Obersalzberg, 31 December 1935
It was getting dark. One of the guards had flipped the light on, so Hitler could continue to work in his study. There was much to be done. Earlier this year he had started the rearmament, breaking the Versailles Treaty. No-one laid anything in his way: the road to expansion was once again open for Germany. But how to proceed? The coming year would be crucial for the German course in history. Suddenly the light bulb started to flicker. He looked up from the papers on his desk. Just as he was about to call the guards to ask what's going on, he saw strange blue lightning flashing through the room. A few books caught fire, the light bulb exploded. Some strange wind blew his papers away. Suddenly a man-sized blue egg appeared. Stunned the führer awed at this marvellous sight. The shell quickly dissolved in flames, revealing a naked man. His body was perfectly shaped: not even the finest athletes possessed such muscles...
A strange man arrives in Hitler's study.
As the man rose, two guards rushed in.
Guard 1: Herr führer, are you... Oh no, not another one! I'm getting sick of these time travellers!
Guard 2: What the... No, wait, Jürgen, what are you doing? Don't shoot him - he's naked and unarmed! We could capture and interrogate him. Stop it! No, you...
Jürgen: What have you done? Now the bullet just scraped his head. Those time travellers are sneaky. Even naked they can be very dangerous! You're fairly new, while I've been
battling them at herr führer's doorstep for years now. Look! He's using his water canon to extinguish the fire. Who knows what he'll do next with it.
Guard 2: ...
Hitler: Shut up, both of you. Now, who are you and why did you came here, interrupting my New Year's Eve study?
Naked man: I'm... I'm not sure. That bullet must have hit a vital microchip. I know that I'm a cybernetic organism from the future to help someone govern their country through the coming years, bringing them to great power.
Hitler: Then you must have been send to help my Germany.
Naked man: Looking at my arrival spot there's a 83 percent probability that's correct. I'll switch to the German program then, and help you govern Germany's power and conquer Europe. Therefore you can call me...
The Governator.
Hitler: And why would I listen to you?
Governator: Because my perfectly shaped muscles say so. And because I'm Austrian too. Can't you hear my outrageous accent?
Jürgen: Don't trust him! You can't trust a man who... Wait... Did he just poop out a capsule containing clothes?
Hitler: Actually, this Governator has made two valid points. My fellow Austrian, please enlighten me on how I should I proceed the coming year.
After the Governator had put on his clothes, Hitler took him to another room - one which wasn't ruined by the hot entrance his guest had made.
Governator: Before we can proceed to plan the future, we should have a look at the current situation of Germany. Let's start with your intelligence.
Hitler: Ah, yes, my pride. I've send spies all across the globe and established a vast network.
Governator: It's crap.
Hitler: I'm sorry?
Governator: It's totally crap.
Hitler: How dare you? You... you...
Governator: Listen to my muscles! They say it's so much crap, I could poop it out like I did with my clothes. You must immediately stop sending reinforcements across your borders, and tell the spies who are currently there to focus on counter-espionage. Before we do anything else, we must first terminate all foreign spies, especially the ones in our own country.
Then we can do the good stuff.
Hitler: That makes sense in way. But why not send any reinforcements?
Governator: I'll get back on that. Just
do it noooow.
All spies across the globe were told to terminate the local spy networks, while they would receive no reinforcements for now.
Governator: The next thing to do is change some laws.
Hitler: But we don't have enough money to put new laws into effect!
Governator: Then we'll do that later this year. But at least we need to change some of your cabinet members. Werner von Blomberg should be terminated and replaced by Hjalmar Schacht. He has some pretty good ideas on how to raise the German industrial capacity. Also, give herr Frick a new job: he can do so much more as head of Intelligence than as minister of security. And finally, Goebbels should do that security job.
Hitler: I'm not sure if I can trust Wilhelm Frick as head of Intelligence. What intelligent remarks can he make, after all?
Herr Frick: If I play your speeches on a gramophone at double speed, you sound like Donald Duck.
Hitler: I'm not... Wait, where did you come from?
Herr Frick: No-one expects the German Gestapo!
The new cabinet will lead Germany to glory.
Governator: Let's get back to business. We should next review the research projects assigned to your scientist. But first, let's assign the leadership you have available.
Hitler: My leadership is impeccable!
Governator: That might be so, but still it's limited. You should invest
4 in espionage, to train a lot of spies. Also, you should invest
4.8 in diplomacy: we'll need that 4 for some diplomatic projects I'll get back to, and the rest will be needed to train new and young diplomats.
Hitler: You spoke about research...
Governator: Yes: we start with
17 points in leadership: as your leadership grows over time, we will raise it with whole points along the road. And the rest will go into officer training.
Hitler: That's not much.
Governator: Well, you can't have everything. But now that we've assigned 17 points to research, we can do 17 projects at the same time. It is very important to focus on certain aspects and specialise in them, instead of widening our view.
Herr Frick: That's what I was about to say. My dazzling brilliance is obviously rubbing off on you.
Hitler: Are you still here? Go! And do some... Intelligent intelligence stuff.
Governator: Do you have any research requests?
Hitler: Well, I'd like to fly very fast to England and blow the entire island up.
Governator: That means a focus on nuclear research and rocket engines... Theorising about them should help as well, but we shouldn't ponder on anything else. For the rocket science you'll need some test sites first: we'll get back to that as soon as possible. Also you should invest as much as possible in education and computing in every kind of way, both mechanical and electronical. And please, make some effort with industrial production and efficiency.
Herr Frick: You've assigned seven projects yet: what do you want to do with the other ten?
Hitler: Why are you still here? Guards!
Jürgen: Yes?
Hitler: Why is this man still here?
Jürgen: Because he's no time traveller, herr führer.
