• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Werewhale

First Lieutenant
81 Badges
Sep 11, 2009
236
61
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sengoku
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Warlock 2: The Exiled
  • Magicka 2
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • 500k Club
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • Victoria 2
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Europa Universalis III Complete

Well I always intended to wrap up my Latin Empire AAR before moving on, but I just couldn‘t pass up the opportunity presented by the new expansion. Those who remember my Crovan AAR may feel discouraged that I should start again in a similar region, but I couldn‘t resist the title. Unlike Saltborn, I shall be writing very closely to when I am playing, rather than playing several decades ahead. Thus, you will get the opportunity to influence the direction I take, loosely role-played as my character seeking advice from the Althing, a proto-parliamentary institution that developed in medieval Iceland to settle disputes between chiefs.

Furthermore, I shall be playing with Dorrit‘s Iceland is the Most Biggest Country in the World mini-mod, which I created just for this AAR. It just adds Icelandic as a culture, makes the Duchy of Iceland part of de jure Kingdom of Iceland, and adds a titular North Sea Empire, which I hope to form(needs three kingdom titles, at least one in Britain and one in Scandinavia). I‘m also playing with The Old Gods, so we won‘t actually see Icelandic for several updates.

Anyway, let‘s get down to business:

In 867, Iceland is divided between two chiefs: Ingólfr Arnar(a household name in modern Iceland for being the first permanent Nordic settler in Iceland) ruling the western half, and Garðar Svavarsson(a nobody that wikipedia tells us just stayed for one winter in Iceland but still tried to put his name on it(Garðarshólmi. I wonder why it didn‘t stick...)), ruling the eastern half. I shall be taking the eastern half, but making my own ruler to usurp Garðar‘s place.



Trivia: The Sturlungar, founded by Hvamm-Sturla, were an influential family in Iceland in the early 13th century and played a major role in the Icelandic civil war period. In fact, the period is generally called Sturlungaöld, or Age of Sturlunga. This Sturla is a few centuries early, but I do not think historical accuracy will be one of our major concerns.

Sturla is a brilliant strategist, specialized in Heavy Infantry warfare, strong as a mountain and ugly as a rock, lecherous, gluttonous, patient, arbitrary, cruel and a blubbering drunk to boot. The perfect viking, really.

Note also how many vassals I have. Yes. Zero. Nil. Núll. Most barons in the game are more powerful than I am. This will be Fun.

Trivia: The etymology of “Sturla” is not entirely clear. It may have its roots in “styr”, meaning war or discord, but the ending –la is often used to denote something small. So Sturla may mean warrior, mean man, or little fighter. In modern Icelandic, “sturlaður” means “mad” or “crazy”. A fitting name, I’d think.

The first order of business is securing the succession. I find a lovely maid in the house of Chief Ketill of Mann, named Þordunn. She shares my patience and talent for strategy, and possesses a fiery passion.


She also hates my guts. Apparently, being Strong does in no way make up for having a face that could turn milk sour and food into Icelandic national cuisine.


And these are the more palatable examples.

Now let’s take a better look at our situation:


Ah. So not only is the Chiefdom suffering from an awful lack of talent, but apparently everyone is deeply regretting following me into settling this barren island. I wonder why?


“This looks like and excellent place to settle down and establish an agriculture-based lifestyle!” – Not a Sane Person

However, word reaches my ears of a seeress, a völva living in a run-down hut several days ride from civilization(and yet she’s my neighbour). Such a woman has powers beyond the kens of mortal men, and so I invite her to my court so as to benefit from her prophetic visions. When she arrives, however, I find her to be an irresistibly attractive young woman of only just over 22 winters of age. I immediately take her as my concubine, earning myself her undying hatred.


After my conquest of the völva’ssecrets, my lecherous behaviour and ghastly visage are becoming the talk of the town village living room of my chiefdom.


But though sticks and stones may break my bones, words will never be repeated when I have the speaker’s tongue cut out. I begin to dare anyone to speak ill of my visage by strutting about and showing my snout into everyone’s faces. Apparently people now consider me proud.

Anyway, a quick look at the finances reveals that we have no finances. No, really, I get like half a coin every month. This must be rectified.


My mother told me the best way to earn money was to save money. Sound advice, right? At the current rate, I will fulfil my ambition in oh about 83 years.

It is at this time that I recall the ancient words of my clan(that’s to say, I just thought of them last night).

We Can Not Sow.

No, really, we can’t.


Not Pictured: Arable Land.​

So we take what others sow. Let’s review our options.


