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Confederate General Braxton Bragg had a reputation of being a little difficult person. A story told of Bragg goes according to wikipedia like this:
"Bragg had a reputation for being a strict disciplinarian and one who adhered to regulations literally. There is a famous, apocryphal story, included in Ulysses S. Grant's memoirs, about Bragg as a company commander at a frontier post where he also served as quartermaster. He submitted a requisition for supplies for his company, then as quartermaster declined to fill it. As company commander, he resubmitted the requisition, giving additional reasons for his requirements, but as the quartermaster he denied the request again. Realizing that he was at a personal impasse, he referred the matter to the post commandant, who exclaimed, "My God, Mr. Bragg, you have quarreled with every officer in the army, and now you are quarreling with yourself!""
A funny story, though quite possibly just a story.
"Bragg had a reputation for being a strict disciplinarian and one who adhered to regulations literally. There is a famous, apocryphal story, included in Ulysses S. Grant's memoirs, about Bragg as a company commander at a frontier post where he also served as quartermaster. He submitted a requisition for supplies for his company, then as quartermaster declined to fill it. As company commander, he resubmitted the requisition, giving additional reasons for his requirements, but as the quartermaster he denied the request again. Realizing that he was at a personal impasse, he referred the matter to the post commandant, who exclaimed, "My God, Mr. Bragg, you have quarreled with every officer in the army, and now you are quarreling with yourself!""
A funny story, though quite possibly just a story.
If you happen to be in Nice one day, you may hear a canon shot at noon.
In the 1860s, an English tourist residing at one of the hotels on the boardwalk had to struggle everyday to call his wife for lunch. So he offered the local authorities a canon with ammo and they agreed it should be fired everyday at noon, when a flag was hoisted from the hotel. They still fire it today.
In the 1860s, an English tourist residing at one of the hotels on the boardwalk had to struggle everyday to call his wife for lunch. So he offered the local authorities a canon with ammo and they agreed it should be fired everyday at noon, when a flag was hoisted from the hotel. They still fire it today.
In 1507, short before the war of the league of Cambrai, Pope Julius II. had an intense debate with the venetian ambassadors. He wanted the holdings in the Romagna back, most importantly Ravenna.
In this discussion, the Holy Father exclaimed: "Where in the world is written, that Venice has the right to dominate the sea?"
The venetian ambassador Priuli encountered:
"On the backside of the Donation of Constantine."
In this discussion, the Holy Father exclaimed: "Where in the world is written, that Venice has the right to dominate the sea?"
The venetian ambassador Priuli encountered:
"On the backside of the Donation of Constantine."
during WW2 the russians trained anti-tank dogs, the dogs would be trained to crawl underneath a tank and then an explosive strapped to the dog would take the tank (and the dog) out
the problem was that the dogs were trained with russian tanks and during combat situations tended to crawl under their own tanks
the problem was that the dogs were trained with russian tanks and during combat situations tended to crawl under their own tanks
Or worse, they'd get frightened and run right back to their handlers, who were in the trenches with the soldiers. Lots of reports of "friendly fire" taking out the first batch of anti-tank dogs, because no one wants an armed tank bomb running right at them.
Related are the American forays into bat bombs, effectively strapping napalm incendiary bombs with timed detonators to bats. The hope was that these bats, released over Japanese cities via special canisters, would roost in the wooden buildings during the day and sleep. When the bombs went off, they would set off an uncontrollable conflagration across the entire city. The catch was that that, during early trials at Carlsbad, the Army kinda...lost some of the bats. The bats, true to their nature, roosted in dark and quiet areas to wait for nightfall, which included an area in close proximity to a large fuel tank, but the bombs had been armed for the trials. Oopsie. Unfortunately for mad science-types, and very fortunately for the bats, the project was eventually cancelled to make way for the atom bomb.
The minister in charge of food supply in Britain during WWI was called the 'Controller of Potatoes'...
You could imagine the jokers who could have sent him letters saying: "My potatoes are too wild, could you come control them for me?"
You could imagine the jokers who could have sent him letters saying: "My potatoes are too wild, could you come control them for me?"
There was once this german financial minister (under Wilhelm II., IIRC), who called the lacking decoltée of some lady an ´uncovered defecit´.
