We Can Not Sow - An Icelandic Old Gods AAR
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I'm gonna be realy dissapointed if you end up accepting christianity, also if this boy survives, he needs a medal.
Well yes, I suppose running into the middle of the enemy army like that is definitely an experimental tactic, can't deny that.
King Anlaufr did hold a great blót, the one where he sacrificed a Gydja for no reason at all, but since little else of note happened, I didn't show much of it.
Also, session is complete and I have enough material for 2-3 updates before the next Althing.
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With our poor Diplomacy and -40 opinion malus for 'Short Reign', our vassals are frothing at the mouth about being led by a Boy-King, despite his parentage. My father's loyal Marshal, Chief Fredrik of Oriel, founds a faction to install my half-brother Rögnvaldr, currently the Godi of Hamborg, upon the throne, and the 'Independence' faction has swelled to five single-county members. While the army continues to whale on the helpless Danes without the direction of King Anlaufr, the Black Princess moves frantically to silence seditious voices.
But it is all for naught.
Okay, that's not so
Oh.
Oh.
Hoookay. I still have a whole bunch of money inherited from ol' Daddy-O, so I hire all the mercenaries I can. Which is just the Irish Band, seeing as the Scottish are employed by someone else. Bugger.
Arngrimr, my father's loyal knight, also joins the rebellion.
I make the grievous error of trying to wrap up the Danish first and force them to pay reparations. This allows Fredrik of Oriel to gather all his fellow rebels in one army big enough to rival mine. If I would allow myself to reload, I would have shipped my already-gathered army to smash Fredrik's misfits piece by piece. I also make the mistake of sending the Black Princess to Oriel in order to have him assassinated, but realize too late that he's moved into Kildare by that point so I don't get the bonus to assassination chance from the Build Spy Network mission.
Even though I manage to get 85% warscore against the Danes, they refuse to surrender. I am forced to accept a white peace with them in order to focus on the out-of-hand revolt. As Fredrik begins to burn through my holdings in Kildare now that he has an army big enough to assault with, I finally land an army in Connacht and win a paltry victory.
But the thing is, Fredrik's army does not reinforce, while my retinues and mercenaries do. As Kildare falls, I move my army back east to delay the independence revolt. They are not really strong enough to harm me, but they gain warscore quickly from just being in full control of their holdings. By assaulting a lightly-defended fort, I can set the ticker to zero and deal with them later. Then I can sit tight and reinforce while Fredrik has his host whittled down by siege events.
On the other hand, the vultures are quick to swoop in on my splintered realm:
THAT'S A NICE INDEPENDENCE YOU GOT THERE
Now very interested in seeing this war brought to a swift end before I am left with a rump state due to opportunistic neighbours, I march on Fredrik in Connacht after liberating Kildare. His 8000-man army has been whittled down to 6000 thanks to sallies and disease, and I now marginally outnumber him. Not as much as I'd like, but beggars can't be choosers.
This game is so stupid
My army is now barely enough to take on the independence revolt, let alone Mr. Master-of-Warfare Fredrik's host. I consider surrendering to my brother's claim, but since he is a religious lord, this might result in Iceland becoming a Theocracy and thus unplayable. I might, I suppose, take the role of Gyrid of Chester, but I do not relish to notion of going from King to Chieftess, and one chafing under the rule of a Norse Pope at that. This is it, then, the end of this AAR. It was fun while it lasted. I've had a lot of fun raiding for money and prestige, but in the end my boundless inherited wealth meant nothing if I could not reach any mercenaries.
... at least, not while I hold court in Connacht.
But I have other lands.
I hire the Victual Brothers and seize Burgundahólmr, kidnapping the Chief's wife and daughter along the way, then smash the independent faction's siege of Sjaelland.
Aaaand the last loyal man who knows anything about war is dead. Thank Thor for militarily apt mercenaries that can lead flanks.
With the ships from the Victual Brothers, I can now transport 9200 men, so I fill up the last spots with the Rus Company and set sail back to Ireland to deal with the treacherous dog Fredrik, now that the independents have been declawed.
Not pictured: A quarter of an hour finding the most optimal configuration to embark on the ships, since I had a little over 9700 men in Denmark.
That's Fredrik of Oriel, champion of Rögnvaldr, fleeing the scene so hard that he leaves his son and heir in an occupied castle. Imprisoning him nets me a whopping 50% warscore. After liberating Kildare, the war has turned to 46% in my favour. Infuriatingly, I find out that capturing Oriel only gets me a few warscore for each holding. But since it's a fully mercenary/retinue army in Ireland, I just keep assaulting them, as I can afford the losses.
