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Had to laugh at the way you achieved both those annexations :rofl:. I don't know how you come up with the ideas.
Very nice indeed. I do love the way you can gain cultures. I think though it is time to consider dealing with the blemish that was the Battle of Tours. Paris should clearly be the next challenge for the advisors. 
Nice. But maybe you should have waited a bit longer to annex Castile so you could learn even more of the new world.
Exploration is Portugal's job.
I can't wait for Advisor 3 to get sent to the new world once 1 & 2 get themselves a new king that they can safely ridicule and manipulate.
I can't wait for Advisor 3 to get sent to the new world once 1 & 2 get themselves a new king that they can safely ridicule and manipulate.
I want to clarify a few things. First of all when you annex a vassal you do NOT recieve their exploration. Stupid but true. The 3 sea provinces I did find were because of the colonies I recieved. In any case I'm going to let Portugal simmer for a bit before I annex them. That way I'll get some rich Brazilian provs.
For those of you clamouring for a Battle of Tours 2.0. Calm down. My army tech is still zero due to crappy advisors and previously horrible income.
For those of you clamouring for a Battle of Tours 2.0. Calm down. My army tech is still zero due to crappy advisors and previously horrible income.
Wow, it's almost unbelievable I missed this AAR...
Anyway, catched up reading and enjoying it very much! Keep going!
Anyway, catched up reading and enjoying it very much! Keep going!
I'll give you the exact specs when I get home. I can imagine Algiers increased it somewhat.
Duke of Wellington said:
Thanks for appreciating my humour. (This is meant at all of you)
Also; You've written that I am writing a Burgundy AAR in the LibrAARy. Please change it. (This is meant at DoW)
My BB is actually up at 20 now. Which puts me in the danger of Vassal BB wars. That's right Portugal/Aragon might decide to have their revenge
Dysken said:
I was sort of planning on finding someone named Selim I and asking him to play.
Yay! My Hero!Rocketman said:I like it, especially the annexations in the last chapter.
If you like this AAR you owe it to yourself and Rocketman to read his massive Bavaria AAR. It is from there I copied/adapted the literary style. It is massively funny and stretches from Vicky (vanilla) -> CK -> EU2 -> Vicky (rev) and AFAIK will continue onto HOI2: DD.
But enough groveling. Here follows the next update.
Throwing buckets of money at people OR How I learned to stop worrying and love the Portuguese. PART: IV
ALT
You give me your money and I'll give it back to you, that way everybody wins OR When diplomacy goes bad. Part II
Throne Room:
Muhammad XII: *shaking and rocking back and forth*
Advisor 1: Sir! What is it?
Muhammad XII: The metaphors, they are everywhere! They are out to get me!
Advisor 2: Stop being silly. Literary metaphors can't kill people? Can they?
Muhammad XII: Really?! Then what do you say about this? GUARD!!!
Guard #1: Y-y-y-es sir?
Muhammed XII: Say "be" until I tell you to stop. Or I'll have your head!
Guard #1: Be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be.
Muhammad XII: Now stop!
Guard #1 ceases to be
Advisor 1&2:
Muhammad XII I will give you two this one last mission. If you succeed I will make you my heirs! Advisor 1&2, make Granada proud!
Muhammad XII: And now for your mission. You are to annex Portugal for me. Unite the Crowns of Granada, Portugal and Castille. This is my last wish.
Advisor 1&2*bows*
-------------------------------------------------------
Advisor 2: So what exactly do we have to do to make you hate us less?
King Miguel I: Well for starters I would like to have the streets of Lisboa made out of gold. Think you can do that?
Advisor 1: No problem sir. We have the entire state treasury at our disposal.
King Miguel I: Excellent. We'll talk about the rest later.
A few years later
Advisor 1: Excellent; now about that annexation
King Miguel I: Still don't trust you enough. How about you make sure that my s*it sparkles first.
Advisor 2: Way ahead of you sir. *hands over a bag* Just sprinkle some diamonds on your food before you eat.
King Miguel I: Ah, I don't give you enough credit. Well I'm in the mood for a surprise. You think about a good way to lighten my mood.
A few days later
Advisor 2: Ah! I think we have the exact the right thing for you Miguel. We are going to cast your royal highness in gold.
King Miguel I: Sounds good a statue is perfect! To the foundry gang!
*spinny picture*
A few hours later
Advisor 1: Good now sign here, here, here and here. It's your life insurance waiver.
*Miguel I signs*
King Miguel I: Wait! Why do you want me to waiver my insurance? And why do these documents say; "Insurance Waiver", "Annexation of Portugal"; "I'm a stupid moron" and "Pope Clemens II is a pompous Manatee"?!
Advisor 1: Oh, no reason your highness. Boys! Throw him in!
*A band of foundry employees throws the king into the molten gold which is obviously floating around in the foundry tanks*
King Miguel I: Nooo!
