-------- Warning: Storyline! --------
On 4th June 1941, we received tragic news from Germany.
Friedrich Wilhelm II., Kaiser of Germany and King of Prussia, has died at the age of 82. His son, Kaiser Wilhelm III is his legal heir apparent.
Germany has been our arch enemy for centuries economically, militarily, scientifically, culturally and in many other aspects. It goes without saying that it is a question of respect to express Germany our condolences by following their invitation to the Kaiser's funeral.
A French delegation consisting of Sébastien Faure (our president), foreign minister Louis Aragon, security officer Adrien Tixier and the French ambassador Robert Coloundre in Germany attend the funeral, held in Berlin.
The German-French relationship has hardened over the last years due to the ongoing Elsaß-question, but faithful to the slogan "keep your friends close, your enemies even closer", we have been asked to attend the funeral nonetheless. Besides, there has always been a special relationship between our 2 nations. France is the only syndicalist nation attending. Neither our friends from Sicily, nor the Russians have been invited. We felt isolated by the fact that no allies of ours have been asked to come, but we would like to preserve our chance to take part.
Hundreds of thousands were on the streets while Wilhelm's coffin was brought to his last resting-place, paying the last respect to the Kaiser.
Ensuing the funeral, a banquet was held for all invitees. It was a pompous event, held at Schloss Charlottenburg in Berlin. One speech followed another; beer, schweinshaxe and wurst were served. The official part of the celebration lasted for about 5 hours. Everyone was enjoying oneself and it seemed as if most people forgot the reason for the banquet was a rather tragic one. Interesting conversations regarding the current political situation in the world were discussed.
Hot topics still were the collapse of the Austria-Hungarian Empire, as well as the rise of the Soviets in the East. With the new alliance France - Sicily - Soviet Russia, what will happen to Germany in between? Is Wilhelm III. as much of a leader as his father was?
Many monarchs and officials expressed their fears that syndicalism could be spread amongst their respective countries. Generally, it was nice a celebration and the atmosphere was friendly between the guests.
Our delegation was involved in several topics with senior officials and high politicans regarding the future of the French-German relation. We were told that the new Kaiser inherits not only his father's sexy beard but also remains true to his policies. It is highly unlikely that any sort of appeasement policy between our 2 nations will be aimed for. Disappointed by the course of the informal top-level talks, they then decided to at least enjoy the rest of the banquet and devoted themselves to the joy of beer and wurst.
By about 2 am in the morning - our delegation was just about to thank for the invitation and wanted to call it a night. France's representatives were just about to stand up and leave, while they heard some Germans' table talk nearby:
Franz von Papen: Guys, I got another one....how many French soldiers does it take to successfully defend Paris?
Fritz Bayerlein: Hmm....no idea.
Manfred von Richtofen: Erm, I'd say about a million.
Franz von Papen: No-one knows, it has never been tried!
Frritz Bayerlein: Muahahaha.
Manfred von Richtofen: Haha, good one.
Of course, our delegation was in shock. Just about to leave, they now decided to stay and listen a little more what these guys had to say. Our representatives felt anger and disappointment at the same time.
More and more stories about 1870 and 1914 came up. Stories were told how "my father fought France, I fought France and I will make damn sure my sons will, too", one said. Most participants were not reluctant of alcohol consumption all through the night. Nationalist ideas flew over and could be heard by everyone. The drunkards spoke too loud not to overhear their conversations.
In order to drown their lousy jokes and racist talks out, France's representatives loudly intoned La Marseillaise:
Allons enfants de la Patrie,
Arise, children of our country,
Le jour de gloire est arrivé !
The day of glory has arrived!
Contre nous de la tyrannie,
Against us the bloodied banner
L'étendard sanglant est levé.
Of tyranny is raised.
Entendez-vous dans les campagnes
Do you hear in the countryside
Mugir ces féroces soldats ?
The roar of those ferocious soldiers?
Ils viennent jusque dans nos bras
They come right here among us
Égorger nos fils, nos compagnes !
To slaughter our sons and wives!
Just after the first verse, the Germans themselves began to sing their 'Wacht am Rhein' even louder, La Marseillaise could not be heard anymore:
Es braust ein Ruf wie Donnerhall,
A call roars like thunderbolt,
wie Schwertgeklirr
like clashing swords
und Wogenprall:
and splashing waves:
Zum Rhein, zum Rhein,
To the Rhine, the Rhine,
zum deutschen Rhein,
to the German Rhine,
wer will des Stromes Hüter sein?
who wants to be the stream's guardian?
(Note: If you think I stole this idea from the movie Casablanca, you are absolutely right)
At least they were no longer insulting France with their table talks, so our initiators were satisfied to some degree. Still, they decided to stay for a little longer.
Once the interest for drunk-singing abated, everyone returned to talk.
Another hour later, the sunrise not too far away, the French finally decided it would be time to leave after a last drink. They had been drinking beer all night, not really enjoying it, though, they just tried to be reputable guests to the Germans. It was decided to finish the night with a good glass of wine.
When the wine was supplied, everyone sniffed first, as one would expect by sophisticated Frenchmen.
Monsieur Dixier was the first to take a little mouthful. Immediately, he turned around and disgorged the gulp of wine. He looked disgusted as one could only look. All people sitting close to him took notice and silence hit the hall. People who were still talking, stopped doing so after noticing that most people were quiet. In the moment of pure silence, the new Kaiser himself looked at our Ministry of Security and asked "Monsieur, what is the problem?". Adrien Tixier was still spitting into his handkerchief and cleaning his mouth, hoping to get rid of the taste he just had experienced. He exaggerated his behaviour to the utmost, only to make sure really everyone would take notice.
After a short moment, he felt ready to reply. Tixier stood up, began "This was the most dreadful taste I have ever experienced in my life" and then proceeded "Eure Hoheit, with all due respect, you Germans took away the best vineyards and winemakers in the world and this is the best you can offer?".
Needless to say, the Kaiser didn't know what to say, nor did anyone else. After this commotion, our delegation silently left the event and travelled back to Paris the same morning.
Whatever the Germans' official announcement regarding this incident will be, our relationship is now as frosty again as it last was in 1918.