Chapter 3 - Weddings, wars, worries
Galway, April, 1430
Desmond, King of Connacht was sometimes called The Fox of the West (what his enemies called him is alas unprintable here due to possibility of it being read by children and unmarried ladies). An ambitous driven man he had been watching this past decade in alarm as Munster threw of the vassalage of Ulster and built itself an army and navy of sorts. Suddenly there were was a new sense of flux in Ireland. Anything was possible. So in the 11th year of Art O'Donnells kingship he did something.
He wrote a letter to the High King in Ulster telling him that due to events beyond his control he was no longer able to remain a vassal, but if they were interested in maintaining alliance he (the High King) should have his (the High King's) people call his (the King of Connacht's) people. And they would do lunch.
Above, The Fox of the West with messenger falcon (pigeons are for wimps).
To show how fabulously independent he was Desmond decided to set up a couple of marriages. He sent his beloved daughter Fionnula to marry the High Kings son and sent his rather less beloved niece Caoilin to marry Art I of Munster.
Above, Caolin O'Donnel nee Desmon as portrayed by Andrea Corr in the recent tv-mini series 'Sex in the XVth Century'
Caolin was a startling beautiful girl of 17. She was also vain, scheming and a complete airhead with delusions of godhood and an obsessive interest in shoes and a will of iron. Should keep Art occupied for a bit while Desmond got on with things back home.
Cork, May, 1430
The wedding was a short one by Irish standards lasting a mere 3 days and with only 7 or so fistfights. Amongst the invited were the King & Queen of England (unable to come due to one of the half dozen or so wars in France), both Popes (neither willing to come because they thought the other might), the King of Hungary (mistakenly ended up at entirely different wedding in a certain German duchy that shan't be named) and the Roman Emperor (the Greek one). Oh and Moore, King of Leinster. A small sweaty man who seemed largely composed of beard and eyebrows he strictly speaking hadn't been invited at all, but had just wandered over from the next kingdom for the free drinks a chance to steal some silverwear (alone amongst the Irish Kingdoms Leinster was a still a Vassal and, well those bills need paying) and wait for some goodlooking girl to get drunk enough...
It was the happiest day of Art's life. He was marrying the most beautifulest, most wonderfullest girl in the world. Ok maybe her first words on seeing him had been "Wait, YOU'RE the King of Munster? Ew! You're like twice my age!" but he was sure she would warm to him. He ventured a smile down the table were she was filing her nails. "Wonderful! Eh Eoin?" His drunken best man slurred drunkenly beside him, then keeled over on to the table and went to sleep. Typical lightweight!
At the end of the wedding the beautiful couple retired to the Royal bedchambers and had well [censored] that wasn't even spoiled at the end when a very suprised sounding Caolin said (very loudly) "Wow, actually that was that bad after all - why where you like all nervous and stuff early on?"
Cork, March, 1432
The plans for the 19th birthday of the Queen of Munster took an unexpected turn in the first week of March. Caolin was feeling pretty happy with herself these days - she had a large spacious wardrobe, the ability to boss just about anyone around and had (after a quick look through the O'Donnell family portraits) no doubt whatsover in her mind (though to be fair Caolin's mind tended to be similar to the rest of her - beautiful, fashionable and entirely uncluttered) that she was the best looing girl in the kingdom. Why the other day some maid she'd been discipling had even complimented her intellect - Caolin had overheard her saying that she hoped the royal children inherited 'Their mothers brains and their fathers looks' - though why someone wanted to give them Art's rather average looks she couldn't say. Jealousy probably. She patted the small bump (she was three months pregnant).
Somewhat to her suprise she had even fallen a little for Art. Sure he was like totally ancient at the age of 35 but he was sweet and nice and, well it was weird but she just liked him even though she should have found him totally gross. Just weird like that.
There was a knock at the door. "Who's there?"
"Kiddnappers your Majesty." There was some loud but indistinct whispering followed by "er, I mean 'Room Service' your Majesty. Not kiddnappers."
Caolin relaxed and got up to open the door. For a second there she had thought they were kiddnappers!
Cork, slightly later in March, 1432
"THEY WHAT?"
"Um took her to Leinster your majesty. Seem's King Moore has been in love with you're wife for years but she never bothered returning his cards. So um, he kiddnapped her. Look he left this note explaining things..."
