The Artifact, Part 1
Cologne, the Reich - May 27, 2010, 10:00 PM
Joe fiddled with his tool kit, looking for a pickaxe. He stood up and turned to the family he and his accomplices had bound and gagged. To make them more comfortable, he turned on the TV. Downstairs, his accomplices Dietmar and Bastian dug a hole in the basement with shovels.
“You know, we'd get through this foundation a lot quicker with that pickaxe,” Dietmar said, “Where's your dumb cousin?”
“He ain't dumb,” Bastian said, “And don't worry about him. Just keep working.”
They dug out a small black metal box and climbed out of the hole.
“That was faster than I expected,” Bastian said.
“What do you think's in it?” Dietmar said.
“Ain't our job to think,” Bastian said, “It's our job to dig.”
“We're getting paid a lot of money for this,” Dietmar said, “Tens of thousands of marks. It's got to be something valuable.”
“That's exactly the kind of thinking that found us trouble in Bavaria,” Bastian said.
“Yeah?” Dietmar said. “We made a lot of money in Bavaria.”
“Maybe just a peek,” Bastian said, opening the box.
The lightbulb above their heads shattered, and both men went into a trance, bleeding from their noses and ears. Joe ran down to the basement and found his accomplices catatonic. He took the box from Bastian’s hands and closed it. Running upstairs, he found the family also catatonic. Panicking, he fled the house with the box still in his hands.
Sebastian Thomas’s lair, [REDACTED] - 11:00 PM
Sebastian Thomas handed Angelalt a thick file.
“I noticed you had trouble over the last two weeks,” he said, “So I compiled everything you need to help with your new identity. Agent Angela Hansen, joined the X-Division in December 1992, all relevant case files there, none of that Sentinel nonsense, just deflect if Anders asks. You’ll also find files on the Humboldt family, Kurtz, your father, Wilhelm Tesla, Kirova, and Frank. Also those Lone Gunmen terrorists, don’t ask why.”
“Where did you get this?” Angelalt said. “Why didn’t you give this to me sooner?”
“I've been over here since you were in high school, and I've cultivated a lot of resources,” Sebastian said, “And you never asked for it. Anything you need, just ask.”
He handed Angelalt a thick book titled “A History of Pop Culture.”
“That's your homework,” he said, “It'll help familiarize you with this world, since you almost blew your cover last Monday when you said Leonardo DiCaprio starred in
Titanic. Also, you need to work on your accent. Now, if you can move your hair to the side.”
Angelalt brushed aside her hair, while Sebastian took out a handheld laser and eliminated the last traces of her tattoo.
“I can’t believe I missed some of it last time,” he said.
Angelalt flipped through the book and was immediately stumped.
“Who’s Bone-o?” she asked.
“It’s Bono, actually,” Sebastian said, “He’s a musician.”
“Is he good?” Angelalt said.
“One of the few I like on this side,” Sebastian said, “Part of a group called U-2 or something.”
“Well, he's easy on the eyes,” Angelalt said.
“Careful,” Sebastian said, “Their side may be alluring, but don't be taken in by it. They started the war, remember? Don’t let ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ convince you otherwise. There’s an entire case file on that song, something about an evil AI, if you can believe it.”
“You don't have to remind me, I hate that song,” Angelalt said, “Now did you do what I told you to do?”
“I hired a team and sent it to the site, yes,” Sebastian said.
“Your usual men?” Angelalt said.
“No, I don't want to burn my resources,” Sebastian said, “Does that meet with your approval?”
“I don't care how long you've been here,” Angelalt said, “This is my operation, remember, and you work for me.”
Walter’s lab, Strasburg - May 28, 2010, 8:00 AM
Diana tossed a copy of
Die Zeiten on the table.
“‘Tesla Dynamic under Wilhelm Tesla was known for tackling the most advanced technological problems facing our generation’,” she read, “‘He will long be remembered as one of our country's leading visionaries’."
“It's a bit generic, don't you think?” Anders said.
“He was my best friend,” Walter said, “Wherever he is, he'll be very disappointed. Also, we’re low on butter.”
Olga sighed and walked off. “I’ll get it.”
“I’m surprised they took two weeks to announce his death,” Anders said.
“Mina wanted to be sure he was dead and wasn’t in yet another parallel universe,” Diana said.
They walked over to a table where Erich and Anna stood, looking at partial schematics of Walternate’s machine which Anna had drawn from memory.
“And you think this is what, a doomsday machine?” Erich said.
“Well, Walternate said it was very powerful ancient technology,” Anna said, “He spent the last few years looking for the machine's component pieces.”
“But he's finished assembling it?” Erich said.
“No,” Anna said, “He was missing several of them. Including one very important one. Me.”
“Are you sure this is accurate?” Diana said. “You can power and control this machine?”
“The device seem to need a specific human interface, and its components responded directly to me during testing,” Anna said.
“If that's true, if Walternate needs you to operate this weapon…” Anders said.
“We know he has agents on this side,” Anna said, “If he wanted me back, I think they would have made a play already. There has to be some other plan.”
“Anna, these cacao beans, they're inedible,” Walter said, holding up a bag of cacao beans, “Gene will never be able to digest them.”
“She's a cow, Walter,” Anna said, “She could probably digest the frying pan.”
