of Mao's closest followers were celebrating the ringing in of the new year on a chilly Shaanxi night. Mao glanced at his watch and began counting down with the rest of his followerd. "... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
Wang Jiaxiang approaches Mao as he takes a shot of vodka to ring in the new year. "Chairman, why are we celebrating the New Year now? Chinese new year isn't for another couple months."
"It's an excuse to drink, Wang," Mao replied.
"But shouldn't you be focusing on the war?"
"War?" replied Mao, as he took another shot.
"You know, trying to liberate China from the evil capitalist scumbag, Chiang Kai-Shek?"
"Oh, right, that. I'll deal with it in the morning."
Wang let out a sigh. "You could take this war a bit more seriously, you know. I mean, we didn't march 6000 miles all the way to the middle of nowhere for nothing."
"I said I'd deal with it in the morn-" Mao looked up as an unknown man entered the tents. The devilishly handsome man was wearing a green trench coat and was carrying a large box. "Who the hell are you?" asked Mao.
"Whoa, you speak English?" replied the stranger in perfect Chinese.
"No, I'm speaking Chinese and so are you," replied a confused Mao in perfect English. "I don't know any English."
"Oh, right the universal translator," mumbled the stranger. "I got a universal translator, like on Star Trek, so we can understand each other, even though I don't speak Chinese and you don't speak English."
"What is Star Trek?" asked Wang.
"Never mind. Anyways, I've come to make a deal with you. Basically, I can guide these few tents in Shaanxi into becoming a great power and liberating billions of people from capitalism."
"What do you want in return?" asked Mao.
"I just want to be able to write an AAR about it. And free Chinese food for life at my local restaurant. You folks sure know how to cook."
"Deal!" shouted Mao.
"Damn, I should have asked for some tea... no... all the tea. Ah well, too late, and I'm a coffee drinker anyways." replied the stranger. "Now, let me set up my computer and-"
"What is a computer?" asked Mao.
"Don't worry, you can research them later on, under Secret Weapons."
"Ok. One more question?"
"Yes?"
"What is your name?"
"Comrade Brian."
"Dude, writing yourself into your own AAR is lame," said Li Kenong, who had been listening the whole time.
"Shut up, so is breaking the fourth wall."
"Touche."
"Great, now lets get down to business," replied Comrade Brian as he opened his box and searched for an electrical outlet to plug his computer in to...
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