If nothing else the coming war will be interesting, but can the mighty Jebel Shammar take advantage?
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Asalto: A true rivalry, where only one will prevail! Glad you liked the update.
Karaiskandar: To quote an earlier update: "Morocco goes to war with Spain. Morocco is allied with France!" So France decided to help Morocco and there's the result.
soulking: France is on the rise!
Also, you can be certain that Azuzi will strike soon and strike hard!
history dude: Nothing like soldiers eating absolutely nothing! Great to hear you're still laughing.
Razgriz 2K9: The Balkans really are a big cluster of wars left and right. A third will follow soon too.
atty: Cactus is definitely a possibility, anything works for Azuzi at this point!
El Pip: Oh, I am sure the brave and mighty Jebel Shammarians will have the power to not only rule their rightful lands, but also the world!
Fireaxe888: I'll keep that in mind every time I write that name again.
--------------------
Chapter Four
The Dangers of the drunken Italians.
Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid was sitting around, fiddling with some tools and metal.
"What are you doing Azuzi?" Asked his Black Shadow.
"I am inventing!" boasted the Emir proudly.
"Inventing what exactly?"
(Inventing new ways for soldiers to die heroically.)
"Guns, weapons, modern cooking gear! Everything our soldiers need!"
"Looking quite impressive Azuzi."
"So," asked the Emir, "any interesting news for me?"
"Well, I thought you might be interested in the new situation in the Balkans" said his Black Shadow and pulled out a map.
(I am unable to make a joke about this pretty standard map, so I hope you got some good jokes yourself.)
"I am unable to make a comment on this pretty standard map, so I hope you got a good comment yourself."
"Please don't make me break the fourth wall Azuzi."
The Emir looked at his shadow, then sighed.
"Perhaps you'd like to see the new guns I've been making instead?"
("That's not how a gun looks Azuzi.")
"Eh... That's not how a g-"
"Hush Shadow! I don't need your opinion. The world will acknowledge my genius!"
"Perhaps you could get the Italians to loan you a gun? You know, to compare?"
"Pfft, fine! But you'll see how superior my design is!" shouted the Emir as he rode off.
A minute later, he found himself in an Italian camp, but the camp was creepily empty. The Emir looked around, then decided to look around the tents for a rifle.
As he entered a tent, something held on to his leg. As he looked down, he saw it was a hand. Attached to an arm. Attached to an... Italian!
The Emir let out a scream, then hit him a few times on the head before looking frantically around the tent for a rifle. Luckily enough, there happened to be one lying around, and he went outside, carefully stepping around the Italian on the ground. What he saw outside was something he would never forget.
What seemed like lifeless Italians, were slowly scrambling towards him, grunting and moaning, their eyes seemingly lifeless. They were drunk.
The Emir started screaming again. "Get away from me!"
His camel had already run off, he was all alone now.
He tried remembering what he was always taught about drunk Italians, something about going for the head. He held the rifle high, then started bashing it against the nearest Italian. Much to his surprise, the Italian simply fell over, seemingly asleep now.
The Emir started smiling, he could easily do this for a couple of minutes, giving him time to get out of the camp and back to safety amongst his sand-eating countrymen.
He started running towards the border, smashing Italians left and right. As he got closer, he saw another horrible sight. Hundreds of Italians stood in his way, walking around aimlessly.
He held his hand to his forehead and let out a loud sigh. Sadly for the Emir, the Italian horde heard this and were now walking slowly straight towards him. This caused the Emir to panic, he turned around to get back to the camp, but there awaited an even larger horde of drunk Italians. Slowly, they surrounded him. As the Emir drowned in Italians, you could hear him scream: "Nooooo-"
Everything went black...
The Emir awoke, he was lying in a seamlessly empty area. He slowly opened his eyes, what had happened to him?
As he looked around, he found himself back in Jebel Shammarian lands, his clothes smelling heavily of alcohol and himself feeling somewhat sick. To his joy however, he was holding the rifle in his hands. Success!
He swore to himself to never return to that damned place and returned home.
"What's happened to you? You look horrible Azuzi!" questioned his shadow, but the Emir was too tired to answer. Now it was time to compare his weapon with this Italian one.