“What is he doing?” Erich asked.
“Oh, you don't want to know,” Anders said.
“I'm trying to make chocolate milk,” Walter said anyways, “Or rather, I'm trying to make the cow make chocolate milk.”
“Damnit, Walter, it doesn’t work that way,” Anders said.
“Walter, do you have any idea why this machine would or could be configured for Anna and why it would respond to her?” Erich said.
“I know this machine is dangerous,” Walter said.
“Which is why we need to understand it,” Erich said, "If it is indeed a threat—”
“—then to ignore it would be irresponsible,” Walter said, "I've heard that argument before. That's what we told Neumann when we discovered the Angeloi were working on a bomb. And how do you think he slept after his little invention had killed millions in a fraction of a second? I need to go back to the market. Olivenöl, we need to go to the market.”
Angelalt walked into the lab.
“Morning,” she said.
“Do you need anything at the market?” Walter asked.
“No, thank you,” Angelalt said.
Walter and Olga left the lab.
“Anna, we’ve all been through a lot, but if this is the threat we think it is, the General Staff thinks it is, we need Walter focused,” Erich said.
“But what if he's right?” Anna said. “What if we shouldn't be working on this thing?”
“No,” Angelalt said, “We should figure out what this thing is, so we can counter it.”
Anders stared at her, confused. Angelalt shrugged.
“The best defense is a good offense,” she said, “Also, we have a case.”
Cologne - 10:00 AM
Kurtz led the X-Division team into the living room, where the bodies of the dead residents were still tied to their chairs. Forensic analysts took pictures of them, while other police officers and Athanatoi agents combed the area for more evidence.
“The neighbor found 'em a few hours ago,” Kurtz said, “Medical examiner puts the time of death around ten last night."
“What are you thinking?” Angelalt asked Anders.
“Nothing,” Anders said, “Just taking it in.”
“Walter, any thoughts?” Diana asked.
“Reminds me of Monet's
Water Lilies,” Walter said.
“The painting?” Angelalt said.
“It's a pastel,” Anders said.
“Look at the blood,” Olga said, pointing at a small pool of dried blood under the chairs, “It's a shade lighter than ordinary.”
“It's mixed with something else,” Walter said, “Possibly spinal fluid.”
“So where are the men who tied them up?” Angelalt asked.
They walked down to the basement, where medical examiners stood next to the still-standing bodies of Dietmar and Bastian.
“Neither of them had ID,” Kurtz said, “Techs are taking prints.”
“Seem to be in a vegetative trance before they expired,” Walter said.
“So you've seen something like this before?” Anna said.
“No,” Walter said, “Nostradamus is said to have died standing up, but I highly doubt that someone who predicted his own death wouldn't have laid down.”
“But you're saying whatever did this didn't kill them right away,” Kurtz said.
“It’s just a hypothesis, but we are yet to find our rosebud, the elusive clue that will unlock this entire mystery,” Walter said.
“So has anyone located what they were after?” Angelalt said.
“We don't even know what they were after,” Kurtz said.
“Beware of buried treasure, huh?” Anders said.
“We're thinking there was a third thief who took whatever they dug up,” Diana said.
“Unless, of course, this buried treasure had legs of its own and ran away,” Walter said, “Wouldn't that be just delightful?”
“Rod no,” Olga said.
“Any leads on the third man?” Angelalt said.
“No, not yet,” Kurtz said.
Sebastian’s lair - 1:00 PM
Angelalt return to the secret base and found Sebastian casually staring at lines of scrolling code on a computer.
“I was just in Cologne,” she said, “We got a problem. Your little plan wasn't so foolproof. The device was supposed to be there, right? Well, it wasn't. One of your men must have taken it. Two of your men died like you planned, but the other one survived and took the device.”
“I only hired two men,” Sebastian said.
Angelalt showed him a crime-scene photo of Dietmar’s and Bastian’s bodies.
“That's them, yeah,” Sebastian said, "If there were three, all three should be dead. No one can withstand that thing."
“Well, someone did, and we need to find him,” Angelalt said.
Walter’s lab
Bastian’s brain made a squishy-popping noise as Walter pulled it out of his head.
“I’ve done a lot of stuff in the KGB, but that just creeps me out,” Olga said, “I don’t know if anything will top that.”
“Really?” Walter said. “I always found it oddly comforting.”
“Yep, that topped it,” Olga said, rolling her eyes, “Why do I even bother?”
“I thought this was Angie’s specialty,” Diana said.
“Well, she’s busy,” Anders said, “Give her time. She’s still a little rattled.”
“Uh, Walter, your tie,” Olga said, pointing at Walter’s tie, “I, uh…”
“Oh,” Walter said, “I think I have a little bit of brain on it.”
He licked it. “No, it’s raspberry jam.”
Olga stormed off. “This is ridiculous.”
Anna walked into the lab.
“Walter, it's time to go,” Anna said.
“Maybe I'm overdressed,” Walter said, scrubbing his tie, “Maybe I should change anyway.”
“Walter, you look fine,” Diana said.
“No, I don't think I can do this,” Walter said.
“Walter, it’ll be fine,” Anders said, “We’ll be with you. You look great.”
Walter nervously smiled.
