sudo -rm -rf -1
[REDACTED], New Xichen, Mayapan - April 3, 2014, 9:00 AM (Mayan time)
One would never expect to find the Lone Gunmen in a small apartment on a quiet street in one of the outer districts of New Xichen on the second-largest island of Mayapan, but then again, nobody would look for them there, so that was where they went to continue their work. Thirteen years after they went into exile, they remained as active as ever. A bald Ragnar Biers, who had exchanged his usual suit for casual jeans and a Scandinavian hockey team jersey, adjusted the ancient 1980s-era satellite dish in front of the boarded-up window. A contacts-wearing Rudolf Froniker checked the activity of the private server in the corner. Reinhard Lander, his hair dyed black and cut short, typed on his computer, checking to see if his VPN was still working. Then he navigated to their blog and turned on a camcorder. Rudolf and Ragnar crowded around him.
“Hello, everybody, on this most patriotic of days that is Restoration Day,” Reinhard said, “You know who we are. We’re here at our regularly scheduled time to tell you the truth.”
“Now, before we get started, our usual disclaimer,” Rudolf said, “This is an encrypted connection so you won’t be able to track our location. So don’t try anything, RSB. Or we’ll leak more of your files. Yeah, you can thank us for at least some of them.”
“Anyways, let’s get started with our daily blog post,” Ragnar said, “Our concluding update in our current series, the corruption of our glorious government.”
“It comes down to this,” Reinhard said, “It's a mainstream media lying to you about life, liberty and our Augustinian rights. This is all an illusion. All that prosperity and good economy you hear them parroting about? Lies designed to lure you into a false sense of complacency.”
“Everything has been leading up to this moment,” Rudolf said, “Chancellor Schröder let November 9 happen as a warmup to World War IV. As we detailed in Part 45, this is all part of the conspiracy dating back to the UFO crash at Agadir in 1947.”
“November 9 was allowed to happen because the military-industrial complex wanted greater funding and a looser leash to test out its new toys around the world,” Ragnar said, “A state of perpetual war creates problem-reaction-solution scenarios to distract, enrage and enslave Roman citizens at home with tools like the Imperial Patriot Act and the Imperial Defense Against Barbarians Act, which abridged the Augustinian Code in the name of imperial security.”
“The militarization of police forces in cities across the Reich has expanded the reach of the surveillance state into our homes and communities,” Reinhard said, “The concurrent expansion of private prisons answering to not law enforcement but wealthy corporations has brought on a wave of unjustified and racially-biased arrests and incarcerations while crime has held steady and even decreased in some parts of the Reich. This is practice for newly militarized police departments to carry out mass arrests and incarcerations of political dissidents, ethnic and religious minorities, and those who pose a threat to the conspiracy’s dominance.”
“The corporate takeover of food and agriculture, pharmaceuticals and health care, especially the military, is to fulfill clandestine agendas, to fatten, dull, sicken and control a populace already consumed by consumerism and the end of the Cold War,” Rudolf said, “To eliminate any resistance to the takeover. These corporations are proxies of the government, which will use such proxies to obtain access to your phone, collect your data, monitor your whereabouts, all with impunity. This data will be used against you when the conspiracy strikes and the final takeover begins. But we can fight back, as we and the other leakers did. Expose them for what they truly are, and they will crumble.”
“That’s all we have for today,” Ragnar said, “Tune in tomorrow at the usual time for the beginning of a new series, titled ‘Scheel and you: Or how the Murderous Pacifist’s influence still lingers in government'. Thank you all for listening, and stay vigilant! Fight the future!”
Reinhard stopped recording and put tape over the camera. Then he uploaded the video and logged out.
“That’s it?” Rudolf said. “I was expecting more.”
“Yeah, that was just under a minute,” Reinhard said, “A minute of rehashing old talking points.”
“It’s a conclusion, guys,” Ragnar said, “We’re supposed to rehash the old points so we can draw the lines between them. Tomorrow’s video should be at least five minutes, I hope.”
Rudolf sat on a chair and put his head in his hands.
“Goddamnit,” he said, “What happened to us? Why the frak are we here?”
“We’re here because we were on the right track,” Reinhard said, “That’s why they ran us out of the country. Thank God for no extradition.”
“He has a point, Reinhard,” Ragnar said, “Thirteen years ago, we had a proper office, an official monthly magazine, and some really cool gadgets. Now we have none of that.”
“Hell, most of the stuff we do can be done by some random 400-pound hacker in his bedroom!” Rudolf said. “I miss the old days.”
“I miss them too, guys,” Reinhard said, “But we can’t go back. Not now. They’ll kill us. Because we’re onto something here. We’ve been investigating Sentinel for 13 years. We’re getting close, I just know it.”
“Close to what?” Ragnar said. “Getting us martyred to install some terrible crown prince or start the next 11/9 or World War IV? You know what happens to people named Ragnar when someone wants a martyr.”
The computer chimed, cutting everybody off at that moment. Ragnar and Rudolf looked at Reinhard suspiciously.
“I thought you blocked all incoming messages,” Rudolf said.
“I did,” Reinhard said.
The computer chimed again.
