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What is left in Europe now? For that matter, where did the Pope move to after the last annexation?
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Wait, Kurland existed? You don't see that very often, at least I don't... or is it more common in HttT?
Good job finishing off those dasterdly Hansans (Hansiats? Hansiatics? Hansols? Hansolos? ....People of The Hansa) You managed to get them before they had a chance to spring whatever evil plan they were no doubt plotting to rescue the world from the devestation that is Scottish ocupation.
Thank you hugely for the replies!
lordkestrel - I'm afraid Europe is lost! The coming update shall show this horrific turn of events. As for the Pope it would appear he is in hiding. After the last annexation of the Papal States some years previously, I have not seen the nation arise anywhere else. Scotland still remains Papal Controller however!
sjones25 - Its none too common, I can only surmise they were released by a country in an AI peace deal. I think it may have been when Bohemia was being torn into by various AI powers. I then just allowed them to live as one of the electors whilst a OPM.
Regarding The Hansa, how true! A Statthalter naggy would easily have bested Scotland, and conquered all her land. On second thoughts I probably should have allowed for this to happen. A world conquered by Scotland is a horrifying proposition.
blsteen - Muscowy down, only a few more remaining! And then peace...bliss... Okay, its Scotland so that should be changed to; anarchy...destruction...
theconfusedone - I'm afraid to say I've done my usual, playing during the weekend then typing up the updates when I have time. As such the game is rather ahead of the current update. However I was planning to post a picture of the world map in the very next update after this one, thus please check back then!
lordkestrel - I'm afraid Europe is lost! The coming update shall show this horrific turn of events. As for the Pope it would appear he is in hiding. After the last annexation of the Papal States some years previously, I have not seen the nation arise anywhere else. Scotland still remains Papal Controller however!
sjones25 - Its none too common, I can only surmise they were released by a country in an AI peace deal. I think it may have been when Bohemia was being torn into by various AI powers. I then just allowed them to live as one of the electors whilst a OPM.
Regarding The Hansa, how true! A Statthalter naggy would easily have bested Scotland, and conquered all her land. On second thoughts I probably should have allowed for this to happen. A world conquered by Scotland is a horrifying proposition.
blsteen - Muscowy down, only a few more remaining! And then peace...bliss... Okay, its Scotland so that should be changed to; anarchy...destruction...
theconfusedone - I'm afraid to say I've done my usual, playing during the weekend then typing up the updates when I have time. As such the game is rather ahead of the current update. However I was planning to post a picture of the world map in the very next update after this one, thus please check back then!
The Scottish government is constantly lauded as the best in the world. Ability, intelligence, competence and effiency...it has none of them. It is very open to bribes however.
No wonder Scotland has reached maximum prestige.
On the 25th June 1562 Crete accepts full annexation. Only Scandinavia is left to save Europe from the enveloping darkness.
In a rather gamey move, I save an event and only make use of it after changing government.
The people of Scotland are no doubt proud of this near-cheating. Readers (more likely, 'reader', but I am being optimistic) out there are no doubt disgusted by such shenanigans. I have to admit I was a bit uneasy with this choice myself, but it makes little true difference to the outcome of the game at this point. I think Scotland is in a sufficiently dominant position (if things had been otherwise I would have never contemplated it). Plus if readers have not already been hugely offended by the tripe I have typed here and the actions I have taken during this game, I am very surprised.
On the 7th January 1563 Swahili accepts full annexation.
Disaster for Europe.
With Scandinavia's fall, all of Europe is now controlled by Scotland. Truly this is a world no sane person would wish to live in.
Chinese nations have begun losing land to Scotland.
It looks as if Asia will suffer the same horrible consequances as Europe. Can none stop this rampage towards obesity and alcoholic problems (one of the main problems if Scotland conquers the world of course being a complete lack of alcohol for everyone)?
On the 9th August 1566 Malwa accepts full annexation.
On the 24th February 1567 Mutapa accepts full annexation.
On the 24th March 1567 Sukhothai accepts full annexation.
