Born to Breed: House of the Prophets (WARNING: May contain nuts and traces of ribaldry; a few scenes NSFW in puritanical societies)
- Thread starter Peter Ebbesen
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They do say that there's no fool like an old fool, but Sigurd was never a foolish man, not even around women... according to his chroniclers, who admittedly were biased in favour of the great king and prophet, and men to boot.I do wonder if Sigurd really saw through the deceit or not.
One has to wonder what Gertruda would have said, had she left an account of her own of the Autumn Rose, but she did not - or at any rate, none that is extant. Only fragments of her works remain. She was instrumental in spurring the adaption of the written rather than hewn word in Denmark, so by 900 literacy is slowly but steadily gaining acceptance in the North for the purpose of poetry, trade, and holding-records, and the Danish royal court has not one, but TWO scribes employed... but Futhark has its limits and people are still mostly relying on the tried and true Runestone record for important information, which encourages brevity and is hard to falsify, isn't ruined by a soggy day and a leaky roof, and isn't lost when somebody burns down the hall in a fit of pique.
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Apologies for commenting very late; initially noticed it with the falalalan reference and saved it; could start to properly read it only recently. Will finish reading the story so far to catch up with it quickly.
Very good character-story building, with many interesting details; this is highly enjoyable to read. Kudos.
Very good character-story building, with many interesting details; this is highly enjoyable to read. Kudos.
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@filcat
Apologies for the late comment to the late comment. I blame summer. I hope you will find the next chapter, which I expect to publish this weekend or Monday latest, equally to your taste.
As advertised earlier it will feature a changed style for the next featured main character, so prepare yourself for the The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 7 – and Counting.
Apologies for the late comment to the late comment. I blame summer. I hope you will find the next chapter, which I expect to publish this weekend or Monday latest, equally to your taste.
As advertised earlier it will feature a changed style for the next featured main character, so prepare yourself for the The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 7 – and Counting.
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The Sverker Diaries, part one
Born to Breed: House of the Prophets
- Chapter the Fifth: The Sverker Diaries, part one -
with brief excerpts from the world of 901 and 908
- Chapter the Fifth: The Sverker Diaries, part one -
with brief excerpts from the world of 901 and 908
A Brief History of Writing: The Danish Alphabet
In the days before men, the Allfather sacrificed himself to himself on the tree and gained the wisdom of runes.
One day while walking the Earth, the grey wanderer came upon the maiden Ylva, fairest of mortal women, and was smitten by her beauty. Taking the shape of a blind young warrior-poet, he tarried with her for a while and she bore him their son Dan, fairest and wisest of the heroes of old.
Departing, the blind guest revealed his identity and gifted her with bright gold and the runes of knowledge, that she and their son might fare well. Thus it came to be, that when in the fullness of time Dan went forth to seize his destiny and founded the Danish people, he brought with him his father's runes. This is how writing came to the mortal world and brought about reckoning of days and the end of prehistory.
But the High One had kept three runes secret even from his son, and this is why no mortal alphabet is perfect.
Dan's runes eventually developed into the Futhark alphabet, and in the North writing was done on hide and carved in stone for posterity. Elsewhere in the world people tried to copy the runes of Odin Rúnatýr and thereby developed their own lesser alphabets, each with its own refinements. The most significant of these was the Latin alphabet of the valiant Roman conquerors, which together with parchment was their great gift to the people of Europe.
Unlike in Germania, the Latin alphabet did not arrive in the North with Christian missionaries. While undoubtedly some literate Christian slaves must have lived in the North during the 9th century, and possibly earlier, there is no evidence that they left behind a literary tradition.
Instead Latin arrived with Sigurd 'Snake-in-the-Eye' and his mighty sons, spoils of their conquests. Most everybody who could write in the wealthy Danish conquests in the west used the Latin rather than the Futhark alphabet, and to a king taxation is the mother of innovation.