I pack my raiding gear(Torches. Check. Battle-ax. Check. Helmet. Check. Pillaging handbook. Check), call up my entire levy of 291 warriors and set off towards Tyrconnel, Ireland. I find the Irish levy already assembled, all 317 of them, getting ready to aid King Ælla of Northumberland against the Heathen Army. But they will be no match for my strength and superior tactical skill.


Whoops lol nevermind!

Cue several months of building up my levy before setting out again. I can find which provinces are vulnerable by clicking them and checking their available levy. I see that Connacht is entirely drained, but once I arrive at their shores, I find out that they are all standing in the province. Having learned from my previous battle, I wait for a few days until they move out. Then I move in and steal everything that isn’t nailed down(that is, protected by the fort. Sieging even a small castle is beyond me at this stage). I raid Thomond, too, for good measure.


We move on to Desmond, but their response surprises us while we were distracted by all the exotic green blade-like plants that cover the ground in this land. I try to pass my blunder off as bravery. Surprisingly, many seem to believe me.


I return to Iceland with 49 gold, or about eight years’ worth of peaceful growth.

The following years pass by in much the same manner, though I find myself frequently forgetting my raiding gear at home and have to repeat the weeks-long journey to retrieve it before I can start looting the Celts(stupid “Toggle Looter” button…). Somehow, in the midst of making off with a particularly well-crafted Irish sock, I receive news that my wife has given birth.


Due to the logistical difficulties of encountering another person in Iceland, Icelanders developed a system to reproduce with the use of spores.​

Trivia: Anlaufr means… I have no idea. Google is no help and I do not recognize the words, unless they mean “Without-Leaf”

After taking all the junk from those Irish too weak to defend themselves, I start to expand my operations are to the northern coasts of the Frankish kingdoms. I am in Boulogne, nicking a dress embroidered with an enchanting pattern of flowers, when word reaches me that my Steward had been killed by an angry mob of peasants while trying to extract taxes. I also find out that I do not have a single man in court able to even do simple additions.


To be fair, it may have been unwise to try and tax a people
Who Can Not Sow.​

My hot mystic woman bears me a son in October. She suggests that we name him Guðmundur. She’s so funny. I tell her his name is Þórmundur.

Trivia: Þórmundur means Hand of Thor. Guðmundur means Hand of God.

In February, I return to Iceland with my ships brimming with all sorts of loot from the Celtic and Frankish peasantry, netting me 70 gold and prestige. Looking over at the border, however, I see that Ingólfr has been raiding the Muslim Caliph himself. I swear to upstage him later and keep on harassing the Irish(you may assume that whenever I do not explicitly state that I am doing something else, then I am raiding the Irish).

Garðar Svavarsson, historical Chief of Austisland(which I have renamed to Austurland by now), is discovered to be openly plotting to have me murdered. Before I can throw him in the dungeon(hahaha just kidding, we don’t actually have dungeons, we just put them in an outhouse and take their clothes, then they can’t go anywhere without freezing to death), he is able to flee to the court of Chief Valdemar of Bedford, a vassal of the King of Jylland.

Meanwhile, I start to work my way south past Brittany, grabbing some Frankish wine and disappearing before their armies can respond. Feeling ambitious, I sail around Iberia and enter the Mediterranean only to see the Republic of Amalfí embroiled in a war of conquest. I seize the opportunity and raid the rich Italian coastline.


Just before I finish packing things up, the merchants’ army turns to drive me away, but I slip out of their grasp. A quick stop in Sardinia fills up the remaining empty space in my longboats and then I head home to cash in another 70 gold and prestige.

I don’t stay home for long, but immediately sail to the Baltic and land in Weligrad, just east of Lubeck. I outnumber the fort garrison by 3 men so I hope to siege them and claim some real loot for the first time, but an outbreak of sickness among my men stumps my efforts. I sail up the river Elbe to raid some German minors, frustrating any attempts by the East Francian King to corner me.

Another Steward dies, this time from natural causes, and I am forced to generate a random courtier in order to avoid employing a steward with 0 in stewardship. Thankfully, Sigbjörn turns out to be okay, at 12 stewardship.

That’s when I spot a golden opportunity for expansion:


[HR][/HR]

Next time: Sturla meets the Muslims! The Greeks never expected the Spanish Invasition! How many times can Sturla forget his friggin' raiding gear? And finally, the first reader participation event! (As soon as the mods give the go-ahead, as I think you need approval for interactive AARs)

- Approved by Qorten
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • 1
Reactions:

Duke of Awesome

Field Marshal
15 Badges
Jul 1, 2009
2.514
466
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Darkest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
This is hilarious, I'll be reading this.
 