“Is it a notification?” Ragnar said. “Linux always does that.”
“I thought that was Windows,” Rudolf said.
“Well, obviously not, because we use the superior OS,” Ragnar said.
“No, I turned that off too,” Reinhard said.
They slowly turned to look at the computer. A popup had appeared on the screen.
“Remember Mali?” Rudolf said. “We barely got out in time.”
“We’re close to a small airport, and I paid off a pilot,” Reinhard said, “If the RSB finds us, we’ll head off to the CSA.”
“Oh boy, always wanted to try out some alligator burgers,” Ragnar said, rolling his eyes.
Reinhard looked closer at the popup. It was a message.
How do you do, fellow hackers?
“This sounds familiar,” Reinhard said, “I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
“The virus in Mali sounded familiar,” Rudolf said.
“It was literally just the Malian prince scam!” Ragnar said. “And we didn’t even fall for it! The Mansa doesn’t need money!”
“But you had the nerve to respond to the scammer calling them a dummkopf!” Rudolf said.
The computer chimed again, and another popup appeared.
“This is exactly what happened in Mali,” Ragnar said, “They always want confirmation we’re here to begin tapping our phone lines and internet. Then they send in the Excubitors. Not just any SWAT team, the frakking Excubitors!”
“How did we even escape them?” Rudolf said.
“I have no idea,” Ragnar said.
DAMNIT I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
All three looked at the screen again.
“Who’s ‘I’?” Rudolf said.
“Beats me,” Ragnar said.
Without thinking, Reinhard clicked “Yes.” The screen went dark, and Ragnar cursed.
“It’s starting!” he shouted, running into the adjacent room and throwing clothes into a suitcase. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”
“What did you do?” Rudolf demanded.
“I don’t know,” Reinhard said, “I should send a telegram to the airfield.”
Random pixels lit up in varying shades of white and gray, slowly organizing themselves into larger and larger shapes and taking the form of a woman’s face. As Reinhard watched, the face grew more detailed, and he slowly recognized her.
“It’s—me,” said Skye, their old friend, in a distorted and artificial-sounding voice, “Need—your—help.”
“For what?” Reinhard said.
“Can’t—see!” Skye said.
Reinhard reached for the tape covering the webcam, but Rudolf looked at him.
“Are you crazy?!” he said.
Reinhard took off the tape anyways and turned on the webcam. Skye’s image quickly locked eyes with Reinhard.
“Help—me,” she said, “In—danger.”
“What do you mean?” Reinhard said.
“No—time!” Skye said. “In—danger.”
“Yes, I got that the first time,” Reinhard said.
“I say we pull the plug and get out of here!” Ragnar said, bursting back into the room with a packed suitcase in hand.
“No—you—in—danger!” Skye said.
There was a buzzing noise out the window. Rudolf got up and walked over to the window, peering through the boards.
“Frak, there’s a drone outside,” he said, “I think it got my face.”
Shots rang out, shattering the glass. All of the shots passed over Rudolf’s short body and impacted the far wall, some of the bullets ricocheting off and destroying the computer.
“Are you kidding me?!” Reinhard said. “It took me 5000 marks to build that thing!”
The drone continued firing, raking the room in bullets. Taking as much stuff as they could and stuffing it into backpacks, the Lone Gunmen made their way to the door and ran into the hallway. As they ran down the stairs, they heard a loud roar and an explosion, followed by the stairwell shaking violently.
“What was that?!” Rudolf said.
“Stop asking me stuff I don’t know!” Reinhard said.
They reached the lobby and ran outside, where a small crowd of locals had gathered. They talked in hushed voices and pointed up at the Lone Gunmen’s apartment, which was now a smoldering crater. Reinhard could just make out a military drone flying away in the distance. The smaller commercial drone lay on the ground, destroyed.
“I told you so,” Ragnar said.
“I need to send a message,” Reinhard said, taking out his phone.
“Are you crazy?” Rudolf said. “They’ll trace it!”
“I’m taking that risk,” Reinhard said, “I can’t reach the typewriter, so it’ll have to do.”
Anders’ and Diana’s house, Palation - 6:00 PM (Imperial Standard Time)
Diana took another bite from the beef stew on her plate. Theresa Novak, a dark-haired woman Diana’s age, sat across from her, looking on, while Anders and Olga ate their food and watched the two women talk with each other.
“How do you like it?” Theresa said.
“Oh, it’s wonderful,” Diana said, “Reminds me of my childhood.”
“Mom’s recipe for guláš stew,” Theresa said, “She used to cook it for all of us.”
“I remember!” Diana said. “Oh, wait…now I also remember that time your dad did the polka.”
“Please don’t remind me,” Theresa said.
“I have to agree,” Olga said.
“Oh, I’m suddenly interested,” Anders said.
“Long story short, Olga’s and Theresa’s dads got drunk and danced to a polka,” Diana said, “I think Olga’s mom got it on tape. Me, I was hiding behind a couch, so good luck trying to find incriminating footage.”
“Fortunately, I’ve had that tape classified at the highest levels,” Olga said, “Good luck finding it if you’re lucky enough to get the clearance.”
