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TekcoR

TekcoR

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Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs

9384097contest-placement-09.jpg


Table of Contents

Prologue:
Who I Am: An Introduction
Thoughts of the Past
And So It Begins

Chapter 1: The Year of 1836
To Be a Great Nation
We Be Rich

Chapter 2: The Years of 1837-1838
30 Kilometers to Hostilities
Leap to Lille-pad
Gloom of the Grave
Napoleon Who?

Chapter 3: The Years of 1839-1842
Strutin Our Stuff
Prussia Won't Play Ball
One Equals Three
Madness Runs Free

Chapter 4: The Years of 1843-1845
Impressive
Most Impressive

Chapter 5: The Years of 1846-1849
[Ho]lla[n]d [Solo]
Javan the Hut
Knight & Frog
Dream or Nightmare?

Chapter 6: The Years of 1850-1853
Honor? Oh that thing...
Our Might is Real, Vila Real!
A Hard War to Win
Game Breaking

Chapter 7: The Years of 1852-1857
The Time Has Come
What Time Is It?
Closing Time
This Time Is The Last Time!
Pain is Temporary, Time is Forever

Chapter 8: The Years of 1858-1860
Speed Up the Writing
Slow Down There, Pilgrim

Frog Wars:
Introduction

Brother Jacob's Extra Special Rantings and Ravings
Horrified Reaction
​
 
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Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



Who I Am: An Introduction​

To those bastardly cowards who thought that I would be disposed of by the great king [whoever it may be] has forgotten the power and arrogance of a rambling man that I am. Beseech you! The people who wish to dispose of the truth always have the most to hide; and I a meek fellow and speak the truth to you, I do not twist my tongue. I do not travel on the road most traveled; I travel within a country that has many great roads and few rails; but it is still a nation [or so we say].

I speak to you people [specifically the dastardly, broken, impoverished]; I have returned to rid you of your misfortunes by curing the heart and mind of thee! Though if thee have been diseased, I am not that kind of brother from another mother [though please return when none are looking!]. To the rich that continue your girth, I have returned to humiliate thee in front of those that you seek to dominate.

Fear not my friends, fear not my brothers and fear my numerous naysayers, that I have returned [at least until the king returns]. The sickly man I once was, I still am but my words shall endure throughout history of this nation that has traveled many roads. The reign of Brother Jacobs, the great and magnificent [possibly smelly] wizard of the arcane and master of the word havs returned to share my wealth [of knowledge]! Gather up I say to you! Gather up and here the history of the ro---country we hail from!
 
Thank you for taking part in the contest and good luck!
I linked your thread in the contest list and will follow your AAR :)

Thats a nice introduction, made me curious to read your first chapter :)
 
Enewald said:
What is this, I do not even...!
Click to expand...

This will be a reboot of an AAR I started for Victoria 1 named "We Are Not a Road, We Are a Country!" Brother Jacobs was the narrator of the AAR, and he is kind of "out there" to say the least. I find that writing in the style of this narrator is usually more challening but has immense rewards.

So I say to thee brothers and sisters [from mothers that have seen my council] sit down and entice with the local cuisine of the great roa---nation we are! Drink up and praise [but not to the king]! Consume the fine luxury imported from far away [where thee have never been]! Be advised thee [blinded, ignorant] peasants, the fruit galore is short, though our infastructure is great [for the those who seek to harm]. Beesch you! Enjoy the festival!
 
Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



Thoughts of the Past​

People question the tales of antiquity with great interest and often ask where did we come from; that is not the purpose of Brother Jacobs! I am here to teach you of the modern history of our great super hi… uh…railr... kingdom. Our king [whoever he or she may be] has been supreme throughout the lands; bringing the blessings of tyrannical rule. Suppressed is the memory that just mere years before hand that brothers fought against their dastardly brothers of a different faith.

Often the village idiot ponders why did we fight such a war only to remain united? Then I speak to the people; who have known the answer for quite some time, but did not dare share their knowledge to me for the purpose of ego. Upon a magnificent day not too long ago I say to the crowd: “We remain united for the fears of the Frog and the Black Knight!” The crowd just nods and moves on, but I seek to share my wealth [of knowledge and my stench] with you!

Our kingdom is great, great for the delicious beer, delicious sweets and magnificently cooked waffles that are delicious. Our roads our delicious too! The short history of this great kingdom has already been memorized for the quality of our great opportunity [for the enemy of the state]. I advise thee people, do not forget what makes us great! Though we recently fought and agonized [against my oppressive rants] we are great and shall always be! Without me who would you be?

There are more tales [of lions, tigers and bears], but those are for another time. For now the great kingdom that is this nation of beer, chocolate, waffles and a few good pathways needs to survive another passing of the sun. Tomorrow my friends and foes I promise you more specials!
 
I'm sorry, this AAR is set in what nation?
 
Which though? or did he actually mod in a united Benelux nation?
 
