Chapter 10: OPERATION SLAPDANCE - The Battle for Big Pancake
Modern Dutch artillery ready for battle.
May 8 1940
Allied Commanders had barely survived the celebrations after OPERATION SNOW WHITE saved Scandinavia against all odds and realistic expectations, when new disaster stroke; The Germans had attacked the Low Countries. As in Denmark, these countries had plumped new depths of gurgling idiocy by not mobilizing their armies, and were certain to capitulate as fast as Germans could drive to Amsterdam. Following the now familiar pattern, Spanish Command launched two simultaneous operations; CINDARELLA to create a defensive perimeter in Luxembourg, Belgium and Southern Holland, and SLAPDANCE to reinforce Amsterdam, which was in danger to be overrun. Generally the geography of the Pancake of Europe favored defense since major rivers Rein, Waal ja Maas formed nice, defensible fronts against the attacker. But if French-Spanish troops could not make it in time, all could be lost. Desperate rush towards to help the Dutch army begun.
Through the following weeks Luftwaffe bombed defenders strongly, despite massive air battles.
Classic portrait of German infantryman in Belgium.
In south Spanish divisions were immediately deployed to help struggling Luxembourg that had brazenly declared war on Germany. The nearest divisions were the three 'crazy' motorized Spanish divisions, including former Legion Condom (or was it Condor?) These formations were the fastest in Spanish army and they arrived 9 May to find defenders of Lux in deep trouble, or already running away. Confidently Spanish defenders opened fire on surprised Germans. The Battle of Luxembourg was to last for many bloody weeks, and many crazy Spanish divisions fought here, including 'Jabberwock', 'Mad Max' and 'Metalhead.'
In north SLAPDANCE was in full swing, and five Spanish divisions had been deployed in Amsterdam. These divisions were the infamous 'Big Iron', 'Tuco', 'Angel Eyes', 'Blondie' and 'Django.' The fate of the Dutch freedom would hang upon these divisions. The French reinforcements were arriving later, but these were not trusted by Spanish commanders.
However, soon after their deployment in Amsterdam few things became obvious, and among them was the fact that whole Dutch army was in danger of being captured. Germans had smashed the woefully unprepared Dutch defenders in few hours and now they were in full retreat, soon to engulfed by rapidly advancing motorized German divisions. Original SLAPDANCE plan was quickly altered to meet this situation and Spanish divisions were dispatched to save the Dutch army from its own stupidity.
'Tuco' and 'Angel Eyes' try to save Dutch army from encirclement. More Spanish divisions are deployed to hold rivers.
As Spanish divisions rushed through the night they were met with stragglers and fleeing civilians all with stories of incredibly fast advance of German forces, and most with bitter comments about their own government. Some seven Dutch divisions were said to be in quickly shrinking pocket ahead, and time was of the essence. Saving these divisions would go a long way to bolster Dutch morale and defenses.
But it was not to be. Brave Spanish relief force came under attack by German 36th Motorized division and were forced to defend themselves and hold the gap open for any Dutch soldiers who made it this far. Not many did. For days two Spanish divisions held the gap open in Arnhem, featuring famous That Bridge Too Far, under fierce pressure from five German divisions. Finally no more Dutch soldiers were coming, and Spanish divisions retreated to avoid useless casualties, blowing the bridges with demolition charges as they retreated. Casualties remained low so far, but majority of Dutch army could not be saved. It was estimated that some 10-12 surprised Dutch divisions were lost during the five first days of battle.
While at same time in Belgium Spanish divisions had made it to the border which they found under attack by Germans, defended by weak Belgian formations. Luckily the armies of Low Countries were at 50% strength, instead of 25% as was feared. Perhaps there was still hope if enemy could be kept away for few crucial weeks. The battle of Luxembourg still raged, and the small country was now completely dependant upon Spanish defenders.
'They should have been annexed to France during some Europe Universalis session.' commented unsympathetic President Manuel Azaña. 'How could the French player fail to do so?'
On home front Combat Medicine now reached level 2, reducing attrition by 10% thanks to all those pretty Spanish nurses with thermometers. Perhaps war was not so bad after all?