Machiavellian

Alternate Historian
49 Badges
Jul 9, 2003
2.329
33
Visit site
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
  • Stellaris
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • BATTLETECH
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Tyranny - Tales from the Tiers
  • Tyranny - Bastards Wound
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Shadowrun: Dragonfall
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • Stellaris: Lithoids
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria 2
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Pillars of Eternity
A very fun read! Great beginning.
 

roplox

Colonel
74 Badges
Jun 29, 2012
834
153
  • Cities in Motion
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cradle of Civilization
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Victoria 2
  • War of the Roses
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Hearts of Iron IV Sign-up
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Cities: Skylines - Campus
  • Europa Universalis IV: Golden Century
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis IV: Dharma
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Cities: Skylines - Natural Disasters
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Divine Wind
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
Excellent AAR! The nonexistent skill of the player is superseded by the great storytelling and jokes.
 

Werewhale

First Lieutenant
81 Badges
Sep 11, 2009
236
61
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sengoku
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Warlock 2: The Exiled
  • Magicka 2
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • 500k Club
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • Victoria 2
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Europa Universalis III Complete



As I approach the coast of Carrick, Count Cadwr calls up the levies of his baron-level vassals to hold me off.


In this they are rather quite unsuccessful, netting me the first real battle victory in this AAR.

But then I see another red army to the north...


Ah, it seems I am not the only one that spotted this prize. But if that‘s all Barid can muster


This game is so stupid. I didn't even get any loot. (Note to self: Always Toggle Looting when fighting a war of expansion) I retreat to Iceland to lick my wounds and pretend I‘m not at war. It ends inconclusively as soon as Barid seizes the county, saving me from losing prestige for accepting a white peace. Meanwhile, Þordunn gives me another son, Valdemar.

Trivia: Valdemar is the same name as Vladimir, meaning powerful ruler/chieftain.

After being cheated at Carrick, I set sail for the Mediterranean again and manage to fill my ships with some more unprotected belongings of Amalfí, as they are occupied with conquering Naples. After that, I take junk from Genoa, as they are fighting a war against Italy, and then strike gold in Northern Africa, where the Mezwarid Sultanate of Africa is busy invading the Rustamid Emirate to the west. One province has 52 gold outside its fort and I‘m all too happy to fill my ships to bursting.

Next up I sail by river to the center of Russia before realizing I left my raiding stuff at home again. I then manage to take stuff from a couple of Russian minors before sailing to the Levant, where I find that the Bardunid Emirate is pitifully weak and just begging for a raidin‘.They do manage to organize a response, but I am able to fend them off, learning some new tricks along the way.


But before going home to cash in my loot, I spot and even juicier target. A Spanish adventurer by the name of Miró, leading a great host, has assaulted the Byzantine Empire, seeking to establish a realm of his own on the southern coast of Anatolia. The Basileus has called up his levies, leaving his personal demesne ripe for raiding.


Varangian guard this, little man!

I cash in the loot and raid the Frankish coastline. I lose the Brave trait randomly. When I cash in the next check I find my son torturing a rat. We had a very bonding moment over its anguished cries.

A raid on Cornwall finishes up my final raid for the moment.


Contrary to all reasonable expectations, I have fulfilled my ambition. My coffers are bursting with Irish socks, Dutch dresses, French shoes and Greek hats. I really am awesome, but it‘s time to make the trip to the Althing, where I will give gifts and listen to advice on what I should do next. I will take advice to heart, but in the end, the final decision will rest with me.

Firstly, what should I spend the money on?
  • Mercenaries to conquer land as soon as possible?
  • Infrastructure to get more levies so I can finally siege something?
  • Build another holding in Austurland and thus double my realm size peacefully?

Secondly, where should I direct my expansion?
  • Should I wrap up Iceland before turning elsewhere?
  • Should I go for the Irish before someone gets there ahead of me? (Note that the Irish seem to be very willing to come to the aid of those under attack by the Norse. I may be unable to fight only one at a time)
  • Should I try to take lands in the Baltic?
  • Should I take lands from fellow Norsemen?
  • Should I perhaps just keep raiding for now and see if an opportunity presents itself?

Since I'm an impatient bastard, today you will only have twelve hours to put forth your advice.
 

