Gear up, I need to practice my archery, and I need a live target. I 'll need you...
What the..
Well thanks I guess. (That's a little creepy)
Back to more important matters.
Ah my wife is ready!
The strange thing is her mother looks
exactly like my first wife. Down to the Apron-outfit.
The sad thing is, her mom is probably younger then my first wife..would have been. All Norman girls look alike I guess.
Courier! Make known unto the Count of Hampshire, I wish to wed his daughter. And will NOT take no for an answer.
Ha, Normans. No back bone.
Hmm, she's a little sick, but that wont slow me down. However she might not be the most comfortable, but really does that matter?
I can't even remember the name of a single previous wife.
How many have I even had? Meh, asking silly rhetorical questions like that wont get me anywhere.
However on the topic of child-rearing...
Looks like someone made a mistake, and now came home for dad to take care of him.
Ah kids and their games.
Sadly, on the note of becoming a grandfather...there is problem I can afford to no longer ignore.
Courier, bring my book of Anglo-Kings, I need to spend some time alone with dad.
Dad? You there? I have a problem.
The Norman has been of child baring age for a little while now. And I've kept him wifeless. However very soon he will become the Count of Hereford.
And he will then marry on his own, and maybe even produce children.
Norman Children.
I'd kill him now...but his current heir..is me. And once he has a new legitimate brother, I think that brother will be is heir, a Saxon heir.
So I need him to live long enough to become the count, but I can never let him breed. What should I do? I'm at loss.
...
...
Of course! I'll make him marry middle-aged women! It's perfect! Women who are just slightly past child-baring, and will live a long long time.
You're a genius dad! I'll get on this right away!
Courier!? I am done with this you can...wait..WAIT JUST A MINUTE..
A NAVIE PUPPET MASTER?! "...
as their own ineptitude is apparent to all.."
WHO WROTE THIS! WHO WROTE THESE LIES?! My father...my FATHER got himself made KING OF ENGLAND! He DEFEATED the last true Viking KING!
WHO WOULD SO BLIND TO HIS GREATNESS TO PUT THIS..THIS..sacrilege!!!
DAMN you NORMANS! Damn YOU!!!
Courier! Get this book out of my face, and burn it! And cancel our subscription to that book-club that sent us this.
Sigh, we'll just have to make our own history.
Get my coat, we need to go find
The Norman a wife.
The Mighty Siward, Earl of the North. He killed King Macbeth, stood a towering 6'7, and was a loyal vassal to true Anglo-Saxon kings. It seems his linage has also fallen upon hard times since the Norman invasion.
He's Saxon daughter will do nicely though. If my failure of an heir refuses to be Saxon, we'll just surround him in Saxons..old nagging saxons. That'll teach him.
Hmm..whats that Courier?
She's PREGNANT?!
YESSSSSSSSS! YES! Ha Ha! I knew God still loved the Godwinsons!
While I was going through my new daughter-laws files, I realized she had one brother alive as well. Not wanting to see the heroic Siward dynasty die out, i offered him one of my Saxon daughters.
He was soo happy for the chance to make children and re-establish his line..he moved into my castle.
And started eating my food...and sleeping on my couch.
ehhh.
That pansy.
Well now that he is dead I guess there is only one thing to do...
Celebrate!
Pagan Style
All of this celebrating over the death of my worthless brother, has made my own sons realize something very important about each other.
They want cause to celebrate as well.
Ah Swithelm, ever since our pep talk he's wanted to do this. I want to do it too, Swithelm, but we need him alive for now.
Sorry.
...
*Left hand twitches*
Ouch, sucks for him. He's getting old too!