Ming is the last nation truly worthy of the title of 'empire' outside of Scotland. Well truly, Scotland is more worthy of the title of 'cesspool'. Who shall triumph in this clash of titans? Can Ming finally end this madness? Will they save the world from the sight of fat men wearing skirts accross the planet?
Despite Scotland's overwhelming numbers on paper, in the actual theatre Scotland can 'only' draw upon 120,000 men. This is due to her remaining forces having been spread accross her lands, busy stamping down revolts. Could this finally be a war too many?
Alas no. The land technology advantage held by Scotland is too much. It truly seems as if incompetency will rule the world.
On the 18th April 1568 Syria accepts full annexation.
On the 29th June 1568 Adal accepts full annexation.
On the 11th August 1568 Nepal accepts full annexation.
Constant war against other smaller nations continues whilst Ming is brought to the peace table.
On the 12th November 1570 Ceylon accepts full annexation.
On the 10th January 1571 Taunga accepts full annexation.
On the 27th February 1571 Bhutan accepts full annexation.
On the 11th April 1572 Deccan accepts full annexation.
The previous section of, 'On the [insert date] [insert country name] accepts full annexation.', is clearly the best part of this AAR.
Another continent has fully fallen to Scottish tryanny.
Africa is now doomed to Scottish mismanagement.
On the 17th November 1573 Yemen accepts full annexation.
Another continent falls.
South America has joined the ranks of the doomed.
On the 14th November 1574 Champa accepts full annexation.
June 1575 brings about another national idea, Colonial Ventures. The oppressed and miserable citizens of Scotland need little encouragement to begin flocking out of their craphole country.
March 1576 asks more questions of Scottish child rearing habits.
The new King is crowned. However he brings with him an heir who is already 11. So this means either he has a brother called James, whilst also being called James himself. Or he fathered his son whilst being about ten years old... Huzzah for the Stuart family, ensuring Scotland's reputation for being inbred numpties.
No wonder Scotland has reached maximum prestige.
On the 25th June 1562 Crete accepts full annexation. Only Scandinavia is left to save Europe from the enveloping darkness.
In a rather gamey move, I save an event and only make use of it after changing government.
The people of Scotland are no doubt proud of this near-cheating. Readers (more likely, 'reader', but I am being optimistic) out there are no doubt disgusted by such shenanigans. I have to admit I was a bit uneasy with this choice myself, but it makes little true difference to the outcome of the game at this point. I think Scotland is in a sufficiently dominant position (if things had been otherwise I would have never contemplated it). Plus if readers have not already been hugely offended by the tripe I have typed here and the actions I have taken during this game, I am very surprised.
On the 7th January 1563 Swahili accepts full annexation.
Disaster for Europe.
With Scandinavia's fall, all of Europe is now controlled by Scotland. Truly this is a world no sane person would wish to live in.
Chinese nations have begun losing land to Scotland.
It looks as if Asia will suffer the same horrible consequances as Europe. Can none stop this rampage towards obesity and alcoholic problems (one of the main problems if Scotland conquers the world of course being a complete lack of alcohol for everyone)?
On the 9th August 1566 Malwa accepts full annexation.
On the 24th February 1567 Mutapa accepts full annexation.
On the 24th March 1567 Sukhothai accepts full annexation.
Ming is the last nation truly worthy of the title of 'empire' outside of Scotland. Well truly, Scotland is more worthy of the title of 'cesspool'. Who shall triumph in this clash of titans? Can Ming finally end this madness? Will they save the world from the sight of fat men wearing skirts accross the planet?
Despite Scotland's overwhelming numbers on paper, in the actual theatre Scotland can 'only' draw upon 120,000 men. This is due to her remaining forces having been spread accross her lands, busy stamping down revolts. Could this finally be a war too many?
Alas no. The land technology advantage held by Scotland is too much. It truly seems as if incompetency will rule the world.
On the 18th April 1568 Syria accepts full annexation.
On the 29th June 1568 Adal accepts full annexation.