Meanwhile, a some Swedish rear end conquers Burgundaholmr while my attention is diverted. This starts up the worryingly fast "The Rebels Control all their Holdings" ticker, but I am able to grab a castle in Skåne before I lose any more. Mark my words, Sweden will get its just desserts for this insult.
Finally, in 941:
All in all, this leaves me with more count-level-and-above vassals in prison and a +50 opinion bonus to all my vassals for crushing a major revolt(the bonus is 25, but I crushed two).
It also leaves me with thousands of mercenaries that I paid a lot of money for. I revoke the county of Blekinge, get betrothed to the High Chieftess of Prussia(a Danish vassal), and then set the mercs to work.
A lot of work.
Obviously, some other things happened, too, but all these wars were utterly one-sided as I was capitalizing on instability and vulnerability. Some points of trivial interest:
- When a foreign power takes land from your rebelling vassal, you get claims on that land.
- Nearly all of the rebellious vassals complained about their accomodations. Nearly all of them were thrown into the Oubliette.
- I did release a few vassals who had the 'Content' trait, especially if their heirs were more ambitious. Among these were Arngrimr of Rostock, because of his martial abilities.
- The Chieftess of Desmond started the 'Independence' faction shortly after swearing fealty peacefully.
- King Dag of Suðreyjar turns Catholic, which allows me to conquer Veðrafjorðr. Shortly thereafter Chief Jorunn of Lothian takes his crown.
- One of my half-brothers is Spymaster of the Papacy.
- Emperor Csongor Árpád of Carpathia reforms the Tengri religion.
- I spent a lot of time scouring my realm for 'Content' courtiers to grant my new conquests to.
- Granting feudal land to a Lowborn will result in him founding a dynasty, which I think is pretty neat.
- Haraldr of Limisol(South Cyprus) is a Norse Catholic who somehow conquered Limisol from the Caliphate, then he declared Holy War for Cyprus on me, despite only having the single county to draw levies from. He was forced to pay me 4 gold. Then I conquered his sorry butt.
- I become best friends forever with my nephew, the son of Gunnhildr and Sverker.
The rest of the world goes through some changes as well:
Pictured: Friggin' France
Also, I rename a former church in
It is under these circumstances that I, against all odds, grow up:
Everything went better than expected!
To be Continued...
P.S. The event where I became BFFs with my nephew, Geirr Sverkersson, mentioned that I stole a quill from right under the Spymaster's(The Black Princess's) nose. Considering my education trait and the fact that I am alive, I like to believe that Åke is just to plucky to be killed. I like to image a Cruella de Vil-esque tantrum from Gunnhildr every time her plot to murder the child is foiled by blind luck or the power of friendship.
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Great AAR! Enjoying the read immensely. Ake is perfectly fitted to be the most mischievous of bastards. With the black widow at his side, and a high intrigue wife, only the sky would be the limit.
First off, I grab the Improve Diplomacy Ambition to shore up my inherited awful social skills, and grant my BFF Geirr the chiefdom of Devon, that I recently conquered from Cornwall. With my levies now at an all-time high of 14000, I disband the mercenaries I've been conquering about with.
Then it's time for that thing you've been waiting for:
Bishop Hæsteinn of Arsinoë, a bishopric in Cyprus, coughs up 20 gold to be exempted, but his neighbour Mayor Filip refuses to pay up, apparently believing that his crucified god would not forgive him for sponsoring a heathen festival. I am rather confused.
Anyway, every blót is accompanied by a human sacrifice, drawn from the dungeons. And whoo boy do we have a lot of lambs to offer, thanks to both Christians and Muslims sending unwanted preachers to our dungeons.
I would have preferred to hanging all my rebellious vassals, but you don't get to choose these things and non-Norse religions seem to be prioritized. Maybe next time?
Godi Falki of nowhere pukes into Oddr Nobody's lap during the feast, then it's all over.
Trivia: Icelanders, and maybe other Nordic folks too, still hold annual blót, though they involve a lot less human sacrifice and a lot more eating disgusting "traditional" food and getting pissing drunk.
An old lowborn man appears in my court for no reason at all, so I marry him to an equally old woman in my court and grant him my Cypriot holdings. I'd rather keep the rich provinces for myself, but since I'm not married and thus benefitting from a spouse's Stewardship, I'm over my demesne limit. By granting it to an old courtier and sabotaging his ability to produce an heir, I hope to inherit those counties back once I'm happily married.