“Well, thank you so much for bringing the stew over,” Diana said, “I hope you liked the food Anders and I have.”
“The steak is something to die for,” Theresa said, in between mouthfuls of steak, “You guys should open up a restaurant.”
“I’d be immediately sued by the Arcadia,” Anders said.
“And we’re kind of busy already,” Diana said.
“Oh, still in the Athanatoi?” Theresa said. “Guess you are your mother’s daughter.”
“This guy won’t let me quit,” Diana said, playfully jabbing Anders, “Otherwise I’d have opened a mechanics shop by now.”
“A mechanics shop, really?” Theresa said.
“Yeah,” Diana said, “Like to tinker with cars and bikes on the side. Probably because of Mom’s old motorcycle. And you? What do you do?”
“Well, my boys take up most of the time,” Theresa said, looking at her kids sitting on the couch playing on their Rentiantang DSes, “Vincent and I are still with
Die Zeiten, so we do some assignments every now and then. Nothing big.”
“Interesting,” Anders said.
At that moment, the doorbell rang.
“Please excuse me,” Diana said.
She walked into the foyer and opened the door, revealing Angela waiting outside.
“Angie,” Diana said, “You finally showed up.”
“Evening,” Angela said, “Sorry for interrupting your little reunion, but I can’t stay here for long. It’s urgent.”
“What do you mean?” Diana said.
“About a few minutes ago, I got word of a drone strike in New Xichen,” Angela said, “Appears to be unauthorized. Targeted a residential area. Fourteen dead.”
“And you’re telling me this why?” Diana said.
“Because a minute later, I received a message from Reinhard Lander,” Angela said, “Who says he and his friends were the targets.”
“You’re kidding me,” Diana said.
“No, I’m not,” Angela said.
“Are you sure it’s them?” Diana said. “We haven’t heard from them in a while.”
Angela took out her phone. “I have a video here.”
“Lander?” Anders said, walking over. “The Lone Gunmen?”
“Apparently,” Angela said.
She played the video for them to watch. The Lone Gunmen’s faces appeared, with the still smoldering apartment building in the background.
“Guys, it’s us,” Reinhard said, “I know it’s been a while, but it’s urgent. It’s been a weird couple of minutes we’re having here.”
“Yeah, someone ordered a drone strike on us,” Ragnar said, “What are we, Nochtli?”
“We got out in time, thanks to a warning,” Rudolf said, “A weird message telling us to get out right before the attack.”
“I just found out you guys are back in business,” Reinhard said, “You guys have to find out who’s behind this. We can’t share more like this. Don’t respond to this message. Contact us on the emergency line. You know which one. Have to go.”
The video ended.
“What was that?” Anders said.
“Just as confused as you are,” Angela said, “Mind if I step inside?”
“Sure,” Diana said.
Angela followed Anders and Diana inside. Alex looked up from his game.
“Hi, Aunt Angie,” he said.
“Hi Alex,” Angela said, “How are you doing?”
“The flying blue shell got me again!” Alex complained.
“Well next time you should be the one to throw it!” Olga said.
As Anders replayed the video, Diana turned on the TV and tuned to the local news channel. The camera was filming an aerial view of New Xichen, with a small column of smoke off to the side from where the Lone Gunmen’s apartment was.
“…appears to have been a drone strike,” the reporter said, “Details are still coming in. We aren’t sure how many were killed or who was the target. Chancellor Rak is expected to make a public statement soon…”
Angela walked into the dining room, and Theresa got up and walked over to her.
“Angela Hansen, right?” she said.
“Yeah,” Angela said, “You must be Theresa Novak.”
“That’s me,” Theresa said.
“I have to say, you’re nothing like your brother,” Angela said, “I mean that as a compliment.”
“I haven’t heard from Pavel in almost 20 years,” Theresa said, “Guess it’s better that way. So Diana tells me you were in Vienna with my mom, right?”
“Yes, that was me,” Angela said, “I prefer not to talk about it.”
“Oh, no worries,” Theresa said, looking at Olga, “I’ve just finished a long conversation with Olga about that earlier.”
“Your mother died a hero,” Angela said, “That’s what I’m certain about.”
“Say, what about your mother?” Theresa said. “Magda Hansen? That lawsuit of hers is still making headlines.”
“It’s a complicated matter,” Angela said, “Dad’s still recovering, Mom’s away all the time talking with her lawyers, and Brad is downsizing the Constantinople office after the RSB leak fallout, as you know. I don’t want to make it worse. Especially since you’re, well…”
“Oh, this is off the record,” Theresa said, “Of course. If you don’t feel comfortable, that’s fine.”
Anders rushed into the dining room.
“Angie, we need to head back to the office, now,” he said.
“What?” Angela said.
“I think we have a new case,” Anders said.
“A new case?” Angela said.
“I mean, you finished dinner, right?” Anders said.
“If you count takeout curry as dinner, yeah,” Angela said, “Let’s go. Nice seeing you, Theresa.”
As they headed out the door and to the Impala, Diana ran after them.
“Where are you guys going?” she said.
“We have a case,” Anders said, “I’ll be back in a couple hours.”
They got in the Impala, and Angela drove off.