On the 11th August 1568 Nepal accepts full annexation.
Constant war against other smaller nations continues whilst Ming is brought to the peace table.
On the 12th November 1570 Ceylon accepts full annexation.
On the 10th January 1571 Taunga accepts full annexation.
On the 27th February 1571 Bhutan accepts full annexation.
On the 11th April 1572 Deccan accepts full annexation.
The previous section of, 'On the [insert date] [insert country name] accepts full annexation.', is clearly the best part of this AAR.
Another continent has fully fallen to Scottish tryanny.
Africa is now doomed to Scottish mismanagement.
On the 17th November 1573 Yemen accepts full annexation.
Another continent falls.
South America has joined the ranks of the doomed.
On the 14th November 1574 Champa accepts full annexation.
June 1575 brings about another national idea, Colonial Ventures. The oppressed and miserable citizens of Scotland need little encouragement to begin flocking out of their craphole country.
March 1576 asks more questions of Scottish child rearing habits.
The new King is crowned. However he brings with him an heir who is already 11. So this means either he has a brother called James, whilst also being called James himself. Or he fathered his son whilst being about ten years old... Huzzah for the Stuart family, ensuring Scotland's reputation for being inbred numpties.
You used the word "numpty".
I don't think I've ever used that in an AAR before.
Congratulations
Brilliant update - it's nice to see the world rapidly sliding into the cholestrol filled abyss of Scottishness!
I don't think I've ever used that in an AAR before.
Congratulations
Brilliant update - it's nice to see the world rapidly sliding into the cholestrol filled abyss of Scottishness!
Numpties are good, alcohol is good and indeed so are annexations
And as Frankie Boyle has pointed out heroin will save Scotland from too much obesity; at least I assume the push into SE Asia is all about public health
And as Frankie Boyle has pointed out heroin will save Scotland from too much obesity; at least I assume the push into SE Asia is all about public health
You used the word "numpty".
I don't think I've ever used that in an AAR before.
Congratulations
Brilliant update - it's nice to see the world rapidly sliding into the cholestrol filled abyss of Scottishness!
This will lead to a best selling coffee-table book "Kilts of the World", and a World Bagpipe Music section at stores. Not to mention General Tso's Haggis.
ah, and without translation either ... ever one to rise to a challenge I'll see if I can slip in a stushie or two
great update, your progress is awesome, as is the wilfull ignoring of the implications of stratospheric levels of badboy
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I think its more a matter of welcoming the implications rather than ignoring them. Badboy wars FTW!your progress is awesome, as is the wilfull ignoring of the implications of stratospheric levels of badboy
I'll see if I can slip in a stushie or two
That's not a euphimism, is it?
I also think that, instead of declaring war, he should yell "YOU'RE CLAIMED BY THE WAY!" at the other countries.
That would be appropriatly Glaswegian.
Thank you hugely for the replies!
Iain Wilson - Its a great word that should be seen far more often on the internet!
PrawnStar - Indeed, you have seen the masterplan! The fact that Scottish forces simply started rolling in that direction had no bearing on this drive eastwards. This was all planned. *cough*
Frankie Boyle is simply legendary!
naggy - Aye, Scotland is exporting the contents Edinburgh's Royal Mile to the rest of the world!
Duke of Wellington - Thank you kindly (bribe, of course, in the post!)
loki100 - I need yet more infamy...I want a higher score!
sjones25 - How true! Anyway it makes sense that the world detests a Scotland out to conquer everyone. The world turned tartan is simply a horrifying thought.
blsteen - I have to confess I'd never heard of the General Tso brand before! Excellent idea for it to bring out a range of haggis however...
I apologise in advance to theconfusedone and anyone else waiting for a world map, this next update dragged on a bit longer than I had been expected...due to my mad ramblings. Apologies, the next update after this one will certainly have a world map and general overview. Its not a pretty picture I'm afraid.
Iain Wilson - Its a great word that should be seen far more often on the internet!
