Eochaid opened the door of the bAAR with one powerful kick. Immediately everybody stoped speaking and even the vets turned around to see what was going on. Wearing a big black leather trenchcoat and a white t-shirt reading "Go ahead punk, make my day!", Eochaid slowly walked in the saloon, looking into every customers' eyes in a very intense and creepy way. As if he was trying to cow people into submission.
Surprised by Eochaid's unusual roughness, Norgesvenn carefuly unhung the mirror behind the counter.
Finaly Eochaid jumped on a table in the middle of the room and began to speak with a booming voice:
"-
Okay punks! Some of you here put the word on the street that Lord Durham needed fake teeth and MrT wore a toupee! This I will not allow!"
Very slowly Eochaid takes a huge .44 Magnum out of his pocket and points it up so everybody in the room can see it.
"- This baby is locked and loaded guys! So if you want to say something silly, the question is: Do you feel lucky? Do you punks?"
For the first time in a long time the bAAR is completely silent. The only sound one can hear is the buzzing of a big fat fly just wandering in the room. Finally the fly stops and lands on shawng1's cheek. Satisfied by the lack of reaction, Eochaid continues his speech.
"- All of you know that Lord Durham and MrT are Canucks! So I'd like to point out to you some of the particular features of the Cannucks in order to make this gossiping stop! Here we go:
- Canucks have very long, sharp and solid front teeth that never stop growing. They use them to cut down the trees they need to build their huts in the forest (usualy not very far from a river, even if they only drink alcohol. Nobody knows why they do that)
- Cannucks are very hairy. Every male Canuck (and sometimes the females as well) is literally covered with a thick brown fur to keep him warm during the nine-month long canadian winter.
- Cannucks have a very powerful vocal organ. However they only use it to yell either "TIMBER!" when they cut a tree, or "BARTENDER, THE SAME!" when they are thirsty. When adressed they only mumble, but never say something actualy audible.
- Cannucks are excellent EU2 forum administrators and librAARians. Nobody knows why exactly, but we're all very thankful."
Eochaid jumps off the table and lands on the ground with a big THUMP.
"-Thank you for listening ladies and gentlemen and have a good time in the bAAR."
Eochaid walks to the counter and orders a beer. Norgesvenn gives him a draught beer before going back to cleaning the glasses.
"- Did I get to frighten you Norg?
- You wish kiddo... And next time you wanna stand on one of my tables, clean your shoes.
- Okay... sorry Norg.
- Where did you get your gun anyway?
- Well it's just a flag gun see..."
Eochaid pulls on the trigger and a tiny red flag with "BANG" written on it cames out of the pipe of the gun
- By the way kid, you owe 25$ for the beers you had last week.
- Well Norg, I'm glad you mention it because unfortunately I don't have the money with me and..."
Norg doesn't look happy about Eochaid not having the money and starts walking around the counter to get hand on him. Eochaid runs out of the bAAR before Norg can catch him.
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PS: I hope that wasn't too scarry! And I also hope that canadian people around here have a good sense of humor. Otherwise it might not be a good idea for me to attend the 2003 AAR CON...