He was shocked to find his own model inferior, but also pleased to have a rifle to work with, this would surely speed up the process.
(What an Emir wouldn't do for his country.)
"I need a nap." said the Emir. "You know what this means Black Shadow?"
"This is it?"
"Yep."
Karaiskandar: To quote an earlier update: "Morocco goes to war with Spain. Morocco is allied with France!" So France decided to help Morocco and there's the result.
soulking: France is on the rise!
Also, you can be certain that Azuzi will strike soon and strike hard!history dude: Nothing like soldiers eating absolutely nothing! Great to hear you're still laughing.
Razgriz 2K9: The Balkans really are a big cluster of wars left and right. A third will follow soon too.
atty: Cactus is definitely a possibility, anything works for Azuzi at this point!
El Pip: Oh, I am sure the brave and mighty Jebel Shammarians will have the power to not only rule their rightful lands, but also the world!
Fireaxe888:
I'll keep that in mind every time I write that name again.--------------------
Chapter Four
The Dangers of the drunken Italians.
Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid was sitting around, fiddling with some tools and metal.
"What are you doing Azuzi?" Asked his Black Shadow.
"I am inventing!" boasted the Emir proudly.
"Inventing what exactly?"
(Inventing new ways for soldiers to die heroically.)
"Guns, weapons, modern cooking gear! Everything our soldiers need!"
"Looking quite impressive Azuzi."
"So," asked the Emir, "any interesting news for me?"
"Well, I thought you might be interested in the new situation in the Balkans" said his Black Shadow and pulled out a map.
(I am unable to make a joke about this pretty standard map, so I hope you got some good jokes yourself.)
"I am unable to make a comment on this pretty standard map, so I hope you got a good comment yourself."
"Please don't make me break the fourth wall Azuzi."
The Emir looked at his shadow, then sighed.
"Perhaps you'd like to see the new guns I've been making instead?"
("That's not how a gun looks Azuzi.")
"Eh... That's not how a g-"
"Hush Shadow! I don't need your opinion. The world will acknowledge my genius!"
"Perhaps you could get the Italians to loan you a gun? You know, to compare?"
"Pfft, fine! But you'll see how superior my design is!" shouted the Emir as he rode off.
A minute later, he found himself in an Italian camp, but the camp was creepily empty. The Emir looked around, then decided to look around the tents for a rifle.
As he entered a tent, something held on to his leg. As he looked down, he saw it was a hand. Attached to an arm. Attached to an... Italian!
The Emir let out a scream, then hit him a few times on the head before looking frantically around the tent for a rifle. Luckily enough, there happened to be one lying around, and he went outside, carefully stepping around the Italian on the ground. What he saw outside was something he would never forget.
What seemed like lifeless Italians, were slowly scrambling towards him, grunting and moaning, their eyes seemingly lifeless. They were drunk.
The Emir started screaming again. "Get away from me!"
His camel had already run off, he was all alone now.
He tried remembering what he was always taught about drunk Italians, something about going for the head. He held the rifle high, then started bashing it against the nearest Italian. Much to his surprise, the Italian simply fell over, seemingly asleep now.
The Emir started smiling, he could easily do this for a couple of minutes, giving him time to get out of the camp and back to safety amongst his sand-eating countrymen.
He started running towards the border, smashing Italians left and right. As he got closer, he saw another horrible sight. Hundreds of Italians stood in his way, walking around aimlessly.
He held his hand to his forehead and let out a loud sigh. Sadly for the Emir, the Italian horde heard this and were now walking slowly straight towards him. This caused the Emir to panic, he turned around to get back to the camp, but there awaited an even larger horde of drunk Italians. Slowly, they surrounded him. As the Emir drowned in Italians, you could hear him scream: "Nooooo-"
Everything went black...
The Emir awoke, he was lying in a seamlessly empty area. He slowly opened his eyes, what had happened to him?
As he looked around, he found himself back in Jebel Shammarian lands, his clothes smelling heavily of alcohol and himself feeling somewhat sick. To his joy however, he was holding the rifle in his hands. Success!
He swore to himself to never return to that damned place and returned home.
"What's happened to you? You look horrible Azuzi!" questioned his shadow, but the Emir was too tired to answer. Now it was time to compare his weapon with this Italian one.