And then I'm off to terrorize the Mediterranean just like old daddy. I set my sights to Rome at first but find that the Pope has called up an army of 6000 to defend against Åke of Åke's Host's War for Latium. The funny thing is that aforementioned Åke is a Norse-culture Catholic. I can only imagine that he is a recent convert who apparently cannot comprehend that you can't just challenge the Pope to a hólmgang for the leadership of Catholicism.
Instead, I pay our old friends in Amalfí a visit. And Napoli. And Venice - Hey, what's that, now?
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! What will the chest contain, I wonder? A powerful weapon with which I can vanquish my enemies? Scrolls brimming with forgotten lore? The Elixir of Life?
Oh. Nevermind then. I'll just put Constantinople to the sack.
Constantinople has a fort rating of friggin' 12.5!
But it's nothing, really. A Greek army of ten thousand turns up, so we pack our bags and sail into the Black Sea rather than lose a bunch of men in a battle. There are a few holdings in Crimea that are lightly defended, and we help ourselves to their belongings.
I also pick up the Temperate trait. I'm a weird Viking. At least it bumps up my demesne limit. England sends me another sacrificial lamb. Let's hope he survives the dungeons for a few years. King Totil finds himself back on the throne of Denmark. He is currently involved in two wars with the Emperor of Francia as his ally, although they are not listed as allies in each others' Allies tab. Still, I'm unnerved.
I sack Genoa, dragging the Doge's son out of the city. Then I go back to
Anyway, I'm in Sardinia when I find a key that fits to the chest I picked up in Cherson...
Sometimes I just hate this game.
The Petty Kingdom of Suðreyjar is restored to Norse administration. Chief Sörkver, now at peace after aiding his kinsman Chief Jorunn of Lothian, agrees to swear fealty. Despite my extensive raiding, my huge fleet still isn't full, so I land in Rome now that the Pope has disbanded his army. The Emperor of Francia takes the opportunity to avenge his looted holdings and sends 12000 men to relieve the Holy City and we have to escape to our ships just a couple of days before the city would fall. (seriously, Rome had 2% Morale and was losing 8% every 12 days and had been at that point for about a week when I had to leave).
I find a Bishopric in Aquileia and put it to the torch. I'm starting to build up a reputation by now.
Anlaufr is weeping with pride in Valhalla.
Also, my vassal in Skåne is raiding Sárbogárd, the very capital of Carpathia.
Just as I'm filling up the last nooks and crannies of my ships, I get another ill-timed war:
That's to say, ill-timed for them, as I'm just about to send my full assembled army back home.
The follow-up battle gives me the opportunity to gain a military specialization. I am quick to choose 'Heavy Infantry Expert'.
100% warscore is quick to build up and the peasants' leader, Toste, is imprisoned and executed(which is not seen as tyrannical, because I have good reason). Interisting new feature of 1.10/TOG is that peasant revolt characters get the 'Peasant Leader' trait, giving a -5 malus to diplomacy. It may also be because of that trait that I am able to execute him without penalty.
In retrospect, maybe I should have saved him for the next great blót. Then again, it's not as if I'm short of Christians to offer.
Meanwhile, the Catholic vassals of King Grimr of Suðreyjar rise up in rebellion. I help myself to one of them.
Then I conquer Dunbar from the Scottish Count of Innse Gall. SPOILER: I win.
My darling fiancée comes of age in the meantime, and we quickly get married, though she has adopted some weird religious beliefs.
DM;HS
And she's not very remarkable except for her large... tracts of land.
Burgundaholmr converts to the Norse faith. Norse moral authority is higher than it has been for a while.
Mostly thanks to me, I think.
Not Obvious Mechanic: Norse religious vassals give you monthly piety depending on their rank and holdings. Admittedly, I'm not sure what a Norse pagan can do with piety...
Also, I conquer Suffolk from the Catholic King of East Anglia. Boring war again.
I discover a worrying development with my large neighbour to the
Brittany is not a threat in itself and England only a moderate one, but together they could very well threaten our continued existence. Something will have to be done eventually.
But right now it's high time to attend another Althing.
First off, a map of the current situation, along with a list of the titles we may create(we may also usurp the Jarldom of Sjaelland and the Kingdom of Denmark):
I am 22 years old and have established myself firmly as King. The realm is too large to allow a Prepared Invasion, but I can use the Subjugate casus belli against other pagans, but only once every ten years, and I can conquer single provinces from non-pagans, but truces limit me to one province per realm per ten years(I think it's ten years). In between large wars I shall be gobbling up the last of the Welsh minors, that goes without saying. But to where shall we concentrate our larger efforts?
