1.) Can your men suffer from attrition when over the suppy limit in your own provinces and occupied provinces? Or no?
Yes. Attrition is taken whenever you are over the support limit, even during peace. The limit in enemy provinces is just much, much lower. The one exception is that no attrition is taken during battle, so you can reinforce engaged armies without a penalty.
2.) I finally see when you're at the peace table with a nation you can see what will give you infamy and what will give you prestige and sometimes both. Because my BB is SO high still I don't want to take cores, but looking at all other options it feels like I can't gain territory nor make them suffer. Thoughts and suggestions when it comes to this game mechanic?
If you go to war, you must select a Casus Belli, a reason for going to war. If you do not have a CB, you will take a -2 stability hit, and suffer infamy. If you have a CB, you won't suffer the infamy or the hit. Specific CB's give specific 'discounts' and benefits when negotiating a peace. The 'Reconquest' CB for instance allows you to claim cores without taking any infamy for it, but if you take another province, you will pay 4 infamy per province. Using the 'Holy War' or 'Excommunicated Ruler' CB's allow you to grab provinces for 1 Infamy per province.
Go to the Ledger in the bottom-right of the screen, click on the scroll at the top, then go a few pages further, and you'll find a list of all the countries you have a CB on.
3.) As i mentioned, Im at war with Milan and one of my missions is to take over province "X". I occupy province "X" as well as others of Milan. How come when I bring up negotiations that province isn't even on the list? I do know it's very high population, but not sure if that means anything or not. Also, any suggestions on how I can obtain it?
You can only demand provinces that you occupy yourself, if an ally has it, you are out of luck. In this case you are talking about the Italian Ambition mission on Milan, which demands Lombardia. Lombardia is the capital of Milan, and you can't demand a capital region, unless you annex the whole country, or unless the province is landlocked and isolated. So either annex them completely or grab the neighboring provinces, then claim Lombardia 5 years later when the truce runs out.
4.) Will taking cores and annexing ALWAYS give me infamy? I notice I rarely declare wars, they're declared on me and I always win and then push back. If I declared war for certain CB's will I not gain infamy when taking cores and annexing?
As a defender, you will always take 3 infamy. Declare war yourself using 'Reconquest'.
Thanks guys! I feel im abusing this thread, but I can't pass up the great feedback. I'm learning fastest through this tool and support from you guys
Your questions are good and to the point, that isn't abusing the thread. Others may learn from reading.