He was shocked to find his own model inferior, but also pleased to have a rifle to work with, this would surely speed up the process.
(What an Emir wouldn't do for his country.)
"I need a nap." said the Emir. "You know what this means Black Shadow?"
"This is it?"
"Yep."
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The Emir is a dedicated man, risking drunk Italians for his nation. If only he had some subjects they'd probably be grateful!
I just remembered I had forgotten to answer all your comments, an edit is coming right up. o
o
Awsome AAR, I would never plau as such a small country as a noob to HOI2. Keep it up, and I think your long term objective should be WC
You are playing Jebel Shammar, you can't afford a fourth wall.
It seems that you don't know the behavior of drunk Italians: as they are soldiers, they would start to sing some really old songs or to pummel themselfs.
It seems that you don't know the behavior of drunk Italians: as they are soldiers, they would start to sing some really old songs or to pummel themselfs.
Why didn't the Black Shadow help Azuzi when Emir had to face hordes of drunk Italians?
El Pip: The Emir will do anything for his nation. Especially because he's the only one willing to do any work. Except for his shadow, but shadows are horrible when it comes to stealing stuff.
Grauuu: How could you forget to do something so important? You're a tit, trust me, I can tell. Please don't read my AAR.
history dude: The Emir finds no joy in beer. At least not until he defeats all his rivals!
Beleg32: Glad you liked it, and yes, taking over the world is the objective for Jebel Shammar, and it might just happen!
atty: Thanks for teaching me the basics of drunked Italian soldiers. Should the Emir encounter any more of these, I'll keep your advice in mind.
Asalto: The Black Shadow was busy scoring some shadow chicks.
Maj. von Mauser: Happy to hear you liked it and it won't die, no worries.(yet)
FlyingDutchie: The Emir is a true hero and a true god amongst men. Who else could take on a horde of drunk Italians and survive?
-----------------------
Chapter Five
The Final Preperations.
Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid was sleeping on his camel. Completely unaware of the situation that would repeat itself year after year.
"Happy new year Azuzi!" screamed his Black Shadow, as he fell into the sand once more.
"What, who's there!? watch out, I got a rifle!" yelled the Emir as he swung the Italian rifle left and right.
"It's just me Azuzi. Happy new year, it's 1914!"
"1914? I have a good feeling about this year. Let's celebrate by distributing these guns out to the soldiers!"
"Of course Azuzi!"
(The hard work finally paid off.)
"Start mass production immediately Shadow!"
"If by mass production, you mean getting a couple of house-wives in a basement to work three hours a day on it, then sure!"
The Emir looked at his shadow with a sad look on his face, then shook it off.
"Tell me some other news..."
"Well, the Archduke of Austria-Hungary, Franz Ferdinand, has been assassinated in Bosnia."
(This wouldn't be a problem in Jebel Shammar.)
"Pfft, nothing will happen because of this, it's but a simple murder-"
(Lesson: Don't kill Archdukes.)
The Emir stood there flabbergasted.
"... Black Shadow..."
"Yes?"
"Did the whole world just erupt in war?"
"Yes."
"Wow."
The two enjoyed a moment of silence and disbelief, then the Emir asked, "perhaps we can take advantage of this?"
The shadow smiled. (Or at least I think so, it's kind of hard to see the facial emotions of a shadow)
"Now that you say it, we are in the process of distributing your advanced version of guns to the soldiers, Jebel Shammar is ready for war Azuzi."
(Jebel Shammar. Now only 14 years behind.)
The Emir gasped, what was this strange feeling... Happiness? Joy? Excitement? The feeling of success? All unknown feelings to him, at least until today.
"Now then, there is only one thing left for us before we are fully ready Azuzi."
"What is that Black Shadow?"
"We need allies, and for that I have invited an Ottoman."
"Aha! An Ottoman official!"
"Actually it's just a peasant from the other side of the border, the Ottomans don't find us influential enough to send anyone else."
The Emir's face quickly changed into a mix of anger and sadness, but he finally sighed in acceptance of the situation.
"I guess we have no choice Shadow... Bring him over."
An old peasant in rags came closer.
"Ah! Welcome to my country!" greeted the Emir.
"What? Where? Who's talking!?" shouted the old man.
