Nikolai: So far, so good!
Nein: True, but I burn through so quickly, it's almost irrelevant! Of course, more oil = easier encirclements = more oil, and more oil = easier encirclements = more oil...
Gukpa: Troyes is currently being bombed by 16 bombers! The land battle itself is going fine. The First French divisions should finish in a month or so, I loaded up as them and they're building brigaded infantry divisions rather than militia. I can excuse the wait if it means quality units! Of course, given that they are French...
Migthy: Well, I wouldn't say "winning." As long as I don't make any serious mistakes, I should survive until at least 1946. I have about 16 fighter wings in Berlin and 8 in Koeln, so I hopefully can handle any strategic bombers that decide to show... provided I have oil...
foriavik: I've seen the AI use nukes before, but they tend to do strange things with them. And of course Steiner's assault will put things in order, as soon as he has enough men!
Cabinet Meeting
8:00 April 1st, Berlin.
“Finally! A meeting at a perfectly reasonable hour! You didn’t bump your head again, Mein Fuehrer?”
“Ha-ha, Bormann. Let’s just get started, I think there’s a lot to cover.”
“Right. Military first, as usual. General Guderian?”
“A lot has happened so far, most importantly, we just trapped several Soviet divisions, including seven armored divisions! But I’ll get to that later. France first:
We have 40 divisions in France (and 6 divisions guarding the Channel), facing roughly 40 Allied divisions. Former Army Group Scandinavia is redeploying to Paris at the moment, so soon we will have 49 divisions, including 14 armored or mechanized divisions. Because we have a temporary superiority, I believe we should pull von Manstein’s panzers here and launch an attack in France before the Allies have a chance to build up their forces here. We’re drawing up plans for a potential offensive, which I’ll explain shortly.”
“Excellent, Guderian! That’s the spirit!”
“…I would not have suggested such a thing a month ago. But things seem to be changing. A favorable separate peace with the Allies is possible, and from there-”
“NO :angry: ! Total victory, General!”
“…Right. Well, the next front is Italy. Kesselring?”
“Yes, yes. JACKBOOT is bogging down, so we should order a temporary stop soon. We have 40 divisions, including 8 armored or mechanized divisions. I think I can still win without reinforcements, but the troops need time to rest- right after we stop the British from encircling our army! I must apologize Mein Fuehrer, the Italians failed to inform me the British were advancing to Florence. I'm considering trying to take Ancona to prevent encirclement, and I'll definitely order troops to Florence.”
“Godspeed, Kesselring- we can’t afford to lose an entire field army!”
“I’m well aware. My apologies again, it was a novice mistake, I should have left a garrison in Florence. That concludes my report on Italy.”
“Thank you Kesselring. Now the Eastern Front. Von Rundstedt and Army Group Balkans first.”
“The situation here is quite good at the moment. We should be able to take out the Pola Pocket, as Guderian mentioned. Army Group Balkans is the second largest Army Group, only Army Group Poland is larger. I have 54 divisions, with 16 armored or mechanized divisions under my command. Operation:
Audacious was supposed to be launched April 15th, but I do not believe that is possible at the moment- more on that later. For now, our priority is wiping out the forces in Pola, and hopefully retake Zagreb, which is lost yet again. Overall, I’m surprised of our progress so far.”
“Thank you von Rundstedt. Von Manstein?”
“Army Group Danube is still defending more or less along the same line as always. We have 48 divisions, with no armored or mechanized divisions. We’ll need reinforcements in Eisenstadt, with only six divisions, if the Russians decide to attack there, we could be in serious trouble. Also, half of those troops are Croatians, and one of those is bound to disintegrate if anything stronger than a light breeze hits it. That’s all.”
“Hmmm yes. Thank you Field Marshal. Next Poland:
Army Group Poland is the largest of our army groups, with 62 divisions. Despite its size, it’s almost entirely infantry, with only 7 armored divisions. We don’t need armor here though, because this group is mostly defensive; we only attack when the Russians enter Lublin. I noticed the Soviets are moving divisions out of Lomza, so I’m considering an attack here to encircle the Soviet army in Ostroleka. Don’t count on it though. Model?”
“Army Group Prussia is probably the most powerful of our army groups, if you make that judgment based on individual unit strength, power relative to the enemy, and position. Our 45 divisions, including 7 armored /mechanized divisions, are defending on a small front against the smallest concentration of Soviet forces along the entire Eastern Front. We can easily hold this position, and if need be, we can withdraw to an even stronger position. In fact, we are considering a Summer Offensive here, if
Audacious is impossible even then. In other news, the Russians have finally retaken Leningrad. We dressed the civilian population in our uniforms so the Russians would think we were still occupying the city. The Leningraders were happy to have the autonomy from brutal Bolshevik rule for a few months.”
