Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales)

[phargle]

Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

As told with many pictures. And few words.

(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

1083 - 1085

My opinion on the Almighty remains unchanged.

Knud Knýtling: 1

Mob of outnumbered, leaderless peasants: 0

The people of Denmark will surely cheer my name for years.

This kid's really starting to get on my nerves.

Yoink!

Even in the dark ages, the caller of Yoink! was entitled to certain rights.

I'm flush with men.

I shall use them to bring Bornholm to its knees and proclaim myself the duke of Skåne.

Knud Knýtling, you're a genius.

Although you probably shouldn't say things like 'I'm flush with men' too often . . .

The plan was simple.

Hardeknut. Yet another child whose name I will intentionally mispronounce.

God, if you can hear me, I promise not to send this child to church if you let me conquer Bornholm.

I hate God. And myself.

It's a good thing the enemy wasn't outnumbered twenty-two to one or this would really suck.

Oh.

The enemy suffered twice as many casualties as they had men on the field. We suffered only one.

That casualty was me.

​

Is this the end for Knud? What will become of Halland? Can our heroic prince survive this - and perhaps even realize his dreams? Recoil in horror as Knud stares his mortal enemy in the face in the next exciting episode of the saga of Knud!​

 

[phargle]

Knud's depression.

The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

As told with many pictures. And few words.

(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

1085, the long year

I'm the only casualty in battle and became severely wounded.

Then my brother took over the siege.

And it's one of the the places I need in order to become duke of Skåne.

Surely life cannot get worse than this.

I want to die.

I cannot even get enjoyment from sending my problems to church.

I can at least spread some misery by marrying my bastard children off.

Przybyslaw, my mortal enemy. Still he lives. I cannot declare war 'til he dies because of my father's truce.

Thanks a lot, dad.

I violate my promise to God. In all fairness, He started it.

Accursed religion, why do you vex me?

Some day, religion and Knud will face each other and religion will have met its match!

Starting tomorrow.

What's this? A miracle-worker offering to cure my wounds?

I would gladly pay! Except I'm a little short on cash right now, so please make sure this works.

It's a good thing I have lots of gold, or this would really suck.

Oh.

The funny thing is I started out my career ill. I can handle this.

Look out world, here comes Knud!

​

Can Knud finally destroy his nemesis and conquer Rügen? Will illness slow him down, or will Knud realize his dream and become the duke of Skåne? You'll never believe the way it ends in the final chapter of the thrilling adventures of Knud Knýtling!​

 

[Mishgan]

Simply the best AAR ever. Screenshots taken at the best moments, few words that contain loads of good taste cynical humour.

I simply love it, looking forward to the last chapter impatiently

 

[phargle]

The fall of the House of Knud.

The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

As told with many pictures. And few words.

(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

1085 - 1088

Valdemar. He's everything any of my sons could be: a bastard.

I add him to the succession.

Maybe his bloodline is more pure than I thought.

If you recall, Torben was my first son but turned out to be fathered by another man.

Something spooked him. He must've met his mother at the nunnery when I appointed him diocese bishop.

Fleeing to Iceland. . . ale. . . now why didn't I think of that?

I marry Valdemar to Helena, a Swedish princess who looks like a bulldog.

My father's failure to find anyone within five hundred miles willing to marry me seems less damnable these days.

Sigfred is my oldest legitimate son. Accepting Valdemar into the succession bumped Sigfred into second place.

I hope that doesn't come back to haunt me.

It's been two years since my wound was cured and I've finally paid off the debt.

It would've been cheaper to just die.

I'm not ready to die, though. Knud Knýtling has too much left to do.

My income is up to 8 ducats a month.

That's after conquering Skåne because it was lost to the pagans in an expensive war that I started.

Knud Knýtling, you're a genius.

My brother the king went to war with Prussia, so he will probably demand my armies.

I need my armies to conquer Rügen and declare myself the duke of Skåne, but Pryzbyslaw hasn't died yet and we have a truce.

Time is running out. I declare war anyway.

It's a good thing I have lots of health, gold and prestige or this would really suck.

Oh.

The plan was simple.

In fact, with four thousand men at my command and the king's armies away in Prussia, all I need to do to win and become duke is show up.

Or I could randomly die during the battle for no reason at all.

And let some random marshal get the glory and become count of Rügen.

And see my rather small demesne inherited by Valdemar the bastard.

At least, in death, I can finally escape the church. . .

