• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Saltiren

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Hey guys, first AAR here. I've always wanted to write an AAR, but never got around to it.

But let's get started, shall we?

Here is a map of the area:



I plan to go after Avignon. They won't stand a chance!



HOW DO WE HAVE NAVAL OFFICERS IF WE ARE LANDLOCKED!?
You know what, nevermind. Eu3 logic...

I just want to get this assault on Avignon going as fast as I can, but only one thing stands in my way:


SAAVVVOOOYYY!!!

I plan to try and build my economy before I start the assault, so I start sending merchants to Venezia. We will become the richest country the world has ever seen!


Aquileia even took notice of our greatness and guaranteed our independence. Like we will even need that. And afterwards Sicily also guaranteed us our independence but posting a screen of that is somewhat redundant.

Some guy named Guglielmo said he could make our merchants better at competing with other merchants. SIGN ME UP!



We are becoming so rich and powerful that Savoy finally decided to let us through so that we don't have to rampage through their lands.



Genoa and Naples also got scared and guaranteed our independence aswell. Soon all the nations will bow before me! But before that can happen, I am going to declare war on Avigno-



NOOOOOOO!!! I BET SAVOY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS!!!

I am going to take out my rage on... Savoy? No not yet. Ferrara? I wish, but no. But who will have the wrath of Mantua fall upon them!?



RAGUSA! YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF 2,000 MEN POUR UPON YOUR PITIFUL COUNTY!
I also managed to get Venice, Aquileia and Hungary to let me through.
That would be helpful except in my BLIND RAGE I could not read that Ragusa was at war with Hungary.
My hopes and dreams crushed yet again. Well, because we are in the area why not stop by our good friend,
MONTENEGRO.


Well that was surprisingly easy.



Mantua now owns 2 counties! I am truly the greatest empire in the world!


And here is the map of Europe:


And to end off the first chapter of the AAR, is this WONDERFUL event!



Tell me about your opinions on this AAR, I personally thought the images were too large. I honestly think I am going to lose Zeta and probably get annexed. I will at least get to say I tried at an AAR right? Thanks for reading guys. :p
 

Saltiren

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Oh my god, you replied to ME. You are the best Eu3 player of 2013! *Faint*

And thanks, it means a lot! I just don't like Ferrara because to get to southern Italy you have to do through them. Their little territory blockade annoys me. :p
Also, I've only had the game about 4 days but I have logged 200+ hours on Ck2 in a month and half so I know my way around Paradox games. So don't be surprised if I make nooby mistakes, that the BEST EU3 PLAYER WOULD NEVER MAKE. :rofl:
 

Saltiren

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But I have to wait 50 years for Zeta to become a core province before I can use a boat. The only province I have a core on that is coastal happens to belong to none other than Ferrara. But currently Ferrara has strong allies and the HRE behind it so it won't be going anywhere soon. *Sigh*
 

Saltiren

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After conquering Zeta and getting out of the mosh pit that is known as Italy, King Francesco I looked towards the Balkans to begin his next conquests. But the Serbians living in Zeta had other plans...


We decided to give the rebels their little demands to shut them up for a while. After they drained our coffers already empty from the war I had to take a few loans. But then Aragon did something a bit strange...

Eu3 logic strikes again! Anyways, our government technology improved and we got a national idea. Because we are the trading masters of the world, we choose Merchant Adventures!

Remember that loan I mentioned way back like, 2 sentences ago? Well it came back with a vengeance.

I actually didn't realize I took a loan THAT large. But I was able to pay it off, it about crippled my economy.
MERCHANTS. GO ON MORE ADVENTURES!
Merchant: But sire, there is something in the sky!
King Francesco I: What is it, a bird?
Merchant: No, it is a signal of the end of times!


King Francesco I: Get out of my sight, you crazy peasant.
Merchant: :c
And it seems the King cannot get a break.
Generals: King, we think that we should go on the offensive more!
King Francesco I:...WE JUST CONQUERED ZETA! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY MEAN!?
Generals: That was years ago. The other countries are laughing at us!
King Francesco I: WHAT!? NOBODY LAUGHS AT THE BEST EMPIRE EVER SEEN! WE SHALL CONQUER THEM ALL.
Generals: Yes sir.