Thus during the latter years of Sigurd's reign records in the Danish Jarldoms were kept in Latin written in Latin, Danish written in Latin, Danish written in Futhark, or a mix thereof all according to the whims of the Jarls, and even, in the strange case of Jarl Helgrim Halgrimsen the Arguably Sane, Latin written in Futhark. The burgeoning central administration of the proto-Empire, if that is not too grand a term to be used for an office of 20 trusted men (the “Handy Henchmen”), found this increasingly cumbersome.
Tradition credits Chancellor Jarl Arnbjørn the Wordsmith, Sigurd's son by his second wife Gertruda, with the creation of the Danish alphabet that is used to this day, drawing on the best features of Latin and Futhark.
The oldest extant records written in Danish is the “List of Offices” and the “Lordship of Wessex”, chronicling the rise of the shortlived Meggyesi dynasty of Wessex, both believed to be from the early years of the 900s.
It took many decades for the use of parchment and the new alphabet to come into common use, but already from the early years it was eagerly adopted by some members of the royal house, and none more eagerly than king Sverker I, whose fragmentary surviving autobiographical writings in the “Secret Diary” are a national treasure.
Meet Sverker:
The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 7 – and Counting
Testing... Testing... Quill working? Testing
Dear Diary,
I am a genius. Uncle Arnbjørn says writing for grownups is. He is wrong. Is tool of domination. Long I laboured. Stole secret power of writing from his notes. MY tool now. None suspect.
Hoarding scraps of vellum, I WILL CONQUER!
The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 7 1/2 – and Counting
Dear Diary,
Today I recite my lineage: The Lineage of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 7 and a half.
In me flows the divine blood of the greatest of kings. Allfather Odin. Dan. Skjold. Ivar Vidfamne. Sigurd Ring. Ragnarr Lodbrog. Sigurd Snake-in-the-Eye. And now, me.
My mother is Freya, first wife of Udalrich, daughter of Sigurd the king and his first wife Yeldem. She is a genius, like her mommy, and much more beautiful than father's second wife.
My father is Udalrich, Jarl of Connacht. Mommy says he is built like a bear and as entertaining. His parents were nobodies, nobles in Pomerania.
Grandfather Sigurd is old and scary. When he stares at me I am petrified. I wish I had a snake in the eye too. That would be wicked. When I became a big boy last year I came to court as his ward. He is teaching me diplomacy. He says it will help me when I am grown and have vassals of my own.
I have a big brother, a little brother, a little sister, and frogsis. Until I was six, big brother was always watching, but now I am at court I miss him. I miss them all. Even frogsis.
I am not alone. Grandma Gertruda gave me a puppy named Vassal. He jumps and wags his tail and comes when I call. Grandma says it is good training for both of us. He is a good puppy.
I have six uncles. Most of them I barely know as they rule distant lands, but three years ago when I was nearly five, I saw all of them in Roskilde when grandfather assembled his kin for the Great Invasion of Francia.
My most important competitors for the throne are my uncles Baldr, Jarl of Jylland, and Ormr, Jarl of Guladingslög, both of whom compete for grandfather's favour. Currently he favours Baldr. Possibly uncle Arnbjørn is a competitor as well. He is smart too and important at court. Little do they suspect that I am their greatest threat!
My favourite uncle is Bødvar, who rules Hannover but is normally fighting grandfather's enemies. He sends me souvenirs from the wars. Last week he sent me a painting from his campaign to pacify revolting Franks.
I am out of vellum, but I WILL CONQUER!
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This is highly entertaining. It certainly gives greater power to write when one flexes the style beyond a serious frame; yet, the ability to write in comedic voice is a serious art that tests the greatest skills one can summon, and this one achieves it. Kudos.
One of the few but neat detail; the improving style of the Prince Sverker, from his initial tests to its second entry in the diary, is very well capable to obtain a smile from the reader.
But... the commentaries on the images from the appropriate perspective; they are pure joy to read. Likes chicken. Was not expecting to burst into laughter while checking the images.
Still laughing. Kudos, once again.
One of the few but neat detail; the improving style of the Prince Sverker, from his initial tests to its second entry in the diary, is very well capable to obtain a smile from the reader.
But... the commentaries on the images from the appropriate perspective; they are pure joy to read. Likes chicken. Was not expecting to burst into laughter while checking the images.