16 May 'the Hunn' was assaulting Allied defences all along the watchtowers...we mean along the main battle line. In this somewhat chaotic situation French, British, Spanish, Dutch and Belgian divisions mixed together in their desperation to hold the flagging line. Somehow, despite the confusion with communications, supply and staff work, the line held and most of these battles were won by Allies. Germans seemed somehow surprised by spirited Allied defences. They had expected a stroll in the park, but were now getting a black eye instead.
Many hard battles were fought along the front, most of them very bloody. Germans were defeated soundly in Ede and Eindhoven, both of which were to become bitterly disputed battlegrounds of the war. As always, Spanish commanders tried to hold the rivers, according to the original CINDARELLA plan. Thousand of German soldiers were shot on riverbanks that became killing grounds. Very soon German infantrymen did not know which they hated more; their Spanish opponents, or those Dutch rivers.
Operations SLAPDANCE and CINDARELLA 16 May. Across Low Countries shovels were swinging wildly as millions of soldiers dug for their dear lives.
In Maastrich, near the Dutch border, a major battle had occurred when five German divisions tried to dislodge Spanish-Dutch defenders from their positions. As so often, Germans lacked any armors or combiner-arms formations, and relied upon brute infantry strenght to push through. Again and again this proved ineffective. Now Spanish defenders, who were again bothered by fragmented Dutch divisions that clogged the roads without providing any help, gave brutal beating for their incredibly fanatical German opponents, but suffering high casualties at same time. If it was time for grief, it was also time for pride.
During this battle many German prisoners were taken, and sometimes intellectual conversations developed between the captured and capturers;
German prisoner;'...and I still think your flag looks gay. Red-yellow-pink tricolor is so rainbow.'
Spanish soldier:'So what? As we say in Spain, better gay than Fascists. And what about your leather boots? Not gay, eh?'
Prisoner:'What do you mean? This uniform was approved by Führer himself!'
Soldier:'That's what I mean.' (wink)
Prisoner:'Oh no, not this again. Just because our Führer hired Elton John, Village People and Freddie Mercury to perform at his birthday party does not mean he is gay. OUR FÜHRER IS NOT GAY!'
Soldier;'Sure, whatever you say. By the way, how is his wife?'
Prisoner;'Führer is not...uh...he is married to Germany. Yeah, married to Germany. That's it. Married to Germany...'
Soldier;'Good cover.'
Prisoner: 'Q _ Q'
German casualties in Holland.
By now Spanish Military Doctrine, so-called Republican Fighting Spirit (also knows as Chili Con Carne doctrine) had reached full maturity. After long theoretical and practical incubation period infantry had now reached such full understanding of tactics and logistics that they could deploy even more unfair firepower on the field, while simultaneously taking less space. It was really incredible.
Now infantry divisions had reached their practical and theoretical maximum in size and firepower, becoming huge machines of death and destruction. Almost impossibly they still had same weight, width and supply consumption as ordinary infantry divisions. Nobody could understand how 16000 heavily armed men weighted the same as 12000 lightly armed, but nobody was complaining.
As Freddie said; 'It's a kind of magic.'
Also if Germans were not developing same tactics soon, they would be at disadvantage as soon as Spanish divisions were fully reinforced with all the heavy metal they were to use from this moment onwards. Allied commanders hoped that they did not posses the same depth of infantry warfare. At least they were not doing very well.
Also terrible flaws in French strategy were revealed. Spanish officers watched in dismay as French wasted their divisions by sending them north, to hold land of absolutely no value for Allied cause. Spanish Armada had now returned to assist the struggling ground forces, and could only gape at French idiocy.
By their free will French had sent some divisions to perform a 'left hook' against German flank, or so it was thought. Result was the mixed French-Belgian divisions ended up encircled and defeated in some God-forsaken Dutch coast, which was useless to Germans anyway since Spanish fleet blocked all naval movements. It was a sad and useless sacrifice that accomplished very little. There was genuine feeling among Spanish commanders that without them, the French would probably just end up standing on their heads and shooting at wrong direction.