Cordeos

Sergeant
58 Badges
Mar 18, 2013
88
13
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Magicka
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III Collection
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Cities: Skylines - Natural Disasters
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • BATTLETECH
  • Surviving Mars
  • Hearts of Iron IV: La Resistance
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Colonel
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Victoria 2
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
Mercs + Irish
This. Considering you have almost no land, expansion is the way to go IMO. Plus with some sowable land you can get more gold and men to raid with. The writing in this AAR is great, I will definitely follow it.
 

Konnigratz

Thoroughly Useless
93 Badges
Dec 29, 2009
435
9
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Magicka
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Lead and Gold
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Cities in Motion
  • Cities in Motion 2
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • For the Motherland
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Darkest Hour
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • 500k Club
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
I'd also go with using mercs to expand in Ireland. Iceland may be infinitely bountiful and tremendously fertile, but you'll need more lands.
Also, definitely following. It's fantastic so far.
 

Duke of Awesome

Field Marshal
15 Badges
Jul 1, 2009
2.514
466
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Darkest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
Once you unite Iceland under your glorious banner, Ireland should be your target. Buy mercs to end them quickly!
 

BanterCaliph

Banter Caliph
72 Badges
Nov 25, 2011
121
5
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Stellaris
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Rome Gold
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Cities: Skylines - Natural Disasters
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Crusader Kings III: Royal Edition
  • 500k Club
Build another holding in your home province with an aim to unify all Iceland under your rule in a few years.

Raid a load more and opportunities like Carrick might arise again. After more raiding you'll have expanded your home realm and have enough cash to hire mercs to unite Iceland if your levies are still insufficient.

That's what I'd do :)
 

Athalcor

AWOL
38 Badges
Aug 8, 2010
5.248
246
  • Cities in Motion
  • Magicka
  • March of the Eagles
  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • The Showdown Effect
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Steel Division: Normand 44 Sign-up
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • War of the Roses
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Magicka: Wizard Wars Founder Wizard
  • Humble Paradox Bundle
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Dungeonland
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Impire
A Werewhale AAR! Consider me hooked :).

Also: mercs + Iceland
 

Werewhale

First Lieutenant
81 Badges
Sep 11, 2009
236
61
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sengoku
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Warlock 2: The Exiled
  • Magicka 2
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • 500k Club
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • Victoria 2
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
WE CAN NOT SOW
(Banner removed from this update to comply with 20-images-per-post rule)

At the moment when I begin the session(19:09 GMT, about an hour before the deadline but I like to live dangerously), the voting tally is thus:

Financial policy:
  • Mercs: 5 votes
  • Found new holding: 1 vote

Expansion policy:
  • Ireland: 3 votes
  • Iceland: 3 votes

So my goal will be to hire mercs, steamroll the founder of my nation, then blitz through Ireland. There's just one problem.


You see, I have just seven ships. I need 17 to ferry the smallest mercenary band available(you can't split a mercenary band). It does look like I'll have to go expanding without the mercenaries. Or does it? I have a cunning plan, see...


But if they need 17 ships to get off this island... how did they get here in the first place?

It takes two months just to march over to Ingólfr's land, where I handily annihilate his 370-man defense with my Irish mercenaries and invest his holdfast.


Pictured: An Icelandic castle.

And here's where I put my devious plan in motion. By ordering the Irish to assault the fort earlier than would normally be considered advisable(I order my own levy to march back to Austurlan in the meantime, sparing them from the bloodbath), I can ensure that they suffer enough losses that the remnants may fit into my ships and I can then ship them off to force their fellow countrymen to submit to heathen rule. It's a foolproof plan!


Ah. Competence strikes again for the first time.

Back to square one. At least I can call myself King, if a petty one, thanks to the new patch's system of having some independent dukes of some cultures call themselves (petty) kings.


Apparently, kings can't wear helmets... what utter bullpoop.

I now have to wait two years for the "Recently Conquered" modifer to disappear from Vestisland, before I can even start to think about taking provinces from Ireland. But while waiting, I have a funny little event.


Only when I've sobered up do I realize that I should have asked what the Hel an exotic African caravan was doing in Iceland.

My wife grants me a daughter which we name Gríma. I purchase her love with a gift of the most magnificent horse* in Iceland.

*pony

The "Recently Conquered" modifier expires in Vestisland, but I still need time for the levies to fill up. I set my Marshal to speed up the training, then take my boys out for some raiding. The Irish are at peace at the moment and so are too well prepared for such a small raiding party, so I end up spending most of my time on the northern coasts of the mainland. My Spymaster, Steinn af Kirkjubaer, nicks some technological secrets from Constantinople, netting me a few tech points. I also complete my first raid siege of the AAR, but my ships were already full so I didn't actually get any loot. Still, from my non-AAR game as Prussia, I have found that looting holdings(rather than just the provinces) gives you a lot more money and can give you a number of interesting and beneficial events.

