Chapter Nine - Westernised and Terrified
Sokoto has enjoyed an unprecedented period of peace, having suffered no war for a full year. Surprisingly this period of peace has not brought joy to the people of Sokoto, instead the break in hostilities simply giving them time to take stock and realise what a mess their nation now is. The Sokoto government, showing a hitherto unheard of competence in judging the public mood, hurriedly send forth the diplomats to sort out a new war before anyone within Sokoto begins considering such idiotic ideas as revolution.
The diplomats return a few days later severely short of breath having fled with all haste from Egypt after delivering the message of war to their quickly enraged Egyptian counterparts. The diplomats may be breathless and terrified but they are also rather happy. Happy they did not have to use a Sokot ship this time.
Sokoto's forces are hurriedly thrown forward over the border into Cairo where the whole Egyptian army is currently camped.
Whilst Sokoto has overwhelming numbers in her favour, Egypt not only has artillery she also has infantry this time, rather than irregulars as before. Clearly Egypt now knows mere irregulars are quite unsuited to stopping the pink juggernaut. Nonetheless the odds continue to favour Sokoto especially as Muhammad Kabe was given his position solely due to his having powerful friends and not due to ridiculous concerns such as to his experience and ability for the role. In this case Kabe has a powerful friend, rather than 'friends', as his brother is Sokoto's legendary poet, Abdullah Kabe.
With the titanic battle of Cairo still raging the Sokoto government has important business to deal with.
Morale within the army remains low, non-Hausa troops still not having grown accustomed to inept leadership, having to wield antiquated weapons and shockingly high casualties, especially on siege duty. Considering this important issue the government order new pink uniforms for all of the non-Hausa brigades, this sure to improve morale.
After nearly a month of battle Egypt's army is finally defeated.
General Muhammad Kabe winning considerable praise for the high number of casualties Sokoto suffered in what many had considered would prove an easy and routine victory over a horribly outnumbered force. Although there is disquiet at his having shown competence in surrounding Cairo, blocking any Egyptian retreat.
With victory secured General Kabe's brother, the great poet Abdullah Kabe, hurriedly writes some new verse in honour of his brother's victory.
We won,
We won,
We won, we won, we won.
We won,
We won,
We actually won,
We won,
We're number one!
Well, truly we are number sixty but you try finding a word to rhyme with sixty.
This moving poetry widely accepted as one of his best works to date.
With victory over Egypt finally won disaster is experienced in Kenya.
Despite the casaulties caused by the fever the Sokoto government remains steadfast in their opposition to improvements in drainage and clean water supplies. Arguing that such improvements would be mollycoddling and a waste of money, brown foul smelling water having done them no harm whilst they grew up. Furthermore having to cope with high casaulties caused by outbreaks of disease give Sokot men good preperation for life in the army, where high casaulties will be very common.
Showing the care for their men which makes the Sokot army such a welcoming and friendly place, all of the most weakened brigades are sent off to the east to besiege Egypt's desert provinces.
The Sokot generals reasoning that since said brigades have already lost so many men attrition will not harm them very much. Plus suffering through a desert siege is far preferable to much needed rest and recuperation.
With the near-dead Sokoto brigades bravely suffering through horrendous siege conditions in eastern Egypt, many suffering dreadful injuries such as having to cope with sand in their boots, worrying news is brought to Sokoto's generals.
The underhanded Egyptians daring to prey upon Sokoto's most vulnerable brigades.
Sokoto's generals, who are understandbly proud at having extracted some more casaulties from a war which is as good as won, are left in surprise when the Sokoto government orders them to save the remaining brigades. Clearly politicians know nothing about casualties equating to glory.
A reluctant Usman Rumfa finally crushing Bey's force a few months later, suffering embarrassingly few losses in the battle against Bey. Although happily a Sokoto brigade is crushed before Bey is finally defeated.
With the government's policy of continuing to underfund education whilst instead stealing academics from newly conquered lands proving effective, Sokoto now having an astoundingly high 6.3% literacy, there is little surprise that non-Hausa parents are now clamouring to have their children enlisted in Sokot schools.
Said schools still doing little to teach children anything other than the basics of warfare as they still resemble battlefields for the most part. This always useful experience for joining the Sokoto army.
Research into the 'Publishing Industry' is finally completed a few months later.
The Sokoto government delighted that they can soon begin printing their newspaper, tentatively titled 'News From The Wise And Brilliant Sokoto Government Who Should Never Be Replaced'. That is until the academics explain that the publishing industry in this case is actually for clothing. This leaving Sokoto's ministers understandably dissapointed, they nonetheless each order a half dozen new pink suits before ordering research into 'Bronze Muzzle-loaded Artillery'. This due to their growing exasperation at repeated failed attempts to create working cannon from grass and mud.
Still with the 'Publishing Industry' now researched nothing bars Sokoto from westernising, a truly terrifying prospect for the world. Well, nothing apart from the current war against Egypt, which should finish soon. Or, more likely, it should finish at some point in the next decade based on Sokoto's previous form against defenceless opponents.
The Sokoto government is left hugely confused mere days later.
Confused that Tigray saboteurs have somehow damaged Sokoto's non-existant industrial facilities.
With war continuing and westernisation now a possibility the Sokoto government still focus on more important matters.
Such as arranging a fishing trip to Aden.
War against Egypt is finally drawing to an end but there is one thing barring peace.
Inexplicably the Sokoto people are none too keen on war, this hindering further land being demanded from Egypt. It almost as if horribly high taxes and constantly high casaulties are an undesirable thing which has put the public off further warfare. The Sokoto government is undeterred though, willing to wait until public support for war grows so that more land can be demanded.
Whilst waiting for this change in public mood the finance minister lowers national stockpile spending so as to begin gathering the funds required to pay for the building of factories in the near future.
The Sokoto soldiers are surprisingly happy when told they will have to buy their own equipment. That is until they are told they must still buy pink uniforms, no other colour acceptable.
Despite a slight increase in public support for the war, there is still not support enough to demand another province from Egypt several months later. The public for some reason unimpressed that the Sokoto army is now being asked to pay for their own equipment.
The government finally admitting defeat, they secure peace with Egypt.
The war now at an end the government hurriedly order for westernisation to be embraced.
Sokoto's impressive technlogical progress, her high literacy of 6.5%, her all-conquering fashionable army led by only the best of generals, her capacity to wage war near non-stop for only the most unjustified of reasons, her mastery of diplomacy and her government's skant regard for the nation's public all showing Sokoto is an eminently qualified nation to be considered civilised. Sokoto takes her rightful place amongst other westernised nations.
A place she is hopeful of not losing any time soon, which could prove a bit tricky as she now borders another western power.
Not that the Ottomans, who are still at truce with Sokoto until July 1853, are likely to hold any grudges. The Sokoto government does not doubt the Ottomans are delighted by their new peace loving neighbour. The Ottomans will surely never consider seeking revenge for her past defeat against Sokoto. That seems highly unlikely. Yes, very unlikely indeed. So unlikely that the Sokoto government quickly orders further recruitment.