Discomb’s Update 2: Myth Sucks (and I don't mean the cruiser)
So the game began… quickly. I didn’t hesitate to declare war on Denmark right away. I mean, they had no soldiers on my border, and I had plenty. Why waste time? I had completely annexed them as quickly as was physically possible, and there really isn’t any more to say on that. The troops used in this assault were moved to the Belgian border for general usefulness later. I had no plans to cross into Sweden or Norway. That would be stupid at this point.
Naturally, all the other troops marched head first into Czechoslovakia. The armor raced down the spine to get to Romania as faster than they could say “Hey! Guys! We have a border with the Czechoslovakians! I didn’t even realize!” Infantry crushed them in the mountains for hard earned combat stars. The long and difficult mountain battles were generally useful, since I was still winning, but prolonged combat adds to troop experience. However, once I had reached Romania, the near total lack of infantry, and the furious distance from my only HQ unit did not come in handy. More on that later.
My brother, meanwhile, took his time getting his army together. He decided it would be stupid to attack Spain with what he had at the moment, after trimming off the useless militia and whatever else he didn’t need. Frankly, I would have done the same thing, but given that it’s my brother playing, one must be extra careful with how much of an advantage they should have when attacking another country. Especially a not so entirely worthless one such as Spain.
To accurately assess my brother's playstyle, imagine being the leader of a nation who's chief of the army graduated from the Savannah Art School with a degree in epic failure. Imagine your own experience in leading a nation can be charitably described as a profound waste of time, and your head of state is a shredded orange sock puppet. I’m overstating of course, but to say fewer words is to ignore a perfect opportunity to poke fun at the man who DELETED HIS ENTIRE ARMY at the start of the game, prompting a restart. See the 4th post in this AAR if you’ve already forgotten.
Relying on myself alone, I finished the war with Czechoslovakia (or should I say Germany) and soon enough was rolling into Romania to find that the Romanians were pretty unhappy about that. They threw people and machinery at my tanks in the hopes of slowing them down. Soon enough I ran out of steam, and spent more time defending than attacking. However, my infantry arrived to hold the line, and the campaign continued after a little reorganization. The main annoyance was that one victory province on the soviet border, which I tried to take quickly in a jab manoeuvre with my armor. This ended in miserable failure, as I was continuously pushed back by the seemingly endless hordes of Romanian cavalry. In fact, the Soviet Union’s declaration of war on Romania aided my situation immensely. I was able to dedicate all forces towards a straight push down to the capitol, while using the tired and/or slower elements to crush opposition on the western flank against international borders. Soon enough Romania was mine, though Myth took one province more than I expected him to. Not that it bothered me that he took a province only marginally better than the sand sea territory, but it might make him cocky later, and nobody likes that.
By the way, I wasn’t paying much attention to Myth’s campaign in Turkey at this point, but I certainly made sure to notify him in not so friendly recompense that he is a remarkable failure for letting the GREEKS, of ALL PEOPLE take Istanbul, the capitol city of the nation he was trying to conquer. I wouldn’t be surprised if his description of the front commander is actually a fictional autobiography of sorts, and yet, this wasn’t the end of the shockers for that hour. The Greeks, and yes I still have a bit of trouble with this, but the Greeks declared war on me! Why? Do they like death? Do they profoundly enjoy turning into a bloody mess at the expense of a few tons’ worth of explosive material and lead being fired at them? Here’s my reaction to their DOW, complete with realistic caption:
Double Yuu Tee Eff?!?!?!?!
You will notice that it’s still light outside. How odd. And while we’re on the subject of reactions, here’s what Myth’s face looked like when I attacked Lithuania, or would look like if you were tripping some really heavy acid that day. My brother really needs to learn to wield a camera as powerful as mine.
Oh my god Anton is so smart he is attacking Lithuania and he’s going to get it before I can oh noes I will ask him where he keeps the razor blades now!
I take no responsibility for the non-accuracy of the caption, given that it’s nearly impossible to identify the man in the picture as Myth anyway. That said, let’s spend a few moments talking about why I attacked Lithuania. Firstly, I had troops doing nothing on its’ border. Troops that could definitely and easily defeat any resistance they could possibly put up. Secondly, despite Myth’s completely wrong (though not historically inaccurate) assessment of why I may have done that, I simply needed a jabbing territory into our border. Given that it’s the closest land I would have to Moscow, he was most likely to mass troops there in an attempt to take it back first, and prevent an insane push straight for Moscow and/or Leningrad. That I did in the end get all of Lithuania proved very important later, but that will be explained later, as the word later implies, obviously.
Last but not least, my Future plans at this point, were pretty simple. Since Greece was at war with me already, I could drive down and smash them, opening up new opportunities for borders with Myth, and general usefulness. I’d have to smash through Bulgaria first, but most of my troops were on their border already anyway, so that seemed easier done than said. Then I would be preparing for the invasion of Yugoslavia, by then with an armored force 4 times the size of the one I had now. Of course, neither would I say no to snatching Istanbul, should the opportunity present itself. My industry was geared towards production of only tanks and more industry, so the only thing I would be making for the next while is war, not pretzels and sausages.
This is a picture of me taking notes. That is amazing! I should have learned to do that while I was still in school.
And if you’re wondering why I’m so dirty and bummed out, it’s because I’ve been gaming for a few weeks with very little regard for hygiene and nutrition.
In the summertime, when the weather is fine,
You can stretch right up and touch the sky.
When the weather’s fine,
You’ve got women you’ve got women
On your mind.
Have a drink, have a drive,
Go out and see what you can find.
Jerry Mungo – In The Summertime. Look it up.