"Dear God he's blind..." The Emir planted his palm firmly to his face, whispering to himself. "Just get this over with, just get this over with..."
"Where are you, you young whippersnapper!? Come closer and I'll show you!" continued the old man, as he swung a stick around in front of him.
The Emir walked closer, but came within range of the old man's stick and were now being beaten senseless.
"Stop it, ow, stop that please, it's me, the Emir!" screamed Azuzi in terror.
"Oh, I see, I was supposed to talk with you." said the old man and started calming down.
"Now then, on to the diplomatic situation! My nation Jebel Shammar seeks an- ... Are you sleeping?"
The old man had closed his eyes and starting snoring.
The Emir sighed, then shook the old man to bring him back to the world of the awoken and proceeded to shout him in the face.
"I NEED AN ALLIANCE WITH THE OTTOMANS!"
The old man scratched his chin, then challenged the Emir.
"Win against me in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors and it's a deal."
(The Emir was really bad at Rock-Paper-Scissors.)
Azuzi started sweating heavily, this was it. All he had to do was concentrate.
He closed his eyes, seconds felt like minutes, slowly, the hand went down the first time, the second time and finally... Rock!
The old man stood there shocked, his scissors had been beaten. Azuzi looked the blind man in the eyes, before reality hit him.
The Emir started cheering wildly, how lucky he was. An alliance with the mighty Ottomans. He quickly pushed the old man out of his country and moved on to something else. His war plan.
(The plan in more simple terms: Right click, press attack, press ok.)
The Emir rubbed his hands and smiled. "What do you think Black Shadow?"
"Quite impressive Azuzi, quite impressive indeed!"
He laughed. "Yes! Impressive! Now take a look here..."
The Emir showed his shadow how the new weapons worked and some basic war knowledge, and turned back to the plan.
"Now then shadow, as you can se- What!? What's happened to my plan!?!"
(The truth always hurts.)
"Who dares mess with the mighty maps of Jebel Shammar!?" he looked around and saw his arch-nemesis. Again.
(There he is again!)
"Hahaha," laughed Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud. "Good luck ever invading Nejd without a war plan!" He quickly rode off before Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid could answer back. He instead just stared at the leaving Emir.
"We'll show him Shadow... We'll show him."
Grauuu: How could you forget to do something so important? You're a tit, trust me, I can tell. Please don't read my AAR.
history dude: The Emir finds no joy in beer. At least not until he defeats all his rivals!
Beleg32: Glad you liked it, and yes, taking over the world is the objective for Jebel Shammar, and it might just happen!
atty: Thanks for teaching me the basics of drunked Italian soldiers. Should the Emir encounter any more of these, I'll keep your advice in mind.
Asalto: The Black Shadow was busy scoring some shadow chicks.
Maj. von Mauser: Happy to hear you liked it and it won't die, no worries.(yet)
FlyingDutchie: The Emir is a true hero and a true god amongst men. Who else could take on a horde of drunk Italians and survive?
-----------------------
Chapter Five
The Final Preperations.
Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid was sleeping on his camel. Completely unaware of the situation that would repeat itself year after year.
"Happy new year Azuzi!" screamed his Black Shadow, as he fell into the sand once more.
"What, who's there!? watch out, I got a rifle!" yelled the Emir as he swung the Italian rifle left and right.
"It's just me Azuzi. Happy new year, it's 1914!"
"1914? I have a good feeling about this year. Let's celebrate by distributing these guns out to the soldiers!"
"Of course Azuzi!"
(The hard work finally paid off.)
"Start mass production immediately Shadow!"
"If by mass production, you mean getting a couple of house-wives in a basement to work three hours a day on it, then sure!"
The Emir looked at his shadow with a sad look on his face, then shook it off.
"Tell me some other news..."
"Well, the Archduke of Austria-Hungary, Franz Ferdinand, has been assassinated in Bosnia."
(This wouldn't be a problem in Jebel Shammar.)
"Pfft, nothing will happen because of this, it's but a simple murder-"
(Lesson: Don't kill Archdukes.)
The Emir stood there flabbergasted.
"... Black Shadow..."
"Yes?"
"Did the whole world just erupt in war?"
"Yes."
"Wow."