Still laughing. Kudos, once again.
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Were I the type to blush, I would be doing so at this fulsome praise. But I am not, so I won't.
I am afraid that Sverker will grow out of visual jokes such as the "likes chicken" as he grows older, though one has to admire his sagacious insights into personality already at this early age.
I love writing comedy and in many ways it is what comes easiest to me(1), excepting only the very real danger of my venturing into absurd intellectual comedy and experimental style(2), which is an acquired taste many readers do not share, or, as was the fate of some of my AARs in the past, the danger of writing puerile comedy appealing to the reader's basest instincts, that can easily come across as tone deaf due to cultural differences or simply as awful if they cross the thin line between bad taste and too bad taste. And when even I find one of my AARs to be in too bad taste, it is time to drop it(3).
I think I'll avoid that particular danger for this AAR due to changing styles for different rulers. To this particular AAR the greatest threat of an early halt is probably from DLC launch destroying an ongoing game, which has happened upon occasion in the past.
My pleasure to write, as always, though time can be hard to find.I have to echo @filcat . Your writing is, as always, so incredibly funny.
Hah, your signature reminds me I really ought to update my Inkwell post. Is must be a few years out of date by now. Though I wonder if anybody ever reads the inkwell to find people's AARs these days.
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(1) See e.g. my classic It Came From the Mountains for EU2. Like many of my AARs from the early 2000s parts were heavily inspired by Terry Pratchett's writings. Most pictures lost due to host decay.
(2) So I mostly contain the truly experimental to Guess the Author entries like GENESIS where the topic was "A Cultural Clash", and For the Emperor, which is not funny at all and where the topic was "Reviving The Past"
(3) Worst example of this my abandoned My Inevitable Greatness for Mount and Blade, where I tried seeing how low I could go. Answer was: too low. It was written on the principle that the reader probably had a more dirty mind than I do, but I can only stomach so much. Like most of my old AARs the pictures are lost.
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The Sverker Diaries, part two
Born to Breed: House of the Prophets
- Chapter the Sixth: The Sverker Diaries, part two -
the world of 908 and 909
- Chapter the Sixth: The Sverker Diaries, part two -
the world of 908 and 909
The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 7 3/4 – and Counting
Dear Diary,
Today I saw Grandpa and Jarl of Wessex. Grandpa told me I am betrothed to Viola, the Jarl's daughter. He said she will be my first wife once we are adult. I asked do I have a say in this? He said no.
He told me to go to the side-room to talk to Viola. She is only a child and looks ugly. She likes horses, flowers, and pork. I asked her why she is ugly and she started to cry.
Mommy took me away. She scolded me. Said Viola is Mögyer, so her looks are not her fault. Perhaps she will become beauty in future. I agreed room for improvement. Mommy just sighed.
Later, I asked Mommy how she was betrothed to Father.
Mommy says she was never bethrothed. Grandfather's Handy Henchmen headhunted Daddy. She first saw him on 16th birthday. After feast she went to her rooms. They were stocked with food and drink, but she was not hungry. So she went to bed. Father was chained to her bed as a birthday present. Naked and wrapped in ribbons. I have never seen Father wrapped in ribbons. He must have looked silly. The key to chain's lock was lying on a table just outside his range. Then the Handy Henchmen locked the door to her room. They were left alone for several days. She unwrapped her present and they played games.
Mommy had a goofy grin all over her face as she told story. I think she was joking. Parents are strange.
At dinner I asked Grandpa whether I could have Viola chained to my bed. He looked at me strangely and changed the topic to taxation. Jarl of Wessex choked on food. He is a messy eater.
I will ask Father next time I see him.
Dear Diary,
Jarl of Wessex and Viola left today. Mommy said to apologize to Viola and say goodbye. She gave me a doll to give to Viola. This is what Grandpa calls diplomacy. Everybody says I am charming. So it ought to be easy.
So I gave the doll to Viola, and she was happy. I used diplomacy and said goodbye Viola, it is not your fault you are ugly. I hope you get better. She hit me with the doll and began to cry. I think she hit me because truth hurts. So did the doll. Stupid doll.