Art was too shocked to read it. Tired from the long slog back for Paris (uncharacteristically France and England were currently at peace) were he had purchased a pair of diamand studded highheels that cost more than the entire budget of Munster had during his first ten years on the throne as a birthday present for Caolin he had grumbled to his aide the entire voyage home (he truly loved his wife but to say she high maintence was like saying that Hadrians Wall was a fence...). Now though he sprang into action. His girl was in trouble!
"Raise the army, we're off to war!"
Wexford, May, 1432
It was like the Trojan war. If that is the Trojan war had lasted a month and half and involved no actual fighting. Leinster had neither an army nor a fort and their technical overlords in Ulster couldn't be bothered to come to their rescue so it pretty much ended up with a slightly dissapointed Munster army occupying Wexford without a fight (the Younger O'Brien promised the troops they could sack one of the abandoned castles they passed on the way back home which cheered the up slightly). Moore fled his kingdom in a leaky corcale which promptly sank in Wexford harbour. The soaking, bedraggled ex-King was sentenced to exile (rather than death) by Art when his wife told him what had happened during her captivity.
"He totally never touched me babe. I was just put up in the best room in the house and he'd come at nights and read these, like totally grody love poems. That didn't even rhyme!"
"Well ok then Cao. I'm just so glad to have you back..." he gazed at her lost for words.
And she looked back, her beautiful brown eyes filled with love "Me too", she patted her noticeably rounder belly, "us too I mean".
There followed a very long kiss.
As it turned out for her (slightly delayed) 19th birthday Caolin O'Donnell recieved two birthday presents: a pair of totally bitchin diamond heels and the kingdom of Leinster.
Above, the joint kingdom of Munster-Leinster.
To be continued...
Ok hope what happened is clear enough: Connacht cannceled their vassalisation with Eire (Ulster) and I took the oppurtunity to RM them successfully (leaving our relations at a mere -17
). Then there was a Diplomatic Insult with Leinster which finally gave me a CB to go to war which I did. Then I annexed Leinster, which has made me less popular but I didn't have the money or the patience for a 20 years+ vassal relationship with Leinster. Besides it makes a better story I hope.
Thanks for the continuing reviews and hope you guys like this latest chapter.
Do chuid
Galway, April, 1430
Desmond, King of Connacht was sometimes called The Fox of the West (what his enemies called him is alas unprintable here due to possibility of it being read by children and unmarried ladies). An ambitous driven man he had been watching this past decade in alarm as Munster threw of the vassalage of Ulster and built itself an army and navy of sorts. Suddenly there were was a new sense of flux in Ireland. Anything was possible. So in the 11th year of Art O'Donnells kingship he did something.
He wrote a letter to the High King in Ulster telling him that due to events beyond his control he was no longer able to remain a vassal, but if they were interested in maintaining alliance he (the High King) should have his (the High King's) people call his (the King of Connacht's) people. And they would do lunch.
Above, The Fox of the West with messenger falcon (pigeons are for wimps).
To show how fabulously independent he was Desmond decided to set up a couple of marriages. He sent his beloved daughter Fionnula to marry the High Kings son and sent his rather less beloved niece Caoilin to marry Art I of Munster.
Above, Caolin O'Donnel nee Desmon as portrayed by Andrea Corr in the recent tv-mini series 'Sex in the XVth Century'
Caolin was a startling beautiful girl of 17. She was also vain, scheming and a complete airhead with delusions of godhood and an obsessive interest in shoes and a will of iron. Should keep Art occupied for a bit while Desmond got on with things back home.
Cork, May, 1430
The wedding was a short one by Irish standards lasting a mere 3 days and with only 7 or so fistfights. Amongst the invited were the King & Queen of England (unable to come due to one of the half dozen or so wars in France), both Popes (neither willing to come because they thought the other might), the King of Hungary (mistakenly ended up at entirely different wedding in a certain German duchy that shan't be named) and the Roman Emperor (the Greek one). Oh and Moore, King of Leinster. A small sweaty man who seemed largely composed of beard and eyebrows he strictly speaking hadn't been invited at all, but had just wandered over from the next kingdom for the free drinks a chance to steal some silverwear (alone amongst the Irish Kingdoms Leinster was a still a Vassal and, well those bills need paying) and wait for some goodlooking girl to get drunk enough...