Hitler: *sight*
Governator: Herr Frick did raise an interesting question. The other ten projects need to be dedicated to military and doctrine projects. At this point we should already decide what kind of army we need, since focussing will bring us more benefit than spreading out our resources. First the armours. There are four types: light, normal, heavy and super heavy. That last category is totally impractical and not worth the research. Light is very fast, but also weak. Heavy has not that much of a benefit over normal, so it should be clear: we need to focus our research on normal armour, and assigning four research projects to that is a testimony to our dedication towards this type of warfare.
Hitler: I like the smell of armour in the morning.
Governator: You'll also need good infantry, and more importantly, you'll need paratroopers. For now we'll invest 4 research projects into infantry, so we can gain access to paratroopers. But we won't research ahead of time yet. We'll share the research in this with our investments in naval technology. For our navy we want to focus on fleets made of battleships and destroyers, since they share the same doctrines together.
Hitler: Why would we need a big fleet?
Governator: To crush, or at least hold a bay, the Royal navy when our troops make a landing in England, of course.
Hitler: Ah, yes! Conquest of England... Ow yes, I like that. But wait, you spoke of doctrines: there are still two available technology slots.
Governator: We'll use them to improve our spearhead doctrines. This is the most important, since armours and blitzkrieg will be our strength. But we shouldn't neglect other doctrines, like the ones for our fleet, as well. We'll do that later on.
Seventeen different research projects have been assigned, and the future of the army has been planned as well.
Governator: Now we'll have a look at the production and industrial capacity.
Hitler: I'm proud to say that Germany is one of the leading industrial countries in the world.
Governator: It's not enough.
Hitler: Excuse me?
Governator: It's not enough.
Hitler: You already said that. Why?
Governator: Once the world has gone to war, you'll need every drop of industrial juice you can get. So for the coming two years, you'll need to dedicate 80% of your production Industrial Capacity, IC, to building more factories. In our case, we need to start building factories on 20 different places: with due time this will increase.
Hitler: Alright, but what to build with the other 20% left? Should I already start with training some infantry? We'll obviously need a lot of them.
Governator: Negative. We shouldn't train any land units before the new laws are enacted in a few months. Even better, we should hold off on units for the entire year, and invest all in increasing our industry and rocket sites. After that we should train one unit of infantry: more if we've got IC to spare. Building armour should only start once we can make medium sized ones. For now we should concentrate on building a rocket test site, which will help our rocket science enormously, and ships and aircrafts. Especially those battleships take a very long time to complete, but we shouldn't start building them before our technology in that field has advanced well enough.
Hitler: It's a good thing the warves were already building some ships.
Governator: Yes, indeed. But for our rocket test site we nibbled some IC from our upgrade potential, so once those ships are done, our free IC should go there. After that we'll focus on more ships and aircrafts.
Hitler: You haven't told me yet which aircraft you'd prefer to build.
Governator: At least a few transport planes, to bring our future paratroopers to key locations, and a lot of interceptors to intercept bombers from the enemy. Multi-role fighters are also very good for bombing runs, while sharing their technologies with the interceptors. But they are not our top priority. We'll build them later on, if we ever get to that point.
Even tough my upgrade capability is lacking at the moment, I invest much in production and should catch up pretty fast.
Governator: Finally we come to diplomacy. Remember that 4 points of leadership I needed you to invest daily? They are needed to influence two countries at the time. We should start with the US, which will take all our effort, and also focus on Japan for the beginning. Once they are under our wings, we can focus on influencing other countries towards the Axis.
Hitler: Great, so we'll get more allies.
Governator: Negative: we pull them away from the Allies.
Hitler: Arrr, stop it, before my head explodes.
Jürgen: Your head explodes? That traitorous time traveller! Can I kill him now?
Hitler: No, let him finish: I need to know what he wants with the other points we invested in diplomacy.
Governator: We'll use them to establish trade routes. We want to buy all our metals and rare materials from the USSR, but first we need to establish a good relation with them: the better our relation, the lower the price we'll have to pay will be. We'll establish that by sending them every week a trade proposal to buy 1 unit of metal at a time. After a while our relation will be pretty high, and we can buy cheap metal and rare materials.
Hitler: Pretty clever! I'm sure I taught you that in the future.
Governator: Negative, since you'll be dead in the future. But don't worry, I'm here to help you with that.
Jürgen: Can I shoot him now? Please?
Hitler: Nein! Guard the door and fence off any other time travellers. Governator, was that all?
Governator: Negative: the first thing we need to do now is sell all of our excess energy. This will generate a steady income so we can enact better laws and later on get more materials from the USSR.
I'm influencing the US and Japan, while preparing my trade with the USSR. Also I sell quite some energy.
Governator: We've set up the road to victory: I'll tell you more about troop placements and spies as the year progresses.
Hitler: Good fellow, good muscles. I'm sure your brain is a muscle too.
Governator: I'm pretty sure it's not.
Hitler: It is, because I'm the führer and I say so!
Hitler and the Governator continued to argue till the sun rose and a new year had dawned. A year filled with possibilities and hope, especially with the Olympics coming up in Germany. Time travellers tried often to kill the führer, but never had they been send back to actually help him improve the war effort. This Governator would make the difference between victory and defeat.
Europe on 1 January 1936
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Author's note:
I always wondered why drugs smugglers could carry anything in their ass, while terminators couldn't... And Hitler's guards must indeed be very capable of terminating time travellers. Anyway, I made all the preparations for my game now, and will unpause it for the first chapter.
As you might have noticed, I used the setup from several different tutorials. Most can be found on the
Hoi3 Wiki, although there are a few from
this forum. My big mistake here is probably neglecting my officers, but we'll see if I manage to do anything useful without them.
I'll try to post the next chapter this evening, after I'll get back from work.