. . . you've got to be kidding me.



The sound of epic bardic songs,
But no, he's easily forgotten
Beware, for glory this prince longs
In Denmark, something there is rotten

Knud Knýtling! Knud Knýtling!
A genius he's not
Knud Knýtling! Knud Knýtling!
He hates his dad a lot

Knud: His parents were unwed
Knud: He could just be a bastard
He's Knud and often it is said
That Knud could eas'ly have died faster

Knud Knýtling! Knud Knýtling!
Beatified and pissed
Knud Knýtling! Knud Knýtling!
He won't even be missed

fin

​

 

[phatkarp]

Bravo!

 

[unmerged(8915)]

just one word: wow

 

[Mishgan]

Haha! Bravo! Bis! Bis! :rofl:

And to be more complete, this is truly an excellent AAR. Simply because it is not full of text. Now, being a law student, I already have to deal with quite some huge texts, so you will understand why seeing a gigantic "War and Peace" like AAR really spooks me. I do not say they are bad, but in my spare time, I would like something with less words under my eyes.

This one, however, is simply excellent because it contains few words, but that strike the message precisely. And I love the pretty pictures

 

[oggbogg2]

Are there going to be a follow up? The exciting and scary adventures of Valdemar Knytling, the near-bastard?

i would love to read that one!

Fun!

 

[unmerged(50489)]

At least, in death, I can finally escape the church. . .
. . . you've got to be kidding me.

I have to say this one cracked me up. Someone just couldnt escape hes destiny.

 

[phargle]

Miz: The irony of Knud becoming blessed really made the game for me.

Mishgan: There's a time and a place for a sober and serious AAR. Chronicling Knud in such a fashion would have been a gross injustice. It might have earned one less 'Bis!' as well.

Ladislav: 'Wow'? I hope that means it's good.

Byakhiam: I tried to change things up a bit. The church joke fades a bit, but as you can see it's the punchline.

phatkarp: *bows* - your name's awesome, btw.

CSK: One word, thanks.

Veldmaarschalk: Thanks for reading!

binTravkin:

Pirate Z: Thanks for reading!

Snake IV: It's a poor substitute for the Savoy AAR, but I hope you're enjoying it.

EvilSanta: I don't know if I'd call my ideas brilliant, but I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Rythin: I don't know if I'd call my ideas brilliant. . .

Oh, and to people saying 'Best AAR ever!', I direct you to the best AAR ever.

Oh, one more thing . . .

oggbogg2: Valdemar's is an epic tale of pride, greed, glory, and Finns. It has sex, heresy, and two popes. There's plenty of screenshots if there's interest in hearing his tale. I've also got most of the sequel (The Once and Future Knud) shot. Once I got into the habit of F11 whenever something important or funny happened, it was hard to stop.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Glad you liked it.

 

[Mishgan]

Once I got into the habit of F11 whenever something important or funny happened, it was hard to stop.

I know how it is. I mean, sometimes there are moments in the game that really make your day, such as this one in my current game with the United Kingdom of Ireland, Wales, Scotland and Assorted Other Duchies Until I Finally Get To Conquer England:

I just absolutely had to make a shot of this one

 

[Cat Lord]

This was a hilarious short AAR.

My ribs still hurt because of constant giggling.

Thanks.

Cat

 

[coz1]

Knud did all he could, but I guess the plan wasn't as simple as he thought, or he should have invested more in trusting God.

Funny stuff, phargle.

 

[Riddermark]

Amazing AAR - I really loved the part of "my mortal enemy Przbyslaw" lol that just was a killer.

Brilliant! You deserve a cookie! No 2 boxes of them

 

[stnylan]

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

 

[Imrryran]

Wonderful ! :rofl:

 

[Cidonia]

Hilarious from beginning to end! Knud is indeed a genius

 

[unmerged(23127)]

It was a nice little AAR...
Though I didnt find it "funny", I rather saw it as a good realistic story of humans...
First it reminded me of a Poem or a Song... Wasnt sure if I should sing the text or just read it... Anyway, I then started to look at your AAR as a Comicbook, with a lot of good pics, and little text...
And in the end, it actually reminded me of Blackadder!!!
And because of all those thoughts in my mind, I have decided that I like your AAR... Hoping to see you write some more... Rather Sooner than Later...

 

[phargle]

Watch this space.

. . .it's coming. . .

 

[Riddermark]

woooooooot