We Can Not Sow - An Icelandic Old Gods AAR
- Thread starter Werewhale
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Not a member(yet), but I've read a number of Let's Plays there. I especially recommend Flamboyant Schemers, a CK2 Let's Play. It's restricted to users only right now, but sometimes it's available to non-members(I don't know the mechanics behind it).
Voting tally:
Good: 2
Neutral: 4
Evil: 1
Looks like we'll be pulling a Switzerland. Thank you Alþing, I shall begin the session momentarily.
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Following the advice of the Althing, King Sturla decides to ignore his son-in-law's pleas for help. Which might be just as well, as the Catholics in Frisia declare several separate Holy Wars to reclaim Zeeland, which Tolir had conquered a couple of years before.
While the war rages on, I finish mopping up the Irish and disband the Irish mercenaries that I had been employing for a dozen years, as I can now draw enough levies from my new territories to trounce any remaining Irish minors. I also move my capital to Connacht to enjoy the better technology in the province, and supposedly to gain access to more mercenaries, but I am disappointed to see that I was wrong in the latter.
I leave Ossory be for the moment, as I want Ossory to snag Vedrafjorðr(the country south of Ossory) from Suðreyjar so I can later snag it from them in turn. Also, they have an oversized army from an old revolt or something. Not something I can't handle, I would just rather not waste the men. Leinster-Desmond is having Leinster conquered from them by my vassal, the Chief of Oriel and Desmond by some vassal of Jorvik.
Which reminds me of how scary Jorvik is looking:
Also, King Tokil manages to end one of his many wars, possibly because Sigfroþ couldn't find anything to siege that someone else wasn't sieging already.
You can see me raiding the Dutch coast. That's because I spent almost all my money building new shipyards in Connacht, in order to allow me to transport my growing army, so I can get some real looting done.
I also find myself a hobby:
Meanwhile, my wife dies, lowering my demesne limit, much to my dislike. I generate a random courtier that I can hand off Kildare to, but he turns out to be Ambitious, so I instead arrange a marriage with whatever lady has the best head for numbers, raising my limit, and so I keep the Chiefdom for the moment.
Meanwhile, King Tolir loses his crown:
Wait a minute, isn't that the same Sigfroþ that white-peaced just a couple of years ago?
He is now just the Chief of Veðrafjorðr, in Ireland.
Trivia: Veðrafjörður means "Fjord of Weathers," and is the Norse name for Ormond. Sigfroþ, or Sigfróður may be literally translated as "Victory-Knowledgeable," or "Someone who knows how to win a fight."
The change in leadership has the rather silly consequence of nullifying a whole lot of wars that King Tolir was most decidedly losing, including the Ossoryan Holy War for Munster:
"Hey guys, the Norsemen just switched kings. I guess we'll all just have to go home now..." - Leader of the Frisian Rebellion.
I'm out at sea, raiding Aquitaine, when I receive some rather disturbing news:
Meh, I have another daughter, and the alliance had become useless. Chief Tolir marries a lowborn girl to replace my daughter. Also, my
Ho, phew!
With my improved infrastructure, my raiding forays are blossoming into even more lucrative enterprises:
With 1900 raiders now at my command, I set sail to sack the (second) greatest prize in the Mediterranean:
Pallestrina, the barony holding, takes too long to reduce, so I embark again and set my gaze to the Eternal City itself. Regrettably, the bishopric of Rome has too large a garrison for me to siege, so I take anything not protected by the forts and raid Genoa instead. Lucky for them, my ships fill up before the city falls, sparing them a proper sack.
You are spared... for now.
Raiding is much quicker now that we don't have to sail all the way to friggin' Iceland to get our paycheck.
Now that we have no reason to let Ossory be, we snag em up.
That will be the last Irish landholder, excepting the Earl of Leinster, who is being conquered by the Chief of Argyll(my vassal, Chief of Oriel, didn't have the men to siege down the secondary holdings).
I keep the new county as well as the local Temple(or Goðorð) just in case my annoyingly fertile wife should produce
Ah, there we go. He'll make a fine Goði.
Pictured: Viking religious leadership.
Then I randomly generate Filip of Galway to become the new Chief of Ossory. Then it's back to raiding.
Interestingly, this has no effect on Catholic Moral Authority.
Now that's some serious booty. I cash in 200 gold and prestige and inherit Ossory because the courtier I gave it to kicked the bucket. Rather than generate another, I hold on to it for a couple of months until my grandson comes of age, then grant him Strangfjordr so he can get his viking on.
WHAT THE THOR'S NUTS? By Hel's frozen yogurt-shop, that may be the worst viking ever. Really, beautiful penmanship?! He can't even grow a proper beard! Look at him!
Note to self: Educate your heir's heir yourself.
To be continued shortly...
- 1
I take my frustrations out on the muslims in Cádiz, in Andalusia, where an Emir is in the middle of a revolt against the monstrous Umayyad Sultanate. I also continue my hobby.
Poor Úna. We hardly knew ye.
Meanwhile, both my son and grandson are busy raiding as well. Beata grants me another son, called Alfr(meaning Elf. No, really). She seems mighty pleased with herself. Since there are no Irish minors left I am reduced to revoking a temple from whoever has the lowest opinion of me. Since I have been a ruler forever, I can absorb the opinion penalty.
In June 910 I add 270 gold to the treasury.
But for my next raid I am able to call up a whopping 49 ships. I set sail to Bremen, an isolated Prince-Bishop under the distant King of Aquitaine. I find some more interesting loot there.