The two enjoyed a moment of silence and disbelief, then the Emir asked, "perhaps we can take advantage of this?"
The shadow smiled. (Or at least I think so, it's kind of hard to see the facial emotions of a shadow)
"Now that you say it, we are in the process of distributing your advanced version of guns to the soldiers, Jebel Shammar is ready for war Azuzi."
(Jebel Shammar. Now only 14 years behind.)
The Emir gasped, what was this strange feeling... Happiness? Joy? Excitement? The feeling of success? All unknown feelings to him, at least until today.
"Now then, there is only one thing left for us before we are fully ready Azuzi."
"What is that Black Shadow?"
"We need allies, and for that I have invited an Ottoman."
"Aha! An Ottoman official!"
"Actually it's just a peasant from the other side of the border, the Ottomans don't find us influential enough to send anyone else."
The Emir's face quickly changed into a mix of anger and sadness, but he finally sighed in acceptance of the situation.
"I guess we have no choice Shadow... Bring him over."
An old peasant in rags came closer.
"Ah! Welcome to my country!" greeted the Emir.
"What? Where? Who's talking!?" shouted the old man.
"Dear God he's blind..." The Emir planted his palm firmly to his face, whispering to himself. "Just get this over with, just get this over with..."
"Where are you, you young whippersnapper!? Come closer and I'll show you!" continued the old man, as he swung a stick around in front of him.
The Emir walked closer, but came within range of the old man's stick and were now being beaten senseless.
"Stop it, ow, stop that please, it's me, the Emir!" screamed Azuzi in terror.
"Oh, I see, I was supposed to talk with you." said the old man and started calming down.
"Now then, on to the diplomatic situation! My nation Jebel Shammar seeks an- ... Are you sleeping?"
The old man had closed his eyes and starting snoring.
The Emir sighed, then shook the old man to bring him back to the world of the awoken and proceeded to shout him in the face.
"I NEED AN ALLIANCE WITH THE OTTOMANS!"
The old man scratched his chin, then challenged the Emir.
"Win against me in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors and it's a deal."
(The Emir was really bad at Rock-Paper-Scissors.)
Azuzi started sweating heavily, this was it. All he had to do was concentrate.
He closed his eyes, seconds felt like minutes, slowly, the hand went down the first time, the second time and finally... Rock!
The old man stood there shocked, his scissors had been beaten. Azuzi looked the blind man in the eyes, before reality hit him.
The Emir started cheering wildly, how lucky he was. An alliance with the mighty Ottomans. He quickly pushed the old man out of his country and moved on to something else. His war plan.
(The plan in more simple terms: Right click, press attack, press ok.)
The Emir rubbed his hands and smiled. "What do you think Black Shadow?"
"Quite impressive Azuzi, quite impressive indeed!"
He laughed. "Yes! Impressive! Now take a look here..."
The Emir showed his shadow how the new weapons worked and some basic war knowledge, and turned back to the plan.
"Now then shadow, as you can se- What!? What's happened to my plan!?!"
(The truth always hurts.)
"Who dares mess with the mighty maps of Jebel Shammar!?" he looked around and saw his arch-nemesis. Again.
(There he is again!)
"Hahaha," laughed Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud. "Good luck ever invading Nejd without a war plan!" He quickly rode off before Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid could answer back. He instead just stared at the leaving Emir.
"We'll show him Shadow... We'll show him."
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Well, it would have been quite surprising to lose at Rock-Paper-Scissors against a blind person...
Wait.....so the blind guy isn't blind?
Another wonderful update, you'll have to successfully invade Nejd
Wait.....so the blind guy isn't blind?
My god, you're right!
I'll eh... I'll fix that before Azuzi sees it.
Jebal Shammar has a larger population than two? This is a revelation! (the housewives)
Ahh, good update.
What a coup it would be if the Emir was able to gain control of the Ottoman Military. This would involve actual travel, but it isn't far to get out of Jebel Shammar...
What a coup it would be if the Emir was able to gain control of the Ottoman Military. This would involve actual travel, but it isn't far to get out of Jebel Shammar...
Jebel Shammar vs. Nejd...who will win, nobody knows..
(Random unknown raises hand) "I know"
Quiet you!!!
(Random unknown raises hand) "I know"
Quiet you!!!