PrawnStar - Indeed, you have seen the masterplan! The fact that Scottish forces simply started rolling in that direction had no bearing on this drive eastwards. This was all planned. *cough*
Frankie Boyle is simply legendary!
naggy - Aye, Scotland is exporting the contents Edinburgh's Royal Mile to the rest of the world!
Duke of Wellington - Thank you kindly (bribe, of course, in the post!)
loki100 - I need yet more infamy...I want a higher score!
sjones25 - How true! Anyway it makes sense that the world detests a Scotland out to conquer everyone. The world turned tartan is simply a horrifying thought.
blsteen - I have to confess I'd never heard of the General Tso brand before! Excellent idea for it to bring out a range of haggis however...
I apologise in advance to theconfusedone and anyone else waiting for a world map, this next update dragged on a bit longer than I had been expected...due to my mad ramblings. Apologies, the next update after this one will certainly have a world map and general overview. Its not a pretty picture I'm afraid.
The simply epic writing in the last update will prove hugely difficult to replicate let alone best. In writing, 'On the [insert date here] [insert nation here] accepts full annexation', it takes a huge amount of talent in order to type up such magic. What a pity I have no talent, and thus it is never magic emanating from my fingertips, but rather garbage...oh well, why change a losing formula?
On the 25th October 1576 Makassar accepts full annexation.
On the 5th January 1577 Annam accepts full annexation.
No, no...this just isn't working for me. I've lost the passion. This is changing from drivel to garbage, I need to attempt some new approaches to this.
6/02/1577 - Wu is annexed.
Hmm...not liking this much either. Perhaps if I try...
Lots of nations accept full annexation on various dates hereafter. Succinct. However without the annexation notices, my AAR loses much of its...well...content. Back to the old style then.
On the 21rst April 1577 Khmer accepts full annexation.
This is more like it. Boring readers to tears once again.
On the 2nd September 1577 Lan Na accepts full annexation.
On the 13th September 1578 Pegu accepts full annexation.
There is but one nation left in the world with even a small chance of ending Scotland's destructive empire building.
Thankfully all hope is not lost for any sane reasonable person out there hoping for saviour from the tyrannical rule of the tyrannical Scots. For the one nation now tasked with smacking the skirt wearers about is the warrior nation of Japan. A nation rich in bravery, famed for its martial prowess. Can the Scottish maniacs finally be defeated? Can this AAR finally be ended? Can the writer finally stop asking questions? Well...yes, I can, since I am of course typing the questions...Uhm...onwards!
A look at the disposition of the noble and brave Japanese forces raises a worrying point.
Uhm...the Japanese general seems rather incompetent. He has created a stack so large that he is suffering attrition...whilst stationed in his own province. He should be recruited by Scotland frankly. No doubt this is a subtle ruse by the Japanese. They shall best Scotland. They must.
War is declared. Japan's allies are drafted in. The last notable powers are arrayed against Scotland.
The world's future hangs in the balance...
Oh well...skirts and haggis all round then.
October 1579 and explorers uncover the perfect site for the Scottish capital.
Plans are made to move the capital here forthwith.
On the 10th April 1580 Aceh accepts full annexation.
Japan is brought to the peace table in a deal which truly cripples her.
Few can now doubt that the world will become Scottish. Tam O'Shanters and kilts are dusted off with resignation at the fact.
On the 15th May 1581 Majapahit accepts full annexation.
On the 24th June 1584 Korea accepts full annexation.
War is declared on both Ming and Japan whenever the opportunity arises. Their land is quickly gobbled up by a rapacious Scotland.
May 1586 heralds the crowning of a new King.
Few are surprised when James V comes ready prepared with another James heir in tow. Inbreeding is live and kicking in Scotland.
February 1588 witnesses a true miracle.
A Scottish King actually promoting education as opposed to drinking, corruption and debauchery?! Calls for James V's head are heard throughout the land.
On the 6th July 1591 Scotland declares war on Ming. Again. Japan had gauranteed Ming, and rallies to her call. Both Japan and Ming are now of OPM status. Is this to be the last war?
Yes.