This is why you want to sack holdings rather than just raid the provinces.
While in Bremen, I find an opportunity to improve my learnings with the aid of an old hermit living in a cave(still closer to his neighbours than anyone in Iceland).
Also, I comission a runestone to be erected in my name:
Of course, none of my sons could deign to inherit my strength.
You are really getting on my nerves, Beata.
At least my ceaseless raiding is FINALLY getting some recognition:
To celebrate, I sack Venice all over again.
My grandson is also raiding, but spoils the good moment by showing up in Ireland without a beard at all:
WHAT THE HEL IS YOUR PROBLEM STURLA
My fleet of longships return home with a whopping 490 gold, but I can do better. The next party takes 58 ships to tour the seas. We see that Asturias is embroiled in a war with the Muslims, so we raid their northern coast, only to find 17000 angry Christians bearing down on us. We discreetly leave the area and raid the more palatable(read: defenseless) King of Cornwall. That's when we notice that Paris is mostly undefended, as the King of Aquitaine has called the levies elsewhere. Finishing up the sack of the castle of Lydford, we sail up the Seine to assault the Frankish jewel.
Sadly, the Franks turn up with 17000 men to see us off just as we are investing the actual city of Paris, and we are forced to retreat and pay another visit to the poor sod in Bremen. I send word to Ireland to spend the money from previous endeavours on military buildings to increase our army. After Bremen is looted, we go back to finish the secondary holdings in Cornwall, before returning to Paris to hopefully complete the siege of the city now that the army has probably disbanded.
Sadly, I never get to see the siege finished.
Everyone hates me. Even my own beardless son is seditious.
Note the 0 in Diplomacy.
With Gavelkind making me unable to grant my son more titles, I am forced to find another method of getting rid of two counties. Arngrimr af Hlidarendi receives the dubious honour of being made the Jarl of Iceland, receiving both counties.
At least I finish my father's work:
I finish up the Bishopric of St. Denis as well before the Franks manage to drive us off with a show of force. We relocate to raid Holland instead, and my half-sister Aslaug grows up.
Our father's true inheritor, if the gods were just.
My Marshal, Chief Fredrik of Oriel, founds a faction to install my brother, Þórmundur, on my throne. Luckily, he finds no takers in the realm, but he is still listed at over 40% power.
In Toulouse, I sack a barony even though my ships were full. I was actually just not paying attention, but everyone else took it as a sign of my savagery, giving me a much-needed +15 opinion bonus.
So here I am, up to my chin in ill-gotten loot, my court somewhat mollified, and no Christians left in Ireland to conquer. My father moved the Althing to Connacht, so that's where I'm going now for some further advice.
Here's the current situation:
I present four choices:
- Stay the course! Keep raiding for loot and conquering small minors in the area(there are still a few left in Wales). Our vassals are too unruly to stay put while we fight a difficult war!
- Prepare an Invasion! There are several possible targets. Our total levy is listed as 6545*
- King Totil of Denmark has forsaken his old gods and been baptized in the name of Christ. We should relieve his people of his infidel rule! Total Levy: 6000 or so.
- King Osræd 'the Great' of England? Let's put that epithet to the test! Note that his realm has exceeded the 40-holding maximum for the Norse Invasion mechanic, so we will have to cut him down to size with Conquests first, or wait for a rebellion. Total Levy: 3013
- The Kingdom of Brittany is weak, but borders the great Karling kingdom of Aquitaine, who might take offense to a Norse presence in his backyard. Total Levy: 3000 or so.
- The Kingdom of Suðreyjar is our principal rival, destroy them! (We can use the Subjugate CB to take or vassalize all titles within a kingdom, do we complete our rule over Ireland or go for their heartland in Scotland?) Total Levy: 10000
- Conquer a base in the Mediterranean and raid even faster! Mallorca and Cyprus are both vulnerable to attack. By taking them we could greatly speed up our raiding routine. Total Levy: Irrelevant. I would attack someone with little ability to ferry his army to the contested land.
*But the Military screen shows only about 3000 available men. I think the "Total Levy" listed in the Realm Tree window is based on how much the lord can raise if he receives the full levy of his vassals(as if they had 100 opinion of him). This would also mean that the available levies of the other countries is smaller than what is listed here. Also, I have no idea how many men I may expect to receive while Preparing.
The vote will end tomorrow when I am ready to play the next session, or 24 hours after this post.
- 1
I believe he destroyed an under construction church, and only looted the hel out of the main one.
BTW, at this point historically Iceland wasn't the, um, bountiful natural Paradise of today, but actually had substantial forests and such. It was only later, after pillaging their own lands natural wealth, that the Icelanders Could Not Sow.
I've had good fun with a similar game. Any idea what the deal is with the weird chest? I've gotten that event as well, but nothing came of it.
Edit: I vote invade Denmark. A fleet of heathen Vikings leaving Ireland to conquer Denmark is just too funny. Also, hold a great blot already!
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Maybe it's cowardly to harm a helpless prisoner? I'm more interested in why "Drunkard" carries an opinion penalty with religious lords.
The Danish King has shown he's unworthy to rule his people, by following the dead God on a cross. Take his lands!
Take back Denmark in the name of Odin! And capture Cyprus if you have time afterwards.
A god nailed to a stick versus a god with a hammer? Yup, take Denmark and stop the spread of this ridiculous Christianity!