OPERATION SNOW WHITE update
Neither Spain nor Germany had forgotten Denmark during the fierce battles that raged through Low Countries. Constantly small skirmishes were fought and German casualties continued to spoil otherwise beautiful landscapes. But occasionally some unusually brave, or desperate, German general launched a major operation against Spanish defences, that were by now very well dug-in. Also nasty Spanish commanders had restructured the defenders with some artillery (a rare luxury in Spanish armies) so that now all five divisions could fight at same time. The results were terrible. 23 May unusually bloody battle finally ended with unusually grim harvest.
Again Hitler was shouting his head off in Berlin and demanding the immediate imprisonment or execution of his generals. None of this, however, made his soldiers more bulletproof.
Meanwhile in south there was no time to celebrate the latest victories. The Germans had finally broken through the defences of Luxembourg, forcing Spanish-French defenders to retreat after almost three weeks of intensive battles. It proved that while the armored Spanish formations were obsolete, poorly trained and nearly useless, they still suffered rather low casualties from German small-arms fire, while causing considerable pain with their machine-guns. Despite their heroic efforts Luxembourg capitulated 27 May, annexed by Reich. Alliance was shaken to the core...and hell it was. Nobody even noticed that Luxembourg was no more, and it did not give Germans any major advantages. But now Spanish defenders retreated to forest-clad hills called Bastogne...
Soon Germans followed, smelling blood. Unfortunately it was their own. Bastogne was fiercely defended by curious mixture of whatever unit available, including some garrison units transported from Spain. Nonetheless they fought determinedly against Fascist onslaught, and slowly the superior firepower begun to tell. More than 10 divisions from all countries, though mostly Spanish, refused to budge and shot all attackers so full of lead they could be used as pencils afterwards.
Those two attacking German divisions were very brave, but very suicidal. Their losses were slight considering that they attacked against ten-to-one odds.
And after three weeks of savage fighting the Belgian front was somehow secured. At least the fate of Denmark, always haunting Allied thinking, had been avoided so far. the Low Countries were shaken by sudden onslaught, but felt now much more secure behind the backs of nearly 1.5 million Allied soldiers committed there.
The CINDARELLA front 27 May.
Modern Dutch artillery ready for battle.
Historical data: The battle for Holland was part of German Fall Gelb plan and lasted from 10 May to 14 May when Dutch forces surrendered after token resistance. Holland capitulated completely after one week. Dutch attitude towards the army had been one of general neglect and their army was consequently hopelessly outclassed. Dutch lost 2,332 dead and 7,000 wounded, German losses were negligible.
May 8 1940
Allied Commanders had barely survived the celebrations after OPERATION SNOW WHITE saved Scandinavia against all odds and realistic expectations, when new disaster stroke; The Germans had attacked the Low Countries. As in Denmark, these countries had plumped new depths of gurgling idiocy by not mobilizing their armies, and were certain to capitulate as fast as Germans could drive to Amsterdam. Following the now familiar pattern, Spanish Command launched two simultaneous operations; CINDARELLA to create a defensive perimeter in Luxembourg, Belgium and Southern Holland, and SLAPDANCE to reinforce Amsterdam, which was in danger to be overrun. Generally the geography of the Pancake of Europe favored defense since major rivers Rein, Waal ja Maas formed nice, defensible fronts against the attacker. But if French-Spanish troops could not make it in time, all could be lost. Desperate rush towards to help the Dutch army begun.
Through the following weeks Luftwaffe bombed defenders strongly, despite massive air battles.
Classic portrait of German infantryman in Belgium.
In south Spanish divisions were immediately deployed to help struggling Luxembourg that had brazenly declared war on Germany. The nearest divisions were the three 'crazy' motorized Spanish divisions, including former Legion Condom (or was it Condor?) These formations were the fastest in Spanish army and they arrived 9 May to find defenders of Lux in deep trouble, or already running away. Confidently Spanish defenders opened fire on surprised Germans. The Battle of Luxembourg was to last for many bloody weeks, and many crazy Spanish divisions fought here, including 'Jabberwock', 'Mad Max' and 'Metalhead.'
In north SLAPDANCE was in full swing, and five Spanish divisions had been deployed in Amsterdam. These divisions were the infamous 'Big Iron', 'Tuco', 'Angel Eyes', 'Blondie' and 'Django.' The fate of the Dutch freedom would hang upon these divisions. The French reinforcements were arriving later, but these were not trusted by Spanish commanders.