- Subjugate the Petty Kingdom of Suðreyjar! This may earn us a large and possibly unruly vassal. But he will also be of our culture and religion, so he may well be manageable. Challenge: Minimal. They are fresh from a civil war and weak. If England should attack us, our army will be in the area and ready to respond.
- Subjugate the rest of de jure Denmark! Challenge: Moderate. Denmark is only slightly weaker than we are, but their base of power is in the Baltic. They may have difficulty protecting their western lands, especially with an underage king. However, fighting them will mean that we leave our lands open to a possible English attack.
- Subjugate S[weed]en! This would earn us two Holy Sites, putting us just one short of reforming the faith. The remaining two, however, are both held by the Karlings. Challenge: Hard. Sweden has been able to frustrate East Francia's efforts to reconquer Ostfriesland for several years. Although they are losing now, it's a testament to their strength that they could hold out so long in such a distant holding against such a powerful kingdom. I have no doubt that we could defeat them, given our human ingenuity and vast wealth, but it could turn into a long slog, with our lands open to English aggression.
- Subjugate no one! Use our base in Cyprus and just go wild on all the monotheists!
Furthermore, what shall be our policy on the creation of new titles? I have been avoiding creating titles of equal rank to my primary title so as not to take the risk of splitting my realm up due to an untimely inheritance(right now I lose some lower titles but everything remains inside the same kingdom). I have also been avoiding creating duchies so as not to have to deal with powerful vassals(how well did that work out?). However, it might be easier to deal with a few more powerful vassals than have to juggle a multitude of lesser ones.
- Create/usurp all the titles!
- Create/usurp all titles of lower rank than our primary!
- Keep title creation/usurpation to a minimum!
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Go for Suthreyar and create some nice-looking borders in Scotland and Ireland. Create the titles of Ireland, Cyprus, Mecklenburg and Skane for a fun succession! Absolutely love this AAR.
This AAR is amazeballs! I say go for Dennmark and hold of with those titles untill you become emporer.
I say create all duchies, but no Kingdoms, unless you have enough territory to create an Empire.
I suggest Sudthreyjar, then nibble away at the other rulers on the british isles. You're too big for an invasion, but you can still snag the occasional province with the conquest cb. Emperor of Britannia should be doable in our young King's lifetime, allowing him to create/usurp other kingdoms without splitting the inheritance.
While doing this, one must of course remain vigilant for opportunities to plunder.
I suggest Sudthreyjar, then nibble away at the other rulers on the british isles. You're too big for an invasion, but you can still snag the occasional province with the conquest cb. Emperor of Britannia should be doable in our young King's lifetime, allowing him to create/usurp other kingdoms without splitting the inheritance.
While doing this, one must of course remain vigilant for opportunities to plunder.
Eat the Danish, create the Kingdom titles, and crown your son emperor of the north sea to retrace Knut.
I'd say that your first priority should be to keep your faith, so Sweden is the main target. Also with that amount of money you can pretty much defend anything england throws at you with mercs, not to ention the Jomsvikings, they are free if defending against some other faith. With titles, I'd say keep them on a minimum now, if you have a secure elective succession from reforming then go ham, and create ALL the titles, as well as some nifty empire(s). Also its good to see hungarians having a succesful history for a change
Go Vikings!
Go Vikings!
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As for expansion: I believe this is a multiple choice question. So, first 1, then 2, then 3. Pillage ALL the coasts!
Sweden made itself the only possible target after their interference during the boy king's rebellions. They must pay for holding the holy sites from the true norse king, they must pay for their interference, and they must pay it with every life they have. 3!
Title-wise, the family would dare to break up the kingdoms of Iceland and Ireland in succession, and so the kingship of ireland must not exist. But some of those duchies sure would be okay to exist, so 2!
Title-wise, the family would dare to break up the kingdoms of Iceland and Ireland in succession, and so the kingship of ireland must not exist. But some of those duchies sure would be okay to exist, so 2!
Denmark as I do not like half-completed job and one as the sums of money and prestige you are receiving are so disgusting that gavelkind should come knocking in order not to control the world by 1000 AD .
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I say, look if there is any chance to cause civil strife in Sweden. Gavelkind succession or whatever. Meantime you could deal with other directions.
And great AAR, enough for newbies to get posting!
And great AAR, enough for newbies to get posting!
i would say Sweden but England is a worry, they are prob likely to attack while your busy in Sweden so i suggest Subjugate the Petty Kingdom of Suðreyjar to strengthen your position, and 2 for the second one, and great AAR , just cant stop reading it, keep up the great work.
