Bril-liant! nothing more to be said about it. Read up now since may, and it's incredible.
In the Shadow of Certain, Painful Doom: Abyssinia
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Wow. You're a quick reader. Of course, I had to take frequent breaks because I was laughing too hard...
The Zagwes
They really think they are rid of Sennar, rid of the Order, rid of the baboons, rid of tej, rid of the peasants, don't they?
Please ignore my snickering!
They really think they are rid of Sennar, rid of the Order, rid of the baboons, rid of tej, rid of the peasants, don't they?
Please ignore my snickering!
Ahh, but the Zagwes have never been known to be wrong before... Oops, sorry. Wrong universe.
Yes, it was probably biting off a bit more than could be chewed.
Good advice on taking something. And I agree about assaults. If you don't have enough to assault, you probably won't be successful, because eventually some big holy defender army will appear out of nowhere, so it's a race against time to finish it before it gets there.
Everything can only go for the best, surely.
Hmmm? The Fatimids? Abyssinia?
Muahaha!
Oh boy, this will be good
It's been changed to elective and her half-brother elected as the heir. So I won't need to switch the console when she dies. The Zagwes will proudly live on!
The tradition of never winning any land by combat? Yes, that is a time-honored tradition indeed in this dynasty. Marriage and assassination can squeak by, but war-gain land, never.
Pray that Tesfaye be with your enemies, actually. Then you cannot lose!
Count Tesfaye, Patron Saint of So-Bad-We-Hope-He-Helps-Our-Enemies
Baboons are effective, yet fickle weapons, unfortunately.
Maybe a baboon v. baboon war, since both sides have them. Baboon escalation? Baboon disarmamant?
Thank you so much! I am happy that you enjoyed it.
Hopefully for him it is the tej.
Hmmm... I never thought about the connection of the heir with Theophano. Life in World Zagwe just got more complicated.
Thanks!Count me with the "Avoid the spirit of Count Tesfaye at all costs" caucus.
Holy Men charge a premium to keep the spirit of Count Tesfaye away.
Thanks! If not baboons, the Zagwes will manage to find something unpleasant that plagues them wherever they go. It's in their blood. Regarding the half brother, he will get whatever part of the duchy she manages to hang onto. But if everything goes well with her heir's betrothal, his heir will inherit three duchies. Basileus will have to sit up and take notice of *that*.
I appreciate it. Thank you!
Thanks, Rfish!
The Zagwes
They really think they are rid of Sennar, rid of the Order, rid of the baboons, rid of tej, rid of the peasants, don't they?
Please ignore my snickering!
As you will see with this next post, Africa is never too far away.
Chapter 75
The night before we issue our declaration of war to the infidels, I have another dream about Abyssinia. Again I dream that I am the last Christian monarch reining in Abyssinia, with one of my Ethiopian armies drawn up in front of the gates of Fasilghebbi Castle in Gondar before dawn. As they chant my name with love in their throats, the sunlight breaks over the mountains to the east. Carrion birds circle far above, knowing that they will feed well on the bodies of my enemies before the sun sets again. I wake knowing what I must do.
My generals gasp in surprise—and I would even think I detect a note of horror—when I announce the next morning that we are changing our declaration of war for… the Duchy of Gondar. I tell them firmly that I will not be satisfied until I am the next Queen of Abyssinia. I do not judge them for the many sideways looks that I see among them. It is to be expected from the many who are satisfied with pettiness.
Initially I plan to supplement my 4,200 levees with 7,200 Turkish mercenaries. My theory is that hiring both of the ve Emba brothers at the same time will cause them each to try to outdo the other in my service. But then I remember that I can call allies to arms.
My dynasty alliances finally come to fruition. I am able to call not only Doux Neophytos of Sicily, but also Basileus Alaxandros of the Byzantine Empire. I am very excited by this last addition, until I realize that the Basileus Consort rules only the small duchy of Galilee. Oh well, every little bit helps.
Surely “careless” here is referring to his stoical view of the world. Let’s hope so, anyway.
Instead of the ve Emba brothers, then, I will hire Captain Etrek “the Careless” of the Cuman Company, altogether giving me 7,700 troops under my direct control. My allies will amount to 2,000 troops, who will doubtlessly wander randomly over the countryside helping me little other than providing possible targets for angry infidel armies. It is only after I hire the mercenary company that I learn that its leader is known for being craven. This is not a good sign.
As my army sets out for far away Africa, Monophysite Demetrios Kantakouzenos dies “of natural causes,” which is the official version for his real cause of death, which was a freakish explosion in his alchemy laboratory. He had not left the room for weeks, having his food delivered to him, when the explosion was heard throughout the castle. Upon investigation, we did not find a scrap of his body anywhere, just charred clothes and burnt personal effects. There was, however, a powerful odor of singed hair, which then pervaded the castle and took weeks to finally dissipate. I had always liked kind Demetrios, despite his abhorrent heretical beliefs.
Again? Please, Lord, grant me a breather.