I return home with 50 gold and prestige(I only have 5 galleys now that my Marshal is not in Austurland increasing the levy size) and I spot something that may very well change things quite a bit...


Oh my. The Irish Band has apparently been on the wrong side of a recent battle. I have no use for 165 men, but mercenaries reinforce over time, and while they are so depleted, I will only pay a fraction of their listed cost. I hire them quickly before someone else gets to them. With Vestisland now providing seven ships(with Marshal boost), I can ship 1200 men, but the Irish will reinforce up to 1900. So I can ship them while understrength, and they will grow to full potential in Ireland. Now I just have to pick my first target.

First, I check the available levy each Irish earl can call upon, and decide to go for Tyrone. But just as I'm about to declare war, I have the sense to check his alliances and see that the Queen of Scotland is his sister-in-law. So I pick on Connacht instead, as he has no allies at all(but interestingly, his two vassals, a bishop and a mayor, are his friends, with a +100 opinion boost. How cute).

As I approach the Irish shores, I see that he has readied his levies for my attack. Since littoral assaults have not fared well for me in the past, I decide to land in neutral Tyrconnell instead and march on him by land.


Earl Muiredach then surprises me by calling in an ally he brokered during the battle somehow. He calls... the Duke of Brabant.


Also pictured: Karling shenanigans.

The war goes as might be expected when you outnumber the enemy by a factor of ten.


Next up is Breifne, as that will allow me to create the Duchy of Connacht, which will mean I have the two duchies needed to form a kingdom. The Kingdom of Iceland, to be precise. The first battle goes as might be exp


Oh thank Thor, I was beginning to think I was writing the wrong AAR!

Gamer's Note: It seems that Paradox may have nerfed a previously viable strategy of "stick all your units onto one flank, win everything". This isn't the first time a flanked or unsupported unit has performed surprisingly poorly. Or it may be that the enemy army had a much larger contingent of heavy infantry while the Irish mercenaries are mostly light infantry and archers.

My mercenaries retreat to Connacht to meet up with the levies I have drawn from Iceland(it takes a few weeks to get to Ireland). At that moment, my son Anlaufr becomes an adult.


Hey! My helmet!

I betrothe him to Svanhildr, Chieftess of Chester, a vassal of the King of Jylland. Meanwhile, Breifne calls in her husband the King of Gwynedd, but since he has just been thrashed by a peasant revolt, I am not terribly worried.

The second battle of Breifne goes better, with me and my son each leading a flank beside the Irish mercenaries.


Meanwhile, my second son, Þórmundr, has come of age, but with a very different skillset. I grant him a title in my newest conquest.


Giving him a religious title means that he will not get any of my titles due to Gavelkind. Right now, Anlaufr is set to inherit Austurland and the Duchy of Iceland, while his brothers get everything else. Which I think sounds like he's getting shafted. So my challenge will be to grab enough temples to give secondary sons to make sure my burgeoning kingdom doesn't fall apart. And there's no use trying to grant my primary heir titles beforehand; I can only give him titles that fall under my primary title. Or something like that. I am at least unable to gift him the county of Breifne in order to get me under my demesne limit, but I can and do give him Vestisland.

In other news, I am made aware that I am not a moment too soon in moving on Ireland:


In 867, there is a single-province Norse Chief in Nantes(southmost county of Brittany). I really expected him to be conquered in the first year but instead he hascompletely taken over the Breton king of Brittany and now seeks to add more Celts under his banner. I need to step up my game or miss out.


Not pictured:
  • Brittany falling to liberator rebels that then form the Kingdom of Brittany, with an Irish earl seizing their Irish conquest.
  • Me taking a break from conquering Irish to go loot some Mediterranean provinces and boat-hopping along Anatolia with 3000 cataphracts on my heels.
  • Anlaufr having his brother killed for no reason at all and pinning the blame on a random courtier. I'm torn between being annoyed and impressed.
  • My daughter-in-law in Chester declaring a war on independence on Jylland... by herself.
  • Throwing the newborn son of Earl Fergal of Ulster into the dungeons after a successful siege(seriously, he was 0 years old).
  • Casually torturing my son's scapegoat over the course of several years.
  • Four-county Norse Chief randomly turns Catholic and gains independence.