Soon after this conversation, Francesco felt a pain in his chest. He assumed it was nothing. He laid down to get some rest.


...he never woke up.

The head priest said that he died in his sleep of what looked like a heart attack. Must've been all the yelling.

BUT, another thing is important about that screenshot. See that little green country at the end of the Balkan peninsula? Yeah, Morea.
...THAT MUST MEAN THE BYZANTINES ARE LEFT WITH ONE PROVINCE!
*evil laugh*
Squire: What is so funny, sire?
King Francesco II: What? Oh, nothing. What is that you have there?
Squire: 'Tis a herald from Savoy.
King Francesco II: What do those mongrels want?


King: ...
Squire:...
King:...

Anyways. On to more pressing issues.
Once a severe weakness was found in the Byzantine Empire, we were willing to strike at once! Those Heretics will burn
.


With our force of 2,000 war-hardened, seasoned veterans with murder in their eyes, we marched across the Ottoman lands to the last stronghold of the Roman Empire. Francesco II would not be leading this force, as he and his squire were still staring at the herald from Savoy.

Looks like the soldiers did not need the King to lead them this time.



The war raged on, and the Byzantines could not muster a force capable of defeating the well trained Mantuans.
Another regiment of men were trained and sent to Thrace to reinforce the men.
And they also brought dire news...


The head priest said he simply did not eat. He just stood there reading that parchment over and over until he died from dehydration, lack of food, lack of sleep, and he suspected some sort of stroke also affected him.

The soldiers were not saddened or disheartened by this news. They were emboldened by this! They fought the walls of Constantinople until every last brick was reduced to rubble.
A refugee Byzantine Citizen said
"...all of us cowered in fear at the force attacking the walls. They were ferocious, and all they did was attack with bloodlust and kept yelling "SAAAVOOOOOOOYYY!!!
"...."

Needless to say, The Mantuans won this war.




Also, what did you guys think of the dialogue I put in there? I may have been 'inspired' by a certain Highlander's AAR...
And I can't guarantee that updates will be constant or this soon either, I have studies for finals soon and such. It's really fun doing this and I plan on doing another update soon!
 

skirider7

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This has been quite funny so far, keep up the good work! It's good to see the glorious City of Constantine in the hands of Italians again ;)
 

Saltiren

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This has been quite funny so far, keep up the good work! It's good to see the glorious City of Constantine in the hands of Italians again ;)
Ah yes. It was sad that Constantinople had fallen and the Romans were no more, but great that it is in Christian hands and not the evil heathens of the Ottoman empire.
 

ATBKING

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HAHAHAHA!!! Everyone screaming SAAVVVOOOOOOOY!!!! Dialogue is great. Thrace came out of a great war. Going through two kings in one chapter seems a bit much though. Hopefully the ottomans dont feel like Burgundy did when I took a rich city from under their nose. Then again your safe since Ottoman cant get to your capital. Also, I wonder who that inspiring Highlander is?? He seems like a nice lady.
 

vasziljevics

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I like silly little AARs so consider me subscribed - it is also kind of nostalgic for me to watch people still bothering themselves with In Nomine and other archaic stuff...
 

Saltiren

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I like silly little AARs so consider me subscribed - it is also kind of nostalgic for me to watch people still bothering themselves with In Nomine and other archaic stuff...
Yeah, I was really itching to get Eu3 so I coughed up $15 instead of $30. Still a great game!
 

Saltiren

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Is this dead or am I just impatient?
I haven't had a chance to play, there have been family health issues, huge tests coming up, ect. Have patience, young one.
(Also I feel like if I play again I will get curb stomped by a real army and loose. :p)
 

Saltiren

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Hey guys, the save file became corrupt. Every time I try and load the file it doesn't work. I might try another AAR later, but for now I am going to be playing The Old Gods for Ck2. :)

Thank you all for reading. Glad I could have such support on my first attempt. And honestly, I didn't know what I was doing. xD