It was the happiest day of Art's life. He was marrying the most beautifulest, most wonderfullest girl in the world. Ok maybe her first words on seeing him had been "Wait, YOU'RE the King of Munster? Ew! You're like twice my age!" but he was sure she would warm to him. He ventured a smile down the table were she was filing her nails. "Wonderful! Eh Eoin?" His drunken best man slurred drunkenly beside him, then keeled over on to the table and went to sleep. Typical lightweight!
At the end of the wedding the beautiful couple retired to the Royal bedchambers and had well [censored] that wasn't even spoiled at the end when a very suprised sounding Caolin said (very loudly) "Wow, actually that was that bad after all - why where you like all nervous and stuff early on?"
Cork, March, 1432
The plans for the 19th birthday of the Queen of Munster took an unexpected turn in the first week of March. Caolin was feeling pretty happy with herself these days - she had a large spacious wardrobe, the ability to boss just about anyone around and had (after a quick look through the O'Donnell family portraits) no doubt whatsover in her mind (though to be fair Caolin's mind tended to be similar to the rest of her - beautiful, fashionable and entirely uncluttered) that she was the best looing girl in the kingdom. Why the other day some maid she'd been discipling had even complimented her intellect - Caolin had overheard her saying that she hoped the royal children inherited 'Their mothers brains and their fathers looks' - though why someone wanted to give them Art's rather average looks she couldn't say. Jealousy probably. She patted the small bump (she was three months pregnant).
Somewhat to her suprise she had even fallen a little for Art. Sure he was like totally ancient at the age of 35 but he was sweet and nice and, well it was weird but she just liked him even though she should have found him totally gross. Just weird like that.
There was a knock at the door. "Who's there?"
"Kiddnappers your Majesty." There was some loud but indistinct whispering followed by "er, I mean 'Room Service' your Majesty. Not kiddnappers."
Caolin relaxed and got up to open the door. For a second there she had thought they were kiddnappers!
Cork, slightly later in March, 1432
"THEY WHAT?"
"Um took her to Leinster your majesty. Seem's King Moore has been in love with you're wife for years but she never bothered returning his cards. So um, he kiddnapped her. Look he left this note explaining things..."
Art was too shocked to read it. Tired from the long slog back for Paris (uncharacteristically France and England were currently at peace) were he had purchased a pair of diamand studded highheels that cost more than the entire budget of Munster had during his first ten years on the throne as a birthday present for Caolin he had grumbled to his aide the entire voyage home (he truly loved his wife but to say she high maintence was like saying that Hadrians Wall was a fence...). Now though he sprang into action. His girl was in trouble!
"Raise the army, we're off to war!"
Wexford, May, 1432
It was like the Trojan war. If that is the Trojan war had lasted a month and half and involved no actual fighting. Leinster had neither an army nor a fort and their technical overlords in Ulster couldn't be bothered to come to their rescue so it pretty much ended up with a slightly dissapointed Munster army occupying Wexford without a fight (the Younger O'Brien promised the troops they could sack one of the abandoned castles they passed on the way back home which cheered the up slightly). Moore fled his kingdom in a leaky corcale which promptly sank in Wexford harbour. The soaking, bedraggled ex-King was sentenced to exile (rather than death) by Art when his wife told him what had happened during her captivity.
"He totally never touched me babe. I was just put up in the best room in the house and he'd come at nights and read these, like totally grody love poems. That didn't even rhyme!"
"Well ok then Cao. I'm just so glad to have you back..." he gazed at her lost for words.
And she looked back, her beautiful brown eyes filled with love "Me too", she patted her noticeably rounder belly, "us too I mean".
There followed a very long kiss.
As it turned out for her (slightly delayed) 19th birthday Caolin O'Donnell recieved two birthday presents: a pair of totally bitchin diamond heels and the kingdom of Leinster.
Above, the joint kingdom of Munster-Leinster.
To be continued...
Ok hope what happened is clear enough: Connacht cannceled their vassalisation with Eire (Ulster) and I took the oppurtunity to RM them successfully (leaving our relations at a mere -17
). Then there was a Diplomatic Insult with Leinster which finally gave me a CB to go to war which I did. Then I annexed Leinster, which has made me less popular but I didn't have the money or the patience for a 20 years+ vassal relationship with Leinster. Besides it makes a better story I hope. Thanks for the continuing reviews and hope you guys like this latest chapter.
Do chuid
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