I created a new nation for the AAR - the Benelux (tag BNL Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg). I'll go into more detail about it in an update.
 
Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



And So It Begins​


God save us everyone! The reign of terror that I am has begun! The history of the great nation of the Benelux has begun [with more flair than before]! Back in the good ole days, before the reign of Napoleon the Tyrant, these great parts were part of a Frog Empire that temporarily stretched from the coasts of Iberia to the door step of Moscow [which is farther than all thee demented souls have traveled]. With tormented croaking of the Frog Empire the powers of the Congress of Vienna decided our fate. Whose right it is it to decide our fate except the benevolent leader [who has let me live probably one too many times]?

To best assist those who are fundamentally demented, weak minded or lethargic about your duty to know about history, I [a great man that I am] have designed a magnificent key in your quest to know about the great road that is the Benelux. First of all, what is the Benelux? The Benelux is a righteous kingdom created by the Congress of Vienna to buffer between the Frogs and the Black Knights. A pity to those who cannot read, never fear for I have provided a colorful assortment of maps for thee! Here is our great kingdom of the Benelux, a kingdom amongst kingdoms:



“The greatest place to live is our home the Benelux,” I proclaim one day amidst the crowd of common-folk at the village town hall. The majority of thee common-folk look about as if they are traitors to this great nation, before one brave soul stands up to my words of wisdom. “Brother Jacobs,” he says, “This is not the Benelux. This is the United Kingdom of the Netherlands; which includes the lands of Belgium and Luxembourg.” To say my critics are few and far between is a hoax; but this man was no critic, he was surely a demon sent here by the enemies of the state!

The best methods of fighting a demon is with proof, thus I went to the best place I knew, the archives which serve as a highway of information for those capable of reading and seeking out an understanding of truth! Scouring through the archives, I discover a frightening piece of propaganda. The Congress of Vienna is an imposter of the greatest proportions. A great nation does reside within in these borders, but we are the not nation of the Benelux as I have been informed by my greatest source [my imagination]. We are the United Kingdom of the Netherlands.


The United Kingdom of the Netherlands [Benelux] standing's in Europe's order of power as of 1836.​

“This is a travesty of the great proportion!” I proclaim to the man who had advised me this was not the Benelux. In proper manner [screaming and cursing about the devil] I left the town hall to my residence to comfort myself about the meaningless purpose of living a lie. In my rage and discomfort, I have forgotten to share more about this sham of a nation. Give me a week or two my brothers and sisters, and I shall forgive you for your sins against the Benelux!


Poor taxes: 50%. Middle taxes: 50%. Rich taxes: 10%. Tariffs: 10%.​


The Politics of the Benelux - as depicted by Brother Jacobs.

"Why did you vote for the Waffle Lovers?" asks a citizen to me, who he himself cannot vote.

"Because, the syrup and fruit galore is to die for."​


The technology of the Benelux. Currently researching practical steam engine.

"What powers our railroads if we do not have a steam engine?" asked a kid.

"Why you do brave sap!" I replied to his bewildered mind. This brave sap quickly turned and ran, crying for his mother of questionable origins. How stupid he must be! The children of today are this nation's future, and a scary vision that may be.​

 
Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



To Be a Great Nation​


“In order to be a great nation that we are, we must industrialize! We must shake off the feeble minds of the liberals [of which most of you are] and serve the masters of the industrial lords!” I proclaimed one cold day to the patrons of the local pub. Their enthusiasm about the subject was overwhelming to say the least. Perhaps intruding on their luxury time was a bit too polite and my methods should change. Oh well, never fear greater workers of this industrializing nation, while your backs may break from your fourteen hour work day, the nation that to strive for will be in the history books [but without much mention of you]!

It turns out that the cheery fellows I visited with at the local pub were quite distraught about the expansion and construction of new factories of the great nation. The great ruler of the Kingdom of the Net---Benelux, had ruled with the Parliament’s approval that state funds could be used for the expansion of the fabric factory in the state of Vlaanderen and the steel factory in Wallonie. In Holland proper, the intelligent [and most graceful] king thought to construct a naval yard for the production of ships for the merchant marine. Lastly, to cement his rule as a great person he would build a new cement factory in Gelderland; though currently there was already one in Vlaanderen.


Factories of the United Kingdom of the Netherlands as of January 1836.​

Frightening news my friends and bastardly foes, the Austrians are marching! The Austrians are marching off to war. A good dear friend of mine asked me one night why three lanterns hung the church’s steeple of the town village. “Ah my good friend,” I replied. “One lantern is by sea, two if by land and three if through the Benelux.” My friend was speechless. Why would the Austrian nation go through Benelux to reach their foes of Denmark? That my friends is a question is the most rhetorical question in the history of the world. Why through the Benelux?