Girls do not understand diplomacy.
So I played with Vassal until it was time for lunch.
Important: Uncle “Excuse Me” will soon visit. I must charm him and find his weakness.
The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 8 – and Counting
Dear Diary,
Father came for my birthday! He gave me a knife, a hammer, and a shield. Let bullys beware! I got many gifts today. Grandpa gave me a pony and Grandma Skuld gave me pony tack and Grandma Gertruda gave me a collar for Vassal with small blunt spikes. He looks really fierce now! Grandma Iacoba taught me a party trick: how to rip the head off a pig. Grandpa laughed at it. I said thank you, Grandma, and tried to wipe the blood off my vest. Grandma Iacoba is a little strange. Mommy gave me a hug and got rid of the head, and then we feasted.
I shall name my pony Slays-by-night.
Later, I asked Father how he was betrothed to Mommy.
Father says that they were never betrothed. He won her fair and square in an epic quest! When Mommy was born, Grandpa Sigurd and Grandma Yeldem gave her a golden box with a magic lock, and told her that the longer it stayed locked, the greater the treasure within. Now, Mommy's wisdom as a child was known far around, and so was her golden box, and many men asked Grandpa for betrothal to Mommy, but Grandpa said no: Only a bear of a man, someone who can arm-wrestle both Grandma Iacoba and Grandma Irmele and win, and who has a key that can open any lock, can have Mommy, and him I will make a Jarl and he shall share her treasures. And all who tried failed and left with hurt arms, for they were only men, and not bears.
The tale of Grandpa's quest spread even to distant Pomerania, where Father was a young man. So for many years while she grew up and became beautiful he ate, and he fought, and he grew big and mighty, and in secret he forged a magic key. Finally, when he was big enough he went to Denmark with two Handy Henchmen he had met. And he went to Grandpa and said he was a bear of a man, and he arm wrestled Grandma Iacoba and Grandma Irmele, and he beat them. And he showed them his magic key, and Grandma Gertruda said, goodness me, is that a battering ram? Grandpa shushed her and said, good, you are in luck. It is her 16th birthday today. Go now to Mommy, and return when you have opened her box, and I shall make you the greatest Jarl of Ireland and Mommy shall be your wife. So he went to Mommy's rooms and said hello, I am a bear, and he taught her some new games to play and when later they tried his magic key in the magic lock, it opened her box and they shared its treasures, and Father became Jarl and a wealthy man.
Father was very serious as he hold this story, but Mommy had to bite a pillow to keep from laughing and at the end she creamed his face with the pillow. POW! Parents are strange.
So I told them that I am not a small child and have done research and I know the games Father talked about was S.E.X. and Mommy said I was a genius, which I know, but it is nice to be recognized. Then Father growled at Mommy like a bear and said it had been too long and Mommy sent me to bed.
I wonder if Viola has a golden box with treasures too. If she does not, will I be poor? The more reason to advance my plans for domination. You cannot rely on girls.
Before I went to bed Uncle Smartypants fulfilled a wish of mine and read aloud from his records. I told him he was awesome. He promised to teach me to read when I become adult.
Little did he suspect that it was a lure: I stole valuable secrets while he was reading and hid them under my shirt!
Hoarding secret knowledge, I WILL CONQUER!
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Had a bad week if have to describe it in kind words. Apparently the cure for it is here, as the secret diary of Sverker immediately delivered all the smile one needs in dire situations to carry on the fight (rest of the treatment involves rewatching Blackadder, of course).
Wonderful chapter, kudos.
Wonderful chapter, kudos.
Gee... That boy is real genius
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Hopefully just parts of II-IV + Christmas Carol + Back and Forth. Or will you rewatch I for..
And so quick on the uptake, yes. I wonder if I should make that a running joke.Gee... That boy is real genius
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Always starting with the IV (Cpt.B: you see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan. Lt.G: What was that Sir? Cpt.B: It was bollocks.). Then occasionally II. If having enough patience by the end, then indulging III (meeh). Although, no one can hold a laughter when seeing (and hearing) Brian Blessed, so yes... the first series is always waiting at the end of the day for (yet another) rewatching
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I laughed. Then I read the diary for my wife. She laughed. Now we both laugh.