Uhm...rather anti-climatic.
(please note that despite having over 550,000 under arms the current mission is to 'Create an army for our nation', Scottish incompetence at its finest)
On the 25th October 1576 Makassar accepts full annexation.
On the 5th January 1577 Annam accepts full annexation.
No, no...this just isn't working for me. I've lost the passion. This is changing from drivel to garbage, I need to attempt some new approaches to this.
6/02/1577 - Wu is annexed.
Hmm...not liking this much either. Perhaps if I try...
Lots of nations accept full annexation on various dates hereafter. Succinct. However without the annexation notices, my AAR loses much of its...well...content. Back to the old style then.
On the 21rst April 1577 Khmer accepts full annexation.
This is more like it. Boring readers to tears once again.
On the 2nd September 1577 Lan Na accepts full annexation.
On the 13th September 1578 Pegu accepts full annexation.
There is but one nation left in the world with even a small chance of ending Scotland's destructive empire building.
Thankfully all hope is not lost for any sane reasonable person out there hoping for saviour from the tyrannical rule of the tyrannical Scots. For the one nation now tasked with smacking the skirt wearers about is the warrior nation of Japan. A nation rich in bravery, famed for its martial prowess. Can the Scottish maniacs finally be defeated? Can this AAR finally be ended? Can the writer finally stop asking questions? Well...yes, I can, since I am of course typing the questions...Uhm...onwards!
A look at the disposition of the noble and brave Japanese forces raises a worrying point.
Uhm...the Japanese general seems rather incompetent. He has created a stack so large that he is suffering attrition...whilst stationed in his own province. He should be recruited by Scotland frankly. No doubt this is a subtle ruse by the Japanese. They shall best Scotland. They must.
War is declared. Japan's allies are drafted in. The last notable powers are arrayed against Scotland.
The world's future hangs in the balance...
Oh well...skirts and haggis all round then.
October 1579 and explorers uncover the perfect site for the Scottish capital.
Plans are made to move the capital here forthwith.
On the 10th April 1580 Aceh accepts full annexation.
Japan is brought to the peace table in a deal which truly cripples her.
Few can now doubt that the world will become Scottish. Tam O'Shanters and kilts are dusted off with resignation at the fact.
On the 15th May 1581 Majapahit accepts full annexation.
On the 24th June 1584 Korea accepts full annexation.
War is declared on both Ming and Japan whenever the opportunity arises. Their land is quickly gobbled up by a rapacious Scotland.
May 1586 heralds the crowning of a new King.
Few are surprised when James V comes ready prepared with another James heir in tow. Inbreeding is live and kicking in Scotland.
February 1588 witnesses a true miracle.
A Scottish King actually promoting education as opposed to drinking, corruption and debauchery?! Calls for James V's head are heard throughout the land.
On the 6th July 1591 Scotland declares war on Ming. Again. Japan had gauranteed Ming, and rallies to her call. Both Japan and Ming are now of OPM status. Is this to be the last war?
Yes.
Uhm...rather anti-climatic.
(please note that despite having over 550,000 under arms the current mission is to 'Create an army for our nation', Scottish incompetence at its finest)
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Very good AAR! Glad you crossed the finish line despite such incompetence!
Your AAR inspired me to start a campaign with scotland (scotland->scandinavia->prussia), of course incompetence will rule!
Your AAR inspired me to start a campaign with scotland (scotland->scandinavia->prussia), of course incompetence will rule!
Nice one good win, have an Irn Bru and Buckie to celebrate
Did you have an acceptable Infamy score at the end?
Did you have an acceptable Infamy score at the end?
Genuinely impressive - I started reading for tips on how to survive despite being next to the 'english' and we end up in charge of the world
but what now ... try again but go for even higher levels of badboy, infamy and dodgy food groups?
but what now ... try again but go for even higher levels of badboy, infamy and dodgy food groups?
Great AAR! Too bad they all wind up becoming somewhat if not completely boring near the end. The game would be better if the AI built its own megaempires. You should definitely make another AAR very soon!