“Next, we’ll take a look at the Pacific Theatre. I’ve brought a special guest. Field Marshal Yamashita?”
“Thank you so much for the hospitality, General. It is so rare these days, it seems. While Germany has been struggling valiantly for victory, the Imperial Japanese Army is crushing all who oppose it!
As you can see, we have encircled one of Kai-Shek’s armies, and are close to encircling a second one:
Japanese intelligence estimates 12 divisions are trapped in southwestern Yunnan, and 18 divisions will be trapped eastern Yunnan. Why the British won’t provide supplies or refuge for those troops is a mystery. Ultimately, the glorious Empire aims to win the war in China by summer, just in time for an invasion of India! After that, an invasion of the Middle East, then Africa, then the World! MUAHAHAHAHA! Well, maybe not that last one. Finally, the invasion of New Guinea is also going excellently. We will be in control of the entire island in, to be extremely cautious, no later than two months, mostly due to the terrible terrain. We have abandoned plans for an invasion of Australia, instead we will concentrate on pulling troops from the Pacific to the mainland.”
“Thank you Field Marshal, and best of luck in your ventures. Doenitz, navy?”
“Yes, please.”
“I meant- nevermind, I can summarize it myself: Doenitz’s wolf pack was moved to Amsterdam to prevent any amphibious assaults along the Channel, and Saalwaechter’s fleet just finished transporting Army Group Scandinavia into Denmark for redeployment to France. Goering?”
“The Luftwaffe actually saw some action this month! Loehr’s tactical bombers are currently prioritized for reinforcement and upgrade, and have successfully provided ground support for Army Group Balkans. We’re also making good use of the Japanese and Chinese air forces.”
“Thank you. Usually that would conclude the military review. But, if I may, I’ve gathered some of our war plans for evaluation. First is Operation:
Audacious
Audacious is our most well-developed plan, as we have been planning for it for months now. I estimate 75 divisions in Yugoslavia and 150 in Hungary, but those are just educated guesses.
Audacious would overthrow the various Soviet puppet regimes, liberate the Ploesti oil fields, trap a huge Soviet army in Hungary, and leave us in a solid position in the South for further offensives into Ukraine or encirclement of Poland. Unfortunately, the Russians are moving forces into the region in response to our aggressive actions here. Our troops will need a long rest and multiple reinforcements before we can attack, which may be impossible. Ultimately,
Audacious is a high-risk, high-reward operation, just the kind you like, Mein Fuehrer, but it may be too risky even for you. The plan is largely the work of von Manstein and myself. Model and Doenitz are the masterminds of the next plan- Operation:
Teutonic. Model?”
“Yes, this is Operation:
Teutonic- the liberation of the Baltic States! Basically, like Operation:
Distraction,
Teutonic will make use of amphibious assaults to encircle Soviet forces.
Teutonic’s objectives are the destruction of as many Soviet forces as possible, to capture Leningrad, and to achieve a position which will allow us to launch a larger offensive into Russia itself if possible. Most likely an encirclement of Poland, but we also might try a larger drive all the way to the Black Sea, or a drive east to Moscow. Or we might just hold our positions. Either way, we’ll destroy several Soviet divisions and force them to redeploy troops north to fight us.
Teutonic is, I’d wager, the only feasible major operation we can undertake along the Eastern Front this year.”
“Thank you, Model. And that leaves us with the thus-far unnamed plan for another counteroffensive in France, which is hastily being put together as we speak:
This is only a basic outline, as work has only just begun on the plan. The primary goal is the liberation of- and destruction of Allied forces in- Normandy and Brittany, with tentative plans for a drive south to capture the various Atlantic ports. The finished plan will probably include an attack from Italy to capture Toulon. This will put us in control of all Allied ports in France, so we could just starve the Allies rather than go through the trouble of launching lightning offensives without oil. Two names we are considering are
Anaconda and
Karl Martell. That concludes this very long military review.”
“Hmmm, decisions, decisions… Bormann, what’s next?”
“Von Ribbentrop with diplomacy and trade.”
“Right. Lots of news from South America: Venezuela declared it would remain neutral, and Juan Peron overthrew the previous junta-
News regarding SNAFU: Wang Jingwei met with some dignitaries of ours. He’s looking good for a
man who died last November- When people call him a Japanese puppet, they don’t know the half of it! I’m sorry, that was terrible. Speaking of, some joker sprayed paint all over our flag-
To get to the point, we agreed to help arm their soldiers.
A little closer to home, the Romanian puppet government mocks us by calling themselves National Socialists, despite clearly being Communists.