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Happy to be of service.I laughed. Then I read the diary for my wife. She laughed. Now we both laugh.
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The Sverker Diaries, part three
Born to Breed: House of the Prophets
- Chapter the Seventh: The Sverker Diaries, part three -
the world of 909-911
- Chapter the Seventh: The Sverker Diaries, part three -
the world of 909-911
The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 9 and Counting
Dear Diary,
Uncle Bødvar sent me a painting of the winter raid on Hispania with the latest ship home. My suggestion that he always bring a painter to immortalize his triumphs is paying off.
The veteran who brought the painting told me he took part in the battle shown. They had been marching to the coast with plunder, when they were surprised by the army of the king of Asturias.
Outnumbered nearly four to one, Bødvar's veterans stood their ground against the horde of Christian levies, and their shield wall was unbreakable. The king had brought light cavalry, but such is of no danger to men who stand their ground. It was a long day of fighting and many a valiant man who had greeted the sun that morning supped in Odin's Hall that evening, for the Choosers of the Slain were busy. In the end we had the victory and buried our dead while the ravens fed well on the enemy.
The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 9 and Counting
Dear Diary,
Grandpa says that this place is of great religious significance. That I am treading on hallowed ground. That this is the location of one of Tyr's great victories over the Jotuns. I say it is a dump.
Sure, it has standing stones. This is supposed to impress me? They don't even have runes! Sure, they are bigger than most of the runestones from the permanent record, and they are more regular in shape, but... they are stones. This is enough to make Grandpa move his whole court here?
On the positive side, it is closer to home, so I may get to see Mommy and Father more often. On the negative side, everything else.
As an example of the latter, Grandpa told me that I will be seeing Viola more often as she lives practically next door and is a big girl now, just starting her education. Diplomatic, just like me. We'll have lots to talk about, he said. Wouldn't I like to visit her and get to know her better?
I told him I was overjoyed.
Sometimes when Grandpa looks at me, it is as if he sees right through me. It is disconcerting. This was one of those times.
Grandpa changed the topic and told me that to protect the holy site, he is establishing a holy order dedicated to Tyr, to be based in a nearby town. It is to be hoped they will prove more reliable than the jomsvikings.
The Secret Diary of the Genius Prince Sverker, Aged 10 and Counting
Dear Diary,
I shall never forget this day. It began well. The weather was so nice that I asked Grandpa for permission to skip my morning lesson in favour of a ride to the lake and a swim, and grumbling that boys will be boys, he ruffled my hair and sent me off with his blessings.
So I saddled Slays-by-night and rode off, but hardly had I arrived at the lake before an unkindness of ravens descended upon us from out of the sky and scared Slays-by-night so badly that I decided to return early. So I ended up going for a delayed morning lesson with Grandpa anyhow, but he wasn't there. He'll never be there again.
Grandma Skuld and Grandma Iacoba were crying, and Grandma Gertruda was nursing her mead and solving equations.
I asked Grandma Gertruda if he died fighting, and she said that though she were not there to see it, Grandma Skuld was. So she had it second hand, but it appeared that he did. After I left, Grandpa, invigorated by my display of youthful energy, had decided to impress Grandma Skuld by going armed but unarmoured into a fight. According to Grandma Skuld, though he was decidedly less impressive than in his prime, he yet died as he had lived, and went as he came, the zealous old dear, obeying Odin's will to the last.
I told Grandma Gertruda that he was certainly foolish for going unarmoured, and she just looked at me sadly. So I felt bad. It was an undiplomatic thing to say to her, even if going unarmoured into a fight is the height of stupidity. To cheer her up I told her that I would help her solve equations, and we spent half an hour doing so.
My plans for domination are in tatters. All my work to make Grandpa favour me is for nothing. As Grandpa died before I became adult, I have no chance of being elected at the Thing. They will probably elect uncle “Excuse Me”, who is ambivalent about me.