With one of our previous ruling nations at war, another sought to befriend us! In the midst of an unseasonably cool day, a great proclamation was declared by the king [who looked really like a queen that day], announced a great alliance between the Kingdom of the Neth—Benelux and the Spanish Empire. In rapid succession, a new alliance was announced with a competing power that had lost its empire, the Portuguese signed a military agreement with our great nation [that coveted their remaining territory in the East Asia, most notably Bali.] But not to be outdone my brothers and sisters, we have made a deal with one of the devils! In life there are three devils, the Frogs, the Black Knights and the lack of waffles and their numerous toppings. In the late parts of winter, near the ides of March, in order to celebrate the death of Caesar, a military agreement was signed with the Black Knights [Prussia].

And how does our king see best fit to celebrate this new agreement with the Black Knights who has a rivalry with the Frogs to our south? He builds railroads my brothers! He builds railroads my sisters! HE IMPROVES OUR TRANSPORTATION FOR THE SAKE OF THE NATION HE SAYS! Lies! Bewildering and ruthless lies. THESE ARE NOT FOR US, BUT FOR OUR ENEMIES!


The first Beneluxian railroad, Amsterdam to Brussels to Bruges.

"In war, the enemy will take the railroad from Bruges to Amsterdam, bypassing the rest of the country."​
 
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Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



We Be Rich​


“What have you done?” I yelled to the local capitalists who ran a series of pubs that fine gentlemen [unlike me and nearly ninety percent of this nation] were allowed in. The gentlemen in his luxurious clothes and well crafted monocle and syrup stain on his napkin, stared at me blankly for a few before continuing his ritual of eating the finest treats of the nation. “What have you done thee cat that is fat? I demand an answer!” I repeated my demand. This startled the gentleman and he looked up at me. “What have I done with my fellow cohorts who run this empire? You cannot handle the responsibility of eating the finest waffles in the land! Can you not see old fool that the railroads my cohorts build in Luxembourg and Hasselt are for the benefit of the many?” The man tipped his hat and walked away, hence by ignoring me or my witty reply, such a travesty my brothers and sisters [for I know my humor is the most excellent].

“The Kingdom of the Netherlands has friends in far places!” proclaimed a local newspaper one day. What good are friends I say if they reside in far away lands and are unable to contest the will of the Frogs and the Black Knights? “But Brother Jacobs, the Prussians are our friends!” they reply with great joy. “We may be friends, but when will the benefits run out? What then shall we do?” I exclaimed to the town crier, who willingly announced increased relations with the civilized nation of Portugal and the reclusive nation of Japan, on the far side of the world.

I speak with friends with great knowledge my brothers and sisters, they are a dastardly fellows. I often say to myself, that one must “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.” This is quite the truth that this great ro-nation of mediocre power must live by. But however, I fear out cowardly king is not so wise [or that manly for that matter either]. But he is our king and we must believe in the great wisdom he dispenses [which is rarer than a blue moon].

News from our colonies is few and far between, many within this great kingdom knew the location of these great lands beyond the borders of the Benelux. From South America, the Caribbean, the coasts of Africa and the magnificent East Indies, the flag of the Benelux waved with much respect from the European citizens [nor from me]. What good are our colonies if all they provide is nothing? They weaken our military by diverting vital resources from the mainland! The Frogs and the Black Knights cannot swim across an ocean or two, but they can march across our European borders without hassle. But great news at least is received. “GOLD! GOLD! GOLD!” proclaims the national newspaper. “Gold has been found in enormous quantities in Sumbawa, a province of the East Indies.”

​

With the news of gold erupting with enormous praise throughout the country a little headline went mostly unnoticed. “Why did the Frog cross the border?” asked the national newspaper near the end of its paper. “The arrest of a local mayor of a small town residing with sovereignty of the Kingdom of Netherlands is why. To respond to this, paper requests an immediate declaration of war against the French who have refused to return the mayor.” The pride of this great nation has been smeared upon the two-legged Frog for far too long. Perhaps it is time for a test of the nations to claim to be an ally of this great nation.


December 16th, 1836, a border incident with the French.

"War is a means of acquiring what peace cannot."​


 
...

I think I'm in love with the beautiful chaos of this AAR. Brother Jacobs sounds like a solid individual who knows that there is nothing that the enemy loves more than public transportation. :rofl: Naturally, the only solution is to build more roads, so that any would-be intruder is confused! But one question crosses my mind - if France = Frogs, and Prussia = Black Knights, then what is Austria? And more importantly - what does this make the Heligoland Bight? :eek:
 
Communitarian! said:
...

I think I'm in love with the beautiful chaos of this AAR. Brother Jacobs sounds like a solid individual who knows that there is nothing that the enemy loves more than public transportation. :rofl: Naturally, the only solution is to build more roads, so that any would-be intruder is confused! But one question crosses my mind - if France = Frogs, and Prussia = Black Knights, then what is Austria? And more importantly - what does this make the Heligoland Bight? :eek:
Click to expand...

For Austria, the Old Eagles? Gray Eagles? I mean they are an old empire!

I can't even begin to think of anything for Heligoland Bight.
 
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