However, soon after their deployment in Amsterdam few things became obvious, and among them was the fact that whole Dutch army was in danger of being captured. Germans had smashed the woefully unprepared Dutch defenders in few hours and now they were in full retreat, soon to engulfed by rapidly advancing motorized German divisions. Original SLAPDANCE plan was quickly altered to meet this situation and Spanish divisions were dispatched to save the Dutch army from its own stupidity.
'Tuco' and 'Angel Eyes' try to save Dutch army from encirclement. More Spanish divisions are deployed to hold rivers.
As Spanish divisions rushed through the night they were met with stragglers and fleeing civilians all with stories of incredibly fast advance of German forces, and most with bitter comments about their own government. Some seven Dutch divisions were said to be in quickly shrinking pocket ahead, and time was of the essence. Saving these divisions would go a long way to bolster Dutch morale and defenses.
But it was not to be. Brave Spanish relief force came under attack by German 36th Motorized division and were forced to defend themselves and hold the gap open for any Dutch soldiers who made it this far. Not many did. For days two Spanish divisions held the gap open in Arnhem, featuring famous That Bridge Too Far, under fierce pressure from five German divisions. Finally no more Dutch soldiers were coming, and Spanish divisions retreated to avoid useless casualties, blowing the bridges with demolition charges as they retreated. Casualties remained low so far, but majority of Dutch army could not be saved. It was estimated that some 10-12 surprised Dutch divisions were lost during the five first days of battle.
While at same time in Belgium Spanish divisions had made it to the border which they found under attack by Germans, defended by weak Belgian formations. Luckily the armies of Low Countries were at 50% strength, instead of 25% as was feared. Perhaps there was still hope if enemy could be kept away for few crucial weeks. The battle of Luxembourg still raged, and the small country was now completely dependant upon Spanish defenders.
'They should have been annexed to France during some Europe Universalis session.' commented unsympathetic President Manuel Azaña. 'How could the French player fail to do so?'
On home front Combat Medicine now reached level 2, reducing attrition by 10% thanks to all those pretty Spanish nurses with thermometers. Perhaps war was not so bad after all?
16 May 'the Hunn' was assaulting Allied defences all along the watchtowers...we mean along the main battle line. In this somewhat chaotic situation French, British, Spanish, Dutch and Belgian divisions mixed together in their desperation to hold the flagging line. Somehow, despite the confusion with communications, supply and staff work, the line held and most of these battles were won by Allies. Germans seemed somehow surprised by spirited Allied defences. They had expected a stroll in the park, but were now getting a black eye instead.
Many hard battles were fought along the front, most of them very bloody. Germans were defeated soundly in Ede and Eindhoven, both of which were to become bitterly disputed battlegrounds of the war. As always, Spanish commanders tried to hold the rivers, according to the original CINDARELLA plan. Thousand of German soldiers were shot on riverbanks that became killing grounds. Very soon German infantrymen did not know which they hated more; their Spanish opponents, or those Dutch rivers.
Operations SLAPDANCE and CINDARELLA 16 May. Across Low Countries shovels were swinging wildly as millions of soldiers dug for their dear lives.
In Maastrich, near the Dutch border, a major battle had occurred when five German divisions tried to dislodge Spanish-Dutch defenders from their positions. As so often, Germans lacked any armors or combiner-arms formations, and relied upon brute infantry strenght to push through. Again and again this proved ineffective. Now Spanish defenders, who were again bothered by fragmented Dutch divisions that clogged the roads without providing any help, gave brutal beating for their incredibly fanatical German opponents, but suffering high casualties at same time. If it was time for grief, it was also time for pride.
During this battle many German prisoners were taken, and sometimes intellectual conversations developed between the captured and capturers;
German prisoner;'...and I still think your flag looks gay. Red-yellow-pink tricolor is so rainbow.'
Spanish soldier:'So what? As we say in Spain, better gay than Fascists. And what about your leather boots? Not gay, eh?'
Prisoner:'What do you mean? This uniform was approved by Führer himself!'
Soldier:'That's what I mean.' (wink)
Prisoner:'Oh no, not this again. Just because our Führer hired Elton John, Village People and Freddie Mercury to perform at his birthday party does not mean he is gay. OUR FÜHRER IS NOT GAY!'