And I? Once Grandpa is safely put under stone, I will return with Father and Mommy to Connaught – an exile so close, and yet so distant, from the centre of world affairs. At least Vassal will share my exile.
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I somehow see a bright future for the lad, never mind the obstacles present.
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Well, yes... About that. He WILL have a bright future, and it is turning out to be MUCH harder to achieve than I expected it to be.I somehow see a bright future for the lad, never mind the obstacles present.
Since the cat is out of the bag after my reveal in the "best character writer of the week" thread, let me repeat the origin of this AAR for the readers of the AAR as well. And I should probably add it to the introduction too.
It originated as a thought experiment. I usually have a specific set of overall goals for my AAR games, but beyond that the story follows the gameplay. What if I were to write an AAR where the gameplay flowed from the story rather than, as is usual, the reverse? How would I go about doing that? And would it make for a good or a bad fit?
When I got CK3 this spring I realized I had an excellent platform for the experiment. Write a story outline with prophets and other major characters at key points in the development of a realm, filling in the details of what each character must achieve through his life – and then play the game, with any character theoretically able to meet the next milestone in the story attempting to achieve it. So House of the Prophets goes story outline => gameplay => AAR based on gameplay.
There's plenty of room for reacting to developments in the game - it is a quite broad outline apart from the key achievements of major characters - but it imposes interesting and ever changing constraints on my play depending on which ruler I am playing, which is great fun.
Now, I did do a short 150 year test game before I began the AAR to get a feeling for the norse DLC gameplay, and then I sat down to write the general outline for House of the Prophets, drawing on lessons learned and introducing new twists. Then I started a new Sigurdr game and started playing.
So when e.g. I introduce Gormr the Blood Father in the introduction, who moved the permanent runestone record to the pyramids after he moved the capital to Cairo, that is because my story outline calls for it, not because the game has already been played, and my task when playing is to ensure that this comes to be. And it will - I'll just need to engineer the election of somebody named Gormr at the appropriate time. Hasn't happened yet, but it should be easy.
Our young genius Sverker, however, is causing me problems. The outline calls for the best (genetically) of Sigurd's male grandchildren to become king, and Sverker with two max-tier traits was that boy. So I confidently introduced him three chapters ago as the upcoming king, when I had not played much beyond Sigurd's death yet.
But things got complicated as that conflicted with another story imperative for Sigurd and a curious turn of affairs in-game, as will be seen in the next AAR entry.
And with that, let me draw the curtains again on what goes on behind the stage. It is a fun way to play, but perhaps like the making of sausages it should not be examined in detail if one is to enjoy the final product.
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With apologies, Peter, as I have not caught up yet – or even made a start on doing so – but please consider this me reminding myself to come back to this over the next few weeks. After a skim read it looks like I’m in for a treat.
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Wonderful chapter. Kudos.
How is a gloriously powerful word that allows humankind to look for new horizons. Why is a notable second, though its use is very limiting, and mostly misleading - have to go with Hawking name drop! in this classification.
Sausages are still delicious, in any case. Bacon is gold.
Will leave it there as it is (and will archive it with a reference to its creator to preserve in the list of unique magnificence to avoid accidental quotes on it), and only say it again: Kudos.
Still laughing on this one
Naah. Still enjoying the final product, but always curious when it comes to analyse its mechanics, history, mystery, reasons, grounds, and everything behind it. Always.
How is a gloriously powerful word that allows humankind to look for new horizons. Why is a notable second, though its use is very limiting, and mostly misleading - have to go with Hawking name drop! in this classification.
Sausages are still delicious, in any case. Bacon is gold.
Cannot express the feeling this brief sentence awakens in self with any words.
Will leave it there as it is (and will archive it with a reference to its creator to preserve in the list of unique magnificence to avoid accidental quotes on it), and only say it again: Kudos.
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These last diaries were very entertaining! I always have a penchant for seeing CK3 through the eyes of a child and Sverker is an especially fun point of view.
Here's hoping that the Thing recognizes his genius and that Viola won't be scarred for life after all the comments.
Here's hoping that the Thing recognizes his genius and that Viola won't be scarred for life after all the comments.
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