A few minutes later
Foreman: Its time now; Boys hoist up the statue!
*An exact replica of King Miguel I flipping off the beholder is retrieved from the gold*
Advisor 2: It is so beautiful.. *sniff*
*Dysken: The world now REALLY hates me.*
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Muhammad XII: Well done my friends, now fight to the death to see who succeeds me. I will go order your coffins in the meantime. Would you like velvet on the inside or not?
Muhammad XII has gone to meet his (coffin)maker.
Muhammad XII: Not now! Not in my moment of triumph! Urgh!
Advisor 2:*Pulls out a scimitar from his scabbard.* Now it's my time to shine!
Advisor 1:But I thought we were BestFriendsForevers?!
Advisor 2: We'll always be BFFs, but you won't be king!
Advisor 1: Fine... one last hug?
Advisor 2: Fine *tear in eye*
*Hugglez*
.....
.....
*The two advisors start glowing in a very anime-like manner*
*Distinct rumble*
*Glowing grows stronger*
Deep voice: By the power of friendship combined I am.....
... A half assed king?
ALT
You give me your money and I'll give it back to you, that way everybody wins OR When diplomacy goes bad. Part II
Throne Room:
Muhammad XII: *shaking and rocking back and forth*
Advisor 1: Sir! What is it?
Muhammad XII: The metaphors, they are everywhere! They are out to get me!
Advisor 2: Stop being silly. Literary metaphors can't kill people? Can they?
Muhammad XII: Really?! Then what do you say about this? GUARD!!!
Guard #1: Y-y-y-es sir?
Muhammed XII: Say "be" until I tell you to stop. Or I'll have your head!
Guard #1: Be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be.
Muhammad XII: Now stop!
Guard #1 ceases to be
Advisor 1&2:
Muhammad XII I will give you two this one last mission. If you succeed I will make you my heirs! Advisor 1&2, make Granada proud!
Muhammad XII: And now for your mission. You are to annex Portugal for me. Unite the Crowns of Granada, Portugal and Castille. This is my last wish.
Advisor 1&2*bows*
-------------------------------------------------------
Advisor 2: So what exactly do we have to do to make you hate us less?
King Miguel I: Well for starters I would like to have the streets of Lisboa made out of gold. Think you can do that?
Advisor 1: No problem sir. We have the entire state treasury at our disposal.
King Miguel I: Excellent. We'll talk about the rest later.
A few years later
Advisor 1: Excellent; now about that annexation
King Miguel I: Still don't trust you enough. How about you make sure that my s*it sparkles first.
Advisor 2: Way ahead of you sir. *hands over a bag* Just sprinkle some diamonds on your food before you eat.
King Miguel I: Ah, I don't give you enough credit. Well I'm in the mood for a surprise. You think about a good way to lighten my mood.
A few days later
Advisor 2: Ah! I think we have the exact the right thing for you Miguel. We are going to cast your royal highness in gold.
King Miguel I: Sounds good a statue is perfect! To the foundry gang!
*spinny picture*
A few hours later
Advisor 1: Good now sign here, here, here and here. It's your life insurance waiver.
*Miguel I signs*
King Miguel I: Wait! Why do you want me to waiver my insurance? And why do these documents say; "Insurance Waiver", "Annexation of Portugal"; "I'm a stupid moron" and "Pope Clemens II is a pompous Manatee"?!
Advisor 1: Oh, no reason your highness. Boys! Throw him in!
*A band of foundry employees throws the king into the molten gold which is obviously floating around in the foundry tanks*
King Miguel I: Nooo!
A few minutes later
Foreman: Its time now; Boys hoist up the statue!
*An exact replica of King Miguel I flipping off the beholder is retrieved from the gold*
Advisor 2: It is so beautiful.. *sniff*
*Dysken: The world now REALLY hates me.*
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Muhammad XII: Well done my friends, now fight to the death to see who succeeds me. I will go order your coffins in the meantime. Would you like velvet on the inside or not?
Muhammad XII has gone to meet his (coffin)maker.
Muhammad XII: Not now! Not in my moment of triumph! Urgh!
Advisor 2:*Pulls out a scimitar from his scabbard.* Now it's my time to shine!
Advisor 1:But I thought we were BestFriendsForevers?!
Advisor 2: We'll always be BFFs, but you won't be king!
Advisor 1: Fine... one last hug?
Advisor 2: Fine *tear in eye*
*Hugglez*
.....
.....
*The two advisors start glowing in a very anime-like manner*
*Distinct rumble*
*Glowing grows stronger*
Deep voice: By the power of friendship combined I am.....
... A half assed king?
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Yes, I'd have to say that you aren't making many friends with all these actions. So how much had Portugal settled before you annexed them? And how long until Aragon follows suit?