Soldier;'Sure, whatever you say. By the way, how is his wife?'
Prisoner;'Führer is not...uh...he is married to Germany. Yeah, married to Germany. That's it. Married to Germany...'
Soldier;'Good cover.'
Prisoner: 'Q _ Q'
German casualties in Holland.
By now Spanish Military Doctrine, so-called Republican Fighting Spirit (also knows as Chili Con Carne doctrine) had reached full maturity. After long theoretical and practical incubation period infantry had now reached such full understanding of tactics and logistics that they could deploy even more unfair firepower on the field, while simultaneously taking less space. It was really incredible.
Now infantry divisions had reached their practical and theoretical maximum in size and firepower, becoming huge machines of death and destruction. Almost impossibly they still had same weight, width and supply consumption as ordinary infantry divisions. Nobody could understand how 16000 heavily armed men weighted the same as 12000 lightly armed, but nobody was complaining.
As Freddie said; 'It's a kind of magic.'
Also if Germans were not developing same tactics soon, they would be at disadvantage as soon as Spanish divisions were fully reinforced with all the heavy metal they were to use from this moment onwards. Allied commanders hoped that they did not posses the same depth of infantry warfare. At least they were not doing very well.
Also terrible flaws in French strategy were revealed. Spanish officers watched in dismay as French wasted their divisions by sending them north, to hold land of absolutely no value for Allied cause. Spanish Armada had now returned to assist the struggling ground forces, and could only gape at French idiocy.
By their free will French had sent some divisions to perform a 'left hook' against German flank, or so it was thought. Result was the mixed French-Belgian divisions ended up encircled and defeated in some God-forsaken Dutch coast, which was useless to Germans anyway since Spanish fleet blocked all naval movements. It was a sad and useless sacrifice that accomplished very little. There was genuine feeling among Spanish commanders that without them, the French would probably just end up standing on their heads and shooting at wrong direction.
OPERATION SNOW WHITE update
Neither Spain nor Germany had forgotten Denmark during the fierce battles that raged through Low Countries. Constantly small skirmishes were fought and German casualties continued to spoil otherwise beautiful landscapes. But occasionally some unusually brave, or desperate, German general launched a major operation against Spanish defences, that were by now very well dug-in. Also nasty Spanish commanders had restructured the defenders with some artillery (a rare luxury in Spanish armies) so that now all five divisions could fight at same time. The results were terrible. 23 May unusually bloody battle finally ended with unusually grim harvest.
Again Hitler was shouting his head off in Berlin and demanding the immediate imprisonment or execution of his generals. None of this, however, made his soldiers more bulletproof.
Meanwhile in south there was no time to celebrate the latest victories. The Germans had finally broken through the defences of Luxembourg, forcing Spanish-French defenders to retreat after almost three weeks of intensive battles. It proved that while the armored Spanish formations were obsolete, poorly trained and nearly useless, they still suffered rather low casualties from German small-arms fire, while causing considerable pain with their machine-guns. Despite their heroic efforts Luxembourg capitulated 27 May, annexed by Reich. Alliance was shaken to the core...and hell it was. Nobody even noticed that Luxembourg was no more, and it did not give Germans any major advantages. But now Spanish defenders retreated to forest-clad hills called Bastogne...
Soon Germans followed, smelling blood. Unfortunately it was their own. Bastogne was fiercely defended by curious mixture of whatever unit available, including some garrison units transported from Spain. Nonetheless they fought determinedly against Fascist onslaught, and slowly the superior firepower begun to tell. More than 10 divisions from all countries, though mostly Spanish, refused to budge and shot all attackers so full of lead they could be used as pencils afterwards.
Those two attacking German divisions were very brave, but very suicidal. Their losses were slight considering that they attacked against ten-to-one odds.
And after three weeks of savage fighting the Belgian front was somehow secured. At least the fate of Denmark, always haunting Allied thinking, had been avoided so far. the Low Countries were shaken by sudden onslaught, but felt now much more secure behind the backs of nearly 1.5 million Allied soldiers committed there.
The CINDARELLA front 27 May.