That’s about it really. The only other major development was the death of Roosevelt and Truman’s ascension to the Presidency. We don’t know much about him, but he is as dedicated to victory as his predecessor. We suspect a Thomas Dewey will defeat him in the next elections, so Truman should be gone fairly soon anyway. That’s it for foreign affairs.”
“Thank you, Joachim, now we just need to pray Stalin or Churchill will be next! Bormann?”
“Speer is next, Mein Fuehrer. Uh, to speak, that is.”
“We are continuing our old construction, and we’ve added a few torp- :angry: Doenitz!”
“What? It wasn’t me! You probably decided to do it yourself, because submarines are the future!”
“I doubt it.”
“But submarines are stealthy, stupendous, and superb; it’s superfluous to say it sickens me to see-”
“I meant I doubt I decided to put them in the queue. Undeniably, submarines are tremendously useful, which is why we won the war years ago, of course.”
“…”
“Besides that, most of our IC is spent on consumer goods, military supplies, and reinforcements. Our manpower supply will be almost completely exhausted by the time reinforcements are finished. We need to close out a theatre, and fast, so we can gain some time to slowly replenish our reserves.”
“That’s not very good… but I’m positive Providence will see us through. That leaves Schellenburg with intelligence, right?”
“It sure does. Our intel of the Yanks:
The saddest part is,
those are overestimates. The US Navy is absolutely terrifying though, we’re gonna need a ton of subs.”
“Go away, Doenitz. Schellenburg, how is the American nuclear research going? How close is Oppenheimer to developing a bomb?”
“What do you mean?”
“Last month, Oppenheimer completed his research, you said?”
“Yeah- into advanced decryption devices.”
“…”
“My man in the Manhattan Project wanted me to tell you something-”
“…I’m going to regret this…what?”
“APRIL FOOLS!”
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“April fools… April fools… April… fools… hahahahaheheheheehoohooho! April fools! HAHA! APRIL FOOLS! HAHRHRHARHARHARDYHARHOOHOHEE!”
“I admit it was in poor taste, Mein Fuehrer, but please settle dow-”
“FOOLS IN APRIL! APRIL IN FOOLS! HAHAHAHHAHA!”
“Well, at least you’re… uhhm… :blink: happy.”
A few insane laughs later…
“Well, at least the Americans are still a step away from nuclear weapons. And I’m sure that little outburst of mine will traumatize you enough for me to consider it payback.”
“I definitely won’t be sleeping at night for a while now, Mein Fuehrer, so I’d say so.”
“APRIL FOOLS, Schellie! I’m docking your pay; I hope you’re happy.”
“Gentlemen, please, the schedule!”
“Uggh, what use is it being dictator, if you still have to follow the timetable! Please, continue Schellenburg.”
“Riiiight:
Between the US and the UK, the Brits are actually the stronger of the two. And they actually know how to fight! Not much to say besides that. The USSR next:
The USSR is a monster, of course. The armor estimates are a little low, but beyond that these figures are fairly accurate. Once we wipe out the Pola Pocket, I’d even say these numbers are near the truth. I also have here figures on the Japanese and Chinese armies, provided by Field Marshal Yamashita:
Our allies in the Pacific are in great shape… if you don’t count the Imperial Japanese Navy of course. Japan still has plenty of convoy ships available, but they are running dangerously low on escorts, and they’re not really in a position to challenge American naval supremacy. And that leaves the technology report:
Heisenberg is nearly halfway done his research! That means it takes 4 months to construct reactors, and 8 months for the nuclear research. Ergo, Heisenberg’s research should complete approximately August 16th, and a second stage reactor will be ready December 16th. I doubt it’ll work out quite like that in reality, but it should be close. Zuse is three-quarters done with his research, and everyone else is moving expediently. That concludes my report.”
“Thank you all, gentlemen. I want you to continue planning for the Summer Offensive- that doesn’t mean slacking off in the spring either! You’re all dismissed, and happy hunting.”
-End Meeting-
• I’ve decided to retain military control over the Japanese for the time being. I might return control once India’s in Axis hands, but I’m not sure. At that point, the Axis should basically be impossible to eject from Asia. We’ll have a puppet China and India with 80-100 IC each and bottomless manpower.
• My grand strategy here is pretty much have Japan win the war for me! It’s a shame they won’t declare war on the Soviets.
• The Doenitz pic returns, with a funny still from Downfall as well!
• Anyone else notice the minister of security never contributes to any of these meetings?
• I’ve been planning that April fools prank since zig_zac’s American cabinet meeting! Not sure why Oppenheimer was researching cryptography rather than nuclear physics, given the US should have better tech teams for it.