While I'm gobbling up Irish minors as if they were Danish pastries(which reminds me), my daughter grows up, prompting me to find a suitable groom for her. I find one that may offer me a very valuable alliance indeed:


The Petty Kingdom of Suðreyjar is ruled by a descendant of Ivar the Boneless, and is one of the major players in Britain. An alliance with them may not only serve to dissuade others from attacking me while I am getting my powerbase set up in Ireland, but may also turn their attentions elsewhere, as they already have two provinces in Ireland and I'd rather they didn't take more.

But just as I'm finishing up my conquest in Tyrone...


It's time to consult the Althing once again(wait, do we still meet in Þingvellir, in Western Iceland? Isn't that a bit silly now that we have more subjects and more levies in Ireland? Just a thought). Our son-in-law is fighting a five-way war for the throne of Suðreyjar, as well as an opportunistic Irish minor holy warring them for one of their Irish counties. Surface impressions suggest that each of the five norse factions is about equally matched, but that means that it's highly unlikely that our ally will be the one to come out on top, making our alliance all but useless. I would say that our intervention would most likely mean victory for King Tolir, but it will be a long slog and Sturla does not have very many years left in him. But propping our brother-in-law up on the throne would earn us oodles of prestige and his loyalty. Although his loyalty might be suspect, as he is homosexual and thus his opinion of us suffers due to my many traits that affect sexual attraction negatively.

For consideration, here are the current balances of war:
  • Ossoryan Holy War for Munster: 2% in favour of Earl Ceallach of Ossory
  • Hakon of Argyll's War for Suðreyjar: 26% in favour of Hakon of Argyll
  • Sigfroþ of Norfolk's 2nd War for Suðreyjar: 7% in favour of King Tolir of Suðreyjar
  • Bersi of Teviotdale's War for Suðreyjar: 4% in favour of Bersi of Teviotdale
  • Barid of Lothian's 2nd War for Suðreyjar: 19% in favour of Barid of Lothian

Also, Barid of Lothian has imprisoned our daughter.

We are currently at war with Earl Aileach of Tyrone, but their castle has fallen so the war should be over in a couple of months, quicker if we bite down and assault the remaining holdings.

As I see it, we have three options:

The "Good" option: Do our duty and aid our brother-in-law. It's what's right and it will earn us a lot of prestige(fighting in a war as an ally nets you more prestige in battles and sieges than as a primary belligerent). We will also get a bunch of loot from sacking rebel holdings and can probably collect a prisoner or two to ransom.
The "Neutral" option: Stay the Hel away from that fustercluck. We don't need more prestige and we can afford the loss of face from dishonouring the alliance better than we can afford the waste of time and men. Just keep gobbling up the Irish while everyone else is distracted.
The "Evil" option: Take advantage of the war and seize his Irish holdings while he is tied up elsewhere! (Note that attacking an ally will cost us 50 prestige and attacking someone defending from infidels, in this case the Catholic Earl of Ossory, will cost us 100 prestige)

Deadline will be sometime tomorrow. Most likely in about nine hours, but votes after 24 hours, should I delay for so long, will not be counted.
 
Last edited:

Konnigratz

Thoroughly Useless
93 Badges
Dec 29, 2009
435
9
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Magicka
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Lead and Gold
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Cities in Motion
  • Cities in Motion 2
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • For the Motherland
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Darkest Hour
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • 500k Club
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
It's a brutal world, and pragmatism should take precedence over anything else. Be "evil" and take his weakened holdings!
 

sandeth

Private
66 Badges
Aug 21, 2008
23
33
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Cities: Skylines Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Rome Gold
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Darkest Hour
  • Commander: Conquest of the Americas
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Field Marshal
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Steel Division: Normandy 44
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Steel Division: Normandy 44 Deluxe Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV: La Resistance
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cradle of Civilization
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Colonel
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Hearts of Iron IV Sign-up
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • 500k Club
what is your current strength? i think if your able, help out your brother in law, every little bit helps . but if need be go neutral. . .
 

Comm Cody

I am the one who outs
73 Badges
Dec 28, 2010
806
131
www.youtube.com
  • Sword of the Stars II
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Semper Fi
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Deus Vult
  • Darkest Hour
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Imperator: Rome Sign Up
  • Cities: Skylines Industries
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Stellaris: Lithoids
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Colonel
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Victoria 2
  • War of the Roses
  • 500k Club
  • Surviving Mars
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
I was going to say that this AAR reminded me of Saltborn.

Then I looked at the authors.