Owing to some deficiency in his intelligence, my ally Mikhael takes his army far ahead, despite my generals’ exhortations to wait for the main body of our host. This is not a good sign. Strangely, though, from the messages I receive as my army marches continually south, it is quiet among the infidels. There are only small bodies of their warriors to be found. I instruct Spymaster Artemios to journey deep into infidel territory to monitor their movements. He finds no armies as well. I send him a message to take great care in securing his safety in such dangerous environs. What I don’t tell him is that I want him to die from my orders, not some infidel’s.
Don’t let the ‘9’ deceive you. It is only a ruse.
To distract me from the campaign in the south, I decide it is time for another of my father’s murderers to die. Who better than the initial instigator of the plot against him, Theophano, his wife?
Since Artemios is busy trying not to die among the infidels, I ask Mayor Bagrat to take the initiative in assassinating Theophano. The poor man is so overjoyed at this return to something like the spymaster position that his eyes almost seem to pop out of his head as he chortles with glee at the talk of a plot. Unfortunately it seems that something has popped inside his head as a result of his extreme agitation, and he promptly falls to the side and dies. Poor, loyal Bagrat. It was difficult to be a very good spymaster when you have a kind heard as he did.
Fortunately Theophano turns out to be so incredibly naïve and trusting that even by myself, with no conspirators, I could end the woman’s life. I don’t really have the stomach for such things, however, so I ask Innokentios to join my plot. He readily agrees.
Innokentios turns out to be a thorough plotter, hatching not only one murder plot but also setting up a backup plot just in case the first fails. Perhaps someone is trying to catch my eye as the next spymaster?
With that plot power I could take out an entire dynasty.
Inspired by Innokentios’ efforts, I decide to have a few more courtiers assist in killing Theophano. Why leave anything to chance?
We hold a banquet to honor the memory of my dead father. Theophano seems preoccupied throughout and a bit apprehensive. This worries me, for she was known to be deadly with a weapon, and quite likely she has a knife or two hidden in her tunica somewhere, possibly something even larger. Unfortunately for her, her anxieties come too late. By the time she knows there is danger, she has already drunk the poisoned wine and is dying. It did not look as though she would expire quickly or quietly, and I became concerned that her spectacle of dying would upset the guests. So I politely suggest that she get a breath of fresh air outside the chamber on the balcony. Of course this is the same balcony that has the rigged railing, and so she fell to her death, whether ultimately from poison or the fall we will never know for sure. Dear father, I have come that much closer to avenging you. Only Artemios and Appollonios remain.
A small force of infidels in Sennar seem preoccupied by angry peasants or baboons. Caveat emptor, Caliph abu Mansur. Caveat emptor.
Good news is followed by further good news as I receive reports that a portion of my army—travelling in smaller segments to avoid the worst of attrition in the hot African sun—is poised at the border of Gondar. My allies had finally seen reason and waited for my army. So they all approach together and found practically no enemies armies in sight. The castles, cities, and temples of Gondar hang like ripe fruit, warmed by the sun, ready to be picked.
The night before we issue our declaration of war to the infidels, I have another dream about Abyssinia. Again I dream that I am the last Christian monarch reining in Abyssinia, with one of my Ethiopian armies drawn up in front of the gates of Fasilghebbi Castle in Gondar before dawn. As they chant my name with love in their throats, the sunlight breaks over the mountains to the east. Carrion birds circle far above, knowing that they will feed well on the bodies of my enemies before the sun sets again. I wake knowing what I must do.
My generals gasp in surprise—and I would even think I detect a note of horror—when I announce the next morning that we are changing our declaration of war for… the Duchy of Gondar. I tell them firmly that I will not be satisfied until I am the next Queen of Abyssinia. I do not judge them for the many sideways looks that I see among them. It is to be expected from the many who are satisfied with pettiness.
Initially I plan to supplement my 4,200 levees with 7,200 Turkish mercenaries. My theory is that hiring both of the ve Emba brothers at the same time will cause them each to try to outdo the other in my service. But then I remember that I can call allies to arms.
My dynasty alliances finally come to fruition. I am able to call not only Doux Neophytos of Sicily, but also Basileus Alaxandros of the Byzantine Empire. I am very excited by this last addition, until I realize that the Basileus Consort rules only the small duchy of Galilee. Oh well, every little bit helps.
Surely “careless” here is referring to his stoical view of the world. Let’s hope so, anyway.
Instead of the ve Emba brothers, then, I will hire Captain Etrek “the Careless” of the Cuman Company, altogether giving me 7,700 troops under my direct control. My allies will amount to 2,000 troops, who will doubtlessly wander randomly over the countryside helping me little other than providing possible targets for angry infidel armies. It is only after I hire the mercenary company that I learn that its leader is known for being craven. This is not a good sign.
As my army sets out for far away Africa, Monophysite Demetrios Kantakouzenos dies “of natural causes,” which is the official version for his real cause of death, which was a freakish explosion in his alchemy laboratory. He had not left the room for weeks, having his food delivered to him, when the explosion was heard throughout the castle. Upon investigation, we did not find a scrap of his body anywhere, just charred clothes and burnt personal effects. There was, however, a powerful odor of singed hair, which then pervaded the castle and took weeks to finally dissipate. I had always liked kind Demetrios, despite his abhorrent heretical beliefs.
Again? Please, Lord, grant me a breather.
Owing to some deficiency in his intelligence, my ally Mikhael takes his army far ahead, despite my generals’ exhortations to wait for the main body of our host. This is not a good sign. Strangely, though, from the messages I receive as my army marches continually south, it is quiet among the infidels. There are only small bodies of their warriors to be found. I instruct Spymaster Artemios to journey deep into infidel territory to monitor their movements. He finds no armies as well. I send him a message to take great care in securing his safety in such dangerous environs. What I don’t tell him is that I want him to die from my orders, not some infidel’s.
Don’t let the ‘9’ deceive you. It is only a ruse.
To distract me from the campaign in the south, I decide it is time for another of my father’s murderers to die. Who better than the initial instigator of the plot against him, Theophano, his wife?
Since Artemios is busy trying not to die among the infidels, I ask Mayor Bagrat to take the initiative in assassinating Theophano. The poor man is so overjoyed at this return to something like the spymaster position that his eyes almost seem to pop out of his head as he chortles with glee at the talk of a plot. Unfortunately it seems that something has popped inside his head as a result of his extreme agitation, and he promptly falls to the side and dies. Poor, loyal Bagrat. It was difficult to be a very good spymaster when you have a kind heard as he did.
Fortunately Theophano turns out to be so incredibly naïve and trusting that even by myself, with no conspirators, I could end the woman’s life. I don’t really have the stomach for such things, however, so I ask Innokentios to join my plot. He readily agrees.
Innokentios turns out to be a thorough plotter, hatching not only one murder plot but also setting up a backup plot just in case the first fails. Perhaps someone is trying to catch my eye as the next spymaster?
With that plot power I could take out an entire dynasty.
Inspired by Innokentios’ efforts, I decide to have a few more courtiers assist in killing Theophano. Why leave anything to chance?
We hold a banquet to honor the memory of my dead father. Theophano seems preoccupied throughout and a bit apprehensive. This worries me, for she was known to be deadly with a weapon, and quite likely she has a knife or two hidden in her tunica somewhere, possibly something even larger. Unfortunately for her, her anxieties come too late. By the time she knows there is danger, she has already drunk the poisoned wine and is dying. It did not look as though she would expire quickly or quietly, and I became concerned that her spectacle of dying would upset the guests. So I politely suggest that she get a breath of fresh air outside the chamber on the balcony. Of course this is the same balcony that has the rigged railing, and so she fell to her death, whether ultimately from poison or the fall we will never know for sure. Dear father, I have come that much closer to avenging you. Only Artemios and Appollonios remain.
A small force of infidels in Sennar seem preoccupied by angry peasants or baboons. Caveat emptor, Caliph abu Mansur. Caveat emptor.
Good news is followed by further good news as I receive reports that a portion of my army—travelling in smaller segments to avoid the worst of attrition in the hot African sun—is poised at the border of Gondar. My allies had finally seen reason and waited for my army. So they all approach together and found practically no enemies armies in sight. The castles, cities, and temples of Gondar hang like ripe fruit, warmed by the sun, ready to be picked.
WHAT? you ahvent lost the war yet?
just make sure to stay away from sennar. and dont allow the soldiers near the tej while they still have to figth.
just make sure to stay away from sennar. and dont allow the soldiers near the tej while they still have to figth.
I wish you the best of luck in regaining your birthright, what could be more noble than avenging your dynasty and pleasing God (monotheistic or otherwise) at the same time. She'll make a good queen someday I hope.
Good work mate
Good work mate
Hello from the end of page 9. I have a large stack of essays I should be grading; instead, I'm laughing hysterically at the awesomeness of this dynasty. It must be something in the Badger blood (I'm a Wisconsin native).
(I'm a Wisconsin native).
Where are the doomstacks anyway? I don't believe it; this looks like a success waiting to happen.
An update on the parallel universe Zagwes:
Your interdimensional kinsmen have survived as an independent Abyssnia past 1200 but are currently locked in a civil war. Also they seemed to have kept their traditional religion
Your interdimensional kinsmen have survived as an independent Abyssnia past 1200 but are currently locked in a civil war. Also they seemed to have kept their traditional religion
I am always tickled to see the standard of your duchy.
PHEAR the armies of the uhh... Nightshirts? :rofl:
And good luck and Godspeed on your holy war for your birthright! May the Zagwes again wear the crown of Abyssinia!!
Keeping Up With Zagwes - murders, childbirth, Tej, baboons, knucklebones and so much more. Only on Philo32b Channel.
I have found an explanation for the recent Zagwe successes:
the save file has been hijacked by this guy:
the save file has been hijacked by this guy:
I would gift you the african portraits dlc if I could! You deserve it for being so stubborn in suic... err.. adquiring Abbysinia.
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