Cited from wikipedia, about Titanic's sister ship Olympic sinking a U-boat:
"In the early hours of 12 May 1918, while en route for France with US troops under the command of Captain Hayes, Olympic sighted a surfaced U-boat 500 m (1,600 ft) ahead.[59] Her gunners opened fire at once, and she turned to ram the submarine, which immediately crash dived to 30 m (98 ft) and turned to a parallel course. Almost immediately afterwards Olympic struck the submarine just aft of her conning tower and her port propeller sliced through U-103's pressure hull. The crew of U-103 blew her ballast tanks, scuttled and abandoned the submarine. This is the only known incident in World War I in which a merchant vessel sank an enemy warship. Olympic returned to Southampton with at least two hull plates dented and her prow twisted to one side, but not breached."
"In the early hours of 12 May 1918, while en route for France with US troops under the command of Captain Hayes, Olympic sighted a surfaced U-boat 500 m (1,600 ft) ahead.[59] Her gunners opened fire at once, and she turned to ram the submarine, which immediately crash dived to 30 m (98 ft) and turned to a parallel course. Almost immediately afterwards Olympic struck the submarine just aft of her conning tower and her port propeller sliced through U-103's pressure hull. The crew of U-103 blew her ballast tanks, scuttled and abandoned the submarine. This is the only known incident in World War I in which a merchant vessel sank an enemy warship. Olympic returned to Southampton with at least two hull plates dented and her prow twisted to one side, but not breached."
'41 december, White house
- Advisor: "Sir, we have been dowed by the Kingdom of Hungary"
- RooseVelt: "Really? Its a Kingdom? And who is their king?"
- A:"They have no king, they r led by an Admiral, Miklos Horthy."
- FDL:"Ahham. An admiral. So Hungary have sea?"
- A:"Err. No they have no sea."
- FDL: "Well ok. It's all one. So, Why did they dow us? What territorical demands Hungary has against us?"
- A: "Mr. President, Hungary has no territorical claims on the USA"
- FDL: "No? And which countries Hungary has territorical claims on?"
- A: "They have territorical claims on Slovakia, Romania, Croatia"
- FDL: "I see. So these countries are the enemines of Hungary?"
- A: "No. These countries are allies of Hungary"
- Advisor: "Sir, we have been dowed by the Kingdom of Hungary"
- RooseVelt: "Really? Its a Kingdom? And who is their king?"
- A:"They have no king, they r led by an Admiral, Miklos Horthy."
- FDL:"Ahham. An admiral. So Hungary have sea?"
- A:"Err. No they have no sea."
- FDL: "Well ok. It's all one. So, Why did they dow us? What territorical demands Hungary has against us?"
- A: "Mr. President, Hungary has no territorical claims on the USA"
- FDL: "No? And which countries Hungary has territorical claims on?"
- A: "They have territorical claims on Slovakia, Romania, Croatia"
- FDL: "I see. So these countries are the enemines of Hungary?"
- A: "No. These countries are allies of Hungary"
TBH, between 1941 and 1944 Hungary didn't really have any territorial claims on Romania since they already had the chunk of Transylvania they were claiming.
They didn't want just the chunk, they wanted all of Siebenburgen. The whole pie
My favorite is the famous Churchill vs. Lady Aston
LA: Sir, if you were my husband I would poison your coffee
WC: Madam, if you were my wife I'd drink it
My favorite is the famous Churchill vs. Lady Aston
LA: Sir, if you were my husband I would poison your coffee
WC: Madam, if you were my wife I'd drink it
This is one between Winston Churchill and either Bessie Braddock (known as "Battling Bessie") or Lady Astor, that came about when Churchill was making a speech in the House of Commons, and apparently was sluring his speech.
Female MP:"Winston, you're drunk, and what's more your disgustingly drunk."
Churchill:" Madam, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow morning, I'll be sober, and you will still be disgustingly ugly."
Another by Churchill was:
"The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."
Female MP:"Winston, you're drunk, and what's more your disgustingly drunk."
Churchill:" Madam, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow morning, I'll be sober, and you will still be disgustingly ugly."
Another by Churchill was:
"The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."
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Having seen Winston Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands, a gentleman remarked:
"At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet."
To which Churchill replied: "At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands."
"At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet."
To which Churchill replied: "At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands."